Every Time Two Fools Collide
by oucellogal
Summary: It all begins with some booze and some dancing in a bar in Nashville. But how will Lilly and Scotty handle things when they get back to Philly? Romance, humor, and a few dollops of angst, after "The Red and the Blue." Enjoy! ***Now complete!***
1. If Bubba Can Dance I Can Too

**Every Time Two Fools Collide**

**Summary: Scotty and Lilly have some fun on their trip to Nashville, but how will they handle it back in Philly? LillyScotty fluff, and hopefully humor, with a little dollop of angst.**

**Spoilers: Canon through parts of "The Red and the Blue," although they flew to Nashville in my story, and Charlene, bless her little heart, does not exist. Story and chapter titles are, in keeping with the episode's theme, the titles of country songs.**

**Rating: This chapter T; other chapters, definitely M for smut and a little language.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS do. But since the writers aren't using them right now, I figured I'd play around with them a bit.**

**Author's Note: This is my first fanfic I've been brave enough to post here. Let me know if you like it!**

* * *

**Chapter One: If Bubba Can Dance (I Can Too)**

The sounds of twangy music filled the air as Detective Scotty Valens sat at the bar nursing his third scotch. He couldn't even begin to comprehend how far out of his element he was. He hadn't traveled much in his life, had barely been south of Philadelphia, except for a couple of family trips to see cousins get married in Miami. Nashville…well…Nashville was a whole different world for him.

He and Lilly had been there investigating the murder of some poor soul named Truck Sugar. Even the name caused Scotty to almost giggle, although there was a more-than-decent chance it was the booze. Truck Sugar. Who the hell would saddle their kid with a name like that?

He hadn't even wanted to come in the first place, but when the detectives had held a drawing for the right to accompany Lilly to Tennessee, he had "won." Or lost. He wasn't sure yet. But in what seemed like the blink of an eye, Scotty Valens had found himself in Tennessee. And here he was, in some honky-tonk, sawdust-on-the-floor, short-ribs-and-steel-guitar bar, and the best solution seemed to be to just get good and drunk.

Scotty took another sip of his drink and glanced around the bar, looking for his partner. Last time he'd seen Lilly, she'd been do-si-do-ing with Big Daddy, Nashville's Chief of Police. Big Daddy…Truck Sugar... this place was a walking Southern stereotype. He couldn't wait to get back to Philly and tell the others all about Lilly the Line Dancer. It seems she'd been to Knoxville before; she'd mentioned it in passing, but he didn't think any of the South had rubbed off on her. He smiled as he spotted Lilly, the normally all-business detective, line-dancing with the best of them, and realized one thing: he didn't know Lilly Rush nearly as well as he thought he did. Chuckling, he finished off his scotch and ordered another.

* * *

Lilly threw her head back and laughed as the song finished. She'd had absolutely no intention of even setting foot in the bar, but after solving the case, the Nashville detectives had insisted that their two guests join them at the local bar, and they'd simply refused to take no for an answer. Southern hospitality and all of that. So she and Scotty had gone, expecting some Southern-fried version of First Thursdays, but nothing like this. Something had taken hold of Lilly in this bar, with the country music, that made her feel nineteen again, and she hadn't felt quite so free in a long time.

Feeling thirsty, she sidled up to the bar for another drink. The dancing had made her warm, and Lilly lifted her hair off her damp neck after placing her order.

"Seems like you're havin' a good time," a deep, familiar voice said. She turned to her right and saw Scotty with a hazed expression in his eyes. He had undone the top couple buttons of his collar, and his cheeks were tinted with a slight flush. Raising an eyebrow, she grinned. "Seems like you might be, as well," she replied.

Scotty smiled before taking another sip of scotch. "Back in Philly tomorrow, thank God."

The bartender slid Lilly's drink in front of her. She smiled her thanks and took a sip. "C'mon, Valens, this can't be that bad," she pressed.

"The only thing I've ever seen worse than this is my eighty-nine year-old great-aunt trying to do the Funky Chicken at my cousin's wedding reception," Scotty replied with a smile.

"Are you saying I'm a bad dancer?" Lilly asked, with a grin.

"Not as bad as my great aunt," Scotty replied.

"Well, at least I'm out there. I haven't seen your butt leave the barstool all night," Lilly challenged. "C'mon, I'll show you a few steps."

Scotty's eyes widened in amused horror. "No way…There is not enough scotch in all of Nashville."

"Oh, I see. You just don't want to admit you got no rhythm." She gave his arm a playful shove.

Scotty responded to her challenge, as she knew he would. "Wait a minute, now…I got rhythm."

"So what's the holdup?" Lilly started to sway back and forth playfully.

Scotty looked uncertainly from his partner to the dance floor. "I don't do country."

Downing her drink, Lilly grabbed his hand. "Come on, Valens. What happens in Nashville stays in Nashville."

Scotty drained his drink as well, and set the glass on the counter with a thunk. "You better mean that, Rush."

* * *

Several songs later, Lilly winced as Scotty stepped on her foot yet again. "Sorry," he said with a lopsided smile.

Lilly felt her heart do a little flip. She was sure it was the booze talking, maybe the warmth of the bar and the nostalgia in the air, but something about that trademark grin was affecting her. "You really are a bad dancer," she said lightly. "I thought you said you got rhythm."

"I do," he protested. "Just not country rhythm. But I am a kick-ass salsa dancer."

Lilly laughed. "Well, if those country skills are any indication, I'm not buyin' it."

Scotty laughed along with her, and looked down into her sparkling blue eyes. He had never seen his partner this relaxed, this unguarded, and he found he liked it. He really liked it. The bizarre combination of alcohol, country music, and Lilly Rush were having an intoxicating effect on him, one that was not altogether unwelcome. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was when she smiled.

Caught up in his reverie, he missed another step, then apologized again as his left foot came down on top of his partner's. Fortunately, the song ended then, and a much slower one began to play. Scotty sighed with relief. "Now this I can handle," he said smoothly. The liquor had made him suddenly bold, and without giving any thought to the thousand and one reasons why he shouldn't, he pulled Lilly closer to him.

Startled, she looked up. "What are you doin', Scotty?"

"Dancin'," he replied with a grin. She considered him for a brief moment before relaxing and letting him lead.

Lilly's heart began to beat faster as they swayed in time to the music. She had never been this close to Scotty for this long, and it was doing unbelievably strange things to her. She inhaled the sweet, spicy scent of his skin and relished the feel of his warm hand on the small of her back. He led her confidently at the slower tempo, and suddenly she knew his alleged salsa skills were probably true after all. Something that felt like lightning shot through her veins as his breath tickled her ear and her cheek slowly, tentatively, came to rest against his.

Scotty's breathing quickened when Lilly moved even closer to him, and as she wrapped her arms around his neck, he felt himself grow hard. She had never had this effect on him before; until now, they had just been co-workers. Well, more than that, he figured. Friends. And co-workers. Friendly co-workers. And sure, he'd noticed her blonde hair, lithe figure, and brilliant blue eyes. He'd have had to have been completely blind not to. But she was his partner, and there were lines that just couldn't be crossed. Now, however….now, those lines were suddenly very, very blurry. All had been swept away…he was a man, and she was a woman, and he found himself drawn to her like a moth to flame, by a seemingly unstoppable force. In a split second, he decided not to think, but just to feel. He'd be a damn fool not to.

The song ended all too soon, and they stopped dancing. Lilly pulled away from Scotty and looked up into his eyes, almost gasping with the intensity she saw there. His coffee-colored eyes glittered, his lips parted slightly, and his breathing was shallow and rapid, even though the dance had required no physical exertion. _Holy crap, _she thought. She knew in an instant what he wanted, and, after a moment's consideration, realized that it was exactly what she craved.

Scotty stared helplessly at Lilly, utterly captivated. Her eyes were liquid pools of deep blue, hazed with alcohol and, if he was guessing right, desire. Her chest rose and fell almost as rapidly as his, and he could see her pulse pounding at the base of her long, ivory throat. He lowered his head toward hers, slowly at first, almost tentatively, not wanting anything to break the spell that had come over them. But when their lips met, it was all he could do to remain standing. Her lips were so gentle, so soft…Scotty's knees buckled, and he felt as though he would drown.


	2. Livin' In A Moment

**Author's Note: Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who took the time to read a****nd review Chapter 1!**** Your encouragement has made my day**** and given some much needed confidence to a ****fanfic**** newbie!!**

**So, yeah, this chapter is 100 percent pure smut. Skip it if you're offended by that sort of thing; the remainder of the story will make sense without it. The rest of you…enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, "Cold Case" would definitely have to be on cable.**

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**Chapter Two: ****Livin****' In ****A**** Moment**

Scotty would never remember how, or even if, they paid their bar tab. He had no recollection of the short jog back to their hotel. He had no idea whether they had gone to his hotel room or hers. All he remembered was fumbling with the deadbolt on the door before taking Lilly in his arms once again.

Their first kiss had been tentative, almost reverent, but there was nothing tentative about Scotty's gentle assault on Lilly's lips. She had never experienced a kiss like this before; heat radiating from where his lips touched hers and spreading rapidly throughout her whole body, pooling between her thighs. Scotty's tongue gently pushed her lips open, and she offered little resistance as he explored her mouth. As his hands tangled in her flaxen hair, Lilly moaned softly and offered up her throat. Tearing himself away from her mouth, his lips scorched a trail down the column of her swanlike neck. Her hands blazed a path from his waist to his shoulders, then his neck, and he let out a moan as her fingers deftly began to undo the buttons of his shirt. Her panting breaths caressed his ear and drove him to the brink of insanity. Never had he desired a woman so fiercely, never had the need been so consuming. The fullness in his loins was becoming almost unbearable.

A rush of cool air hit his arms as Lilly pushed his shirt from his shoulders. He returned the favor, unbuttoning her blouse as his lips feverishly followed. His hands brushed her silken skin as her shirt fell to the floor, and he managed to stop ravaging her with his lips long enough to gaze at her in wonder.

Lilly didn't know why Scotty had stopped, but the desire within her was burning with a fierceness she didn't know could exist. Seizing the opportunity, she closed the slight gap between them and began to devour Scotty's neck. He breathed her name, and her heart pounded even faster at the sound of his moans. The noises he was making made the fire at her center burn even hotter, and when he whispered something in Spanish, she lost her last ounce of control. There was nothing gentle about the way she rid him of his T-shirt, nor about the way his fingers unbuttoned her pants and caused them to pool at her feet.

Scotty relished the cool air hitting his dampened skin, but the relief was only momentary. Lilly's fingers were rapidly undoing his belt buckle, and when she pushed his pants and boxers down and took him in her hands, it was all he could do remain upright. Sounds tore from his throat as her lips blazed a path along his sweat-glazed chest and her hands stroked him, sounds he didn't know he was capable of making. She was driving him crazy, and he had to have her. Now.

Words failing him, he scooped her up and they fell onto the bed in a heap. Joy coursed through Lilly's veins as Scotty rid her of bra and panties and they slipped beneath the covers. The slight break in the action caused Scotty to regain some semblance of control, and he rolled Lilly beneath him as he began to kiss her neck again. He wanted to touch her, to taste her, to claim every part of her for himself. His tongue flicked between his lips as they caressed her skin, tasting heat and sweat and Lilly, and the mixture was intoxicating. He kissed her neck, her creamy shoulders, and the gentle swells of her breasts. She shrieked in pleasure as his lips closed around one of her hardened nipples, and she continued to gasp and cry out as his tongue toyed with her peak. Feverishly, she grabbed at his slick shoulders as he moved from one breast to the other. As his tongue traced circles around her nipple, she gasped his name.

As he devoured Lilly's breasts with his tongue, Scotty moved his hands down her satin belly to caress her thighs, and she opened them to him almost automatically. Scotty found the swollen bud between her legs and began to trace feathery circles over it with his thumb. Lilly's already frantic breathing sped up even more, and she looked at him with a haze of desire in her sapphire eyes. "Scotty…please…" she begged. He could take the torture no more himself, and slipped two fingers inside her and curled them slightly. He found the spot easily and began to rub with thumb and fingers, driving Lilly insane with desire. Scotty watched her as her pleasure built, his own lust becoming nearly unbearable. To see his normally coolly professional partner mindless with need, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, writhing in pleasure, moaning his name, was nearly his undoing.

And then she came, screaming in ecstasy, and Scotty felt her rhythmic clenching around his fingers. He held himself in check, forcing himself to wait, until she floated back down from the stars and opened her eyes. He had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life. Her blonde hair fanned out on the pillow, and her neck and cheeks were peppered with a pink blush, so different from her normally pale complexion. Her eyes glittered with satisfaction, and Lilly reached up to pull Scotty into her arms.

Scotty's conscience, which had been buried on the floor along with their discarded clothing, struggled to the surface and reminded him of the need for protection. Stumbling from the bed, he groped blindly for his pants and wallet, somehow managed to find a condom and roll it on before returning to the bed and Lilly, who had turned over onto her side, her breathing slowing, and was gazing at him with an intoxicated smile on her face. "Your turn, cowboy," she teased.

Returning her grin, Scotty climbed back into the bed and kissed her lips briefly before rolling her onto her back and sheathing himself inside her. He entered her easily, and the feeling of her surrounding him completely almost made him come right there.

Lilly, who thought she could never experience a pleasure as intense as what Scotty just gave her, gasped in surprise. Though she had been deeply sated mere moments before, the way he filled her completely made her crave more, and the pressure started to build again as the two of them began to rock their hips in perfect rhythm, their slick bodies grinding together in unison.

Scotty forgot all about being gentle and began to pound inside Lilly, moving faster and faster. He panted, desperately trying to keep up with the tempo his desire insisted that he take. Lilly followed him stroke for stroke, building, climbing, aching for the release that seemed just out of reach. Scotty was on the brink of ecstasy when Lilly came again, gasping, panting, and screaming his name, and feeling her clenching around him pushed him over the edge into his own paradise. With a breathless shout in Spanish, he spilled himself and collapsed on top of her, breathless, sweaty, and spent.

They lay motionless, completely satisfied, never wanting to move again as their panting breaths slowed and frantic heartbeats returned to normal. Scotty wanted to roll off of Lilly, to kiss her again, to thank her, to speak eloquently of her beauty, but his limbs refused to obey. Finally, when the connection between his brain and muscles seemed to be in working order once again, he pushed himself off of Lilly and rolled to the side, removing and disposing of the condom as he did so. He turned back to face her and saw her gazing at him, and he knew if he died right then and there, he would die a happy man.

"Thanks, Valens," she sighed with a dazzling smile. Scotty responded with his adorable little half-smile, his eyes shimmering with joy. He took her in his arms, caressed her hair, and pressed a kiss to her damp forehead. "You're welcome, Rush," he replied. She pillowed her head on his chest, and before they knew it, a sated sleep had claimed them both.

**A/N: Okay, off to find my hubby now. I have some busy-ness in Real Life to attend to in the next few days, but I hope to have chapter 3 finished and up by the end of the week! Let me know what you think...**


	3. Fool Hearted Memory

**Author's Note: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I think it's my favorite so far. Hope you have fun reading it, and please review! **

**Rating: M for language. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. By now, this should be fairly obvious.**

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**Chapter Three: Fool Hearted Memory**

Daylight gradually pulled Scotty from a deep sleep the next morning. He awoke in a thick fog, with his face buried in the pillow, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, and his head throbbing. He moaned with regret as his hangover made its unwelcome presence known, and began to try and force himself fully awake. Opening one eye to glance at the clock, he realized that there was plenty of time to get to the airport for the flight back to Philly, but his heart sank when he realized he was going to have to spend a few hours on a plane in his miserable state. Flying with a hangover was the worst.

He sure hoped Lilly had managed to keep her head on straight, though the sudden, hazy memory of her line dancing with Big Daddy didn't instill a lot of confidence. The Lilly Rush he knew didn't dance, so he figured she'd had more than her share of booze as well.

Lilly….when had she left the bar last night, anyway? Scotty's mind fought through the fuzz as he tried to remember the previous evening's events. He pushed himself up onto his elbow slightly to try to get his bearings, and saw his clothing scattered across the floor. As the memory dawned on him, a satisfied smile crept across his face. Oh, yeah...that's right…he'd had sex. _Really, really damn good sex. With…_

_Who? _

He couldn't remember.

He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes, trying to place the clothing that he couldn't readily identify as his. Black pants. Light blue blouse. Black blazer. Clothing that suddenly seemed uncomfortably familiar. Clothing that could only belong to…

_Oh, shit._

Reality hit him like a ton of bricks, and he sat bolt upright in bed, then groaned as his already throbbing head protested the sudden movement with an extra shot of pain. Scotty scrubbed a hand over his stubbled face as the memories came flooding back. Lilly coaxing him out onto the dance floor…Lilly smiling up at him as he bent down to kiss her…Lilly trying to keep up with him as they raced back to the hotel…Lilly pushing aside his pants and taking him in her hands…Lilly screaming in ecstasy as she came…Lilly resting her head on his shoulder and drifting off to sleep…

_Oh, SHIT._

He looked to his right and saw the sleeping form of Lilly Rush. His first instinct was to bolt out of bed and hide in the bathroom, but his body wouldn't allow him to move that fast, and besides, the sudden movement would wake her, and he wasn't sure he wanted to be around for that. Who knew what her reaction would be? His mind raced through the possibilities, and every scenario he could conjure up involved her kicking the crap out of him. Slowly, gently, he slid out of the bed, praying with every inch of progress that Lilly didn't wake up. And he figured that apparently, somewhere along the line, he must have done something right, because his prayer was answered. Once on his feet, Scotty fumbled around on the floor for his boxers and tried to get his bearings. He hoped he'd be able to sneak out without waking her, to get back to his room and have some time to figure out how the hell he was going to face her on the plane back to Philly, how the fucking hell they were going to work together after this. Crap. What had he been thinking last night? How could he have let this happen? He'd slept with the wrong woman more than once, but this? This took the cake. Not only was she his co-worker, his partner, hell, his ex-girlfriend's sister, but, he realized, she was his best friend, too. Scotty wasn't exactly sure how many rules that broke, but he knew it was a number higher than he could count in his addled state. Frantically, he gathered up his clothes, threw them on, and headed for the door…

Until he saw the suitcase open on the stand.

_SHIT._

It was his suitcase.

Not hers.

His.

God_dammit._

He turned around hastily, taking in the rest of the room, and sure enough, he recognized all the belongings strewn about as his. In his haste, he stubbed his toe on the dresser and swore again.

Lilly moaned and stirred in her sleep, and Scotty froze dead in his tracks. He breathed a sigh of relief when her eyes didn't open, but he decided that it had been entirely too close, and beat a hasty retreat to the bathroom, where he realized that a shower was probably in order. He turned on the water, managing to scald himself as he always did when using unfamiliar showers, and began to undress, catching a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. Sunken, bloodshot eyes, disheveled hair, and a full day's worth of stubble. With a rueful smile, he sarcastically congratulated himself. _You look like hell, Valens._

He stepped into the shower and just stood there for a few minutes, letting the hot water and steam coax some life back into his body, before fumbling with the little bottle of shampoo and working the suds through his hair.

* * *

Sleep slowly released its claim on Lilly as she gradually opened her eyes and, ignoring the dull throbbing of her head, tried in vain to adjust to the brightness of the room. What time was it? She panicked briefly, knowing she had a plane to catch, and rolled over to find the clock radio. The glowing red numbers brought her a sense of relief: it was much earlier than she thought it was.

As conscious thought returned, she heard an unfamiliar sound. Water. Water running…somewhere. The shower…her shower. Who would be taking a shower? Who the hell else would be taking a shower in her room?

She sat up to try to assess the situation, and quickly realized that she wasn't in her own room. Who the hell had she gone home with last night…and what the hell had they done?

Lilly forced herself out of bed, not knowing how long her mystery man had been in the shower, but she reasoned that if he was anything like most men, she wouldn't have long. As Lilly started to gather her discarded clothing from the floor, she suddenly remembered how it had gotten there. Bronze skin…soft lips…gently flowing Spanish…her heart raced at the memory, but the man's face wouldn't spring to mind.

Well, whoever he was, Tennessee had been good to her, and she would return home with confidence. At least here in Nashville, nobody knew about her scads of issues, her tendency to play the porcupine with anyone who tried to get close, her increasingly cemented status as a crazy cat lady. With a slight smile, she wondered how Scotty had fared the previous evening.

Lilly quickly gathered up the rest of her clothing, not sure what she would say to…whoever…but knowing that probably it would be best to say it fully clothed. As she stepped into her pants, she noticed the suitcase in the corner. It looked familiar…oddly familiar…

She crept to the suitcase and turned over the tag, hoping perhaps the man had a business card or something, so maybe she could disguise the fact that she had no idea who the hell he was. What she saw stopped her dead in her tracks.

**Detective Scotty Valens, Homicide, Philadelphia Police Department.**

_Oh, SHIT!_

The blood drained from her face, and she could have sworn her heart had stopped beating altogether. It was Scotty? Her bronzed mystery man was _Scotty_? Her partner? The closest thing she had to a best friend? The one who, until now, apparently, she had mostly viewed as a little brother to watch out for?

A string of obscenities flew out of Lilly's mouth as she hastily searched for her bra (finally finding it on top of the television), threw on the rest of her clothing, and started looking for her shoes. Knowing that she was in Scotty's room, that he was naked in the bathroom, made her want to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. She knew that they could never repeat what happened the previous night. They were partners. Professionals. And friends. They had been tired, drunk, and incredibly, indescribably stupid. It was, quite possibly, no…definitely…the worst mistake she'd ever made, and she hoped against hope that Scotty felt the same way. Regardless, she knew she couldn't face him yet, and she realized, with horror, that she would be spending the entire afternoon sealed in a plane with him, and she couldn't face that, either. She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and frantically found the number for her travel agent. Lilly had to find some other flight, some other way to get back to Philly without having to deal with any of this crap until she was coherent enough to even begin to wrap her mind around her amazing, mind-boggling stupidity. It was Friday morning, they had the weekend ahead of them, and maybe, just maybe, they could conduct themselves with some degree of professional decorum the following Monday.

After a brief conversation with the travel agent, it was ascertained that a single seat remained on a flight to Philadelphia leaving in an hour and a half. Even though it would probably cost her a painful amount of her own money, Lilly didn't care. She had to get out. She called a cab, and, this done, she breathed a sigh of relief.

Having solved her immediate problems, Lilly scribbled a note and left it on top of Scotty's suitcase. The shower was still running as she clicked the door closed and hurried back down the hall to her own room.

* * *

Scotty climbed out of the shower, dried himself off, and wrapped the towel around his waist. He needed clean clothes; clothes that didn't smell like barbecue or whiskey, but in his haste to hide from Lilly in the bathroom, he had neglected to bring any with him. Quickly, he shaved, splashed some cologne on his face, and opened the door. The steam rushed out of the bathroom in a cloud ahead of him as he crept over to the suitcase, not wanting to disturb Lilly in case she was still sleeping. But when he got to the suitcase, something stopped him cold. A hastily scribbled note in familiar handwriting made her position on the issue perfectly clear. 

_Valens---_

_What happened in Nashville stays in Nashville. Catching an early flight. See you in Philly._

_--Rush_

Scotty's heart sank as he considered her words. It was undoubtedly for the best, but he'd hoped that perhaps they'd be able to at least talk things over before they went home, to avoid the inevitable awkwardness that no doubt awaited them back at the office. And, truth be told, he hadn't wanted it to end here. Not yet. He shook his head as he realized that one taste of Lilly Rush wasn't going to be enough for him, not now, not ever, and he had no fucking idea how he was going to work so closely with her from now on.

Chagrined, he fumbled for some aspirin as his headache returned in full force.

**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave me a review! Real Life is going to intrude in a major way next week, but I hope to have the next part up soon.**


	4. The Closer You Get

**Author's note: Again, thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**I wasn't planning to make ****an entire chapter out of this, but Lilly opened up to me. Since she never does t****hat****, I figured I'd take advantage of it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be so concerned about coming up with clever disclaimers.**

* * *

**Chapter Four: The Closer You Get**

Lilly fumbled in her bag for her iPod and a book. It was a crowded plane, and she was sandwiched between two obese women who had both begun snoring practically as soon as the plane took off. It seemed they were trying to one-up each other, each snore one notch louder than the last, but Lilly didn't care. In her current state, that seemed just about perfect. She was relieved that she hadn't been seated next to one of those chatty types, those people whose chief ambition seemed to be to get the life story of complete strangers between takeoff and landing. She couldn't deal with that right now. She was sure that if her seatmates had been awake, they would have seen the situation emblazoned on her face, like a neon sign. "I HAD STUPID, DRUNK SEX WITH THE ABSOLUTE LAST PERSON I SHOULD BE HAVING STUPID, DRUNK SEX WITH."

Her mission on this flight was to forget. To forget that anything had happened last night, to forget the way Scotty looked at her with those smoldering eyes and those long, coal-black lashes. To forget the way she'd felt when he touched her, to forget the way he'd moaned when she'd touched him, to forget the way his lips had branded every inch of her skin.

Hell, if she was being completely honest with herself, Lilly wasn't entirely sure she wanted to forget. Scotty had satisfied a hunger she didn't know she had, but in its wake was a new craving. An addiction. Like she didn't know how good it could be, but once she knew…well…she was on a mission to experience it again.

Except she couldn't. Not with Scotty. Lord, no, not with Scotty. Scotty was her partner. He was her friend. Oh, sure, she'd noticed him the moment they met. Noticed his sculpted cheekbones, noticed his chocolate eyes, noticed the sexy way he occasionally ran a hand through his hair when he was upset. She'd have had to be blind not to notice. But he was her partner. All kinds of wrong. Completely and totally off-limits. So she had chosen to file away her attraction the moment she realized it. Wall it off. Store it away. It was the only safe thing to do. After a while, her initial jolt of attraction had seemed to fade into a gentle affection, the way she'd imagine feeling about a little brother, if she had one.

And yet, it had bothered her every time another woman flitted her way through Scotty's life. Elisa hadn't; sweet, innocent Elisa who didn't deserve the horrible hand she'd been dealt. But how he chose to find comfort after that, well. That was another matter altogether. Unexplained jealousy had consumed her then; the mere thought of her sister's hands touching Scotty was enough to send her into a blind rage, to make her want to scream, to throw things, to vomit. Just like it had with Patrick.

And that is why Lilly Rush couldn't love again. She had been hurt, badly, by so much of life, and had constructed steel-reinforced concrete walls around her heart. Everywhere she turned, people who were supposed to care about her were screwing her over. Her dad left, her mom forgot to feed her, her mom's boyfriend…no, she wasn't having any of that. That was part of what made being a cop so appealing to her. To be a good murder cop, you HAD to wall off your heart. The job would kill you if you didn't. And if you showed even the slightest weakness, any at all, they'd chew you up and spit you out. Especially as a woman. She'd learned that the hard way.

So she'd locked up her heart, thinking she'd thrown away the key, and then Patrick showed up. Patrick, with his dark blonde waves and mesmerizing gray eyes, who swore he'd love her and care for her and never hurt her. He'd slowly, patiently torn down those walls, bit by precious bit, until she was crazy in love with him, and he'd proposed. She'd said yes, with tears in her eyes. Bought a dress. Booked a church. Made Christina the maid of honor. The whole shebang.

And then one day, she'd come back from the flower shop to find Patrick in bed with Chris, and her world had shattered once again. The two people on earth she never thought would hurt her, the only two people on a planet of six billion that she could trust, had fucked up her life beyond all possible measure. She hadn't said anything then, just turned around and walked out. Patrick had tried to follow her, had tried to reason with her, but he did so while trying to put his pants back on. That scene, Patrick trying to find the leg holes of his jeans while professing his undying love for her, her sister still naked in the next room, had made Lilly laugh. Not a joyous, twinkle-in-your-eyes, bubbly laugh, but a cold, dry, mirthless laugh, the kind of laugh that disguises a breaking heart. She'd kicked him out, him and Christina both, and told them she never wanted to see either one of them again.

And so Lilly was on her own. Thank God for the Philadelphia Police Department. Her life was total crap, but her job…she was damn good at her job. She knew it, and everyone else knew it. She'd quickly risen through the ranks, and soon became the lone female detective in Homicide. When she'd investigated her first cold case, her blood sang through her veins, and for the first time, she felt alive, felt whole, felt like she was accomplishing something. Maybe she couldn't fix her life, but she could at least do a little bit to ease the pain of someone else's.

But to do that, and do it well, she'd had to reconstruct her walls. Higher. Thicker. Stronger this time, to keep out everything and everyone. Most of the time, Lilly felt like she was living in a box made of one-way glass, the kind in the interview rooms. She could see the world, but nobody could see her. Nobody could see the real her, anyway. She would never be hurt again, she promised herself that.

And so she existed in that box. She didn't always like it. Truth be told, sometimes she felt like she was serving a life sentence in a self-made prison. She'd tried dating, but that had been pretty disastrous. Guys who either shared in her self-destructive tendencies, like Ray, or guys who were genuinely decent, like Kite and Joseph, guys she should have let herself be happy with, but she simply could not allow herself to get close again. Closeness equaled pain in Lilly's world.

And that's why Scotty and Christina had made her so angry. He'd learned the ropes of the job, given her the respect she needed, and proven a worthy partner. They'd even become friends; at least, to the extent Lilly had allowed it in that one-way glass box. And then Christina showed up, after having screwed up her own life even worse than before, and wanted to waltz in like nothing ever happened. And Scotty betrayed her. He'd slept with Chris, and lied about it to her face.

But something had happened with him. After Christina left, she had gotten glimpses of why Scotty had done what he'd done. She'd seen how devastated he'd been after Elisa, and Chris, on the heels of that horrible pain…he was just seeking comfort, some tiny shred of normalcy, and she really couldn't blame him. She still hated her sister with a fiery passion, but she'd managed, over the course of the last two years, to forgive Scotty. To let him in, as far as she dared.

That settled it, then. The walls would have to go back up. She couldn't let him see how this was affecting her, because to him, it probably meant nothing. Elisa, she felt, was it for Scotty. They'd even had a conversation on the plane to Nashville about how every good cop was something of a lone wolf, and Scotty had said he didn't think marriage was in the cards for either one of them. Lilly hoped it hadn't shown, but her heart had broken just a little bit when he'd said that. Because despite the walls she'd built, despite all her fears, despite the pain getting close to people had brought into her life, she still had that little girl's hope of a white dress and a flowery church, and a guy standing at the front of it who would love her, honor her, cherish her, and never, ever hurt her. She didn't know where to find that guy, but since Joseph left, she had begun to doubt his existence, so she buried herself in her work and lavished her unspent love on her cats. Not that they minded. The moment she'd laid eyes on Tripod and Olivia, she immediately understood how they felt: broken, damaged, unwanted, unloved. One look into their eyes told her they were kindred spirits.

So that's where she stood. At work, she was tough, professional, challenging, completely in control and on top of her game. Doing the world a favor by sweeping the streets clean of their scum. In life, she was lonely, depressed, a crazy cat lady in the making. A chasm stretched between the two extremes, which was just the way she wanted it. If anyone she met on the job knew she had any weaknesses, any at all, they'd pounce on her like she was a wounded zebra in the Serengeti. So she had to keep them all out, even Scotty. _Especially_ Scotty. And what happened couldn't happen again. Not ever. She could think of a thousand reasons why, and they were _good _reasons.

But as she sat on that plane, trying vainly to concentrate on her book, Lilly knew, with a sinking heart, Scotty had already gotten in. Somehow, he'd managed to penetrate her walls just a little bit over the four years they'd known each other. He was the closest thing to a best friend she had; they were able to work together, to laugh together, to hold each other up during the worst moments of the job, and now, having slept with him…he'd gotten under her skin, into her head, and dangerously, terrifyingly close to her heart. She needed to stem the tide, to plug the leak in the dam, to not let him in any further than she already had.

So she'd be the Ice Queen at work. It was her defense, it was her survival mechanism. It was the only way she knew to protect herself from all the crap life had flung at her. Lonely? Yes. But safe. Scotty hated it when she froze him out, she knew that, but it was for the best. It had to happen. Eventually, she hoped, they could go back to the way they were, but not if she couldn't forget. Forget his kisses, forget his eyes, forget his hands. She had to forget. She had no choice.

It was a matter of life and death.

**A/N: Please review! Next part will be up soon! The plot will advance, I promise. **


	5. It Sure Is Monday

**A/N: Thanks again to everyone who read and reviewed! Your encouragement means a lot!**** I hope you enjoy this next part. Things are about to get...uncomfortable.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I think they might own me.**

* * *

**Chapter Five: It Sure Is Monday**

Scotty took a deep breath and walked into the squad room, trying to spot Lilly quickly, see if he could size up her mood, and to not make it obvious he was doing so. The note she'd left in Nashville had made things pretty clear, and the fact that she'd flown home early just so she wouldn't have to be near him had made them even clearer. He'd spent a miserable, hung-over flight back to Philadelphia, stuck in a row with one of those annoying friendly types, the ones that want to drag out every last detail of your life and play Amateur Psychology Hour, and an empty seat. Strangely enough, that empty seat had bothered Scotty more than the chatterbox. It had silently mocked him for the entire duration of the flight, a wordless reminder of what a colossal mess he'd made.

He'd decided to follow Lilly's lead. If his hunch was correct, he reckoned she'd give him that damned Ice Queen look again, and maybe a private lecture on appropriate office behavior, and that would be the end of it. He knew this, and it caused his heart to sink with disappointment. Because, if he were being entirely honest with himself, he'd be forced to admit that it wasn't just Lilly's golden hair and sparkling eyes that attracted him. No, Scotty realized, with no small degree of horror, he liked _her_. It was embarrassing, really, to discover that he had somehow managed to develop feelings for the one person who wouldn't, couldn't, and probably shouldn't ever return them.

So it was with a considerable amount of apprehension that he walked through those doors. He had a pretty good idea of what he was about to face, and he wasn't looking forward to it. He'd done the awkward morning-after scene before, but it had mostly been with semi-anonymous women who didn't seem interested in anything more than wham-bam-thank you ma'am. Not that Lilly would be interested in anything more than that, either. Crap. He could not get his hopes up, not when it came to her. The only reasonable hope he had was for an eventual return to the easy working relationship they'd enjoyed. And the feelings? Well…he had absolutely no idea what he'd do about those. Those, he figured, would sort themselves out in the end. He hoped.

Suddenly, he spotted Lilly, and stopped dead in his tracks. She was hunched over her desk, holding a pen in one hand and a steaming mug of coffee in the other. She didn't look up, just took a sip of her coffee and turned over a page in her folder.

"Hey, look who made it back from Nashville!" a loud, grating voice said behind Scotty, causing all heads to turn in his direction. _Well, s__o much for subtle, _Scotty thought, as Nick Vera rounded the corner and clapped him on the back heartily. Lilly glanced up at the commotion and saw Scotty there, in the flesh, cutting a very impressive figure in his suit and looking even more delicious than she remembered. _Dammit._ Of course, he had to wear her favorite tie, the one that contrasted so nicely with his dusky skin and raven hair…

Lilly cursed again as a sudden flush of heat coursed through her veins. Her mission to be professional and forget everything was hard, hard work when Scotty came in looking like that. It was as though he had made it his personal mission to make it impossible for her to concentrate on her job. _You can do this, Rush. Just look at the case file. No, do not look at him. Look at the case file. There. Good girl._

She had just regained her composure when Vera drawled, in a mock Southern accent, "Y'all have fun down there? Y'all do any of that Boot Scootin' Boogie?" Vera began to sway back and forth in what could only charitably be called an imitation of line dancing.

Lilly's head snapped up in horror, and she could feel a blush creeping up her neck. She ordered herself to avoid, avoid, _avoid_ looking at Scotty, do not look at Scotty, do _not_ look at _Scotty_.

Crap. She looked at Scotty. Only to find him stealing a glance in her direction. Double crap. Now he knew she was flustered, that he was affecting her…god _damm_it. And he was _looking_ at her…eyebrows raised, dark eyes sparkling, a teasing grin beginning to form at the corners of his mouth. Triple crap. She had to nip this in the bud. Calling upon every acting skill she possessed, she composed her face into an expressionless mask and fixed him with what she hoped was a reasonable facsimile of her famous glare.

Vera's comment had rattled Scotty, and he had instinctively glanced toward Lilly to catch her reaction. She was, of course, staring daggers at him, as he had expected, but he thought he'd caught something in her eyes right before…something he couldn't quite place. He decided to try the "Ha ha, Vera's a big idiot, let's laugh it off," approach, but the Ice Queen stare told him instantly that wouldn't work. Chastened, Scotty dropped the smile and looked away.

"Nah…all work and no play," he lied convincingly, setting his things down on his desk and heading for the coffee maker.

Vera started to say something else, but was cut off by Jeffries and Miller, arriving simultaneously. They welcomed their colleagues back to Philly, Miller offering her heartiest congratulations that they'd survived life in a Red State unscathed, and then Stillman had given them their latest assignments. Lilly could have wept with relief when she was paired with Miller on the first interview of the day, the mother of a high school quarterback found dead at the bottom of the stadium stairs in 1988. She'd woefully underestimated how difficult it would be to remain professional while in the same room with Scotty, and she was grateful for the reprieve. Scotty and Jeffries were headed out together as well, to interview the football coach, a win-at-all-costs type known for his frosty relationship with just about everyone. She managed to avoid looking at Scotty until he departed, after which she exhaled a shaky breath. Turning to Miller with a smile, she grabbed her coat, and the two women left. The job, Lilly sighed with relief. She had never been so happy to have such a soul-sucking job as she was in that moment.

* * *

"So how was it?" Miller asked, as they headed for the parking lot. 

"The trip? The trip was fine," Lilly replied quickly, taking a sip of her coffee. She didn't want to talk about the trip. Kat Miller had a way of picking up on things, and although this was unnerving, Lilly supposed it was far less unnerving than working with Scotty would have been.

The two walked on for a few more steps, then Miller asked point-blank. "No, I mean, _how was it_?"

Lilly froze, her blood turning to ice. "How was what?"

"The sex you so obviously had," Miller replied with a smile. "You meet some mystery cowboy down there in Tennessee?"

How in the hell had Miller figured that out in the ten minutes they'd been together? Lilly started to panic, but the "mystery cowboy" portion of the questioning gave her a small shred of comfort. Okay, she'd had sex. That much was, apparently, obvious, at least to Miller, with her finely honed instincts. But Miller didn't know the most sordid, most humiliating part, and Lilly was only too happy to concede the one point if she could conceal the other one.

Lilly had just composed herself and was preparing to answer when an unbidden image suddenly sprang to mind…_Scotty, the mystery cowboy…tight T-shirt, jeans, boots…_she practically drooled as her heart raced and a faint blush crept into her cheeks. She silently cursed her overactive imagination, and her body's involuntary responses. _Good God, Rush, __what the hell did being back in Tennessee do to you? Get a grip._

"Something like that," she finally managed, with a shaky smile.

Miller had watched with curiosity as various expressions flitted across her colleague's face. "Looks like he took you for quite a ride…was he good?"

Dammit. _Yes, he was good. He was amazing. He was so amazing that I can't stop thinking about it, and I should stop thinking about it, but I'm not sure I really want to, and anyway, it's a moot point because he works here and you know him and he's my partner and now I've seen him naked and I have absolutely no fucking idea how I'm ever going to be professional around him again. So yeah…he was good._

"Yeah," she replied feebly, avoiding her colleague's eyes.

"Good," was all Miller said. To Lilly's utter relief, they walked the rest of the way in silence.

**A/N:** **In case you're curious, Lil's "mystery cowboy" fantasy was inspired by the movie "Flicka," which features frequent droolworthy appearances by Danny Pino in cowboy getup, and a brief, but delectable surprise about halfway through the movie. There's also a plot, I think, involving a girl and a horse. Definitely worth a look if you haven't seen it.**

**Next chapter will be up soon! Thanks for reading and reviewing! **

* * *


	6. Too Cold At Home

**A/N: This was originally the second half of the previous chapter, but I made a last-minute decision to split the two to keep chapter length somewhat consistent. ****It's really more of a Chapter 5b than a full-fledged Chapter 6.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Now that the writers are back at work, we'll have to come to some sort of custody agreement.**

**Chapter Six: Too Cold At Home**

As expected, the reprieve they got was short-lived. That afternoon, Lilly and Scotty had to go out on an interview together, to a cheese steak shop for a visit with a former teammate of the victim. Back in 1988, their subject had been a disgruntled wide receiver who had exchanged words with the quarterback on numerous occasions. Scotty had been both anticipating and dreading this all weekend, and had been quite relieved earlier when they'd been paired up with other detectives. It happened from time to time, not anything regular, but he was damn grateful that it had happened that morning. He and Jeffries had been all business with the football coach, the way it should be between two murder cops staking out a possible suspect, the way it would probably never be with Lilly again, especially if he couldn't stop undressing her with his eyes.

Because that's all he'd been able to do from the moment she'd climbed into his car, so close he could feel the heat radiating off her skin and smell the fragrance of her shampoo. Some kind of flower, maybe. He didn't know. He wasn't good at that sort of thing. But Scotty knew instantly that whenever he smelled that scent in the future, it would be inextricably linked with Lilly. Even though he'd been drunk off his ass when it happened, all the details of their night in Nashville had been indelibly burned into his mind, which insisted on replaying them at every available moment. _This is EXACTLY why __you __do__n't sleep with your partner,_ he reminded himself. If he were intelligent, he'd learn his lesson and stop thinking of ways to make it happen again. He had to stop looking for excuses to touch her, had to stop grazing her fingertips with his whenever he handed her something, had to stop standing so close to her when he opened the door for her that she had no choice but to brush up against him, because that was making him crazy. Just those slight touches sent sparks of electricity throughout his body and seemed to burn his skin wherever it had met hers.

The car ride had been predictably awkward, Scotty's feeble attempts at professional, partnerly chitchat nipped in the bud by Lilly's terse, one-word answers, so he finally gave up and settled for playing the radio too loud and driving too fast. What wasn't predictable, however, was what had happened when they got to the interview. Normally, he and Lilly were a well-oiled machine, volleying portions of the questioning back and forth like champion tennis players. It was one of his favorite parts of working with her, the way they could finish each other's sentences, read each other's thoughts, and, two people working as one, tie someone up in their avoidances and half-truths until they were trapped into spilling whatever they'd held onto for however many years. Not today, though. He and Lilly had missed cues and dropped the baton more times than he cared to count. When the interview was over, they were both rattled, so more loud music and fast driving.

Back in the squad room comparing notes, the first real conversation they'd had had erupted into an argument about the case. Scotty didn't remember who had said what, exactly, or who had started it, but before he knew what was happening they were nearly screaming at one another, and Stillman had been forced to intervene. Properly chastised, Scotty could feel the eyes of the other detectives on him as he stalked back to his desk, pulled out the chair with far more force than necessary, and started filling out paperwork with so much pressure that he broke the tip of his pen. Predictably, Lilly was sitting there, coolly, looking for all the world like someone working a crossword puzzle, except even from his desk he could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest as she tried to collect herself.

And so it went. For a solid week. The longest week of his life. She avoided him when she could, spoke to him only when she had to, argued with him pretty much constantly, and was, uncharacteristically, the first one out of the squad room every night. He could tell by the dark circles under Lilly's eyes that she wasn't sleeping well, and she begged out of First Thursdays for the first time in months. Scotty could tell by the glances his colleagues shot one another that they had all noticed, but, thankfully, so far none of them had said anything to him.

Scotty's heart sank at the realization that his friendship with Lilly was probably over, at least for the time being. And he found that he missed that more than anything. He missed seeing her smile, he missed making her laugh, he missed everything about her. He could tell she'd withdrawn into her shell, and the real Lilly, the one he'd caught glimpses of for four years and had seen in full force in Nashville, was wrapped into a ball and buried somewhere deep inside her. He had no idea where it could be found, or what he might be able to do to make it come out again. He supposed he had blown his only chance.

And so he found himself picking fights with her anytime he could. It was stupid, it was bush-league, and Scotty knew it, but he just couldn't help himself. That was the only time he saw her eyes register any sort of emotion, any flicker of a notion that what they'd shared had affected her as deeply as it had affected him. When they were in mid-argument was the only time he saw a glimpse of the real Lilly Rush. He missed that desperately.

Plus, he'd be a complete liar if he said he didn't miss the sex. He'd taken more cold showers this week than he'd ever had in his life, and, in an attempt to distract himself, had brushed up on his knowledge of sports trivia to the extent that he'd kicked Vera's ass in the trivia game at First Thursdays, something that never, ever happened. Scotty had tried everything he could think of to get his mind out of that hotel room in Nashville, to stop replaying images of a naked Lilly writhing on the bed, screaming in pleasure at his touch, but absolutely nothing had worked. Every cell in his body demanded more of her, and she was making it very clear that it would never happen again. When he wasn't replaying old erotic scenes in his mind or pointlessly dreaming up new ones, he was mentally kicking himself for being so damn stupid.

Scotty hated his life.

* * *

Lilly arrived home and dropped her things at the door, not bothering to pick them up. Who cared whether she made a mess? She was alone. Again. Still. Always. And the cats didn't mind. Olivia sometimes liked to sleep on her overcoat, anyway, so what was the point? 

Peeking in her freezer, Lilly sighed when she realized that, once more, it would be a TV dinner for one. Again. Still. Always. After all, she was pathologically incapable of having and maintaining a relationship, so she needed to get used to that. That whole Lone Wolf Cop theory Scotty had waxed so eloquently about.

Scotty. Just the thought of his name brought the sting of tears to her eyes. After recovering from her initial shock that first morning, she'd enacted her Ice Queen plan. It had worked, to an extent, but she had underestimated how much it would hurt her, how insufferably trapped she'd feel inside her glass box. Lilly had absolutely no idea how much Scotty had meant to her until she didn't have him anymore. And the really sad part was, she knew it was entirely her own fault. The first day back, he'd tried to be friendly, Lord knew he'd tried, and she'd shut down his every effort with her dagger stare. The expression in his eyes was wounded at first, and she'd had to look away. Scotty could do puppy dog eyes like nobody's business, and she was completely powerless to resist them. Completely powerless to resist _him_, especially when it seemed like he was almost inventing excuses to touch her. He kept brushing his fingertips against hers, kept standing way too close to her when he opened doors for her, and that did nothing but bring back vivid memories of the very thing she was trying so desperately to forget.

Whether intentionally or not, Scotty was slowly chipping away at the walls of her resolve, and all Lilly could do was watch helplessly. She'd redoubled her efforts, but to no avail, because in her weaker moments, like that time two days ago when they were in the evidence warehouse and she'd felt him looking at her, and she'd had to fight an intense battle with the urge to grab him and throw him up against the wall and kiss him like there was no tomorrow…in her weaker moments, she was forced to admit that he made her feel more…whole, more…complete, somehow. Like part of her had been out wandering around somewhere, and when Scotty was around, it made her feel like that part of her had come back. But when he was gone, that was gone, too. This realization completely terrified her.

After a while, Scotty's wounded puppy dog look had developed an angry edge, and they'd been fighting all the time. The only communication they had, it seemed, had been in the form of flinging hurtful words at one another, sort of like the time she reamed him out about Christina. It had hurt then, and it stung even more now. Scotty had tried, but Lilly had no one to blame for this but herself. _Brilliant, Rush._

Lilly looked down at her freshly microwaved TV dinner for one and suddenly couldn't stand the sight of it. Before she could even think, she flung it against the wall and, though she would never admit this to anyone, she dissolved into tears.

**A/N: Aw,**** Lilly needs a hug.**** Scotty needs to get laid. Writer needs reviews. **


	7. My Strongest Weakness

**A/N: Wow! What an amazing response from the last chapter! I'm so glad you're all enjoying this story!**

**This chapter was actually the first one I wrote. I woke up one morning about a month ago with this scene in my head, and have gradually built the rest of the story around it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, I would probably find Vera and Jeffries easier to write.**

* * *

**Chapter ****Seven****—My Strongest Weakness**

Will Jeffries strolled up to Nick Vera at the coffee maker as Vera poured himself a refill. Glancing across the room toward his colleagues, who were in the beginning stages of yet another disagreement, Jeffries asked casually, "So what's going on with Scotty and Lil?"

Vera took a sip of coffee and glanced around furtively before answering. "No idea." A spark of recollection flickered in his eyes, and he said, with a smirk, "Remember the last time they were like that?"

Jeffries tried to think. "No," he finally said, clearly intrigued.

"Valens was screwin' Lil's sister."

Jeffries rolled his eyes. "I'd almost managed to forget about that. Thanks for the fond memory," he said drily, heading back to his desk.

Vera took another sip of coffee. "Welcome," he replied cheerfully.

* * *

Scotty and Lilly stood beside Lilly's desk, bickering for what seemed like the fourteenth time that day. "The mom knows a lot more than she's letting on," Lilly was saying heatedly, notes from the interview in hand. 

Scotty, who had rolled up his sleeves and started to pace back and forth, replied, "But Randall hated that quarterback. Had a ton of talent, but didn't get thrown to enough, never got noticed by the college scouts, never made the NFL, and got stuck in Fishtown makin' cheese steaks. That's a helluva motive."

"But his alibi checks out; he wasn't there that night," Lilly disagreed, her voice beginning to rise. "Puttin' the heat on the mom could shed some light on what she's not telling us."

"Sure, Lil, makin' a mom who's lost a kid relive every last painful memory, when she's obviously in the clear, yeah, that's the best way to go about it," Scotty retorted bitterly, whirling to face her. "Maybe, before you go through this whole damn case like a bull in a china shop, you should stop for one second and let me have a say in this. This ain't your show, Rush! We're partners. You don't get to call all the shots."

"You just won't admit it when you're dead wrong!" Lilly shot back, eyes blazing.

Their arguing was interrupted by the startlingly loud voice of Lieutenant Stillman. "Rush! Valens! My office! Now." He looked from one to the other, his eyes clear that this was an order.

Lilly sighed in defeat and headed into Stillman's office. Scotty waited for her to pass, then followed.

Stillman had had more than his fill of his bickering subordinates. He ushered the two detectives into his office and shut the door, possibly with more force than necessary, before he turned and addressed Scotty and Lilly. "Okay, you two. Out with it. What's going on?"

Lilly feigned innocence while Scotty's mouth went dry and he fumbled for words. Finally, he managed to form a semi-coherent, "Come again, Boss?"

"I don't know what's going on with the two of you, and I'm not sure I wanna know. But when it starts affecting your work, I step in. Whatever it is, you need to hash it out, here and now," Stillman said sternly.

Stealing a glance at his partner, Scotty saw Lilly turn even paler than normal, while he felt a faint blush creep into his own cheeks. "Ain't nothin' the matter, Boss," he muttered feebly. _Way to go, Valens. __Real convincing._

"Bullshit, Scotty," Stillman retorted. "You two have been fighting like cats and dogs since you got back from Nashville. Now what the hell happened down there?"

"Nothin'," Lilly said evenly, though her heart was pounding so loudly she was sure the boss could hear it from where he stood.

Stillman sighed. "You two need to work this out, and you're going to work it out. Right here. Right now. Do I need to be here, or not?"

Lilly glanced at Scotty, who seemed to have relaxed ever so slightly. She opened her mouth to reply, but he beat her to it. "Maybe it's best if we try it just between us first. That okay, Boss?"

"Sure thing, Scotty. You got thirty minutes. Figure it out," Stillman ordered sternly, shooting them a meaningful glare before exiting his office and closing the door behind him.

As soon as the boss had left the room, Scotty and Lilly glanced briefly at one another before reaching a wordless agreement, their first agreement of any sort back on Pennsylvania soil, to close the office blinds. Lilly quickly moved to close the blinds that directly faced the squad room, managing to avoid the curious eyes of her colleagues, while Scotty got the rest.

With a sigh, he folded his arms across his chest and turned to face his partner. Across the room, Lilly glared daggers in his direction, and he had to go on the defensive immediately. He had no weapon in his arsenal to counter her patented Ice Queen look, and she was fixing him with it right out of the gate. But as she stood there, her sapphire eyes shimmering with anger, Scotty, to his chagrin, once again sensed the familiar burn of lust. Her normally pale cheeks were flushed, and her chest rose and fell as she breathed rapidly through slightly parted lips. He felt a trickle of sweat meander down his back. God, the things he would do to her right here and now.

Finally, the frustration, anger, and hurt of the past week boiled over, and the last remaining thread of Scotty's patience snapped, almost audibly, as he lashed out. "Goddammit, Lil, enough with the fuckin' Ice Queen. Are we ever gonna talk about what happened?"

"What's there to talk about?" Lilly shot back.

"I get it, all right? What happened in Nashville stays in Nashville; you're sendin' that message loud and clear," Scotty pounded Stillman's desk for emphasis.

Lilly flung her arms wide. "Okay, fine. You wanna talk about it? Let's talk. It was a horrible, unbelievably stupid mistake, the worst we've ever made. There! We talked!"

"No, we didn't!" Scotty shouted. "You wanna ignore it, you wanna drop it, but you ain't. I've been gettin' daggers since we got back. There were two of us there that night, you know," he flung bitterly.

She merely ignored him, refused to meet his eyes, and that made his blood boil even more than if she'd called him every name in the book. "Dammit, Lil!" he roared. "You wanna act like what happened didn't happen, that it didn't change anything, but…it changed everything, and I don't know how to go back to the way it was!"

Lilly glowered in his direction, careful to avoid his eyes. "What we did was so…so…mind-bogglingly _stupid_, that I don't think we _can _go back," she spat.

Scotty took a deep breath and struggled to speak. "Well, maybe that's our problem, Lil," he finally said in a defeated tone, his voice a mere shadow of what it had been.

Lilly finally allowed herself to meet Scotty's gaze. In a split second, she wished she hadn't, because the glittering intensity in his eyes and the strength that radiated from him as he stood there made her remember, for the millionth time since they'd returned, why she'd slept with him in the first place. She felt the last shaky remnants of her resolve crumble to the ground. _Dammit, Rush._

Scotty continued, the words tumbling out in fits and starts. "I dunno 'bout you, but every time we're together, every time I'm even close to you, it's…it's like…lightnin'…or somethin'," he finished lamely. _Smooth, Valens._"It wasn't like this before…and I know I can't touch you again, that we can't…we--we shouldn't…but that's all I can think about…and it's makin' me crazy, Lil." His voice faltered, and the last words were barely above a whisper. Looking at the floor, he exhaled and raked a shaky hand through his hair.

Oh, God, not the hand through the hair. She was done for. Any resistance she could have offered died right there in Stillman's office, shot through the heart by Scotty's admission. A small sense of what could only be described as girlish glee started to bubble up in her throat.

"Really?" she said, arching a brow, the corners of her mouth lifting toward a slight smile.

"Yeah," Scotty answered, looking up at her in disbelief. She wasn't mocking him. She wasn't denying him. And she wasn't giving him that look. This…this was progress. For the first time since they'd returned to Philadelphia, the tension between them started to melt ever so slightly. He took a step toward Lilly.

She stepped toward him as well, tentatively, and took a deep breath. "Me too…I feel like…I'm…an addict," she began, with a self-conscious smile. "And…I'm tryin' to stay on the wagon…but it's…" she trailed off, shaking her head. As she looked into his eyes, powerless to even try to resist any longer, she felt the mask she'd been hiding behind slip to the floor and shatter into a million pieces.

Surprise, followed quickly by elation, surged through Scotty's veins. That damned Ice Queen routine had just been a ruse. It had all been an act. She didn't hate him…he hadn't screwed things up beyond all possible repair…she wanted him, it seemed, nearly as much as he wanted her. The thought made him almost giddy.

They met in the center of Stillman's office. "Well…" said Scotty, with that trademark flirty grin that made Lilly's heart do a flip every time she saw it, "…maybe we oughta think about fallin' off that wagon." Her pulse raced as he reached for her hand, waited a beat, searched her eyes, then crushed his lips against hers. She moaned softly as their tongues intertwined, and her knees went weak with the flood of passion denied for far too long. Suddenly his hands were everywhere. On her back. Behind her neck. In her hair.

Meanwhile, Scotty's heart hammered inside his chest as he devoured his partner. He thought he'd remembered how sweet Lilly tasted, how wonderful her lips felt against his, but the reality was so much better than his memory, and never had he wanted her more. The room started to spin as her hands cupped the back of his head and he murmured in delight as her fingers threaded through his ebony hair. He knew then and there that if he didn't stop at that moment, that he wouldn't be able to stop. And they couldn't fall off the wagon completely. Not here at work, in their boss's office, for God's sake. With this sobering thought, he forced himself to tear his lips from Lilly's, and gazed into her glittering blue eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, and her breathing was as uneven as his. Slowly, reluctantly, he released her from his arms.

"Good thing we closed the blinds," she said with a smile, and Scotty's heart melted at the sight. God, he would do anything to see that smile more often.

"Lil," he rasped, his voice suddenly unable to work properly. "I think… what happened in Nashville… has found its way to Philly."

"I think so, too," Lilly agreed.

Gaining confidence, Scotty continued. "And I think that…it needs to happen again."

"Well, if it's affecting our work, then…we owe it to ourselves. To the badge," Lilly said with mock seriousness, a twinkle in her eye.

Scotty grinned. "To the badge, and the law itself. Plus, we owe it to those guys out there…they have to work with us."

"And Boss," Lilly added.

"It ain't about us. It's got nothin' to do with us," Scotty finished triumphantly.

"Exactly," Lilly agreed, fixing him with that beautiful smile. She gazed into his eyes, which shone with admiration and pure, unadulterated lust. Her breath caught in her throat as he moved toward her. _Good God, did he mean NOW?_

"But not here," she said quickly, stepping back, though every fiber of her being was crying out for her to let him bend her over Stillman's desk, consequences be damned, and just take her. God, she really was an addict. _Quit acting like a teenager, Rush, _she admonished herself. _You can make it until you get home._

Scotty sighed. Though his instincts were telling him to do far differently, the voice of his conscience, albeit weakened by his recent activities, insisted that he make the responsible choice. "Well, then, I guess we're gonna have to wait 'til tonight," he said, unable to disguise his reluctance.

"Oh, well…your place, or mine?" Lilly asked, still grinning at him.

"Well, I… kinda got a soft spot for mutant cats," Scotty answered, a teasing smile filling his face.

She socked him playfully in the arm. "You better be nice to my cats. Ten o'clock okay?"

He nodded, still grinning, and she smiled up at him one last time before turning and heading out of the office.

Scotty let out a shaky breath, mesmerized by the gentle sway of Lilly's hips as she walked out, and licked his lips in anticipation of the coming evening. Despite the needs that remained unmet, and despite the fact that they had the entire afternoon ahead of them, that kiss, and the promise it contained, would hold him. Maybe. He hoped.

Unmet physical needs aside, though, Scotty was elated. He and Lilly were back to being…well…he and Lilly again. And then some. With a discernible bounce in his step, he started to open the blinds, and noticed Stillman coming back in. "Everything's cool, Boss," Scotty said with a smile.

"Good," Stillman said. "Because while you two have been in here playing Dr. Phil, Nicky's been digging up another couple of witnesses for you." He slapped a file into Scotty's outstretched hand, and Valens strode out of the office.

"Get your coat, Lil. We gotta take a field trip," he called to his partner, as he poked his arms into his suit jacket.

Lilly tossed him a smile, and Scotty felt his knees go weak. It was going to be a very, very long afternoon.

Vera, Jeffries, and Miller all looked up as their colleagues, enemies mere moments ago, now smiled at one another as they left the office. The three detectives exchanged mystified glances.

"What was that all about?" Jeffries inquired of the group.

"Dunno," Miller shrugged, then glanced back toward the doorway with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Well, looks like he ain't doin' her sister," Vera chuckled.

**A/N: I have no idea whether Stillman's office is soundproof on the show, but ****it is in my story****. The other detectives are totally in the dark.**** This could be fun.**


	8. Feels So Right

**A/N: This story is far from over. It's just beginning. In fact, it might end up being kind of ****novelicious****. If this story were a play, Chapter 7 would have ended Act I, and this chapter raises the curtain on Act II.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, decades-old crimes would probably never get solved, because Scotty and Lilly would be…otherwise occupied.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Feels So Right**

The seemingly interminable afternoon had finally come to an end. Scotty and Lilly had interviewed a couple of former cheerleaders, both of whom had dated the murdered quarterback and one of whom had given birth to his son. Though they were now in their forties, the two women still giggled and flirted with the best of them. Once, when Scotty had glanced in Lilly's direction, he'd found her looking back at him as she took notes, her cobalt eyes twinkling with just the barest hint of amusement.

Somehow, some way, he'd made it through the afternoon without jumping her in the car. Lilly had remained the consummate professional, never saying or doing anything that would lead the casual observer to think she and Scotty were anything more than partners. But rather than encourage Scotty to do the same, the professional veneer merely increased his desire for her. Now that he knew what lay beneath the icy façade, the hours until he could unmask Lilly Rush again crawled by at a snail's pace.

When quitting time came, she had tossed her coat over her shoulder and bid a cheery farewell to the few remaining detectives in the squad room. If they'd noticed anything unusual about her behavior, they didn't let on, and Scotty had sighed with relief as he'd gathered up his things and left for the weekend.

Now, it was a few minutes before ten, and Scotty had showered, shaved, and driven over to Lilly's place, much faster than necessary, but he just couldn't help himself. He'd debated bringing flowers or wine, but in the end, had settled on a bottle of tequila. Lilly didn't seem like a wine person, he reasoned, and he also figured flowers were cheesy and over-the-top. Scotty slid the car into a parking space, bounded through the rain and up the steps, and knocked on Lilly's door.

_Dammit…he's early._ Lilly wasn't expecting Scotty to show up quite so soon. She hadn't bothered to put on anything sexy yet, just her yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt, and she'd been so wrapped up in the details of the Thompson case that she hadn't really even looked at the clock in a while. She hastily put down the files she'd been looking at, glanced around the room in a last-second neatness check, and threw the door open to reveal Scotty standing on her step wearing a black leather jacket and holding a bottle of tequila. He grinned broadly when he saw her.

"Hey," Lilly greeted him, returning his smile, and stepped aside so he could walk in. She couldn't remember ever seeing the leather jacket before, and she instinctively licked her lips as she felt a familiar twinge of excitement. He looked pretty damn delicious in that jacket…

Scotty was immediately greeted by Lilly's two cats, who worked as a team to circle his legs, rendering him effectively motionless so they could size him up. Scotty cast a wary glance in their direction.

"They're just saying hi," Lilly explained with a smile. She took the tequila from him and went into the kitchen to retrieve a couple of glasses. Once there, she suddenly realized that her heart was racing, and not just with desire…it was also with a decent-sized dollop of fear. Oh, sure, she'd fantasized about being with Scotty again almost nonstop since they got back from Nashville, but now, he was in her apartment, and that made it suddenly, uncomfortably real. Scotty had been to her place before, once or twice, but always for professional reasons, and he'd never stayed for more than a few minutes. But now, here he was, right there in her living room, definitely planning to stay for more than a few minutes, and, she realized with a hint of amusement, for a decidedly _un_professional reason.

Lilly sighed shakily. Impulsively, drunkenly sleeping with Scotty in Nashville was one thing, but sleeping with him deliberately, intentionally, back in Philadelphia…well…that was something else altogether. Doing this now, on purpose, planned out…that cemented that things between them were going to be different from now on. Not that they weren't different already. Reaching up into the cabinet to grab the glasses, Lilly realized that she wasn't sure whether things would be _good_ different or _bad_ different. Knowing her history, and his, for that matter, bad different seemed like the more likely outcome, and that thought was terrifying. She couldn't bear to lose her friendship with Scotty, now that she knew how much he meant to her.

At the same time, though, she couldn't deny the fire that blazed between the two of them. She couldn't deny how Scotty made her feel, how he made her blood sing through her veins when he was near her, how the merest glance from his coffee-colored eyes was enough to make her knees weak, how the slightest touch sent sparks of desire shooting throughout her body. She didn't want having sex with him again to interfere with their friendship, but it was clear that _no__t _having sex with him was already interfering with it. She had no choice but to take a few more bricks out of her carefully constructed walls, to leap, to have faith, to take a risk. She wanted to. Oh, Lord, did she want to. But it was scaring the crap out of her.

Back in the living room, Scotty was waiting for Lilly to return with the tequila and being eyed suspiciously by the cats. _Just saying hi, my ass,_ he thought, as he regarded them uneasily. He'd been around the block enough times that he knew when he was being sized up by anyone, human or otherwise, and these cats were doing just that. The look in their eyes was giving him the creeps, and he distracted himself by glancing around Lilly's apartment. He'd been there a couple of times before, but never really as a guest, and the idea that Lilly was letting him into her private world gave him a secret thrill.

He was starting to examine her movie collection when he heard a crash from the kitchen, followed by a soft curse from Lilly. "You okay in there, Lil?" he asked, heading toward the kitchen. He found a barefoot Lilly surrounded by broken glass, a blush creeping into her cheeks. Quickly, he ordered her not to move and began looking for a broom.

"It's…uh…it's…over by the fridge," she managed, with a shaky smile.

"You okay?" Scotty asked again, looking deep into her eyes.

"Yeah," Lilly waved her hand as if to brush off his concern. "Just a little…well….nervous, I guess." She let out a short chuckle. "It's stupid…"

Scotty shrugged out of his jacket, laid it on the counter, and stooped to sweep up the shards of glass. "Well, I'd be lyin' if I said I ain't a little bit, too," he replied, looking up at her with what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Yeah?" she replied, the tension in her face seeming to ease slightly.

"Well, yeah…I mean…before, it was…well…we were drunk off our asses, and on the road, and…we weren't…here," he faltered, as he crossed the kitchen with a dustpan full of glass. "But here, well…that makes it…real." He disposed of the broken glass, replaced the broom and dustpan, and turned to face Lilly.

"Exactly," she sighed, relieved somewhat just by the fact that he understood. She grabbed a rag and started to mop up the tiny glass shards on the counter. "Here…it just seems…weird…somehow. Which is stupid, because it's all I've wanted, all I've been able to think about, but now that we're here, it's…"she trailed off, looking at him, seeking an answer.

"Yeah, I get that," Scotty replied, before an unwelcome thought occurred to him. "Wait…you havin' second thoughts? 'Cause…I mean…it's okay if you are." His libido vehemently disagreed, but Scotty ordered it into submission.

Lilly hesitated. Was she? She felt like she was strapped into a roller coaster that had crested the top of that first giant hill and was about careen over the top into a freefall. The opportunity for taking the chicken exit was long gone. Looking at him, feeling sparks of electricity shoot through her body, Lilly knew that there was no turning back now.

"No…" she answered softly, hoping he didn't notice the slight quaver in her voice.

Scotty let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Lilly's slender waist. "I don't know how this is gonna turn out, Lil. We could get hurt…it could screw everything up. I've thought of all that. But the one thing I can't get out of my head is…well…how…_right _this feels. This. Here. With you."

"Me too," Lilly replied, gazing up at him. Something about way Scotty caressed her with those warm, dark eyes eased her fears and gave her a small ray of hope. Maybe, just maybe, the risk would be worth it.

"We're friends, ain't we, Lil?" Scotty asked with a teasing grin.

"Of course," she answered.

"Well, then we'll get through this together. Whatever happens. I promise." he assured her, seeking her sapphire eyes.

She met his gaze and smiled, then shyly twined her hands around his neck and sought his lips. The second her lips met his, all doubts were turned to ash in the heat of desire, and she kissed him more fervently with a soft whimper of delight.

The need for Lilly that had simmered inside Scotty for a week boiled over the moment their lips touched, and he kissed her hungrily, greedily, knowing that it would never be enough. It was with great effort that he tore his lips from hers long enough to sweep her into his arms and carry her toward the stairs. Lilly yelped in surprise, then bubbled over with laughter when she realized what he was doing. Her laughter only increased when Scotty called a cheerful good night to the cats.

* * *

The stairway to Lilly's bedroom was short, but to Scotty, it seemed to take years to climb those steps. He closed the door with his foot as he carried her to the bed, deposited her on it while kicking off his shoes, then proceeded to almost rip his clothing from his body. Watching him hastily unbutton his shirt and shrug out of it, Lilly commented with a lopsided grin, "Well, you sure don't waste any time." 

"You kiddin' me? I've wasted a whole goddamn week," he growled, wriggling out of his T-shirt and throwing it behind him. Lilly's face froze mid-grin, and her eyes widened as she watched his muscles ripple, as she took in his sculpted bronze chest, lightly furred with soft tufts of raven hair that tapered to a thin line down the taut, muscular ridges of his abdomen. Lilly was speechless. She'd known Scotty looked good when she was drunk, but he looked even better when she was sober. Her unabashed gaze moved lower and fell onto the proof of his desire, straining against the fabric of his jeans, and she tried to wrap what was left of her mind around the fact that Scotty wanted her. _Her._ She couldn't believe it.

Too busy fumbling with his belt buckle to notice Lilly's brazen perusal, Scotty dropped his jeans and boxers, quickly rolled on a condom, and climbed into bed with her. "A whole goddamn week without any of this…" he kissed her lips. "Or this…" he nibbled her earlobe. "Or this…." He nipped at her neck, causing peals of laughter to ring from her throat.

"Impatient man…" she teased, though she knew she wouldn't be able to hold out much longer than he seemed to be. She lifted her arms over her head in a wordless invitation for him to remove her shirt, which he did without hesitation, flinging it onto the floor. "Christ, Lil," he breathed, when he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. His lust now in overdrive, Scotty plunged his head downward, kissing Lilly's neck, her chest, and finally the valley between her breasts, thrilled by the way she gasped and moaned, by the way she twitched with pleasure, by the way her fingers raked through his hair. His tongue dipped and swirled while his lips blazed a fiery trail over her breastbone, and his heart pounded as a week's worth of seemingly futile, deprivation-fueled fantasies suddenly became a blissful reality.

So engrossed was he in tasting every delectable inch of her that he didn't notice that she had somehow kicked off her cotton pants and wrapped her legs around him. He grunted in surprise when Lilly flipped them over and straddled him, then gasped with delight as she slowly lowered herself onto him. Scotty moved his hands over Lilly's ivory skin feverishly, wanting to touch her whole body at once, and frustrated that this wasn't possible. He finally settled on her breasts, which, judging from the sounds she was making, was the right choice. Lilly's firm, rounded breasts fit perfectly in the palms of his hands, and he massaged them, toying with her hardened nipples while she moved up and down on him. His heart hammered inside his chest as he gasped for air, the lust and frustration of the past week completely overwhelming him in a flood of desire to the point that he almost couldn't see straight.

Suddenly, she slowed her pace, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of her lips at the strangled cry that escaped his throat. Scotty grabbed at her silken hips and panted his protest. "Lil…please…for the love of God…don't stop…"

She smiled knowingly, and didn't stop, but began instead to swirl her hips in a figure-eight pattern, slowly…tantalizingly…

"Holy mother of God…" he groaned in amazement, gripping her waist. Scotty had never felt anything so wonderful in all his life. As Lilly rocked her hips back and forth, she splayed her hands across the slick skin of his chest. When he murmured breathless endearments to her in Spanish, the fire within her turned into a raging inferno, and she lowered herself down to kiss his lips. They kissed wantonly, seeking, probing, tasting, touching, their desire growing with every second.

When the need became nearly unbearable, Lilly raised herself up again and began to move on top of him, gradually faster and faster. Scotty's hands found their way up to her center, and he scraped his thumb over her sensitive bud, causing her to cry out in pleasure. Sweat glistened on her forehead as she leaned back, allowing Scotty to roam his left hand feverishly over her body while he ravaged her center with his right. Lilly's long, silky hair brushed against his legs, and his jaw clenched with the effort of restraint.

Lilly gasped his name as she began her ascent. Breathless moans escaped her mouth, growing louder and louder as she climbed higher, until finally, finally she reached the top of the mountain. Her whole body trembled, and she dug her fingers into his thighs and screamed with delight. Everything disappeared, the room, the bed, everything…everything except that magnificent explosion of pleasure.

Her rhythmic clenching around him and her shrieks of ecstasy drove Scotty to the most intense, most excruciatingly glorious climax he'd ever experienced. Brilliant colors seemed to burst around him, and the room spun as he shouted his release. Lilly collapsed onto his chest and he gathered her into his arms, their heaving breaths the only sound in the room, the two of them too spent to say anything coherent.

When Lilly could move again, she rolled off of him onto her side, smiled, kissed him softly, and gently wiped the sweat from his forehead. Tenderly, Scotty brushed a stray hair behind her ear and murmured, "You're simply amazing, Lilly Rush."

They lay sated and motionless, but within moments, the molten lava of desire surged through Scotty again. Sex with Lilly was intoxicating, addicting, and he simply could not get enough. She returned his kisses with fervor, and three breathless rounds later, they fell fast asleep.

**A/N: Okay, so this was a really long chapter. I thought about splitting it, but Scotty and Lilly were adamant that I keep the sex in this chapter. I think they were getting impatient. :) **

**Next chapter will be up soon. We'll hear more from Lilly's cats.**


	9. Kiss An Angel Good Morning

**A/N: This chapter is pure fluffy goodness . Scotty and Lilly have surprised me with how fluffy they can be, given the chance.**

**Disclaimer: Jerry Bruckheimer owns the characters. Lilly Rush owns the cats. **

* * *

**Chapter Nine—Kiss An Angel Good Morning**

Lilly awoke with a start when Olivia pounced on her midsection, meowing indignantly at the disruption in the usual routine. Wake up, brush, food. That was the way of things. She had no idea why it needed to change just because Lilly had had a late night.

Lilly opened her eyes to find Olivia glaring at her. That cat only had one eye, Lilly mused, but she could pack more firepower into a glare from that one eye than any cat she'd ever seen.

"Morning, Olivia," she cooed, scratching the cat behind the ears. When this was met with another unhappy yowl, Lilly chuckled and reassured Olivia that she wouldn't miss her morning ablutions. Climbing from bed, Lilly winced at the protest of long-unused muscles, and in the process, nearly stepped on Tripod, who took off like a shot down the hallway.

Now almost fully awake, Lilly glanced around the room, looking for some sign of Scotty. She'd known last night was essentially...well…a booty call, and she hadn't expected him to stay, but the discarded pair of jeans and light blue button-down shirt on the floor told her that he was still around. Lilly was pleasantly surprised by this development, and the fact that she found it a _pleasant _surprise… that surprised her even more. A gleam in her eyes, she picked up his shirt, took a second to inhale the wonderful spicy scent she would forever know as Scotty, and then put it on. She was running a brush through her unruly blonde hair when a whiff of something that smelled absolutely delicious wafted into the room, and she suddenly realized she was starving. Curious, she padded her way downstairs, the aroma growing more enticing with each step.

Scotty looked up and smiled at the sound of approaching footsteps. His intention had been to bring Lilly breakfast in bed, but he sure didn't mind getting to see her sooner. He'd woken up an hour earlier with an undeniable craving for the one non-Eggo dish he could make reliably first thing in the morning, his grandmother's Cuban eggs and ham. He'd crept out of bed, embarked on a brief search for his T-shirt and boxers, and cautiously shushed the cats, who had been crouched at Lilly's door, waiting to pounce on the first person who emerged. Blearily making his way downstairs to the kitchen, he'd hoped to God that Lil at least had some coffee. Scotty thought he'd seen a coffee maker in there the night before, but he couldn't be sure. He hadn't exactly been paying much attention to the layout of Lilly's kitchen.

Jackpot! A huge can of instant coffee rewarded his exploration through a couple of her cabinets. He'd started the coffee and then decided to go on what would no doubt be an archaeological dig in Lilly's refrigerator. Scotty hadn't expected to see much, but he hoped that, with any luck at all, she'd have some eggs and a few slices of ham. The eggs were lurking in the back behind some suspicious-looking Chinese takeout containers, and he'd hesitated, but they'd seemed fine when he'd cracked them.

The ham had been easier to find. It was in the drawer in the front and had obviously been opened recently, but he'd be damned if there weren't little pieces torn off of each slice. Still, ham was ham, so he closed the refrigerator, turned around, and nearly jumped out of his skin. Somehow, the cats had crept into the kitchen and silently perched on top of the counter. He froze, heart pounding, as the laser-like glare of three eyes seemed to bore holes right through him.

Holy crap. Scotty had heard of pets resembling their owners, or owners resembling their pets, whichever way the saying went, he didn't remember, but he'd never quite believed it until he looked into the eyes of Lilly's cats. That was the most perfect feline rendition of the Ice Queen stare he ever hoped to encounter. The resemblance was uncanny. He wasn't used to being around cats, having had dogs growing up. Cats, he thought, were strange and hard to read, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why these two were glaring daggers at him as he slowly opened the package of ham and removed a couple of slices.

An indignant yowl brought Scotty to the sudden realization that the missing corners of ham and the cats were connected to one another, and undoubtedly also to the little plastic margarine tubs he'd seen on the floor in the corner. He could have smacked himself. _Good God, Valens. It's a miracle they let you be a detective._ Seven legs thumped to the floor and the clicking sounds of feline toenails filled the air as Scotty tore off a few small pieces of ham and deposited them in the plastic tubs. He was rewarded by soft purring, and breathed a sigh of relief. The silent stare had, frankly, been a little unnerving.

Glad the cats were where he could still see them, Scotty had returned to the fridge and poked through the produce drawers, hoping against hope he'd find a tomato or two in there, but found nothing but a couple of carrots and an orange that had begun to grow blue fur. Recoiling, he moved to the cabinets and found an unopened jar of grocery store salsa behind a couple boxes of cereal. It wasn't nearly as good as what he could whip up, given the proper ingredients, but it would have to do, as he didn't think Lilly Rush seemed like the type of person to keep a steady supply of onions, garlic, and chili peppers on hand. Sure enough, a more thorough perusal of her cabinets proved him right. Scotty chuckled softly. Hanging out in Lilly's kitchen was providing him with lots of useful information.

He'd turned on the oven and then commenced the search for some ovenproof bowls. He found a couple of bowls lurking in a cabinet; they didn't match, one was chipped, and he had no idea if they were ovenproof, but they were all he could find. Oh, well. Here's hoping he didn't blow up her kitchen.

After a few sips of coffee, Scotty was awake enough to begin the familiar process, and in no time at all the eggs were out of the oven and beautifully set. He was just adorning each one with a dollop of salsa when he saw Lilly enter the kitchen. Her eyes widened in surprise, and a dazzling smile spread across her face. "You made me breakfast?"

Scotty couldn't his self-satisfied grin as he handed her a bowl and a spoon. "My grandma used to make this for us when we were kids," he said, by way of explanation.

Lilly glanced up at the unexpected morsel she'd just learned about her partner, and in a split second, realized that, although she'd worked alongside him for four years, she knew very little about him. The glimpse into his childhood was like sunshine to her soul.

Reverie aside, Lilly was famished, and she dug into the unfamiliar dish while Scotty poured her a cup of coffee. He nearly spilled the coffee all over his shirt when he heard her delighted moan. "Mmmmm…my God, Scotty…"

He looked up to see her licking a bit of egg off her lips, which of course gave him all sorts of carnal ideas. He couldn't help smiling as he crossed the room to bring her the coffee. "You like that, huh?" he asked, suddenly unable to draw a full breath.

"God, this is delicious," Lilly purred, taking another bite. Scotty's heart began to race, and he realized he'd better hurry up and eat his eggs, because he wasn't sure he was going to make it much longer. The way she was taking such pleasure in her breakfast…

"Do you always cook like this?" she asked around a mouthful of eggs.

"Sorta," he said, with a half-smile. Truth was, he actually kind of enjoyed cooking, wasn't half-bad at it, but most of it just seemed like a waste of time when it was only for one.

Lilly cocked an eyebrow at him, indicating she didn't entirely believe him. "Well, you can make this for me anytime," she said smoothly, taking another bite. She caught him watching her and with a wicked gleam in her eyes, she slowly, deliberately, licked the remainder of her bite off the spoon. Scotty shot her the briefest of warning glances, then pounced. Lilly shrieked with laughter, the empty bowl clattering to the counter.

They didn't even make it out of the kitchen.

* * *

The rest of the day passed for Scotty in a blissfully satisfied blur. They'd spent most of it in bed, alternately making love, bringing each other snacks, and, much to his surprise, just talking. Having missed Lilly on all fronts for a week, spending the day with her felt like a slice of heaven. He idly wondered a time or two if he'd finally cracked, and this was all some gloriously cruel hallucination brought on by too many cold showers. 

Scotty learned more about Lilly in that one delightful Saturday afternoon than he'd known in the entire four years he'd been her partner. She hadn't poured out all her secret pain or anything like that, and Scotty knew that there was still a great deal more that she wasn't telling him, but he treasured every morsel of her story that she cared to impart. He'd already heard about some of the bad times with her mother, but, in a rare, unguarded moment, Lilly had reminisced about some of the good times, too; about the two of them curling up by the fire reading "The Velveteen Rabbit" and having snowball fights in the front yard.

She'd also told him about how she'd found her cats; how she'd gotten tired of living alone and gone to the shelter to find a pet, and seen two cats in a tiny cage off by themselves in a corner, meowing pitifully. Lilly had felt an instant connection to them, and knew they were meant to be hers. Everyone at the shelter had been surprised, she'd said, that someone actually wanted them. Lilly later learned that the cats were scheduled to be destroyed that very afternoon.

She'd named the tabby Olivia, but hadn't yet come up with a name for the white one when Kite met them for the first time. Ever since Kite had jokingly called the cats Tripod and Cyclops, though, the unnamed cat had refused to answer to anything else. Lilly had tried calling her every suitable name she could think of, but her pet, it seemed, had decided to approach her new lease on life with a bizarre sense of humor, one that, in her more reflective moments, Lilly wondered if she wouldn't do well to emulate. She and Scotty had laughed together at that story, Lilly still a little mortified that Tripod would have chosen such an insensitive name for herself, and Scotty finding it unbelievable that cats could choose their own names. He still had his doubts.

Scotty had told stories, too, about playing stickball in the streets of West Kensington with his brother and cousins, and large family gatherings for birthdays and holidays. Lilly's heart warmed at the idea of Scotty as a little boy, and she lifted her head from his shoulder and studied his face, trying to imagine what he might have looked like.

"What?" Scotty asked, as he noticed her perusal.

"Oh, nothin'," she replied shyly. "I was just trying to picture you as a kid. I bet you were adorable."

Scotty smiled ruefully and brushed a stray hair away from Lilly's eyes. "Nah," he replied. "I was goofy-lookin'."

"You? Goofy-lookin'? Never," Lilly said with a grin.

Scotty laughed. "I was," he protested. "I was real scrawny, I kinda had buckteeth for a while, and my hair was a mess. My mom always used to nag me to get it cut, but I was too lazy, and it stuck out everywhere."

Lilly giggled at the image she was able to conjure up.

Scotty turned the tables on her. "Well, what did you look like as a kid?"

Sobering, Lilly was quiet for a while before answering. "Short," she finally replied. "Short, and thin…with freckles. And braces. I was quiet…kinda shy…but I could kick anybody's ass from here to kingdom come, and everyone knew it."

Scotty smiled. Somehow, this didn't surprise him at all.

He didn't know whether it was during this conversation with her, or later, after sex, when she'd dozed off, and he'd lain there, propped up on one elbow, watching her, utterly captivated by how peaceful and beautiful she looked, her golden hair fanned out across the pillow, her cheeks still flushed, and a slight smile turning up the corners of her lips. All Scotty knew was a warm, wonderfully sweet ache in his heart… one that told him he was falling hopelessly, irredeemably in love with Lilly Rush.

* * *

**A/N: I'm not Cuban, nor is any member of my family, or, come to think of it, anyone I really know. The eggs and ham recipe was obtained through Internet research. I was looking for something Cuban, with ingredients someone like Lil would be likely to have, and a cooking process simple enough for a barely-awake Scotty. Apologies if it isn't all that traditional or accurate. I do have the recipe I used for this chapter, if anyone's a geek like me and likes to cook things they read about in stories. **


	10. Not That Different

**A/N: This chapter has made me somewhat nervous, because ****I'm taking a couple of**** liberties. The show has not given Scotty many hobbies or interests other than solving cases, taking a casual approach to boundaries, and sleeping with inappropriate women, so I'm forced to extrapolate. We've also got some big stuff with Lil, which has required lots of digging around in her head. Not an easy task.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, nor do I own the Philadelphia Eagles or the New England Patriots. Owning the Patriots would be wicked awesome, though.**

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Not That Different**

Sunday dawned, and Lilly once again awoke to an empty bed. Well, not entirely empty, as the cats had crept into bed with her, but Scotty's side of the bed was unoccupied. Bereft of his presence, Lilly wondered briefly whether or not he'd left, but the aroma of coffee drifting up the stairs provided sufficient evidence that he hadn't. A bubble of joy rose within her heart when she realized he was still there, and this, frankly, shocked the hell out of her. Clearly, this was no ordinary booty call.

Rising from bed, Lilly glanced at the cats. Tripod was stretched out practically from one end of the bed to the other, belly in the air, soaking up the sunshine that streamed in from the window, and Olivia was curled up in a ball near the warm spot where Lilly's feet had been. Olivia opened her eye a crack and raised her head halfheartedly, but didn't seem to have the energy to beg for attention like she usually did. _Even the cats must need to sleep in occasionally, _Lilly mused, as she slipped into a pair of track pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Once dressed, she wandered down to the living room, where she found Scotty watching television. A football game was on; Lilly vaguely recognized the uniforms of the hometown team, but that was about it. She really had zero knowledge of, or interest in, sports; hadn't even known who Herman Lester was, despite his bona fide basketball legend status in Philadelphia, and, until fairly recently, she'd thought the Sixers played hockey. Still, football was case-related, so she supposed she could stand to learn a thing or two. Impulsively, she sneaked up behind Scotty and planted a lingering kiss on his neck. "Mornin'," she said softly.

"Mornin', beautiful," he replied with a wide smile as he offered her his coffee mug. "Well, actually…afternoon."

Lilly waved a hand as though it didn't matter. "Whatcha watchin'?" she asked, as she took a sip of coffee, then handed it back to him.

"The Eagles," Scotty answered, taking the coffee mug from her with a slightly sheepish grin. "It's sorta my guilty Sunday afternoon pleasure…"

Lilly chuckled slightly, then wandered into the kitchen, poured herself a full cup of coffee, grabbed a box of corn flakes, and returned with them to the living room. Smiling to herself, she placed the mug on the coffee table, took a seat next to Scotty on the couch, and began eating the corn flakes by the handful straight from the box. _So that's why there ain't many bowls around here, _Scotty realized as she inclined the box toward him in a wordless offer to share. With an amused grin, he took a handful from the box. "Breakfast of champions," he remarked.

Sitting there next to him on the sofa, Lilly quickly discovered that "sorta my guilty Sunday afternoon pleasure" meant "all-consuming passion," as Scotty became extremely animated at nearly every play. He tried to explain the basics of the game to her, but kept getting too caught up in the flow of the action on the field to give her anything coherent, so after a while, she gave up trying to understand the particulars and just watched Scotty. He was far more interesting to her than the football game was, anyhow. When the Eagles scored, he jumped to his feet, pumping a fist in triumph and kissing her in celebration. When things didn't go well, Scotty would either offer helpful, profanity-laced advice to the team, the coaches, or the officials, or he would just sit on the sofa, his head buried in his hands. Lilly was highly entertained.

Scotty, meanwhile, was on the edge of his seat. His team was driving, about to score, when all of a sudden, a wobbly pass from the Eagles' quarterback was picked off by a Patriots defender and run in for the game-winning touchdown as time expired. "God_dammit_," Scotty shouted, driving a fist into the center of a throw pillow. He leaped to his feet and launched into an impassioned tirade about what a stupid-assed decision the coach made to have called a draw play at third and twenty, whatever the hell that meant, and forced his team into a do-or-die fourth-down situation. Scotty raked his hands through his hair, then glanced back at Lilly, whose eyes sparkled with barely suppressed laughter.

"What?" he asked, with a lopsided smile.

"Nothing," she grinned. "Just can't believe you get that worked up over a football game."

"Hey," he protested. "I definitely ain't alone in that."

Suddenly, the wheels in Lilly's head started to turn. "Hold that thought," she instructed Scotty before she jumped up and crossed the room to where she had haphazardly placed the Thompson file two nights before. Shuffling through its contents, she quickly found what she was looking for.

"Here," she said, pointing something out to Scotty, who had followed her. "This guy is in every shot."

"Who? The guy with all the face paint and the headgear?" he asked, craning his neck to get a better look.

"Yeah…he's there at every practice, every game, sitting right behind the bench…I wonder…"she mused, the wheels in her head beginning to rotate faster.

Scotty was intrigued. "You think maybe this guy's our doer?" he asked, his detective antennae suddenly pressed into service.

"Well, if he's as into it as it looks like from the pictures, maybe losing the state title game tipped him over the edge," Lilly said excitedly.

"I dunno, Lil, killin' some kid over a high school football game?" Scotty inquired.

Lilly just looked at him and arched a brow in disbelief. "This from the man who just sucker-punched my sofa cushion? People have been killed for far less."

Scotty took the folder from her and glanced through it. "Well, people can get pretty riled up about sports; it ain't too much of a stretch to think that if this guy's whole life revolved around this one team, this one quarterback…I think you're onto somethin', Lil." He returned the file to her, suddenly keenly, painfully aware of how very, very sexy he found Lilly when her brilliant mind was hard at work on a case.

Lilly glanced in Scotty's direction. "You bet your sweet ass I am. Wanna go see if we can track him down?"

Scotty smiled, his libido taking his mind in a far different direction. "You never quit, do you?"

"Never," she replied. Scotty grabbed her then, capturing her lips with his, and after a few seconds, they were up against the wall.

"Well, maybe not _never_…" she replied breathlessly as the file slipped from her hand to the floor.

* * *

That evening, Scotty and Lilly lounged in Lilly's bed, having elected to order in Chinese for dinner. Scotty was famished, and had abandoned the clumsy chopsticks in favor of a fork. Lilly giggled at him when he tossed the chopsticks in the trash. "You always use chopsticks when we're at work," she mused.

"Well, usually when we're at work, I don't have a hot naked blonde robbin' me of all my thinkin' ability," he retorted.

"I'm not naked now," she pointed out.

"You were earlier," Scotty replied, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "And you will be later."

"So sure of yourself," she purred teasingly.

"Call it a hunch," he said, arching a brow. "They did let me be a Homicide detective, after all."

Lilly paused mid-bite, a reflective look crossing her features. "Remember your first day? You were in the interview room with some…floozy…promisin' her a steak dinner."

Scotty arched a brow. "Floozy?"

"Some trashy lookin' blonde," Lilly replied, taking another bite of chicken. "Thought you'd brought your girlfriend to work."

Scotty laughed out loud. "She was an informant," he reminded her.

"Uh-huh," Lilly said, clear by her tone that she still didn't believe him. "You know, the day I met you, I thought you were a cocky, annoying little twerp."

Scotty chuckled. "Yeah?" he answered, finishing off his Kung Pao shrimp. He thought for a minute. "Well, I guess I kinda was," he conceded.

Lilly looked at him incredulously. "Was? You still are."

He tossed her a self-assured grin. "You know you love it. 'Sides, when I met you, I thought you were a real pain in the ass."

"Ah, my reputation preceded me," Lilly chuckled.

"I thought I was gettin' this real hard-ass, no-nonsense kinda guy," Scotty continued.

"Instead, you got a hard-ass, no-nonsense kinda girl," she replied.

"With a heart of gold," he added with a smirk.

Lilly rolled her eyes, then smiled and took another bite of her chicken and snow peas. Scotty dove his fork into her take-out container. "Hey," she scolded, gently rapping his knuckles with her chopsticks.

"I'm still hungry," he complained. "All the calories we been burnin', I'll waste away if I don't eat enough."

Lilly grinned at him and raked her eyes over the sculpted muscles of his shoulders. "Somehow, I doubt that," she said smoothly.

"But it's family style. You're supposed to share," he reminded her pointedly, giving her his puppy dog look, and she relented with a smile and allowed him a bite of her chicken.

_Family style_. Scotty's words echoed in her mind as Lilly looked around the room, a deep sense of contentment stealing over her entire being. She and Scotty were lounging in her bed, the cats curled up in an armchair in the corner, the gentle light of the TV flickering in the dimly lit room. She wasn't even sure what was on; they'd turned the volume down, and the dialogue on whatever show it was they were watching was more of a hum than actual, discernible words. Right there in that moment, as she swatted Scotty's hand away from her takeout container again, she felt, for the first time in a long time, that the universe was exactly as it should be, and all was right with her world. Lilly's brow creased as she tried to remember the last time she'd felt like that.

Scotty interrupted her reverie. "Who's the guy?"

"What guy?" Lilly asked blankly.

"This guy," Scotty said, reaching across her to the snapshot of the victim that leaned awkwardly against the lamp. Lilly's breath caught in her throat. Just when the moment was perfect, too…

_The photos,_ Lilly thought with a sigh. Nobody ever seemed to truly understand this particular quirk of hers. Kite hadn't even tried, and she'd taken to putting the photos away whenever he came over. Ray had never said anything, but she knew that was only because he wasn't around enough to notice, and Joseph…well, Joseph had at least made an attempt to understand her need to keep the pictures by her bed, but the look in his eyes when she wouldn't put them away had told her that he didn't truly, completely get it, either. And now, Scotty was there, reaching across her for that photo…it frightened her to realize how much she hoped that he would understand.

Leaning back onto his side of the bed with the snapshot, Scotty realized that it was a picture of Brady Thompson. He looked up to see just the faintest shadow of insecurity flicker in Lilly's sapphire eyes. If he hadn't known her for so long, he was pretty sure he would have missed it.

"You sleep with their pictures by your bed," he concluded with a smile, tracing the edges of the photo with a fingertip.

She smiled at him. "It helps me remember…. Or makes me a freak," she said, with a slightly nervous laugh.

"Nah, you're not a freak," he said, kissing her forehead softly. "You're just a really, really dedicated homicide detective." He leaned back across her to replace the photo.

"You don't think it's weird?" she grinned, taking another bite of her dinner.

Scotty laughed. "Well, I'd be lyin' if I said it ain't a little strange," he said with a smile, "but mostly, I think it's adorable…and…kinda brilliant," he added, gently brushing the end of her nose with his fingertip. She still had freckles. He'd never noticed that before.

"It doesn't creep you out?" Lilly pressed.

"Well, hell, I dream about 'em sometimes," he admitted. "I'm always kinda glad when I do, 'cause it makes me understand 'em a little more. You get kinda…I dunno…attached to 'em, a little bit, I guess." Lilly's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't known that about him.

Scotty took her free hand in both of his. "It's fine, Lil. All it means is that we care…that we're both damn good detectives, and you don't get that way by makin' it just a part time thing. And that…that's one of my favorite things about you," he added lightly.

"So seeing 'em…in here…doesn't bother you," she concluded, grinning broadly.

Scotty shrugged. "Nah... 'sides, I don't think I'll be noticin' 'em much, 'cause you are pretty damn distractin'." He leaned down and captured her lips with his. His hand stole around the back of her neck and toyed with her flaxen hair as he deepened the kiss, thrilled to his core by the soft whimpering sounds she made. Lilly arched up into him, and he could feel her hardened nipples through the thin fabric of her shirt.

He released her lips and asked softly, "You done with dinner?"

Lilly smiled and relented. "You can have the rest if you're still hungry."

"Oh, I'm hungry, all right," he said smoothly, taking the white cardboard container from her hand and placing it on the nightstand. "But it ain't for food." Joyous laughter bubbled from her mouth as he drove her down into the pillows and devoured her lips once more.

**A/N: Sigh. They have to go back to work eventually. Like, in the next chapter.**

**Oh, and special thanks to ****RichE**** from the "Look Again" board for providing some very helpful video clips.**


	11. No One Needs To Know

**A/N: The long-awaited return to work! I know many of you have been looking forward to this, and I've had a blast writing it, particularly the last scene.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters. It's probably just as well, because I'm not sure my husband would want them living with us.**

* * *

**CHAPTER Eleven: No One Needs To Know**

The insistent buzz of Lilly's alarm clock yanked her from a pleasant sleep, and she opened her eyes to find Scotty hastily stepping into his jeans. "I gotta go home, Lil," he said with a smile. "Didn't think I'd be needin' to pack for a whole weekend."

As Scotty retrieved his T-shirt from the floor and slipped it over his head, realization dawned on Lilly. They had spent the weekend together. _The whole, __entire __weekend_. How in the hell had that happened? How had it not occurred to either of them that he should leave? How had he not cut and run? How had she not kicked him out?

"Yeah," Lilly agreed softly, her blue eyes wide with surprise. Leaning over to pick up his button-down shirt from the corner of the bed, Scotty gave her a quick kiss, told her he'd see her at work, and then was gone. She showered, dressed, and quickly followed.

As she walked into the squad room, Lilly couldn't help smiling. The last time she and Scotty had been here, they'd been in the boss's office, forced to sort things out between them. And sort they had. Many, many times. She sat down at her desk and pulled the case file out of her bag. _Work.__ You have to think about work._

"Mornin', everybody," an uncharacteristically cheerful voice greeted the room. Three detectives looked up to see Scotty smiling unusually broadly for this early in the morning, particularly a Monday.

"Morning," they returned, uncertain how to react to the new, improved Scotty Valens. They didn't notice their blonde colleague suddenly become extremely preoccupied with digging for something in a desk drawer.

"Looks like someone had a good weekend," Miller offered, clearly fishing for more information.

"Sure did," Scotty replied. Lilly's cheeks flamed as Scotty asked about Kat's weekend and got a similarly wordy response.

"How 'bout you, Lil? How was your weekend?" he asked with elaborate casualness as he draped his jacket over the back of his chair. _Good God. He might as well have tattooed the truth on his forehead. _Lilly would definitely have to have a talk with him later. For now, though, she glanced up nonchalantly and said, with a shrug, "I've had better." It took all her efforts not to smile wickedly at her partner.

Stillman walked in just then, and Lilly sighed with relief. "Morning, everybody. How're we doin' on the Thompson case?"

"Stuck," Miller replied. Vera and Jeffries just shook their heads.

"I thought of something," Lilly and Scotty both said at the same time. Their heads snapped up in unison and they glanced at one another, Scotty's dark eyes sparkling with amusement, Lilly shooting him a brief, icy glare before beginning.

"Lots of people get all wrapped up in watching grown men, or teenage boys, for that matter, play a game," she said, avoiding Scotty's eyes. "What if someone took it a few steps too far?" She opened the file and displayed the photos it contained. "Look here. This guy is in every single photo…practices…games…the face paint and headgear make it a little hard to tell in some of them, but it's definitely him."

The other detectives crowded around, and began murmuring in agreement. This could be just the break they needed.

"I got a hunch this nut job prob'ly called Dave and Ronnie," Vera suggested.

"Who are Dave and Ronnie?" Miller asked.

"Sports talk show hosts back in the '80s," Jeffries replied. Looking at Vera, he added, "You certainly called them often enough over the years." Miller rolled her eyes as Vera spread his hands in protest.

Stillman nodded. "Will, you and Nicky go track down these Dave and Ronnie characters," he suggested.

Jeffries grabbed his coat. "Ten bucks says they recognize your voice," he said to Vera with a smile as the two headed for the door.

"Scotty, what was your thought?" Stillman turned to face him.

"Nothin'," he replied with a grin. "We'll go start talkin' to some more of the parents, see if anybody knows this guy."

"Good work, Lil," Stillman congratulated her, as she grabbed her coat. "You get inspired this weekend?"

"You might say that," she answered, smiling slightly, as she and Scotty headed out of the office.

* * *

Scotty grinned mischievously as he ducked inside the car. "You've had better weekends, huh?" 

Scolding him with a smile as she fastened her seat belt, Lilly turned to face him. "You have _got _to be less obvious. God, Scotty, you practically had a neon sign above your head telling everyone you got laid."

Scotty's grin faded slightly. "Yeah, maybe," he conceded, "but I didn't say who with, now, did I?"

"No, but…" Lilly began weakly.

"Look, if any of 'em ask, all I'm gonna say is that she's totally gorgeous and way outta my league," he continued. "I ain't one to kiss and tell."

"No," she retorted, "you're one to kiss and then come in on Monday grinning like an idiot."

Scotty laughed as he fastened his seat belt and slipped his travel mug of coffee into the cup holder, then changed the subject. "So when, exactly, have you had a better weekend?"

Lilly just shrugged and smiled cryptically.

Scotty grinned at her. "Well, since apparently you ain't all that impressed yet, guess I'll just have to try harder. Whaddaya say to goin' out this Saturday; dinner, dancin', all of that?"

Lilly glanced up in alarm. "You mean…like… a date?"

_Crap_. "Yeah, kinda…" Scotty admitted uneasily after a pause, suddenly feeling that, perhaps, asking Lilly out on a date could have been executed with a bit more grace. _Dammit, Valens. Think first, talk second._

Lilly's breath caught in her throat. A date. A real, live, actual date, with dinner and dancing. And Scotty. Out. In public. Away from the bubble of her bedroom. Where people might see. Just when things were going so well, so perfectly, he wanted to push the envelope. The walls started to close in around her.

As he started the car, Scotty read the panic in her eyes. "Come on, Lil, don't flip out. We'll go someplace where nobody from work ever goes. Nobody we know will see us."

"But what if someone does?" she protested fearfully. "Seriously, Scotty. We have to think about our careers here. Let's just keep this under wraps, and then, when it ends, no one will be the wiser, and neither one of us ends up with 'Sordid Affair With Partner' in our file?"

That one word hit Scotty like a ton of bricks. _When _it ends. Not _if_. _When._ She wasn't even giving this…whatever it was…a fighting chance. It seemed she'd already decided it would fail. What the hell was he gonna do about that?

Lilly looked at Scotty, smiling slightly, but the muscles in his jaw had started to twitch, and his eyes had darkened almost to ebony. Not with lust, either. More like….disappointment. Crap. What had she done?

"Scotty?" Lilly pressed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'," Scotty lied, backing the car out of the space a bit more quickly than usual. He couldn't dare tell her how he really felt, how he was slowly but surely beginning to realize that he didn't want it to end…ever. Not when she was freaking out about just a date.

"Look, Lil," he began, pulling out of the lot. "I know we're partners, I know we ain't supposed to be doin' this…but this weekend was somethin' else. ..somethin'…amazin'. I don't wanna scare you, but we spent the whole weekend together. Friday night to Monday mornin'. I didn't wanna go home and watch football on my couch, I wanted to stay and watch it on yours. And you didn't kick me out, either…hell, you sat there and watched the whole game with me. Has that _ever _happened to you before?"

Lilly shook her head slowly, heart pounding. She wasn't completely sure where Scotty was going with this, and she silently cursed the fact that her sleuthing skills were complete crap when it came to her personal life.

"Well, me neither, Lil. And I…I don't wanna let stupid, red tape boundaries get in the way of that."

Despite her panic, Lilly had to laugh. "They've never stopped you before," she remarked, arching a brow and glancing in his direction.

Scotty shrugged and tossed her a lopsided grin, wordlessly conceding the point. Her brief chuckle had eased the tension in the car slightly, and served to encourage him.

"So how 'bout this? How 'bout we try a…a date…on Saturday night? 'Cause I think this could actually…you know…_be _somethin'." Scotty's eyes briefly left the road to see if he could gauge Lilly's reaction. "I dunno much, but I know that it ain't never been like this before…at least, not for me." He sneaked another glance.

_Dammit. _Despite her fears, despite the million reasons Lilly could list that going out on a date with Scotty Valens was a bad idea, that…that was his ace in the hole. It hadn't ever been like this before for her, either…not really. A tiny ray of hope had taken root in her heart when Scotty had arrived Friday night, and had done nothing but sparkle just a little bit brighter every minute she spent with him. Lilly knew that that small ray of hope was one shining reason why this…whatever it was with Scotty…might not be the worst idea ever.

"Me neither," she was finally forced to admit, with a shaky sigh. Her heart was racing, and her first instinct was to flee, but she realized with chagrin that they were trapped in a moving car. _Damn him. He thought of everything._

_Oh, thank God. _Scotty smiled with relief and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Well, okay then," he said, trying to sound casual. "Saturday it is. Wear somethin' pretty." _You really dodged a bullet there, Valens._

In spite of her lingering fear, Lilly couldn't help but smile. A date. She was going out on a real date. With _Scotty, _of all people. When was the last time she'd even been out on a real date? She couldn't remember. Lilly glanced over at Scotty again, and found herself mesmerized by him, by the seamless blend of boyish charm and manly strength in his features, by the way his strong hands expertly steered the car, by the faint whiff of his cologne, and suddenly she couldn't remember much of anything except the warm, insistent feel of his lips on hers. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look away, look out the window, _come on Rush,__ you're at work,__ pull it together._

Regaining some control, she said, in her interrogating-a-witness tone, "But…there are rules."

"Rules?" Scotty repeated indignantly, sounding not unlike a six-year-old with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Yes," she replied, the slight twinkle in her eyes belying the ice in her voice. "Rules."

"Well, I ain't agreein' to 'em 'til I hear 'em first," he said uncertainly, negotiating a left turn.

"Rule number one: Don't take me out for sushi. I hate sushi. It's not food, it's…it's _bait_," she spat.

Scotty tried unsuccessfully to conceal his laughter. _Sushi?__ Do I look like someone who would take her out for sushi?_

"Rule number two," Lilly continued, ignoring him. "Nobody at work finds out about this. _Any_ of this. If they do, I will deny it until the day I die, and I'm a much better liar than you are, so nobody will believe you. _Ever_."

"Okay," he said, still smiling. "And rule number three?"

"We're staying at your place tonight," she said, with a lascivious grin, as they pulled up to their destination.

* * *

That evening, after stopping at her apartment to spend some quality time with the cats, Lilly arrived at Scotty's place to be greeted by a warm smile and a soft kiss. As Scotty took her coat, she glanced around his living room. She couldn't recall having ever been to his apartment before, and she wasn't quite sure what to expect. It was small. Neat. Simple. Not overly decorated, although there were a few sports-related pictures on the wall and a fake plant or two in the corner. She smiled when she noticed those. At first glance, it had seemed like a typical bachelor pad, but as she absorbed the little details, like the plants and the artwork, she realized that there was more to it than met the eye. _Much like the man who makes this place his home_, she mused. 

Scotty, meanwhile, had been relieved to hear Lilly knock on the door. They hadn't been alone together since their morning interview, and he'd been slightly worried that, after the somewhat boneheaded way he'd asked her for a date, she might freak out again and change her mind about the whole thing. Still, he'd cleaned the place up a bit, shelving his books of sports trivia with cautious optimism, and she'd arrived, just a few minutes after she'd said she would. But once he removed her coat, Scotty stopped thinking about things between them. He had no chance, not when Lilly had finished giving the place the once-over and turned her attentions toward him. He barely had a chance to hang her coat on the hook before she attacked him; pushing him up against the door and kissing him for all she was worth. He returned her kisses with fervor, devouring her lips and tongue like there was no tomorrow. After a moment, she broke the kiss, and with a wicked gleam in her eyes, said breathlessly, "That's what I wanted to do to you this afternoon in the evidence room."

Equally breathless, Scotty slipped a hand up Lilly's shirt and began to cup a breast through the lace of her bra. "Well, this is what I wanted to do to you this mornin' in the car," he replied. Somehow, he managed to steer them toward the bedroom, where they continued in their quest to make up for lost time.

* * *

At lunch the next day, an exhausted Scotty paid the street vendor for his hot dog and yet another cup of coffee and turned back toward Vera, who had already wolfed down his first dog and was halfway through his second. The two fell into step and started to cross the street.

"What's that, your sixth coffee today?" Vera asked.

"Maybe," Scotty answered with a shrug. He'd lost count. However many he'd had, it still wasn't enough, but he didn't care. Last night had been well worth it.

"An' that ain't your usual latte with nutmeg or whatever girly shit you always drink, either," Vera observed, glancing at his colleague out of the corner of his eye.

Realization dawned on Vera suddenly. "So, who is she?"

"Who?" Scotty replied blankly.

"The chick who's screwin' your brains out, from the looks of it." Vera took another bite of his hot dog, and a glob of mustard squirted out onto his jacket. With a soft epithet, he scrubbed at the spot with a napkin.

Grateful for the distraction, Scotty hesitated for a moment before replying evenly, "No one you know." He quickly took a bite of his lunch.

"Well, that's obvious," Vera chortled. "If I knew her, I'd be the one chuggin' six cups of coffee today."

"Yeah, okay," Scotty said with a chuckle . "You go right on thinkin' that."

Vera ignored him. "So what's she like?" he pressed.

"She's great," Scotty replied honestly. "Hot. Way outta my league."

Vera's eyes flickered with interest. "Brunette? Redhead?"

"Blonde," Scotty couldn't help sharing, then instantly realized what a stupid-assed move that had been. He took a sip of coffee, trying to act casual. _Relax, Valens. There's probably at least half a million blonde women in Philly alone._

"Nice," Vera continued, around the last bite of his hot dog. "She got a sister you could hook me up with?"

Scotty nearly choked on his coffee before replying, with a wry grin, "No. I'm definitely sure of that."

"Damn," said Vera, balling up the foil wrapper and tossing it into a trash can. "Some guys get all the luck."

**A/N: My grammar checker isn't all that fond of Scotty. Practically all his dialogue has some sort of Wavy Line of Displeasure underneath it. Just thought I'd share.**

**Thanks to all of you who read and review! You guys make my day. There's more work stuff coming up soon; I'll have it posted by the end of the week!**


	12. In A Different Light

**A/N: I thought I'd figured out what this chapter would look like, and then Scotty and Lilly grabbed the wheel and took it in a completely different direction. I'd expect nothing less from them.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Any of these characters. The character of Billy Garrison is inspired by someone from Friday Night Lights. Just to be safe, I don't own that, either.**

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**Chapter Twelve: In a Different Light**

Scotty and Lilly began the next day with an interview with Billy Garrison, local car dealer by day, crazed high school football fan by night. As they headed toward the interview room together, Scotty was practically drooling in anticipation. All signs seemed to be pointing to Garrison as the doer, and Scotty was eager to handcuff that smarmy bastard and show him to his luxury box in lockup. But there was more to this than mere thirst for justice. Working with Lilly had always thrilled him, but even more so now, Scotty realized, as he suddenly remembered making her shower that morning a lot more fun than usual. He tried, with moderate success, to suppress the satisfied smile that threatened to engulf his entire face.

"You wanna be Good Cop today, Scotty?" Lilly asked, all business, as they strode toward the interview room. "Seein' as how you're a football fan and all, you'll probably gain his trust."

"I was just thinkin' that," he agreed, then whispered suggestively, with a wicked grin, "Guess that makes you…Bad Cop." He glanced at her and arched a brow, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Valens," she ordered, shooting him a sidelong glare, though she couldn't quite hide the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. _You too, Rush, _she added silently, banishing her suddenly lascivious thoughts before they could paint themselves on her face in a crimson blush. "We're at work," she admonished them both, then took a deep breath and pushed open the door. Showtime.

Their suspect, sitting unhappily at the table in the center of the room, glanced up when he heard the door open and saw the two detectives stride in. "How long do you think this is gonna take?" he whined. "We're in the middle of the sale of the century down at the dealership."

Lilly rolled her eyes. "You guys have the sale of the century every other weekend," she pointed out unsympathetically.

Garrison switched tactics. "Either one of you folks lookin' for a new ride?" he asked, a commercial smile painting his face. "Getcha a fantastic deal if you get me outta here."

"We're not here to talk cars, Billy," Scotty began, taking a seat across from the suspect. "We're here to talk about football. Catch the Eagles game on Sunday?" he asked casually, as though they were just two guys sipping beer in a sports bar.

Garrison groaned and buried his face in his hands. "I couldn't believe McNabb threw that last pass. So fuckin' stupid."

"Tell me about it," Scotty sympathized. "What kinda dumbass throws a pass into traffic like that? That damn Patriot coulda caught that pass blindfolded."

Garrison agreed, nodding his head vigorously. "And what about Reid, callin' a draw play on third and twenty? Makes no sense!" The vein in his forehead began to pop as he considered the loss.

Scotty pounded the table in mock frustration. "Man, losin'…I just hate losin'."

"Tell me about it," Garrison agreed bitterly. "Somebody oughta teach that damn fool McNabb about not throwin' so many interceptions."

"Is that what happened that night?" Lilly interjected intensely. Garrison jumped slightly and looked up with a startled expression on his face, as though he'd forgotten she was even there. "You take Brady Thompson aside and try to show him a thing or two about interceptions? Because the game was lost on an interception he threw that ended up scorin' a touchdown."

Scotty glanced up at Lilly in surprise, only to find the barest hint of smug satisfaction twinkling in her eyes. _Guess I managed to teach her something about football after all, _he mused, the corners of his mouth lifting in a slight grin. _Focus, Valens._

"Brady Thompson's interception must have had you pretty steamed," Lilly continued, eyeing Garrison fiercely.

"What? No…no…I--I was fine with that. Kids, ya know…" Garrison said uneasily with a nervous chuckle, as beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He glanced over at Scotty, relieved to see what appeared to be a sympathetic look on his face.

Scotty smiled inwardly, and his heart began to race with anticipation. They had this jackass right where they wanted him.

"But Thompson wasn't just a kid," Lilly pressed as she paced back and forth, her voice beginning to rise. "He was your protégé. He was the son you never had. He was living the life you always wanted, the life you dreamed of having, but couldn't. Your team lost the state title game in 1962…the same night you blew your knee out."

Garrison nodded slowly, and Lilly stopped pacing, but didn't let up. Instead, she fixed him with another one of her icy stares. "You never played again, did you?" she asked knowingly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Garrison looked nervously toward Scotty, only to discover that the friendly, sympathetic sparkle he'd seen in the detective's eyes mere moments ago had transformed into a hardened, cynical glare. "No, I--I never did…but…but that don't mean…"

"And then when this cocky son of a bitch comes along, with all the opportunities you never had, and starts blowin' off practices to go hang out with his babymama, when he starts drinkin' and partyin' till all hours of the night, wastin' all that talent…that musta pissed you off," Scotty added, rising from his chair and crossing the table to stand next to Garrison.

"Hell, yeah, it pissed me off," Garrison said, beginning to lose his cool. "I gave that ungrateful bastard a place to live, I gave him a car so he could go to practices, I gave him a job at the dealership…and he repays me by knockin' up that cheerleader bitch and pissin' away the state title!"

"And that was the last straw," Lilly said icily, leaning on the table so she was face-to-face with Garrison. Excitement coursed through her as it always did when she got this close to a confession. He'd taken the bait, now all that was left was for her to slam the trap door shut.

Scotty watched with a surge of pride as Lilly finished Garrison off. "He got lazy, he got indifferent. He took you for granted. He blew you off. He didn't care about you and all you'd done for him. He didn't care about anybody but himself. And that night, once again, he made you a loser," she concluded, in an almost mocking tone.

"I ain't no loser!" Garrison shouted, leaping from his chair, nearly sending it clattering to the floor. "I won that night!"

Hook, line, and sinker. Scotty and Lilly exchanged a satisfied glance as Garrison looked from one detective to the other, realizing that it was too late, he'd said too much, that there was no way out of it now. Sighing in resignation, he sank back into his seat and began to confess. He told them how he'd found Thompson cheating on his son's mother in the press box with another cheerleader, how he'd chased her off, how he and Thompson had fought, screaming at each other until finally, in a fit of rage, he'd shoved the quarterback down the stadium stairs to his death. Lilly wrote out Garrison's confession on a yellow legal pad as he talked, and once he'd signed it, Scotty slapped the handcuffs on Garrison's wrists, escorted him through the squad room, and turned him over to the uniforms for processing.

Elation surged through Scotty's veins as he helped Lilly carry the evidence boxes back down to the warehouse. Getting a confession was always a high, but working together with Lilly, in their new, improved relationship…well, that was even better than he could have possibly imagined. He had no idea why anybody'd ever do drugs. Scotty glanced over at his partner and was rewarded with a dazzling smile. "That was fun," she said lightly.

"We make a great team," Scotty replied with a grin. In their final responsibility to Brady Thompson, they each took a black permanent marker and wrote "CLOSED" on the lid of a box. One more case solved, one less murdering scumbag out on the streets. Scotty knew that the satisfaction he saw radiating from Lilly's face would be mirrored in his own expression. When she'd replaced the cap on the marker and turned to face him, when he saw the joy sparkling in her eyes and that beautiful smile spreading across her face, he felt a wave of love wash over him, making him almost giddy. Before Scotty could stop himself, he'd closed the gap between them, wrapped his arms around Lilly's waist, and captured her lips in a smoldering kiss. Lilly was startled at first, but she quickly yielded to his advances, returning his passion with equal measure. His hands slowly worked their way from her waist to her shoulders, then slipped higher to caress the back of her neck. She moaned softly as the kiss deepened and the world started to disappear...

Reluctantly, they broke apart, far sooner than either of them wanted to, but knowing that there was no way in hell anything they were currently doing qualified as appropriate office behavior. Scotty brushed a wayward lock of blonde hair behind Lilly's ear, gazed tenderly into her sapphire eyes for a moment, and then released her. She stepped back, smiling self-consciously, smoothing her hair with a shaky hand and trying to regain her bearings. "Well, that was…different…" she finally said.

"I kinda liked it," Scotty replied with a grin.

"Me too," Lilly agreed softly, then suddenly got a faraway look in her eyes and seemed to fixate onsomething over his left shoulder. Scotty's blood ran cold as he was visited by a sudden, unwelcome sense of déjà vu.

"You okay, Lil?" he questioned. When she didn't answer, he turned to see what she was staring at, and saw nothing but row upon row of white cardboard boxes, each representing all that remained of a life cut short.

"Lil?" he repeated a little louder, heart racing. He was really starting to get the creeps. Last time someone had looked at something over his shoulder, she'd said something about giants, and it was the beginning of the end. His rational mind knew that Lilly was fine, that there were probably thousands of perfectly reasonable explanations why she was staring at something invisible, but his rational mind was barely treading water in a rising flood of panic.

"It's nothing," she finally answered, blushing slightly.

"You were lookin' at somethin'," Scotty pressed, not sure he even wanted to know what she'd seen.

"Really, Scotty, it's fine," Lilly insisted as she started to walk away.

"Lil, you're...kinda scarin' me," Scotty confessed softly.

Something in his tone burst through Lilly's bubble of self-preservation. She looked into Scotty's dark eyes and saw that the tender warmth of mere moments ago had been quickly replaced by barely concealed fear. The color had drained from his face, and his breathing was rapid and shallow. Oh, God. What had she done? Surely he didn't think…crap. He did.

What she'd seen was an image of Brady Thompson at the end of the row, wearing his letter jacket and tossing a football to himself, thanking her with his eyes for finally bringing his killer to justice. It had unnerved Lilly a little the first few times she'd seen a victim. In time, however, she'd come to accept it as a normal part of the job. Still, though, she'd never told anyone about it, but now, seeing the tortured look in Scotty's eyes, she realized she was going to have to tell him, because he thought she was seeing things…the way Elisa had seen things. Crap.

Taking a deep breath, Lilly began. "It's not…that, Scotty. It's not…like Elisa. I'm _fine,_" she reassured him. "But sometimes, after a case, I…I see…the victim. Maybe it's 'cause I sleep with their pictures by my bed or something, I don't know, or maybe I really am nuts, but…I see 'em. Sometimes it's here, sometimes it's on the street, sometimes it's when I go back to the scene…it's just for a minute… and then they disappear." She sighed shakily and glanced up with a self-conscious smile.

Scotty's panicked expression changed to something she couldn't quite read. "You…see 'em?" he parroted.

"I'm not nuts," Lilly insisted, although the way Scotty was looking at her didn't give her much confidence that he believed her.

"So sometimes you just look up, and they're just…standin' there? Almost like they're…thankin' you? Or somethin'?"

"Yeah." She laughed nervously.

"Oh," he said, realization dawning on him. _"Oh_…"he repeated, laughing this time, the relief flooding his features. "Well, that…that's nothin'. Sometimes…I see 'em, too," he confessed with a smile.

Lilly glanced up at him in surprise. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Scotty replied. "Not all the time, but…remember when we worked the Vizcaino job? I saw him…and Ana Castilla… after we solved her case. Kinda weird, huh?"

"Maybe not," Lilly mused. "Those cases meant a lot to you."

"Yeah," Scotty agreed simply, the rapid release of tension making him feel slightly shaky.

"Guess you're just better at separating your job from your life than I am," she continued, with a slight smile.

"Or maybe it's 'cause I don't sleep with their pictures by my bed," Scotty teased. He ducked as Lilly playfully swatted him, then put his arm around her shoulders and leaned in for a quick kiss on her cheek.

"I'm sorry I scared you," she said, looking up at him, glad to see the old sparkle returning.

"Nah, it's fine," Scotty answered with a smile. "Just a little paranoid, that's all."

"I see dead people, and you're paranoid," Lilly grinned, as they headed back toward the office. "We do make quite the team."

**A/N: True story: As I was putting the finishing touches on this chapter, one of the news headlines on my home page read "Suspect Charged in Killing of Young Football Star."**

**I have important Real Life things again next week, so I probably won't be able to post until next weekend. Hopefully this will hold you.**


	13. Red High Heels

**A/N: Surprise! I had more time than I thought, so I can post the next chapter ahead of schedule! Please let me know what you think, as we're venturing further into uncharted territory.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I really wish I did. I don't.**

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**Chapter Thirteen: Red High Heels**

Lilly was just putting the finishing touches on her makeup when she heard an enthusiastic knock on her door. Her heart leaped into her throat. _He's early. Again_. Despite her nerves, she couldn't help smiling.

"It's open," she called. "I'll be down in a minute."

With a deep breath, Scotty pushed the door open and walked in, trying to calm his own nerves. He hadn't been this antsy about a date since…well…since he'd taken Elisa to their junior prom. He'd been just a kid of sixteen then, still gangly, and he hadn't yet discovered the innumerable advantages of a shorter haircut. Even now, he could vividly remember how he felt that balmy April night, pacing nervously around her living room, heart pounding, clutching the corsage his mom had helped him pick out, trying not to be intimidated by the looks Elisa's father had been giving him, waiting for Elisa to finish getting ready so they could get the hell out of there, yet fully aware that more nerve-wracking moments would follow the minute they were alone. _The more things change, the more they stay the same, _Scotty thought with a wry smile, as he caught himself pacing nervously around Lilly's living room, heart pounding, clutching the bouquet he'd picked out, trying not to be intimidated by the look the cats were giving him. They sat on their perches like sentinels, informing him with their eyes that if they could talk, they'd be grilling him about his intentions and giving him firm instructions to have Lilly home by midnight. Scotty glanced up at them suspiciously, and jumped when Olivia shifted on her perch slightly and fixed him with her version of the Ice Queen stare. _Come on, Valens, get a grip. You're a grown man. You're a cop, for God's sake. It's Lil. You've known her for years. They're just cats. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be…._

Scotty's train of thought was derailed at the sound of high heels clicking their way down the stairs. The frantic beating of his heart became a roar in his ears as he looked up to see Lilly standing there at the bottom of the steps, looking more gorgeous than he'd ever seen her. She was wearing red. He'd never seen her wear red before. Mostly just variations on the black, white, and gray theme, with a little blue thrown in for good measure. Red. Wow. She looked really good in red.

And her legs. _My God_. They went on for miles, those legs, ending in red heels that only made them seem longer and more luscious. Scotty continued to move his eyes up and down her body, his lips parting slightly and his loins stirring to life at the way that silky red dress hugged her lithe figure, at the way the gentle swells of her breasts crested ever so slightly over the top of the teasingly low neckline, at the way the bright color contrasted with her porcelain skin, at the delicate little necklace she wore that accentuated her collarbones. 

Earrings. Lil was wearing earrings. Beautiful little earrings that hung gracefully from her earlobes and sparkled when the light hit them just right. Scotty couldn't remember if he'd ever seen her wear earrings before. Her golden hair was piled on top of her head, still a little haphazardly, but neater than usual, and her sapphire eyes sparkled with anticipation and just a little uncertainty, all while she fixed him with that thousand-watt smile.

_Say something, dammit,_ Lilly ordered him inwardly. But she couldn't much blame him, because she hadn't said anything yet,either. After Scotty's instruction to wear something pretty, she'd done him one better and gotten all dolled up, something she never, ever, did, just to see his reaction, but she couldn't gauge it, couldn't do anything but just stare at him. The black and gold striped dress shirt he wore accentuated his dark good looks and made his eyes smolder all the more, made his smile that much more dazzling. And…_holy crap… _he wasn't wearing a tie, and had undone the top couple buttons of the collar, giving her just enough of a glimpse of his chest to make the desire course through her veins almost instantly. Her eyes, seemingly of their own accord, traveled over his entire body, taking in everything from his long legs to the broad sweep of his shoulders. _Good God, _Lilly thought. _How in the hell did I manage to resist this man for four entire years?_

Suddenly she noticed the flowers. _Oh, my God, he brought me flowers?_ Lilly was touched. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had brought her flowers.

Scotty found his voice first, though it sounded strange to his ears. "Wow," he managed to say. "Just…wow." He couldn't move. He couldn't blink. He could barely even breathe.

Startled from her reverie, Lilly glanced up at him with a suddenly shy smile. "You like it?" 

Scotty managed to regain some of his composure and grinned broadly. "Hell, yeah. You sure you wanna go out tonight?" he asked, arching his brows suggestively.

_No. I could happily order in Chinese and spend the entire evening ravaging you on the couch,_ her inner voice replied. Outwardly, though, she glared at him in mock indignation. "You promised me a date, Valens," she reminded him, hands on her hips. 

"You're right," Scotty agreed with a sigh, the disappointment in his voice only slightly real.

"And you brought me flowers! You're off to a great start," Lilly continued as she glided toward him.

Scotty looked at her blankly. _Flowers? What flowers? Oh..yeah…these flowers. _He thrust them in her direction, unable to tear his eyes away from her, and mentally kicked himself for his lack of grace. "Yeah…flowers." _Casanova's got nothin' on you tonight, Valens._

Lilly gently took the flowers from his outstretched hand and buried her face in them, inhaling the heady scent of roses. _Roses._ She literally could not remember the last time anyone had brought her roses. There were a half-dozen of them, and they were an unusual variety: yellow, with a brilliant kiss of red at the tips. They were beautiful. She stared at them, utterly captivated.

"You like 'em?" Scotty asked hopefully. She glanced up and gave him another brilliant smile. "I love them," she answered. 

"Good," Scotty sighed, with more relief than he cared to let on. _Good God, Valens, get it together. Act like you've done this before._

"They're so beautiful," Lilly added dreamily as she turned toward the kitchen to find a vase. Instinctively, Scotty cast a wary glance in the direction of Tripod and Olivia, who, if he wasn't mistaken, seemed to have relaxed their stance slightly.

"They're just cats, Scotty," Lilly said, without turning around. Scotty could hear a trace of laughter in her voice. "Olivia likes it if you scratch her under the chin." 

After considering his options for a minute, Scotty bent down and tentatively began to caress the cat. He was rewarded with a loud purr, and breathed another sigh of relief. This strange, one-eyed cat didn't hate him after all. He couldn't believe that, moments before, he had actually been afraid of this creature, this creature who now had practically melted down onto her perch and closed her eyes in bliss, purring like she had an outboard motor installed somewhere. _Well, whaddaya know? Pets really do resemble their owners, _Scotty mused, a smile of satisfaction creeping across his face.

Truth slammed into him like a truck. Lil hadn't just chosen these cats because she felt sorry for them. Oh, no. She'd been drawn to them because she saw herself in them. Broken, damaged, unwanted, unloved. These cats, with their missing eyes and not enough limbs…they were how Lilly Rush saw herself. The force of this realization took Scotty's breath away. 

In the kitchen, Lilly was filling a vase with water and taking a few deep breaths to try and calm herself, as both anxiety and anticipation coursed through her veins. A date. With Scotty. She had agreed to a date. She wasn't going to panic. She wasn't going to run away. _You can do this, Rush. _She had to force herself to overcome her issues eventually, and that sweet, gorgeous man in her living room was a pretty powerful motivation. Feeling a little calmer, she turned off the faucet, picked up the vase and brought it to the living room to put it on the coffee table. What she saw in the living room, though, stopped her dead in her tracks: Scotty, kneeling down, petting Olivia with one hand and Tripod with the other, a faraway look in his eyes as both cats purred ecstatically. The sight melted her heart. 

"I didn't think you liked cats," she said in amazement. 

"Never said that," Scotty replied, returning to his feet. "Just don't understand 'em, is all."

"They're pretty simple, really. All they need is to be loved and cared for," Lilly explained.

There it was. The ultimate reminder that Lilly Rush was no ordinary woman, that despite her tough attitude, her heart was fragile, and that he had better as hell not screw this up like he somehow managed to do with everything else in his life. Scotty took a deep breath, wanting to say something, do something, to help her see herself the way he saw her. "Lil?" he asked softly, as she bent down to put the roses on the coffee table.

"Yeah?" she answered, straightening. 

He didn't answer, couldn't find any words to answer, just crossed the room, cupped her face in his hands, and gave her a soft kiss, gentle at first, gradually deepening as she wound her arms around his neck. This wasn't just a lust-filled kiss, she noticed, this one had an earnest quality, an almost heartbreaking softness, a vulnerability that, had she not known him better, she would never have thought that Scotty Valens possessed. It nearly brought tears to her eyes. The two of them separated slowly, not wanting to disturb the gossamer spell that shimmered in the air between them. 

Lilly started to move toward Scotty again, but he stepped back. "One more kiss, and this date's goin' out the window," he said huskily. "I'm already countin' the hours 'til I get you outta that dress."

That was more like it. That was the Scotty she had come to know. That honesty, that vulnerability, that kiss…it all simultaneously melted her heart and scared the crap out of her, and she needed a little time to get used to it. She smiled with a little relief, grabbed her coat, and locked the front door behind her.

* * *

Scotty opened the car door for Lilly, then came around to his side, slid into the driver's seat, and started the car. He pulled away from the curb, too fast as always, and, while his brain frantically rummaged around for something to talk about, his mouth, tired of waiting for further instructions, began, to Scotty's horror, a conversation about the Garrison case. _Oh, real smooth, Valens. Yeah, talk about work. That'll impress her._

But the familiar topic of conversation, the comfortable feeling of being in his car, just like they were out on an interview, instantly put Lilly at ease, and she had to laugh at herself slightly. This was still the Scotty she'd known for four years. Her friend. Her partner. And now, he was…well…definitely more than her friend and partner, and tonight she was on a date with him, but…he was still Scotty. 

Once again, Lilly laughed inwardly. Most of her first dates involved inordinate amounts of tension, awkward, stilted conversation, and setting the alarm on her cell phone, then pretending Stillman was calling from the office so she could have an automatic out if she needed it. She'd used that automatic out more often than she cared to admit. But now, the way the conversation flowed in the car as they drove to the restaurant, the adorable look on his face as he'd given her the flowers, the way he'd responded to her cats…things were different. Decidedly, wonderfully different. As she glanced over at Scotty, who rewarded her glance with his trademark grin, the idea of being on a date with him suddenly didn't scare her quite as much anymore.

Sneaking a look at Lilly, tossing her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, Scotty was mildly amazed that she'd actually gotten in the car with him, and had even insisted on coming on the date. Truth be told, he would have been perfectly happy chucking his plans out the window and ripping her out of that hot red dress the moment he saw her. But the fact that Lilly Rush was sitting here, in his car, out on a date with him, seeming to have relaxed a little bit…that gave him no small degree of encouragement. Maybe, just maybe, she'd be willing to try.

* * *

Dinner was absolutely delicious. True to his word, Scotty had taken her someplace that nobody from work ever went, a cozy little Italian restaurant Lilly had never been to before. She wondered how Scotty had found it, but she never asked, and he didn't share. Instead, they'd begun reminiscing about cases they'd solved together. 

When a familiar-sounding song came over the Muzak, though, Scotty stopped for a minute, trying to place the tune. After a few seconds, he recognized it and began to laugh softly. 

"What?" Lilly asked, uncertainly. She wasn't sure whether he was laughing at what she'd just said, which she hadn't intended to be funny. She looked at him, confusion reflecting from her blue eyes as she took another bite of lasagna.

"This song's from 'Cabaret,'" Scotty chuckled. "Remember that case?"

"Oh, God," Lilly groaned, burying her face in her hands, knowing instantly where Scotty was going with this. Her reaction made him laugh all the more.

"Remember First Thursdays that month, when Vera…serenaded us?'" His eyes sparkled at the memory of Nick Vera belting out "Greased Lightning" for all he was worth, of Lilly's face going even paler than usual as she realized what she was in for, Stillman sitting with his head buried in his hand, Jeffries looking on in stunned amusement and Miller laughing more than he'd seen her laugh before or since. Scotty would have given anything to have captured that moment on video. Muted, of course. 

Lilly groaned louder. "I should have stayed home that night."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't," he said softly, reaching for her hand and gazing into her eyes.

Lilly looked up in surprise. "Why not?" 

A wicked grin spread across Scotty's face. "Because the looks on your face when Vera was singin' were so damn funny." Truth be told, he'd found Vera's vocal stylings every bit as grating as Lilly had, and he was sure he'd made some pretty entertaining faces himself, but the way Lilly winced as though she was literally in pain, well…that still made him chuckle every time he thought of it.

Lilly had to laugh in spite of herself. "I'm glad I was able to amuse you," she said.

"So, tell me somethin', Lil… what is it with you and musicals?" Scotty asked, still grinning.

Lilly said nothing, just gave him a cryptic smile and finished off the last bite of her lasagna.

* * *

**A/N: Editing is good. I originally had Scotty asking Lil if she remembered the end of "Wilkommen," before it occurred to me that these characters probably aren't going to refer to cases by episode titles. Heh.**

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing! I really look forward to and value your thoughts!**


	14. Touch My Heart

**A/N: Again, thanks to all who have read and reviewed! Your encouragement means a lot to me! This is a****nother nerve-wracking chapter, for all parties involved, but all's well that ends well. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Cold Case characters. If I did, Scotty would be a much better dancer. The original character, though…she's mine.**

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**Chapter Fourteen: Touch My Heart**

Scotty and Lilly finished dinner, neither one saving room for dessert, and headed out once again. Scotty navigated the streets expertly, and Lilly, despite growing up in the city and knowing most of it from her police work, was amazed when he guided them to a neighborhood she couldn't recall having been to before. Brick streets were lined with row houses, and a few kids braved the cold to play ball on the sidewalks. When she sneaked a glance at Scotty and saw the almost wistful expression on his face, she knew exactly where they were. 

"Did you grow up here?" she asked.

Scotty smiled at her and answered, "Yeah." He pointed to one of the row houses. "That right there…that's where I grew up." 

Lilly's eyes followed his finger, and she smiled, seeing in her mind's eye a scrawny, messy-haired boy running down the street to catch up with his friends. Her heart warmed at the image.

Scotty glanced over at her. "I'm just takin' the scenic route to the salsa club," he explained.

"You're taking me salsa dancing?" Lilly asked warily, arching a brow. 

"Well, I did kinda suck at country, so I thought I'd show off my real skills," he replied, with his trademark flirty grin.

"But…I've never even been salsa dancing," Lilly protested.

"Turnabout's fair play, Lil," Scotty reminded her, still grinning, mischief sparkling in his eyes. 

Lilly returned his grin, albeit a bit uncertainly. "So you just want to see if I'm as bad at salsa as you are at country," she concluded as they arrived at the club.

He parked the car and leaned over to whisper in her ear, nibbling on it slightly as he did so. "Nope. You're gonna be great. I'm an excellent teacher."

* * *

Scotty's claims to be both an excellent dancer and teacher had proven true. After walking Lilly through the basics, he'd taken her out on the floor, trying to assuage the fear he saw in her eyes with a reassuring smile. "Relax, Lil," he'd said, running his hands up and down her arms softly. "You just gotta stay close, and trust me."

_Stay close and trust him. _Lilly almost laughed…neither was a skill she could call upon readily. But after a couple of songs, she became utterly captivated by watching Scotty, and she forgot to overthink. Only then did she start to relax and have fun. She found herself staring at him helplessly, forgetting to watch her feet, forgetting to panic, forgetting everything except him. The firmness of his muscles beneath her fingertips. The slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. And his eyes…good God, she could drown in those eyes. Warmth flooded her heart, and desire shot like lightning through her veins.

Soon, Lilly found herself breathless, though she had a hard time telling whether it was from the dancing or the company. Scotty was panting slightly as well, though, so they decided to take a break and grab a drink. She continued gazing at him as they headed for the bar. Maybe staying close and trusting wasn't the worst thing in the world…

Suddenly, a woman's voice cut through their reverie. "Scotty Valens?" she said in amazement, and then broke into a torrent of Spanish. Scotty's jaw dropped open in surprise at first, but he quickly recovered and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. 

Lilly was horrified. Scotty had promised her that they wouldn't run into anyone they knew. And yet here was someone who…definitely seemed to know him. She was gorgeous, with dark hair, warm brown eyes, and a sweetly dimpled smile. She looked strangely familiar, but Lilly couldn't place her. Besides, her detective skills were taking quite a beating, so captivated was she by the rippling brook of Spanish that flowed from Scotty's lips. She'd taken some Spanish in high school, but hadn't retained much of anything except odd phrases where people seemed to be obsessed with furniture. With a wry chuckle, Lilly realized that knowing how to say "this is my uncle's armchair" wasn't going to help her much, not here, not now. Smiling ruefully, she realized that perhaps, if her Spanish teacher had looked anything like Scotty, she might have paid more attention. 

"_Lo siento mucho,"_ Scotty interrupted himself. "My partner, Lilly Rush…._dance_ partner," he amended, as one of Lilly's heels connected with his shin. "Lil, this is Rosalia Moreno. She's...Elisa's cousin."

Comprehension flooded over Lilly as she shook Rosalia's hand with a smile. Of course. This was why she looked so familiar; Rosalia looked so much like Elisa that the two of them could have been sisters. Rosalia responded with an engaging smile. "Sorry about the Spanish," she said lightly. "Me an' Scotty go way back."

"Well, then," Lilly replied teasingly. "I bet you know all kinds of stories."

"Oh, yeah…I could keep you here all night tellin' stories about this guy," Rosalia answered with a wicked grin. Scotty shot the brunette a dark look, but she ignored him. "So how do you two know each other?" she asked.

Caught off guard, Lilly silently pleaded with Scotty for help. "We hooked up at a bar a couple of weeks ago," he said easily. _That's all true,_ he reasoned. They _had_ hooked up at a bar a couple of weeks ago. He just decided to omit the four years before that.

"Well, it sure looks like you two are hitting it off," Rosalia said, then added suddenly, "Hey, Lilly, do you mind if I borrow Scotty for a dance?" 

Surprise flickered in Lilly's eyes, but she readily agreed. "Why not? I wanna see what he can really do."

Scotty started to protest, to tell Lilly she was actually pretty good, that she'd caught on quickly, but he didn't have a chance. He was out on the floor with Rosalia before he could even get two words out.

Launching into the dance, they chatted about Rosalia's husband and two kids, and then, after a lull, Rosalia searched Scotty's eyes. 

"Okay, you gotta come clean. You didn't just meet Lilly two weeks ago," she said with certainty.

Taken aback, Scotty was grateful for the slight pause that resulted when he spun her around. "How'd you know that?" he asked suspiciously.

Rosalia rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Scotty, I know you better than that. If you really hooked up at a bar two weeks ago, if this was…just a fling…you wouldn't have already told her about Elisa."

Scotty smiled ruefully. "You should be the detective, Ro, not me."

Rosalia laughed as she spun around, her dark blue dress billowing out in a circle around her. "So, spill, Valens," she ordered, as she faced Scotty once more.

"I work with her," he admitted.

"And you love her." It was more of a statement of fact than a question.

"Yeah," he replied after a pause, a smile spreading across his face as he twirled his dance partner. It was good to be able to tell someone, even if she wasn't the one he really wanted to tell. "I do…. how'd you know?"

"C'mon, Scotty, I could always read you like a book. And I haven't seen you this happy since…" she trailed off.

"Since when?" Scotty pressed.

"Since…we were fourteen," Rosalia answered with a wistful smile.

Scotty spun her into a dip. "No kiddin'?"

"No kiddin'," Rosalia replied. "And it's about damn time."

She was rewarded with a dazzling smile.

* * *

Lilly watched, mesmerized, as Scotty expertly led Rosalia around the dance floor. They seemed to float through the steps, moving effortlessly, almost as one person. _This must have been what he was like before…with Elisa_, she thought. Joy radiated from his face as he spun Rosalia around. Lilly hadn't seen Scotty look so happy, so carefree, since…well…ever, really. 

Sudden, unexpected jealousy pricked Lilly's heart. As she watched Scotty dance, it was like taking a trip back in time, like watching him with Elisa. She knew that, no matter what happened with Scotty, she'd always be playing second fiddle to his first love. She'd never measure up to Elisa. With a sigh, she took another sip of her drink. _You've gone off the deep end, Rush; you see dead people all the time, now you're jealous of one. _

The dance ended and, much to Lilly's relief, Scotty and Rosalia parted ways with a peck on each cheek. Scotty came back to the bar, face flushed and glistening, and sank gratefully down onto the barstool to catch his breath. He'd forgotten how talented Rosalia was, and keeping up with her had been more of a struggle than he cared to admit.

"I thought you said we wouldn't run into anyone we knew," Lilly remarked, trying to sound casual.

"I said we wouldn't run into anyone _we _knew," he retorted breathlessly. "Ro's someone _I _know. And besides, I had no idea she'd even be here. Last I knew she was teachin' salsa at some fancy place in Center City."

"Touché," Lilly replied, taking a sip of her drink. She paused, started to say something, then stopped.

"What?" Scotty asked, suddenly concerned. He sought her sapphire eyes. "You okay, Lil?"

"You look so….happy," she said thoughtfully.

"That a bad thing?" Scotty asked with a grin, not knowing quite where she was going with this.

"No," she protested. "It's just…why? Why are you happy?"

"'Cause it's a great night..?" Scotty supplied tentatively as he sipped his scotch. It seemed like she was fishing for something, but he'd be damned if he had the foggiest idea what it was.

Lilly gave him a cryptic look, seemed to be wrestling with something in her head. "Is it because we're…here?" she finally asked. "With…"

Reality smacked Scotty in the forehead. "No, Lil," he reassured her, setting his scotch on the bar and taking her hands in his. "It's got nothin' to do with that. Me an' Ro…well…she's about the closest thing I got to a sister. There was never anythin' between me an' her, if that's what you're gettin' at…"

Frustrated, Lilly shook her head and tried again. "Is it because she looks like Elisa? You looked so…happy…when you were dancing with her."

Scotty froze. He knew telling her how he felt about her, now, on their first date…that would be an unmitigated disaster. But he had to say _something_ to assuage her insecurity.

Hastily, he fumbled for words. "Lil…no…that ain't it….it's got nothin' to do with Elisa….it's…it's cause of you. The whole time we were dancin', we weren't even talkin' about her….we were talkin' about you, Lil."

Electricity shot through Lilly's veins. "Really?"

_Oh, thank God. _Scotty grinned with relief. "Yeah," he breathed, gazing into her eyes. "I ain't been this happy since…well…ever, really…" he managed with a smile. 

Those words shattered Lilly's insecurities. _She _was the reason he was so damn happy. Joy bubbled up within her, along with the sparks of desire that had been building since the moment she saw him in her living room, and impulsively, she leaned over and kissed him. Softly at first, then gradually building…her hands caressed the back of his neck as her tongue slipped into his mouth, and he welcomed her eagerly, twining his tongue around hers. He could taste the drink on her lips, and beneath that, the sweetness he had come to know as Lilly. He was sure glad he was sitting down, because he didn't think he'd be able to hold himself up much longer. Not when she was kissing him like that. That kiss…there was more to it than just her wanting to jump him. This one was…honest. Vulnerable. With a surge of joy, he realized that somehow, some way, he'd managed to get in and touch her heart, and the kiss was coming from that deep place inside Lilly, the place she never let people see. As his hands found the back of her neck, Scotty felt like he could fly out of the club.

Finally, they needed air. He was starting to see spots when they broke apart, both flushed, both panting. Scotty looked at Lilly and saw his own need reflected in her eyes. "Let's get outta here," he said, his voice husky with emotion and desire. 

Lilly didn't say anything, just nodded. He flung some cash onto the bar, not even bothering to count it, just hoping it would be enough, and led her out of the club and to the street. Somehow, he managed to drive back to Lilly's, obliterating the speed limit and probably several laws of physics as well, and watched as she fumbled to put the keys in the lock, the desire and desperation in her eyes readily apparent. 

When they finally got the door open, Lilly tossed her keys on a table and slipped out of her coat, her eyes still locked on Scotty. He kicked off his shoes and, heart racing, took her in his arms and kissed her hungrily. Greedily. Desperately. He didn't even want to breathe. She was his oxygen. She was all he needed. 

He shrugged out of his shirt and tossed it on the floor as they stumbled toward the couch, Lilly's lightning fingers deftly undoing his belt buckle. He moaned as her fingers brushed against his skin, shivering despite the sudden heat in the room. Once his pants had fallen to the floor, Scotty happily surrendered to her advances, her tongue flicking between her soft, yet unrelenting lips and searing his flesh. He inhaled sharply and gripped her shoulders when she found that deliciously sensitive spot behind his earlobe, and his knees went weak as he cried out in pleasure.

Lilly's heart was pounding as she devoured Scotty. She didn't know a need like this could exist. Nothing mattered, nothing else was even there…nothing except Scotty. His eyes. His face. His voice. His body. The spicy scent of his skin. The intoxicating mixture of musk and sweat and Scotty that lingered on her tongue. Suddenly, she was jerked back to reality by a frustrated growl in Spanish. She looked up to find desire glittering in Scotty's chocolate eyes, and asked a wordless question with her own.

"This damn dress," he growled breathlessly, his hands blazing a path toward her hips. "How in the hell do I get you out of it?" 

She turned her left side to him. "There's a zipper, detective," she laughed through her haze of desire. His fingers shot down the length of her at the speed of light, and he pushed the fabric aside almost roughly. The dress fell to her feet and she stepped out of it. Frantically tearing open the wrapper of a condom and rolling it on, Scotty took the briefest of instants to admire Lilly's slender figure, her gentle curves, the way her ivory skin contrasted with the black lace bra and panties she was wearing, then hastily stripped her of the rest of her clothing, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her down to the couch. After another hungry kiss, he looked deep into her sapphire eyes. In their burning gaze, he saw that she was ready, and he plunged into her without hesitation. 

Restraint was completely lost as Scotty pounded inside her, finally free to unleash the burning desire that had been building since the moment he'd seen her come down the stairs in that red dress. He'd never seen her so beautiful, never seen anything so beautiful, never felt a fire this hot or a need this intense. Words tumbled through his mind, words to praise her beauty, words to apologize if he finished before she did, words of love…but the only sounds he was able to make were the guttural, almost animalistic ones that came from having something feel so fucking good.

Nearly insane with her own desire, Lilly looked up at him as she met his thrusts. She gazed deep into his eyes for a moment, mesmerized by the intensity she saw in them, by the hardness of the muscles in his arms as he moved over her, by the droplets of sweat that glistened on his forehead. She came quickly, her fingers digging into his back, clenching around him with a half-scream and a half-growl, and he finished immediately after that, roaring triumphantly as he spilled himself, the universe exploding into millions of spinning, shimmering stars. Lilly threaded her fingers through Scotty's damp hair as he leaned down to kiss her, then pillowed his head against her chest. They lay motionless for several minutes, catching their breath. _I love you, Lil,_ he said silently, his heart feeling as though it would burst with the words he knew he couldn't say. He settled for looking into her sparkling eyes. "That was…" words failed him.

"Amazing," Lilly sighed. "Wonderful. Intense. Earth-shattering."

Scotty couldn't hide the self-satisfied smile that crept across his face. 

"You look awfully proud of yourself," Lilly teased. Then, with a lascivious grin, she said, "Betcha can't do it again."

Another shot of lust instantaneously surged through Scotty as he reached for her and began to blaze a trail of kisses across her collarbone, causing her to immediately let out a moan and close her eyes. "You're on," he whispered against her shoulder.

Their bubble was shattered by the jarringly shrill electronic jangle of Lilly's cell phone.

* * *

**A/N: Oh, snap. Don't you just hate it when that happens?**


	15. Here In The Real World

**A/N: Ah, the joys of the cell phone age. This was another really fun chapter to write; hope you all enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, Lilly would have her hair in a ponytail more often.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: Here In The Real World**

At the jarring intrusion of Lilly's cell phone, Scotty paused in his ministrations and glanced up at her with a slight grin. "You expectin' a call?"

"Ignore it," Lilly murmured, raking her fingers through his ebony hair. "It's nothing." She pulled him back to the base of her neck, and Scotty, after only a moment's hesitation, returned his lips to her porcelain skin, sending that all-too-familiar tingle skittering throughout her body and causing her to moan in delight once more.

The phone went silent, and Lilly breathed an inward sigh of relief. She didn't recall setting the "Stillman Alarm" when she'd been getting ready, but she wasn't sure. She could have…force of habit, maybe. She couldn't remember…couldn't be sure of much of anything beyond her sofa. Her world was spinning; Scotty was gently laving her clavicle with his tongue, and she couldn't think. Could barely even breathe. All that mattered was here. Now. With him. She inhaled shakily as Scotty found a particularly sensitive spot on her collarbone.

The electronic chirping of her phone pierced the stillness once more.

"Goddammit," she growled in frustration. She'd forgotten that the alarm kept going off periodically until she got up to silence it. "I gotta get that," she whispered against Scotty's temple, and, with a rueful smile, he reluctantly allowed her to get up off the couch. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to catch his breath, then nearly jumped out of his skin when his own phone trilled from beneath the pile of his discarded clothing. Hastily crossing the room and fumbling through his clothes, he heard Lilly swear as she frantically fished in her purse for her phone. "Dammit," she said again, having located the phone and checked the caller ID. "It's Boss."

Scotty looked down at the caller ID on his own phone. "I got Will on mine," he replied, his mind struggling to cut through the haze of lust.

Lilly glanced at him in alarm and answered her phone. "Rush," she said hastily, her voice sounding strange to her ears.

"Oh, there you are, Lil," the voice of John Stillman came over the line. "Listen, I'm sorry to bother you on a Saturday night, but we've got a situation here."

"What kinda…situation?" Lilly asked, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingertips, trying to force her mind to work properly, to ignore the desire that still coursed through her veins as she gazed across the room at her very bronze, very toned, and very naked partner. _Dammit, Rush, focus._

"Construction workers renovating an old building found a John Doe. CSU says he's been down there a while; they want us to come take a look." Stillman continued with directions to the site, and Lilly tried desperately to wrap her mind around them.

When he finished his instructions, Lilly sighed. "I'll be right there," she said reluctantly, then flipped her phone closed. _Duty calls._ Round Two would just have to wait.

Meanwhile, Scotty was obtaining the same information from Jeffries. After ending the call, he glanced up and met her eyes. Lilly sighed again as she looked at Scotty helplessly. "Crap," she finally said.

"No kiddin'," Scotty agreed, raking his eyes up and down her luscious naked form. How the hell were they going to extricate themselves from this one? How the hell were they going to go in to work and not look like they'd just had mind-blowing sex? With each other? And how the hell was he going to get his libido to knock it off while they were working?

Lilly's mind snapped back to reality first. "You get outta here," she said suddenly, grabbing his pants from the floor and thrusting them at him. "Go home, change, and get to work, and I'll do the same here."

"No need to change," Scotty replied, stepping into his pants and fumbling with the belt buckle. "That way, we won't show up at the same time, and the rest of 'em won't be surprised if I look like I came from a date." He bent down to retrieve his discarded shirt from the floor.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Lilly shot back.

Alarmed, Scotty glanced up at her. "No, Lil…I didn't mean…" he hastily tried to extricate his foot from his mouth. "It's just that, well…Vera…kinda already knows I'm seein' somebody."

"What?" Lilly's oceanic eyes betrayed her horror.

"He ain't got a clue it's you," Scotty hastily added, slipping into his shirt. "He just figured out that I've got a girl…somehow…"

Lilly rolled her eyes, stifling a laugh, then picked up a pillow off the sofa and threw it at him, forcing him to duck quickly. "I have _no idea_ how a homicide detective figured that out from Scotty Valens, King of Subtle," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She fired another pillow across the room at him, then hastily gathered up her clothes. Scotty laughed, kissed her quickly with promises to pick up where they left off after they'd returned from the crime scene, and hurried out the door, still buttoning his shirt as he left.

As the door clicked shut behind him, Lilly ran up the stairs, still fighting her way out of the lustful fog. In her haste, she tripped over one of the steps, sending dress and shoes flying, and swore mightily. The racket apparently startled the cats from wherever they were hiding, because she heard the distinctive thumps of their paws as they thudded down the upstairs hallway. With a sigh, she returned to her feet, hurriedly gathered up her clothes again, and ran the rest of the way up the steps.

Upon reaching her bedroom, Lilly glanced in the mirror and realized, with horror, that her hair, unruly on the best of days, was simply irreparable. Sighing in defeat, she fished out the bobby pins, corralled her blonde locks into a ponytail, scrubbed off some of her makeup with a tissue, and threw on some clothes, then ran back down the stairs. She grabbed her keys from the table and her coat from the floor, and hurried out, praying with each step that the flush in her cheeks and the telltale glow illuminating her features would dissipate before she had to face her colleagues.

* * *

Not surprisingly, Scotty arrived at the crime scene first, his feet crunching the gravel as he jogged up to where the other detectives were gathered. "Hey guys," he said, trying his best to sound professional. "What do we got?"

Miller, Jeffries, and Vera all stopped their conversation and looked up at him. "Well, well..." Vera said, a toothy smirk creeping across his face.

"What?" Scotty asked, mystified. He glanced at each of his co-workers, wordlessly demanding to know what the hell was so damn funny.

His wordless query was answered by Miller's soft giggle. "Your…uh…hair," she replied, her ebony eyes sparkling with amusement.

_Dammit_. He knew he'd forgotten something. Hastily, he tried to repair the damage with both hands as Vera and Jeffries snickered. "Guess we really were…interruptin' somethin'," Vera said. "Another hot date with the blonde?"

"Blonde, huh?" Miller asked with a sly smile, shifting her weight to one leg and placing a hand on her hip as she studied her colleague. She suspected Valens had been getting some action, what with the way he'd shown up grinning from ear to ear on Monday morning, and the way he'd practically resorted to mainlining coffee through an IV all day Tuesday, but she hadn't had confirmation until now. As she took in Scotty's appearance, noticing the wrinkles in his shirt, his mussed hair, and the glow that radiated from his bronze skin, she realized that this blonde, whoever she was, was apparently giving Valens the time of his life.

"So who _is_ this girl?" Miller asked, arching a brow and fixing Scotty with a look he was sure Veronica saw quite regularly, a look not unlike one he'd gotten from his own mother for most of his teenage years. It was, frankly, a little unnerving.

"No one…just—just some girl from a bar…" he sputtered as he desperately tried to hold onto the last remaining shreds of his dignity.

Jeffries smiled knowingly. "Looks like our boy's back in the saddle."

Scotty glanced around at the other detectives in disbelief. "Hey, I haven't gone out in, like, a year," he protested, spreading his hands wide to plead his case.

"Uh-huh," Miller answered, folding her arms across her chest, clear by her expression and her tone that she didn't believe him. Vera and Jeffries just shook their heads and smiled as they glanced at one another.

"So…where is she?" Vera asked suddenly.

"Who, Lil?" Scotty asked. "I—I have no idea," he added quickly, looking around for some sign, any sign, of Lilly, hoping she'd show up soon, but knowing her arrival could throw things into even more chaos. On the one hand, having her there might restore some sense of normalcy, especially if his hunch was correct and she'd taken a bit more care with her appearance. On the other, if she showed up as addlepated as he was, well…all bets were off.

"No, man, your date," Vera corrected. "I wanna meet this girl." He glanced around, looking for some sign of this woman, this apparently hotter-than-Hades blonde who had the power to reduce Scotty Valens to a blithering idiot. Not that that would be too difficult, Vera reckoned, but still…he was damn curious.

Scotty could only stare at Vera, dumbfounded. He was saved from having to answer by Miller, who also stared at Vera, eyes wide with horror. "You dumbass…Valens ain't gonna bring a date to dig up a corpse!"

Vera was glancing at Jeffries and shrugging his reply as Lilly crested the hill. Scotty sighed with relief when he saw her; her hair had been smoothed back into an adorable ponytail, and her previously flushed skin was back to its usual pallor, at least, as far as he could tell in the splashes of red and blue lights from the patrol cars on the scene. She seemed to have pulled herself together far better than he apparently had.

Meanwhile, Lilly, who had heard only the last snippet of the conversation, tried desperately to act casual. "Who's bringin' a date to what?" she asked, heart pounding. Surely they hadn't figured it out…

"Oh, hey, Lil," Miller greeted her. "Valens just came from a pretty hot date, from the looks of it, and home slice over here thinks he should have brought her along." She indicated Vera with a jerk of her thumb in his direction. "Can you imagine any girl who'd go out with Valens bein' interested in that?" she giggled.

Lilly chuckled along with Kat, sighing inwardly with relief, and glanced up at Scotty, eyes twinkling. "No, I really can't," she replied with a smile.

"Well, where'd we get you from?" Jeffries asked, eyeing her suspiciously. Something seemed…different about her, but he couldn't for the life of him place a finger on what it was.

Lilly sobered quickly. "Nothin'….just some TV," she answered brusquely, avoiding their eyes.

"Whatcha watchin'?" Vera asked with a teasing smirk as he studied Lilly. "Anything good?"

"We have a John Doe, and you care about what I'm watching on TV?" Lilly snapped incredulously, glaring at her colleague. "We're supposed to be working. Think we can leave junior high behind long enough to do that?"

Vera glanced at Lilly, clearly startled. "Just messin' with you," he said, fixing her with what he hoped was an innocent smile.

Lilly was saved from having to respond by the deep voice of their boss.

"Oh, good, you're all here," Stillman greeted everyone, taking in the scene as he came over from the burial site.

"What have we got, Boss?" Lilly asked, all business, though inwardly she could have wept with relief.

Stillman launched into the summary of what CSU had been able to determine about their John Doe so far, and Lilly peppered him with questions. Scotty watched in amazement as she, Miller, and Jeffries walked on ahead with Stillman. Scotty tried to absorb what the boss was saying, but amazement at Lilly, and renewed lust, had occupied a large chunk of the real estate of his brain. He had absolutely no idea how Lilly could turn Detective Rush, Philly Homicide, on and off like a friggin' switch. He was still struggling to regain some semblance of normalcy in his demeanor, still trying to arrange his jacket to cover the telltale bulge in his pants that had arrived at the same time Lilly had. If it had ever really gone away. He didn't know. Scotty sighed, shook his head as if to clear the cobwebs, and tried his best to pay attention to the case.

Suddenly, he was aware of an elbow in his side. Scotty glanced up to see that Vera had caught up with him and was fixing him with his trademark shit-eating smirk.

"Bow chicka wow-wow," Vera teased, still fixated on Scotty's date.

"Mmm," Scotty replied noncommittally, with a shrug and a slight smile, praying fervently that Lilly's absorption in the case, and the fact that she was several feet ahead of them at this point, would prevent her from hearing their conversation.

As though following Scotty's train of thought, and his eyes, Vera changed the subject. "So what's up with Lil?"

Scotty glanced at his colleague, trying to conceal his alarm. "I dunno," he began slowly. "I ain't exactly been payin' attention to that."

"She seems kinda…grouchy," Vera said with a shrug. After a pause, he continued, in a conspiratorial tone, "Guess I would be too, if I spent all my Saturday nights watchin' TV."

Scotty replied with an incredulous glance. He had a higher tolerance for Nick Vera than most of the others, finding his co-worker's brash obnoxiousness and occasionally inappropriate humor somewhat refreshing, but there was definitely a line, and Vera was dangerously close. Before his brain had a chance to react, to warn him that perhaps this wasn't his brightest idea, Scotty replied, in a bristly tone, "Lil's got a life too, ya know."

Vera chortled richly. "Yeah, right. Doin' what?"

When Scotty didn't return his laugh, Vera glanced up to find his colleague shooting him a dark glare, the muscle in his jaw beginning to twitch. "What? You know somethin' about Lil I don't? She's too damn much of a workaholic…and those…_cats_." Vera shuddered. "You ever seen 'em? Any guy I know'd be scared off in a heartbeat."

Vera had just crossed the line. Rage began to build in Scotty's chest, shooting sparks of it throughout his body, and clenching his hand into a fist. Turning toward Vera, Scotty opened his mouth to respond, started to raise his fist to wipe that damn smirk off Vera's face, but was saved from certain embarrassment and probable suspension only by the sound of Lilly's voice, calling him over to the burial site. She summoned him with a wave of her hand as she crouched down to peer at the skeleton for the first time.

Scotty exhaled, brushed his upper lip with his thumb, and headed toward Lilly, thoughts tumbling over themselves in his head. About Lil, about the cats, about the fact that this was just about the best damn date he'd ever been on, about stupid Vera… Scotty had to do something …something that would show the world that Vera was wrong about Lil, that she wasn't always meant to be alone, that she wasn't the crazy cat lady of Homicide. Hell, maybe Lil might even get the message, too.

Reaching Lilly's side, he crouched down next to her, glanced into her sparkling blue eyes, and his plan instantly crystallized. The rage subsided, replaced by a flood of warmth in his heart, and he smiled at her, suddenly looking forward to enacting his plan on Monday.

Vera, who had been slightly surprised at the glare Scotty had given him in response to his innocent teasing, crouched down next to Scotty to take a peek at the remains for himself. Before making any professional observations, he glanced at his co-worker, pleased to see that Scotty returned to normal.

"I think this chick's really messin' with your head, man," Vera muttered.

Scotty looked up and smiled ruefully. That much, at least, was definitely true.

* * *

**A/N: Hmm. Scotty has a plan. This could prove interesting.**

**Again, thank you so much for your insights! I look forward to hearing from all of you; it thrills me to no end that you're enjoying the story.**


	16. Something To Talk About

**A/N: See, I told you I wouldn't make you wait too long…**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters. They're such fun to play with, though, aren't they?**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: Something To Talk About**

Bright and early that crisp Monday morning, Lilly strode through the glass doors of Headquarters, eager to get a jump on the new case. Their John Doe from Saturday night had been identified as eighteen-year-old Aaron Simpson, and Lilly planned to spend a couple of hours poring through the boxes of evidence from his disappearance in 1979. She sipped from her travel mug of coffee, trying to shake the last of the morning fog. Scotty had kept her up rather late the night before. ..not that she'd minded, of course.

Now, however, she was in full work mode, buoyed by another amazing weekend with Scotty and buzzing with the energy that always came from cracking open a new case, getting to know a new victim, hoping to give a little bit of peace to another set of family and friends who had been waiting for decades. Excitement washed over Lilly as she hung her coat on the rack, slipped her gun into her locker, and walked into the squad room.

But something stopped her short when she rounded the corner and glimpsed her desk. Sitting on top of it, right in the center, was a glass vase containing a single red rose, its petals just beginning to open shyly, enveloped by greenery and a delicate spray of baby's breath. Lilly's sapphire eyes widened in shock, and her heart leaped into her throat. It looked as though Scotty had decided to announce to the world that she, too, was seeing someone. _Perfect,_ she thought with a defeated sigh.

Suddenly, she spied Scotty, sitting at his desk, nonchalantly sipping coffee. The evidence box was already over from Missing Persons and on his desk, and he was casually thumbing through some notes from one of the original interviews. Maybe it wasn't as bad as she thought. Maybe she and Scotty were the only ones there that early.

Her slight ray of hope was dashed, however, when she saw Jeffries come out of the kitchen with a steaming mug of coffee, and the jacket draped over Vera's chair caused her heart to sink even further. She glanced at her watch. _Guess they all decided to clock in early today._

Lilly took a deep breath. "Morning, everybody," she said as casually as she could, trying to figure out how the hell she was going to get that flower arrangement off her desk and into her locker or something so nobody would see it. Then, she realized she was only fooling herself. The rose was inescapably in the line of sight, a welcome splash of color in the otherwise dull room, and besides, she realized, detectives don't miss a damn thing.

_Especially not when the one responsible for the flower decides to call attention to it_, Lilly mused wryly, as Scotty was the first to speak.

"What's with the flowers, Lil?" he asked, glancing up with a teasing smile and taking another sip of his coffee.

"I have no idea," she replied, shooting Scotty a look she hoped would erase that smug grin as she laid her things down on her desk. The heady fragrance of the rose perfumed the air, but she realized, with a smidge of relief, that the clear plastic card holder inserted into the arrangement was empty. _Thank God he wasn't stupid enough to include a card, too._

"Lookin' for this?" Vera asked, holding a small white cardboard rectangle out to her as he strolled by with a fresh mug of coffee and a donut. Lilly snatched it out of his hand, brushed off the bits of sugar glaze that had fallen onto it, and hastily scanned it. No signature, thank God, just a short message in Spanish.

_Para una señorita muy bella. Te veo miercoles por la noche. _

Her heart pounding, Lilly hastily dug in the dark recesses of her mind for some scrap of useful Spanish, something that wasn't a part of a moronic dialogue about furniture, and was able to decipher enough of it to feel fairly confident that Scotty hadn't written anything hideously embarrassing. Plus, she noted with relief, it was typed. Lilly had to hand it to him; it seemed he'd covered all his bases.

"There a signature on that card?" Scotty continued cockily, still smirking that shit-eating grin. Her icy look hadn't fazed him a bit.

"Dunno," Vera answered. "It's all in Spanish."

"What's all in Spanish?" Miller asked as she entered the office. "Hey, flowers!"

"Yep," Vera replied, taking a sip of his coffee. "Looks like Lil's got herself a secret admirer."

"Or a stalker," Miller retorted, as she peered over Lilly's shoulder at the card. "Spanish, huh?" she frowned. "That card got a signature?"

Lilly squeezed the card in her fist and quickly stuffed it in her pocket. "Nope," she replied evenly.

Miller glanced down at the vase. "Guess we could get CSU to dust it for prints…" she mused.

At Lilly's alarmed glance, Scotty quickly jumped in with a smile. "Nah, wouldn't work…dude had it delivered."

"So who's the Casanova?" Miller asked, placing a hand on her hip and arching a brow at Lilly.

"Somethin' you wanna share, Lil?" Jeffries chimed in, glancing up with a teasing smile.

"What the hell makes you think I'm going to tell any of you a damn thing about him?" Lilly sputtered.

"Aha, so there's a _him!"_ Vera concluded joyfully around a mouthful of donut.

_Dammit_. Lilly braved another glance at Scotty, only to find his eyes twinkling with merriment as he took another sip of his coffee.

"Hey," Miller said, following Lilly's eyes. "Valens speaks Spanish; let's get him to translate the card!"

In a flash, Lilly's instinct for self-preservation took a back seat to her desire for a modicum of revenge, and she glanced at Scotty with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"Yes, let's," she agreed brightly, handing the card over to him. _Serves him right._

_Shit. _Scotty hadn't planned on things taking a turn in this particular direction. His grin faded and a faint blush crept into his cheeks as he took the card from Lilly. He sighed and cleared his throat, feeling not unlike he had the time he'd been caught passing Elisa a note in homeroom and had been forced by the scowling Sister Mary Francis to read it to the entire class.

"For a very beautiful _señorita. _I'll see you Wednesday night," he translated, a touch uncomfortably. Avoiding her eyes, he handed the card back to Lilly, who was blushing furiously herself.

"Guess we know what Lil's doin' Wednesday night," Jeffries said smoothly.

"More like _who_," Vera chortled.

"And on a weeknight, too," Jeffries mused with a smile. "Sounds serious."

"Mmmm…a Latin lover…way to go, Lil," Miller smiled, elbowing her friend.

Recovering quickly, Scotty picked up where Miller left off. "This guy sounds like quite the catch," he said smugly.

Still blushing crimson, Lilly glared at him. "I'm going to have to have a talk with him about public displays of affection," she said icily.

"So it looks like Valens ain't the only one gettin' some action around here," Vera mused, taking another bite of his donut. "Dammit, where are you all meeting these people? Scotty's got the blonde, you've got…Casanova over there with the flowers…c'mon, help a guy out!"

"This conversation is over," Lilly snapped, as she grabbed a file from the box on Scotty's desk, slapped it onto her own, and sank into her seat with a flustered sigh, ignoring the barely stifled chuckles from her co-workers.

* * *

Lilly was still somewhat shaky when she went to the kitchen to refill her coffee mug. Thankfully, as files were opened and the case discussed, everyone had shut up about the flowers, but she couldn't help but notice that they all kept sneaking looks at her and smiling to themselves. Mercifully, nobody seemed to be glancing in Scotty's direction. It seemed that the effort he'd taken to cover his tracks had paid off, and she was able to breathe a bit more easily. Scotty, for his part, had managed to wipe that obnoxious smirk off his face and was sitting there casually, still flipping through Detective Bradford's original notes, sipping coffee and occasionally muttering to himself about Bradford's illegible handwriting.

Pouring the coffee into her mug and inhaling its comforting aroma, Lilly was startled to hear footsteps behind her, and looked up to see Kat Miller leaning against the doorway, her empty mug dangling from one finger and a teasing smile on her face.

"What?" Lilly asked suspiciously.

"Flowers at work? You gotta admit that's kinda sweet," Miller replied, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Can we…not talk about this?" Lilly pled.

"Damn, girl," Miller said, crossing the room and pouring coffee into her mug. "I'm gettin' what you're gettin', I'd be wantin' to shout it from the rooftops. "

Lilly smiled cryptically. "Yeah, well…"

"So how hot _is _the sex?" Miller pressed, stepping to her right and lifting the lid of the donut box.

As lascivious memories flooded through her mind, Lilly blushed and fumbled for words, toying with a stray lock of blonde hair that had fallen from its clip. "It's—um, well…it's…"

"That good, huh?" Miller concluded as she studied her flustered colleague, then turned back to the donut box, which, much to her dismay, was completely empty, save for some crumbs, a few orphaned sprinkles, and a scattering of glaze stuck to the bottom. "Dammit!" she cried.

"What?" Lilly asked in reply, glancing at her co-worker.

"Wasn't there a chocolate twirl in here ten minutes ago?" she asked in amazement.

"Dunno," Lilly shrugged, grateful for the momentary distraction.

Miller glanced out into the squad room just then to see Vera sitting at his desk, happily munching away on the aforementioned chocolate twirl, as Scotty stood behind him, the two detectives attempting to decipher a line of particularly messy handwriting.

"Son of a bitch." she began, irritation creeping into her voice. "All I had this morning was coffee and half a handful of Veronica's damn Lucky Charms, and then fatass Vera steals the last donut. Like he even needs it," she fumed. She looked up at Lilly, determination sparking in her dark eyes. "I'm gonna go kick his ass."

Lilly sighed with relief and leaned against the wall as Miller stormed out of the kitchen, muttering vague, semi-rational threats under her breath as she left.

Never had Lilly been so thankful for Nick Vera as she was in that moment.

* * *

Later that morning, Lilly and Scotty went out together to talk to Aaron Simpson's parents. The moment Scotty eased himself into the car, Lilly laid into him. "What the hell, Scotty? Flowers? Are you out of your mind?"

Scotty was taken aback. "Most girls don't get all prickly when somebody does somethin' sweet for 'em," he said, slightly amused at her vehemence.

"Yeah, well, most girls don't have Kat Miller asking them how hot the sex is!" Lilly retorted.

"Really?" Scotty arched a brow. "So…how hot _is _the sex?" he asked teasingly.

"Dammit, Scotty!" Lilly burst out. "Do you _want _the entire office to know about us, is that it?"

Scotty glanced at Lilly, mischief twinkling in his eyes. "Well, Saturday night got me thinkin' that maybe it's time people know you're seein' somebody, too." he grinned. Sobering a bit, he added, his heart pounding, "You're pretty damn special, and…well…I kinda want everybody to see that."

Lilly's heart began to melt, and she smiled slightly.

"Plus, that way, they can lay offa me for a while," Scotty couldn't help adding, then mentally chastised himself. _Dammit, Valens. Quit while you're ahead._

Lilly was incredulous. "Any crap you get from them is crap you bring on yourself, Detective Kiss-and-Tell. I'm not the one who showed up to the crime scene on Saturday with…sex hair!" she sputtered.

Scotty shrugged. "Worth it."

Lilly's heart raced as unbidden memories of Saturday night sprang to mind, but she remained outwardly calm. "I guess so," she replied nonchalantly.

Scotty looked at her and arched a brow. "You _guess _so?" He reached over and gently began to massage her upper thigh, causing the desire to instantly flood through her veins and wash away the last traces of her anger. Melting back into the car seat, she practically purred with delight.

"'Cause I gotta say, that was just about the best damn date I've ever been on," Scotty grinned, gunning the accelerator to catch a yellow light before it turned red.

"Me too," she agreed, resting her hand on top of his.

"One that we'll have to repeat…say…_miercoles por la noche_," he added with a suggestive wiggle of his brows, the Spanish rolling seductively off his tongue.

"Definitely," Lilly replied, with a lusty smile.

Encouraged, Scotty sneaked a glance in her direction. "Besides…what's wrong with sendin' my girlfriend flowers at work?" he asked lightly. His breath caught in his throat as he awaited her response.

Lilly's eyes widened as she considered him. "Girlfriend?" she repeated incredulously.

"Yeah," Scotty replied softly. "Ain't that what this is?"

Realization dawned slowly on Lilly. This…whatever it was… had moved beyond just sex to encompass dinners, flowers, feelings, and deep conversations. If that wasn't a relationship, then what the hell else could it possibly be?

She laughed nervously and lifted a shaky hand to tuck a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "Never thought I'd join the ranks," she said, hoping to deflect the question.

"The ranks of what?" Scotty asked, his brow creasing in confusion.

Lilly glanced at him, amusement twinkling in her eyes. "The ranks of Scotty Valens Girlfriends."

"Come on, Lil," he replied. "There haven't been that many."

"Uh-huh," Lilly answered, clearly unconvinced.

Scotty sobered. "'Girlfriend' ain't a term I use lightly, Lil."

_Crap. _Her eyes widened in fear as she glanced over at Scotty and saw that the expression on his face was dead serious. He wasn't kidding.

"So…you…want this to be…this…us…a couple?" she managed weakly, suddenly unable to draw a full breath.

"Yeah," he replied softly, his heart slamming into the wall of his chest. "I do."

Glancing over at him, she saw him watching her with bated breath, hope shimmering in those endless eyes. Swallowing against the rising panic, she finally answered, in a voice barely above a whisper, "Well…okay." She smiled bravely.

Elation blossomed in Scotty's heart, and he could have let out a whoop of joy, but he settled instead for squeezing her hand. "Well, all right, then." He beamed at her, sighing in relief.

"We still can't tell anybody," she replied urgently, the risk she was taking suddenly looming large in her mind.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he answered, ignoring the overwhelming urge he suddenly felt to roll down the windows and shout it from the car.

"Girlfriend," she repeated again. "I--I think…I could get used to it." She grinned at him with far more confidence than she felt.

Scotty returned her smile. "I was hopin' you might say that." Impulsively, he lifted her delicate ivory hand to his lips and pressed a kiss against the back of it. She smiled slightly and glanced out the window. _What in the hell did I just get myself into?_

Almost as an afterthought, Scotty added, "I thought I did a damn good job actin' like those flowers came from some other guy."

Lilly stole a glance at him. "Yeah, you really did," she was forced to admit, ignoring the cocky smirk that crossed Scotty's face.

"Those morons don't have a clue," he chortled, as they arrived at their destination and he parked the car.

"And it has to stay that way," she warned, shooting him a glare.

Sobering slightly, Scotty nodded as he turned off the ignition. Reality pressed in on him from the edges of his happiness, demanding that he spend two seconds giving some consideration to the risk he was taking, but one glance at Lilly shoved the unpleasantness away.

"But…now that I'm your…girlfriend…and all," Lilly continued, the word still sounding strangely unsettling to her ears, "Somebody else gives me flowers, I wouldn't think you'd be so nonchalant about it."

Scotty tossed her a lopsided grin. "Nah…you get flowers from some other guy now, I'd prob'ly kick his ass."

Lilly rolled her eyes and unbuckled her seat belt. "Somehow, I'm not surprised."

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**In the grand scheme of the story, I'd say we're probably about halfway done. More big things are ahead.**


	17. All Is Fair In Love And War

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, there would be more Donut Wars. **

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: All Is Fair In Love And War**

"You found our boy?" Kathy Simpson's eyes filled with tears. "After all this time? You found my baby?"

Lilly sighed. She hated this part of the job. When she was a rookie, her partner had stressed No Humans Involved. Don't feel. Don't care. Don't let it get to you. And she supposed Fulcrum had a point…feeling the pain of every single victim's family, well…that'd eat you alive. Burn you out. Make you completely useless as a detective.

But Lilly, despite her best efforts, just couldn't operate that way. She cared, deeply, about each victim, about their relatives, their families, their friends. She ached along with this mother, and with a heavy heart, replied, "Yes, Mrs. Simpson. We did. The medical examiner made a positive ID early this morning." She placed a compassionate hand on Kathy's arm.

The tears spilled over, and Kathy leaned on her husband's shoulder as she sobbed.

Scotty cleared his throat uncomfortably. He wasn't crazy about this part of the job, either. _Sorry we've just shattered the last thread of the hope you've had for the last 30 years…now, if it ain't too much trouble, would you mind relivin' the worst day of your life for us one more time so that maybe we can finally catch the son of a bitch who did this? _But as he watched Lilly, he couldn't help but feel a surge of pride at the compassion he saw radiating from her cornflower eyes as she glanced up at him.

"Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, do you have any idea of anyone who might have wanted to hurt your son?" he asked softly.

Mrs. Simpson just shook her head. "He was such a sweet boy," she answered mournfully.

"Kind of a dumbass sometimes," Mr. Simpson replied gruffly, causing both Lilly and Scotty to raise an eyebrow. "But I can't think of anybody who'd want to hurt him…" he trailed off, a faraway look in his eyes.

"Anyone at school? Work? Anyone new in his life?" Scotty pressed.

Mr. Simpson's head snapped up. "That damn hop head," he replied.

"Rick," Kathy began. "Larry wouldn't have hurt him…"

"Hop head?" Scotty repeated, arching his eyebrows.

"This dirty, smelly, ex-hippie lookin' guy was always hangin' around here toward the end. He and Aaron and all their other friends were always down in the basement, smokin' dope. Oh, yeah, they denied it, and I only caught 'em once, but I knew what those dumbasses were doin' down there."

Lilly and Scotty exchanged a glance. "Any idea where we can find this…hop head…now?" Lilly asked, pen at the ready.

Kathy dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "I think…he's an acupuncturist now," she said, handing them a photo of Aaron and his friend Larry Chang.

Lilly laid a sympathetic hand on Kathy's shoulder. "We'll be in touch."

* * *

The sound of softly tinkling wind chimes and gently trickling water filled the air as Scotty and Lilly entered Larry Chang's acupuncture clinic late that afternoon. Lilly thought it all seemed rather relaxing, certainly not like the doctor's offices she'd been to, but as she sneaked a look at Scotty, she noticed him shudder involuntarily.

"Alternative medicine not your thing?" Lilly asked with a smile.

"Medicine in general ain't my thing," Scotty replied uneasily, his face paling somewhat.

Lilly arched a brow. "There a story behind that?" she asked.

Scotty glanced up, then shuddered again. "Somethin' about givin' somebody you don't even know free reign over your body just…kinda makes my skin crawl."

"So you're one of those 'it's only a flesh wound' kinda guys, huh?" Lilly asked with a smile.

"Damn straight," Scotty replied, without even a trace of a grin.

"Good to know," Lilly answered, simultaneously frowning in confusion and grinning in amusement as she and Scotty reached the reception desk.

"Can I help you?" the receptionist asked around an enormous wad of gum.

Lilly flashed her badge in reply. "Detectives Rush, Valens, Philly Homicide. We're here to see Dr. Chang."

"Got an appointment?" the girl asked, not batting an eye.

This place was giving Scotty a serious case of the creeps, and he was in no mood for the gum-snapping, patchouli-smelling receptionist. "We're the Philadelphia goddamn Police," he replied, an angry edge to his voice. "We don't need an appointment."

Lilly glanced up in surprise.

"Looks like you got some pretty serious liver fire there, dude," a man in a white coat said, as he rounded the corner and stood behind the receptionist. Lilly checked the photo Mrs. Simpson had given her, and could barely recognize the man who stood before her. In the photo, he'd been a dirty, long-haired, strung-out former hippie, but now, he stood before them, bespectacled, clean-cut, and sharp as a tack. _Time changes everything, _Lilly mused.

"Liver fire? What the hell is that?" Scotty demanded, curious despite his skepticism.

"You got a pretty quick temper, am I right?" the doctor asked.

"No," Scotty answered quickly, but the incredulous glance the blonde detective shot her partner and the laughter threatening to bubble forth from her made it clear to Dr. Chang that he had guessed correctly.

"Liver fire," the doctor repeated cryptically. "I got some herbs that'd help with that."

"I'll just bet you do," Scotty answered, with another involuntary shudder. "I think I smell some of 'em right now."

"That's not pot, it's moxibustion," Dr. Chang protested.

"We're not narc," Lilly replied calmly, flashing her badge again. "We're homicide."

"Homicide?" the doctor asked, a trace of alarm flickering in his dark eyes.

"Is there somewhere we can talk in private?" Lilly asked smoothly. Dr. Chang turned wordlessly and escorted them into his office.

Their interview with Dr. Chang proved interesting, to say the least, peppered with hilarious stories of how Aaron and his friends had spent many happy hours in the Simpsons' basement, and also provided them with an interesting lead. Larry Chang had informed them that Rick Simpson, whom he also suspected to be afflicted with liver fire, had a reputation for being a hardass, and had once been overheard threatening his son. Scotty and Lilly had exchanged a significant glance at that. Abusive fathers, even rumored ones, always warranted a second visit.

As they rose to leave, Lilly handed him her card. "If you think of anything else, you know how to reach us."

Dr. Chang handed Scotty one of his cards, as well. "Liver fire, man. Think about it."

Lilly suppressed another giggle as Scotty reluctantly took the card and shoved it into his coat pocket with a scowl.

* * *

Back in the squad room the next morning, Lilly sat at her desk dashing through the necessary paperwork on the interview with Dr. Chang so they could head off to visit Rick and Kathy Simpson again. Excitement, along with a bit of dread, tingled through her veins. She'd had genuine sympathy for the couple yesterday, but if they were, in fact, responsible for their son's murder…Lilly shuddered involuntarily. It was a balancing act: thirst for justice versus compassion and sensitivity. She sighed and continued with her paperwork.

Of their own accord, her eyes traveled to the vase that still sat on her desk. The rose was even more beautiful than it had been the day before, the petals having opened up a bit since the previous morning. Warmth flooded Lilly's heart, but it was pricked with fear.

_Girlfriend ain't a term I use lightly, Lil._

What the hell did he mean by that? How many women had Scotty actually used that term with? A cold sense of apprehension coursed through Lilly's veins as she thought back over the years she'd known Scotty and realized that she'd only heard him call one woman his girlfriend.

Elisa.

_Holy crap._

Scotty had been with Elisa for years. Lilly didn't know the details of their relationship, she suspected it had been on-again, off-again during a portion of the time, wasn't sure just how serious it had gotten, but she knew that for more than half his life, Scotty had been there for Elisa. Loved her. Cared for her. Even when it was clear he wasn't getting much of anything in return.

_Is that…is that how he feels…about me? _The thought terrified her.

Her reverie was interrupted by the laughing voice of Kat Miller as she and Scotty came into the office together. Lilly glanced up in alarm, but Scotty met her panicked eyes with a reassuring smile.

"Mornin', Lil," Miller greeted her with a smile, then glanced around the office, seeming to be looking for something.

"Morning," Lilly returned, glancing up only briefly.

Shrugging out of her coat and hanging it on the rack, Miller asked, "Anybody seen that damn donut thief today?"

Lilly shook her head. "I don't think he's in yet," she replied, laughing softly.

Miller fixed her with a glare. "When he does come in…tell him I'm lookin' for him." She turned and headed for the coffee maker, ignoring the soft chuckles from her colleagues.

After Miller left, Scotty set his things on his desk, looked at Lilly, and sighed contentedly.

"Hey," he said softly, resisting the overwhelming urge he suddenly felt to come up behind her, wrap his arms around her, and press a kiss to the top of her head. She looked radiant this morning, and a self-satisfied smile crossed Scotty's face as he remembered exactly what he'd done to her the night before to bring that radiance to fruition.

Plus, she had her hair in a ponytail again. Oh, Lord, did he love that ponytail. Sure, he loved her hair down (made it easier for him to run his fingers through that flaxen waterfall), and up (left her neck free for kissing, for nibbling), but there was just something about that ponytail that drove him absolutely to distraction.

As he studied her, Scotty realized that the ponytail was just…_her_. That combination of outward professionalism and hidden whimsy. Kinda like that black coat she had. Sleek, black, and conservative on the outside, but a hot pink liner told the trenchant observer that there was more to its wearer than met the eye.

And its wearer, his girlfriend, had let him see what lay beneath her cool, guarded exterior.

_Girlfriend._

His heart soared.

Lilly caught him staring at her and shot him a warning glance. "What?" she whispered.

"You look great this mornin'," he replied softly, gazing at her tenderly as he shrugged out of his overcoat and draped it on the back of his chair.

"Really?" she arched a brow.

"Really," Scotty answered with a grin, taking a seat. "Love the ponytail."

"You do?" she asked warily, nervously glancing around to see if Miller had come out of the kitchen yet.

"Hell, yeah," Scotty rejoined, and Lilly's heart began to race as she noticed the desirous glint in his dark eyes. She inhaled shakily and smiled slightly as she looked away, putting pen to paperwork once more.

Their repartee was interrupted by Stillman arriving for work.

"Mornin', everybody," he greeted the room.

"Mornin', Boss," Lilly replied.

Stillman strode past their little cluster of desks, headed for his office. Upon reaching Lilly's desk, though, he paused, tapping it lightly with a finger.

"That flower sure brightens things up around here," he remarked. "And I don't just mean the room," he added lightly, arching a brow in Lilly's direction, a slight grin playing on his lips.

As Stillman continued his progress through the squad room, Lilly couldn't help but smile, and Scotty's heart melted as he gazed at her in wonder. How the hell had he worked alongside this woman for four entire years and never noticed how gorgeous she was? That dazzling smile, those sparkling eyes, the faint blush that was just beginning to kiss her cheeks in response to Stillman's comment…good God, he was head over heels for her. She was beautiful. She was breathtaking.

And she was _his_.

_Shit, Valens, pull it together. You're at work, for God's sake._ Scotty shook his head and opened up the file containing Bradford's notes once more, still wondering how the hell he'd gotten stuck with the difficult task of deciphering the other detective's chicken scratches.

"Where the hell's Miller?" a gravelly voice demanded peevishly as Nick Vera entered the room, a white paper bag in one hand. He shrugged out of his coat and glanced warily around the room.

"Right here," Miller announced confidently as she came out of the kitchen, a fresh mug of coffee in one hand. When she saw Vera, she stopped, placed her free hand on her hip, and fixed him with an expectant look. "You got somethin' for me?" she asked pointedly.

Scotty and Lilly looked up and exchanged an amused glance.

Vera mumbled something under his breath and handed her the paper bag. "One friggin' chocolate twirl donut…Your Highness."

Miller's face lit up with triumph as she tore into the bag. "That's _Detective _Your Highness to you," she replied as she lifted the donut out. Her eyes sparkling, she took a large, victorious bite and purred in exaggerated delight.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Vera muttered uncharitably as he took his seat. "Next time, do us all a favor and put your damn name on it or somethin'."

"Next time, do _us _all a favor and don't eat the whole damn dozen," Miller retorted.

* * *

A second visit to the Simpson home had ruled Aaron's father out as a suspect. Rick Simpson seemed like kind of a hardass, someone Scotty sure wouldn't have wanted as a dad, but his alibi checked out, and Scotty's detective instinct told him the guy was innocent. Not too free with the details, that one, but he wasn't hiding murder.

In the kitchen with Kathy Simpson, Lilly had gotten the names of some more of Aaron's high school friends. Kathy didn't know where some of them had ended up, as the merry band of misfits seemed to have fallen apart after Aaron's death, but one name she provided had proven interesting when they got back to the squad room and started doing some research.

Vera and Miller's expert digging had unearthed the fact that one of Aaron's friends, Steve McBride, had been in and out of jail over the decades since high school, mostly for drug offenses, but also for assault. When Vera announced his findings, Scotty and Lilly had exchanged an intrigued glance and immediately headed for lockup, where McBride was serving time for possession. Again.

* * *

The electronic buzzer and the clang of the cell doors shutting echoed through the halls as Scotty strode into the prison interview room and flashed his badge. "I'm Detective Valens, this is my partner, Detective Rush," he announced, indicating Lilly with a glance.

"Partner, huh?" McBride asked from his seat, raking his eyes up and down Lilly's slender figure.

Scotty had been a cop long enough that he wasn't surprised at the callousness with which their suspect ogled Lilly, but he was surprised at the rage that began to simmer within him. He'd watched this sort of thing happen all the time during the four years he'd worked with Lilly, and it had always bothered him some, but now…now it was personal.

McBride saw the male detective shoot him a dark glare as he took a seat at the table, but that was ignored in favor of continuing to check out that blonde, that…smokin' hot…Homicide Barbie.

"Damn," he drawled appreciatively. "You're a detective?"

Lilly nodded with a slight smile.

McBride let out a low whistle, and glanced at Scotty. "She's pretty hot. You fuckin' her yet?"

Lilly's eyes betrayed her surprise for only a moment before she slipped behind her icy mask again. She was used to people giving her crap because she was a woman, used to the lack of respect, and she'd even been hit on, many, many times, usually crudely and immediately. And, sure, people had asked if she and Scotty were together, but, she realized with a trace of wry amusement, it had never been true.

Scotty cleared his throat, his heart pounding and beads of sweat beginning to form on his temples and upper lip. "I'm gonna do you a favor and pretend you didn't just say that," he said, in a low, threatening voice. He was teetering on the edge…something deep inside of him felt perilously close to snapping.

Still leering at Lilly, McBride continued. "'Cause if you ain't, I might have to."

Alarmed, Lilly stole a glance at Scotty, and her heart began to race. She'd seen that look before, the way his jaw clenched and the muscles in his cheek twitched, the way his lips tightened to a thin line, the way his slightly narrowed eyes darkened to ebony and glittered dangerously. A sick sense of dread began to coil in the pit of her stomach.

"We're here about the murder of a friend of yours from high school. Aaron Simpson. You know anything about that?" Lilly asked, desperately trying to seize control of the situation.

McBride grinned at Lilly, a lecherous look in his eyes. "I know what I'm gonna do to you as soon as I get your pal here to leave us alone. You into foreplay, or do you like it quick and dirty?"

Scotty's pounding pulse became a roar in his ears, and suddenly, the rage which had been building within him at an alarming rate boiled over, and he was out of his seat and leaning over McBride.

"You back off, pal. She ain't for sale. Show some respect," he seethed.

"Scotty…" Lilly warned in a low voice. Scotty ignored her and continued to glower menacingly at the suspect.

Unmoved, McBride met Scotty's glare and laughed. "You're either already doin' her, or you really, really want to."

Whatever else he might have said was cut off as Scotty smashed a well-timed right hook into McBride's jaw.

* * *

**A/N: Well, well. Liver fire, indeed. **

**As always, thanks for reading!! Special thanks to Collider, whose ongoing work ****The Collective Soul**** inspired me to include Donut Wars as an element of this story. If you enjoy suspense, angst, excellent character insights, and donut humor, go check this one out.**


	18. Any Man of Mine

**A/N: ****This chapter, as so many of them do, blossomed into something completely unexpected. Lil really surprised me. **

**Disclaimer: If you look closely, you'll see that all these characters have tiny little signs on them that read "Property of Jerry and Meredith." (Insert your own "strip-searching Scotty" joke here).**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Any Man of Mine**

Back at the office an hour later, Lilly sat at her desk, still fuming. Scotty had gotten in a couple more good punches before the guards had burst in and pulled him off of McBride. Storming out of the interview room, Scotty had paced the hallway for a few minutes, and Lilly had determined that, thanks to the burly presence of the uniformed guards and the rapidly swelling bruises on his cheek and jaw, McBride would be on his best behavior, so she'd finished the interview alone. They'd driven back to the office in silence, the still-incensed Scotty driving even more aggressively than usual, and Lilly quietly seething as she glared out the window.

They'd returned to a mostly empty squad room. A few other detectives bustled about, but Vera and Jeffries were out on an interview with another high school friend of Aaron's, and Miller had gone off to talk to CSU about some evidence they'd dug up. Lilly was filling out her interview report, attempting to explain, as gracefully as she could, what had happened. Scotty, meanwhile, just sat at his desk, an almost visible dark cloud hovering over him. He was pretending to fill out his own report, but mostly he was just glowering, leaning back in his chair, tapping his pen against the desk, not really talking to her except to throw out a smartass comment every now and then.

Finally, Lilly had had enough. Her…boyfriend…was acting like a damn six-year old, and the incessant pen tapping was driving her insane. Coolly, she rose and asked, "Scotty, can I talk to you for a minute?" She indicated the interview room with a jerk of her head.

'_Bout damn time, _Scotty mused. The air in the car had been noticeably frosty, and Lilly hadn't said anything, just gave him the Ice Queen stare once or twice before she quit looking at him altogether. He'd seen her silently seething over there at her desk as she filled out the interview report, and he figured there was probably a harangue of some sort coming. The only question in his mind was whether she'd give it to him of her own accord, or whether he'd have to chase her down and drag it out of her.

Wordlessly, Scotty rose and flung his pen to the desk. It bounced once, pinged off his coffee mug, and then clattered to the floor. He didn't even glance at it or at Lilly as he headed into the interview room and dropped himself into the chair with an exasperated sigh.

Once inside, Lilly slammed the door and laid into him. "What the hell was that?" she demanded, standing directly across from him, leaning on the table like she did with suspects.

"What the hell was what?" he parroted, eyes blazing, not the least bit intimidated by her interrogation tactics.

Lilly fixed him with a frosty glare. "Don't play dumb with me, Valens. What the hell got into you back there with McBride? People talk shit to me all the time, and you never went off on them before. What's different now?"

Scotty couldn't believe his ears. "What's different now?" he repeated with a dry, mirthless chuckle. "What do you mean, what's different now? Why do you even have to ask that? Everything's different now."

"What, because we're dating, now you think you have to defend my honor?" Lilly chuckled as she arched a brow in disbelief, but she quickly sobered at the way Scotty's eyes had darkened…not with anger this time, but with…truth. Holy crap, he was dead serious. She'd hit the nail on the head.

"You…actually think you have to defend my honor," she repeated incredulously, her voice softer, her eyes widening and losing just a fraction of their icy edge.

"Yeah, well…somebody's got to," Scotty muttered darkly.

Lilly sighed. "Look, Scotty…you know just as well as I do that I'm gonna take a certain amount of heat being a woman in this field. It's just the way it is." she explained, raising up off the table and beginning to pace slightly.

"And it shouldn't be that way," Scotty replied angrily. "It never sat right with me before…but now, just the thought of some jerk givin' you shit and lookin' at you like you're a piece of meat…it's enough to make me wanna kick his ass." His hands balled up into fists on the table.

"_Wanna _kick his ass? You _did _kick his ass. And you cannot do that every single time someone says something he shouldn't!" Lilly retorted, glaring daggers at him.

"Christ, Lil," Scotty burst out, his eyes sparking with intensity. "It always bothered me, but now…it's…it's like a punch in the gut. I… l-" he stopped himself, took a deep breath, and started again, his voice somewhat calmer. "I…really, really care about you, Lil, and I can't just stand there and watch you take it…you're not just my partner anymore…you're my girlfriend now," he said, softly, "…and…I wanna save you from all the bad shit in the world." _Jeez, that was close._

_Save me? _As she looked at Scotty, sitting there, his coffee-colored eyes so earnest and pleading, her heart melted just a bit, and she was forced to smile. _This has gotta be the most chauvinistic, most ridiculous, most asinine…and sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me._

She sighed and looked him in the eye. "Scotty, I appreciate the chivalry, the whole…knight in shining armor thing…really, but…I can take care of myself. I've been doin' it my whole life, and I'm not gonna stop just 'cause I'm with you. I don't need you to…save me…I've got the same badge, the same gun, and the same training as you. I may look fragile, but I'm pretty damn tough."

"And you act all tough, but you're pretty damn fragile," he retorted, not missing a beat.

Panic surged through Lilly's veins. She'd been found out. She'd been exposed. Her walls were down, and Scotty was in. And there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. Heart racing, she hastily tried to control the damage, and the words poured forth in a fearful torrent.

"Don't you see? Scumbags always think lady cops are weak, and if you come flyin' in like…like fucking Superman or something every time some jackass looks at me funny, they're gonna think I can't do this job. And I can't let that happen. I am not some--some broken wing girlfriend for you to _save_, Scotty! At work, I—I can't be your girlfriend…the hero act…I can't do that…here on the job…you…you have to treat me like you always did…if this has any chance in hell at all." She stopped then, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes sparking with anger as she continued to glare at him.

Scotty sighed in defeat, leaning his elbows on the table and rubbing his forehead with the heels of his hands, then folding them and resting his chin on top. With a sinking heart, he knew she was right, and that she wasn't going to budge on this one. He knew he had to back off and let her handle things on her own. Even though every instinct he had was crying out for him to wrap his arms around her and whisk her away to some desert island somewhere, to protect her from every awful thing the world wanted to throw at her and to try and begin to make up for all the awful things it already had, he knew that Lilly didn't want an escape. She wanted to muddle through it, to beat it back, to fight it off and win. He didn't know quite where that drive came from, but he knew it was there, and it was part of what he loved about her. And, he realized that if he kept doing what he was doing, he'd weaken her to the point that she wouldn't be that tough yet compassionate, stubborn yet soft-hearted, brilliant yet flawed, simply indescribable woman he'd managed to fall in love with. She wouldn't be…Lil…anymore.

"Dammit…you're right," he finally said, glancing up at her.

Lilly sighed with relief as she leaned back against the wall and folded her arms across her chest. The anger in her eyes faded then, and the faintest hint of a smile began to lift the corners of her mouth. "Do you ever think anything through before you act, Scotty?" she asked gently.

Scotty's lips curved into a rueful, yet teasing smile. "Not usually, no. But sometimes, the _not_ thinkin'…it's got its perks." He arched a brow.

Remembering, Lilly grinned. "I guess…sometimes…not thinking's not so bad."

Scotty rose from his chair and started to move toward her. "Besides, I'm thinkin' about somethin' right now. I'm thinkin' about it hard. And now…now I think I'm gonna do it."

He crossed the room and for a second, she was terrified he was going to kiss her, right here at work, but instead, he gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm thinkin' that I gotta apologize to you, and I'm thinkin' that I'm gonna back off and let you do your job. I ain't promisin' anything, but…I'm gonna try."

"That's all I ask," Lilly replied softly.

"But if we're out…or somethin'…away from work…and some jackass pulls a stunt like that, he's gonna be lyin' on the ground bleedin'," Scotty said heatedly, dropping his hand from her shoulder.

"I'd expect nothing less from you," Lilly began with a smile, but as his hand moved, she noticed for the first time that the knuckles had reddened and were starting to swell, and she had no doubt that it was painful, but he'd never said a word, never done anything to indicate it was bothering him in the slightest.

Lilly was touched. She took his hand gently in both of hers, examining it for a moment.

"Maybe you should put some ice on that," she suggested softly, eyes wide with compassion.

Startled, Scotty looked up, and what he saw in her eyes took his breath away. She'd dropped the Ice Queen thing completely, and he could tell that, despite the lecture she'd just given him, something, somewhere inside her, had been deeply affected. In that moment, he realized he'd do it again in a heartbeat, kick the ass of a thousand McBrides if Lil would look at him like that.

"Yeah," he finally said, his voice sounding husky and faraway, not wanting to tear his eyes away from hers even for a second. The heat of their gaze was rapidly melting away the last of the chill in the room, and he could hardly breathe. _God, if we weren't at work right now…_

The spell was broken by the sudden jiggling of the doorknob and Scotty would never know how Lilly managed to get to the other side of the room so quickly before the door opened completely.

The bulky form of Nick Vera filled the doorway and cast them both in shadow. "What's goin' on in here? You guys all right?"

"Everything's fine," Lilly said breezily. "I was just leaving." Without a backward glance, she brushed past Vera and headed back into the office.

"Heard you punched a guy out. Again." Vera said to Scotty, tapping the file in his hand on the table.

"Bastard deserved it," Scotty replied simply.

"Well, maybe," Vera continued, "but he ain't the doer. This just came in." Vera opened the file and showed Scotty the incontrovertible evidence of McBride's innocence. His alibi checked out. Scotty sighed in defeat upon learning the truth.

"You tryin' to get yourself suspended or somethin'?" Vera demanded. "What the hell's your problem?"

Scotty smiled ruefully. "I think I got some of that…whaddayacallit…liver fire."

Vera shot Scotty a mystified glance, and Scotty just shrugged.

"Well, at least they got a name for it," Vera said with a smirk.

* * *

Out in the office, Lilly sat down at her desk and tried to finish filling out her report, still shaky from what had just happened. She was deeply touched by Scotty's chivalry, his desire to protect her from everything the world wanted to throw at her…but being tough, being a fighter, was her whole identity, the whole reason she'd survived as long as she had. She needed him to let her fight her own battles, but she couldn't figure out why his…defense of her honor…was affecting her this way.

The truth suddenly hit her. She really, truly was in a relationship. An real, honest-to-God, adult relationship.

With her _partner. _Her fiery, passionate, loose cannon of a partner who was lousy at keeping secrets and hiding his feelings. Lilly had figured everything would be fine; they'd enjoy the amazing sex for as long as it lasted, and then go back to just being partners. She figured it'd burn itself out in a few weeks, they could end things, be professional, be friendly, even, and no one would be the wiser.

She hadn't counted on it turning into a _relationship._

_Crap_.

What the hell was she going to do now? It was a fine line they were walking, and he was getting closer and closer to the edge. If they couldn't hide this…if they couldn't keep their secret…if this imperiled her job…

She stopped that particular train of thought in its tracks with a rueful chuckle. She knew her history with relationships well enough to know that it would never make it that far. A few weeks, a couple of months at most, seemed to be all she was good for lately. And wonderful as this was, Lilly realized, with a pang, that she didn't have any reason to think it would turn out any differently.

As Scotty returned to his desk and glanced at her with a brief, professional smile before turning back to his paperwork, she returned his smile and shoved the fears back to the dark corners of her mind. Things were good now. No sense in ruining them worrying about what you can't change.

* * *

At three in the morning, Scotty was jolted awake by Lilly sitting bolt upright in bed. "Shit!" she cried.

"What?" he asked quickly, trying to force himself awake.

"Shit!" she said again.

Scotty raised himself up onto one elbow. "You okay, Lil?" he asked quickly, taking in the panic-stricken look in her eyes. He glanced furtively around the room and started to fumble around on the bedside table for his gun.

She placed a hand on his elbow to stop him. "It's nothing," she said.

"One of the cats do somethin'?" Scotty asked, still trying to force his eyes to focus.

"No….but they _know!_" she answered.

"Who…the cats?" Scotty blinked in confusion as he sat up.

"Our co-workers!" Lilly corrected impatiently.

"Wait, what…exactly…do they know?" Scotty asked carefully, rummaging through his mind for some idea of how he might have given it away. He _thought _he'd been careful…had one of the others been in the observation room while they were arguing earlier? His blood ran cold.

"They know I have a date tomorrow night!" she answered, glaring at him.

"How do they know that?" Scotty pressed.

"Because you put it on the card with the flowers," she cried, looking at him incredulously.

Scotty, wide awake now, tossed her a panicked glance. "Well, I sure as hell wasn't expectin' you to make me read it to the whole squad," he retorted.

Their eyes met for a brief instant.

"Crap," Lilly said softly, leaning her elbows on her knees and cradling her head in her hands. "What the hell are we gonna do?"

"I dunno," he said honestly, glancing her way. "We sure as hell can't stay here…"

"Why not?" she demanded fearfully.

"They'll stalk you," Scotty replied grimly.

"Oh, God," Lilly groaned. "Wait…how do you know that?"

"They've done it before," he admitted.

"When the hell did they stalk me?" Lilly demanded, glaring at Scotty.

"Not you," he corrected quickly, and the anger in her eyes faded somewhat.

"Then who?" she pressed.

Scotty smiled sheepishly. "When Miller first showed up, she kept sayin' she couldn't work on Wednesday nights. She had this…personal thing… and…well…"

Lilly's eyes narrowed. "What the hell did you do?"

Scotty spread his hands, protesting his innocence. "Now, it was all Vera's idea," he began. "But he sorta got a little obsessed with findin' out what she was doin', and so he got me and Will to come along while he followed her." At Lilly's icy glare, he quickly continued. "Turned out to be Veronica's ballet recital."

Cold reality washed over Lilly. "We're screwed…they're gonna come skulking around here tomorrow night."

"Well, Kat won't," Scotty supplied, trying to be helpful. "It's Wednesday night; Veronica's got ballet. And Will's prob'ly got somethin' better to do. He won't come unless Vera makes him."

"But that doesn't solve our problem," Lilly said helplessly. "What are we gonna do? We can't go to your place…"

Scotty nodded in agreement, realizing that if those nosy idiots couldn't find Lilly, they'd probably see if they couldn't get a glimpse of his mystery blonde.

Suddenly, a vague memory dawned on him, and he hastily reached across Lilly to grab the case file from her bedside table. Ignoring the mystified glance she shot him, he switched on the light and rifled through the papers. He thought he'd seen something earlier…a stone that remained unturned…and if he could pull it off, it might possibly be his most brilliant bit of detective work ever. Even better than the Hammond job.

"What are you looking for?" she asked, craning her neck to get a better look.

Flipping through one of the original interviews, Scotty found exactly what he was searching for. "Aw, hell yeah," he congratulated himself, then turned to Lilly, beaming.

At her skeptically arched brow, he launched into an explanation. "One of the original interviews from Missing Persons mentions that Aaron's got a sister…" he mused, pointing out a line of text.

"A sister?" Lilly repeated. "That's new…"

"This witness…guess he was one of Aaron's high school friends…Kenny…" Scotty stopped and squinted at the notes. "Martinson, looks like," he finally concluded, silently cursing Bradford's handwriting for the nine thousandth time since they'd started this job.

"Right here," he said, pointing to it. "Says he had a sister, and after Aaron disappeared, she moved to New York."

Lilly's eyes widened. "New York?"

"Yeah," Scotty continued excitedly.

"How the hell did they miss that before?" Lilly asked, grabbing the file from his hands.

"Have you _seen _Bradford's handwriting?" Scotty retorted.

The wheels in Lilly's head began to turn. "You know, the parents never mentioned her…didn't see any pictures of her at the house…"

Scotty glanced at Lilly, anticipation shimmering in his brown eyes. "I had another kid, I'd sure as hell mention it."

"Seems suspicious," Lilly agreed, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Boss'll definitely go for somebody goin' up there to talk to her…and since we're the ones who found it…" Scotty began.

"We're the ones who should go," Lilly concluded, breaking into a wide grin. "I gotta hand it to you, Valens, that's a pretty impressive bit of sleuthing. You got us a solid lead, a trip to New York, and an airtight reason for Vera to leave us the hell alone."

"Well, your Casanova might be disappointed you're gonna be gone tomorrow night," Scotty replied with a teasing smile.

Lilly arched a brow at him and licked her lips. "I can guarantee that he won't be," she purred in reply as a surge of joy coursed through her veins. A getaway with Scotty. To New York. Time with him, without worrying about their nosy co-workers.

As though reading her mind, Scotty added, with a wicked grin, "Plus, we get to have some more hotel sex, courtesy of the taxpayers. I seem to remember you kinda likin' that before…"

Lilly beamed. This was just getting better and better. "Care for a preview?" she asked seductively, straddling him and lowering her head to kiss him.

The moment her lips touched his, Scotty was lost to the passion that now seemed to be constantly flowing through his veins. His hands tangled in her hair as he devoured her mouth, and when her hands caressed the broad planes of his bare chest, he tore his lips from hers and chuckled.

"Well, I ain't sayin' no to that," he replied as she drove him down into the pillows.

* * *

**A/N: Road trip! **

**As always, thanks so much for reading and reviewing! **


	19. Keep It Between The Lines

**A/N: As always, thanks so much for all the encouragement. Y'all are the best!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. As for the donuts…technically, I do own those, but I'd have to fight Vera and Kat for them.**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: Keep It Between The Lines**

First thing in the morning, Scotty knocked on the metal door frame of the lieutenant's office. "Hey, Boss," he began. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure thing, Scotty," Stillman replied as he lowered his coffee mug from his lips. "What's up?"

"I was lookin' through some of Bradford's notes last night," he began eagerly, crossing the room and pointing out the line of scribbling he found.

"You can read those chicken scratches?" Stillman asked with a slight chuckle.

"They ain't as hard as you might think," Scotty replied cockily before continuing. "Found out Aaron Simpson's got a sister who lives in New York."

"A sister in New York? Seems like we shoulda noticed that before," Stillman commented, taking the notes from Scotty. He squinted, trying to read Detective Bradford's scribbling.

After a moment, Stillman sighed, scrubbed a weathered hand over the top of his head, and looked up. "I can see how that might have been overlooked," he remarked drily, handing the notes back to Scotty. "Parents didn't mention her?"

"That's just the thing," Scotty continued excitedly. "Lil and I talked to the parents twice, and they never even brought her up. Now, if I only got two kids, and one of 'em disappears, I'd sure as hell hang on tight to the other one," he commented_._

A sudden, unbidden image of two dark-haired, dimpled, sapphire-eyed children sprang to his mind. _Kids?! _His startled brain shrieked at him. _Good God, Valens, get a grip!_

"I would, too," Stillman replied, a frown creasing his features.

"I was thinkin' somebody oughta go up there and talk to this sister, see if she knows anything," Scotty suggested casually.

"Pack your bags," Stillman replied, "and take Nicky with you."

The blood drained from Scotty's face. "Uh…well…see, I was kinda hopin' to take Rush…you know…woman's intuition and all of that," he protested, in what he hoped was a casually nonchalant tone. _Shit, Valens! Woman's intuition? That the best you could come up with?_

"You could take Miller," Stillman suggested, eyeing Scotty suspiciously.

"Nah, it's Wednesday. She's got that thing," Scotty answered, a bit more quickly than he would have liked.

Stillman removed his glasses and considered the detective with a sigh. "I don't want what happened in Nashville to happen again, is that clear?" he asked sternly.

Scotty's blood turned to ice. "Come again, Boss?"

"You and Lil fought like cats and dogs for an entire week after you got back, Scotty," Stillman explained. "I don't wanna go through that again. Did you two have a fight down there, or do you just not travel well together? "

"Nah, we're fine," Scotty said lightly. "Just a misunderstandin'. We got it all cleared up. Won't happen again."

Stillman replaced his glasses and scrutinized Scotty for a long moment. Scotty stood there, praying with each shallow breath that he was standing far enough away that the boss couldn't hear the frantic thumping of his heart.

"All right, if she'll go with you, take her," Stillman finally consented, against his better judgment. "But you two better as hell behave yourselves when you get back."

"Okay, then," Scotty replied coolly, hoping he could turn his back before Stillman could see the grin that was rapidly spreading across his face.

"And Scotty," Stillman added.

"Yeah?" Scotty glanced over his shoulder.

"Keep your hands to yourself," Stillman ordered.

Scotty froze. All the color drained from his face and his mouth suddenly went dry. He turned back to face Stillman, but couldn't even trust himself to meet his boss's eyes. "What's that?"

"You heard me," Stillman answered sternly. "I don't want NYPD on the phone tellin' me my hothead detective just used a suspect for a punching bag. You're on very, _very_ thin ice after that stunt you pulled yesterday." He fixed Scotty with a meaningful glare.

Normally, a threat like the one he'd just received from Stillman would put the fear of God into him, but now all Scotty could do was smile with relief. "I'll do my best," he managed, then tried to calm his wildly racing heart as he beat a hasty retreat_._

* * *

Lilly was waiting for him in the kitchen. "Well?" she asked, sipping from her coffee mug.

"Pack your bags, Lil. We're hittin' the Big Apple this afternoon," Scotty announced with a triumphant smile.

Beaming, Lilly fought the urge to grab Scotty and kiss him then and there. "This could be fun," she remarked.

"What could be fun?" Miller asked, striding into the kitchen and making a beeline for the coffee maker.

Lilly's smile quickly faded and her blood ran cold, but Scotty quickly responded. "Me an' Lil gotta go to New York this afternoon," he replied, rolling his eyes slightly, hoping he sounded suitably reluctant.

"New York?" Miller glanced up in surprise as she poured coffee into her mug. "How come?"

"Simpson's got a sister that lives up there," Scotty explained.

"A sister?" Miller asked incredulously. "That's new." Stirring her coffee, she shot the two of them a glare.

"What?" Lilly asked weakly.

"How come nobody told me?" Miller demanded. "I _love _New York."

"Yeah, but…ain't it Wednesday?" Scotty reminded her, in a tone he hoped suggested the utmost nonchalance.

"Yeah," Miller sighed. "Well, at least go take in a show for me while you're there…" she said wistfully.

Lilly froze. "This…this is a work trip," she reminded them all.

"'Sides," Scotty added smoothly, "Lil hates musicals, remember?"

Miller rolled her eyes. "Well, you at least gotta do somethin' fun up there. Make up for Lil havin' to miss that date with Casanova. You sure he's okay with this?"

Lilly waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, it's fine," she said.

"Really?" Miller arched a brow.

"He knows it's just part of the job," Lilly breezed. "Plus, we'll…make up for it later."

A wicked grin crossed Miller's face. "Do tell," she pressed suggestively.

_Crap. _The double entendre had been entirely unintentional. Lilly's eyes widened, and she felt, to her horror, a blush creeping up her neck.

Scotty glanced at Lilly and barely managed to suppress a laugh. He briefly entertained the notion of pressing for details, exactly how she planned to make up her date with Casanova, but the glare she shot him just then made him think better of it.

"I'm outta here," he said with a grin, and was gone, chuckling to himself as he left.

Miller shook her head, laughed softly, and took a sip of her coffee. "So where'd you find this guy, anyway?"

"Find who?" Vera asked, as he strolled into the kitchen clutching an empty coffee mug.

"Casanova," Miller answered. "Apparently, this guy Lil's seein' is completely fine with her takin' off to New York with Valens and missin' their date tonight."

"New York?" Vera echoed, glancing back at her as he filled his mug.

"Yeah," Lilly replied, hoping she sounded sufficiently reluctant. "Our victim's got a sister up there."

"Damn," he complained petulantly. "New York's got way better chicks than Philly."

Miller shot her colleague a withering glare. "Like some badass Broadway babe'd give _you _the time of day."

Vera ignored her, as a thought had suddenly occurred to him.

"So…wait…you and Valens are goin' to New York?" he asked suddenly, fixing Lilly with a look that made her blood run cold. She recognized that look, that suspicious look Nick Vera got when the wheels in his head were turning and he was close to figuring something out.

"Spendin' the night?" he asked.

Lilly didn't trust herself to speak. She could only nod.

"So…if you're takin' this last minute trip to New York…together…"he began, "…then that's gotta mean…"

A wicked grin crossed his face. Lilly's breath caught in her throat.

"…the blonde's free tonight!" he concluded joyfully. Relief swept through Lilly's entire body like a flood, and she leaned against the wall and let out a shaky breath.

Misinterpreting Lilly's sigh for one of disapproval, Vera glanced at her. "What? He ain't said nothin' about them bein' exclusive…"

"Yeah, like Valens is gonna tell you who he's seein'. And even if he did, what makes you think the type of chick that'd go out with him'd want anything to do with you?" Miller asked, raking her eyes up and down Vera's bulky form.

_Well, she's right about that, _Lilly mused, smiling to herself and refilling her coffee mug.

"'Cause I'm smarter," Vera replied without missing a beat, as he lifted the lid of the donut box, fished out the last remaining donut, and took a large, triumphant bite. "Quick, too."

"Dammit, Vera!" Miller cried, raising herself up to her full height and placing her hands on her hips as she attempted to level him with a steely gaze.

"You snooze, you lose, Miller," he chortled, licking sugar off his lips. "That donut's been sittin' here in front of you for a full five minutes, and accordin' to the rules, after five, it's fair game." He took another huge bite.

Miller looked at Lilly, wordlessly asking for arbitration.

"I gotta side with Vera on this one," Lilly replied casually. "You didn't so much as glance at it."

Miller sighed reluctantly and swore again as the still-chuckling Vera left the kitchen with his prize.

"Sometime," Miller said with a smile," you gotta tell me where you met this Casanova guy. He's a damn sight better than the Neanderthals we got around here." She tossed one last fiery glare at Vera as he shoved the rest of the donut into his mouth, and, with a wink in Miller's direction, licked the last traces of sugar glaze from his fingers.

* * *

After a couple of interviews and lunch, Lilly and Scotty headed to their respective apartments to pack. As Lilly considered the contents of her suitcase, she realized with a grin that this was probably going to be rather unlike her previous business trips, and began to pack accordingly, feeling almost giddy with the heady excitement that caused her blood to sing through her veins. That morning with Vera in the kitchen…that had been way too close, and she was eager to have some time with Scotty away from their nosy colleagues. Lilly knew that telling them wasn't the answer…hell, no…this relationship wouldn't last that long, she knew, and she realized, with a sudden chill that evaporated her joy for a moment, that the end of this, when it inevitably came, was going to be painful enough, and she didn't want to add being the subject of malicious office gossip and the risk to her career to the mix. But it was getting damn hard to hide.

Brushing the unpleasant thoughts from her mind, Lilly crossed to her closet and plucked her favorite little black dress from the rack; the strapless one that she'd sworn was far too short when she'd seen it on the hanger in the store, but the woman helping her had insisted it would do wonders for her long legs. And, she'd realized when trying it on, it had. It was one of the few impulse clothing purchases Lilly had ever made, and her heart raced as she tried to picture how Scotty would react. No, scratch that. She knew exactly how he'd react, and that made her heart race all the more, and the giddiness returned in a flash.

Lilly heard an indignant meow behind her, and as she turned from the closet, she noticed that Olivia had somehow crept into the room and was now curled up inside her suitcase, fixing her with a fiery glare. Lilly burst into giggles.

"Sorry, sweetie," she cooed, lifting the orange tabby off her clothes and brushing away the clinging fur. "You can't come. Besides, we all know how much you hate car trips."

Olivia merely glared at her again, hopped down from the bed, and pranced out, tail in the air.

"I love you, too, Olivia," Lilly called, still giggling as she zipped her suitcase. Suddenly, on impulse, she remembered something she'd tucked away in a bottom drawer. She wasn't much for fancy lingerie, but she did have a little black lacy number that, with a wicked grin, she realized Scotty would probably like very much. She unzipped the suitcase, stuffed the garment in, and zipped it again, just as she heard her front door creak open and Scotty call his greeting up the stairs.

* * *

Scotty hadn't taken long to pack. Just a couple of suits, something to wear on the date he hoped to God they'd have time for, and that was about it. Grinning, he realized that if this weren't a work trip, he probably wouldn't have bothered to pack clothes at all. _This is a business trip, Valens, _he reminded himself. _You can mix business and pleasure, but you gotta do the business part first._

Lilly practically skipped down the stairs, grinning widely.

"Ready?" he asked, returning her smile as they stepped outside.

"Oh, yeah," Lilly replied, locking the door behind her.

"Cats mad that you're leavin'?" Scotty inquired.

"They'll get over it," Lilly shrugged, as they headed down the steps to the car. She threw her suitcase in the trunk, and when she and Scotty were both inside, she breathed a sigh of relief, then burst into giggles.

"What?" Scotty asked with an incredulous glance as he started the car.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Lilly laughed. "I feel like I'm playing hooky."

"Well, we do have a legit reason for goin'," Scotty reminded her. "But this does feel kinda…naughty." He arched his eyebrows suggestively as he pulled away from the curb and started down the street.

"Yeah…naughty…" she agreed. Meeting his smoldering gaze, Lilly felt the desire start to burn inside her, and realized it was going to be a very long afternoon. She forced herself to look away.

"It'd feel a whole lot less naughty if Boss had gotten his way," Scotty continued.

"Yeah? How?" Lilly asked.

"He wanted me to bring Vera," Scotty answered, a teasing grin lifting the corners of his mouth.

Lilly stared at him for a moment. "Oh, God," she finally answered, then burst into giggles again.

Scotty looked at her in amazement. Lilly Rush was giggling. Who'd have thought the Ice Queen of Homicide had it in her? A surge of joy swelled in his heart as he realized that he was in for another several hours of the relaxed, carefree Lilly he'd seen in Nashville. Scotty congratulated himself on the road trip, which shone in his mind as the most brilliant idea he'd ever had.

Suddenly, Lilly sobered. "Why'd Boss want you to take Vera?"

Scotty cast a cautious glance in her direction as he answered. "Well, 'cause you and I kinda fought for a whole week when we got back from Nashville," he reminded her.

Lilly couldn't help laughing again. "That seems like such a long time ago," she commented.

"It was only two and a half weeks," Scotty replied, after doing some quick calculations.

Lilly was stunned. "Really?"

"Yeah," Scotty answered, equally amazed. "Just think...three weeks ago, you were just my pain in the ass partner."

"And you were my cocky, arrogant, annoying little twerp of a partner," she retorted, shoving him playfully.

"Wonder if we woulda ever hooked up if we hadn't gotten drunk in Nashville," Scotty mused.

"Guess we'll never know now," Lilly replied.

Scotty stole another glance at the beautiful blonde beside him and couldn't believe his luck. "I'm kinda glad it happened this way," he said.

"Me too," she echoed softly as Scotty gunned the accelerator and merged onto the turnpike, both of them more than happy to leave Philadelphia and their meddlesome co-workers behind.

* * *

Shortly after their arrival in Manhattan, they checked into their hotel, noting with wry amusement that, as in Nashville, their rooms were just down the hall from one another. Scotty glanced up in surprise when Lilly took her suitcase into her own room. "You actually plannin' on sleepin' in there tonight?" he asked with a wicked grin.

Lilly shot him a dazzling smile. "Nah…just leavin' my stuff. Think it might look a little suspicious if it doesn't even look like my room's been used."

Scotty arched his eyebrows. "Used, huh? So…you're sayin'…you want your room to look…used?"

Lilly looked at him blankly. "Yeah," she answered, confusion creasing her brow.

Scotty took a few steps toward her. "Well…then, let's…use it," he suggested with a teasing grin.

Realization dawned on Lilly as Scotty closed the gap between them, lifted her up, and spun her around in a circle. Peals of laughter rang from her throat as she clung to his broad shoulders for support. He put her down then, looked deep into her eyes, and then slipped his hands underneath her hair and pulled her close to him, devouring her lips with his. Mirth quickly melted into desire, and their lips never broke contact as they stumbled into Lilly's room and closed the door behind them.

* * *

After making Lilly's room look…thoroughly used…Scotty and Lilly headed for the apartment of Lauren Grant, Aaron Simpson's mysterious sister. Lauren didn't seem fazed a bit that Aaron's body had been discovered, and Scotty recognized the look in her hazel eyes as one that said she'd given up and moved on a long time ago. Lauren explained that Aaron was the reason she'd left Philly and moved to New York. Her parents refused to give up hope, and Lauren said she just couldn't live that way. Her giving up had so fractured the relationship with her parents that they hadn't spoken for almost two decades.

Lauren had no idea who would have done any of this, of course, but she did point Scotty and Lilly to another Philadelphia transplant, Lanna McCulley, Aaron's former fiancée. Scotty and Lilly had exchanged a significant glance at this previously unknown information, but upon further investigation, Scotty found it buried in a couple pages of Bradford's notes that he hadn't gotten to yet. He'd started to launch into a tirade about it in on the subway as they headed for Lanna's apartment, but Lilly had silenced him with a kiss. _Liver fire, my ass, _he'd thought in amazement. _One kiss from Lil, and I completely forget that I'm even pissed off, let alone why. _It was a new and interesting way to deal with his anger, one that he fully intended to explore further when they finished their day's work.

Upon arrival at her apartment, Lilly noticed that Lanna McCulley had aged gracefully over the years, her hair maintaining its fiery hue. Now married with three children, she seemed happy and content with her life.

"So what can you tell us about Aaron Simpson?" Lilly asked, taking a sip of the coffee Lanna had offered them.

Lanna laughed. "Aaron Simpson? Haven't thought about him for years," she said. "You guys finally find him or something?"

"Pulled his body out of a construction site over the weekend," Scotty explained.

Shock crossed Lanna's features, and she lowered her coffee cup. "Oh, my God," she said. "I…always just thought he'd run off somewhere to find himself, or whatever. I had no idea he was dead." Tears filled her eyes as she pressed further. "And you guys think it was murder?"

Lilly nodded. "We wanted to talk to you about your relationship with him."

"Wait…" Lanna sputtered. "You think I killed him?"

"What can you tell us that'd make us think otherwise?" Scotty asked, leaning his arms on his knees.

Lanna looked uncertainly from one detective to the other, sighed, and began her story. She and Aaron had been high school sweethearts, and after a messy breakup, they'd reunited in dramatic fashion and quickly become engaged. But when Aaron didn't show up for the rehearsal dinner, Lanna went looking for him and found him in bed with her best friend. Scotty glanced over at Lilly and saw a familiar steely glare in her eyes.

"So…that must have stung pretty bad," Lilly pressed.

Lanna looked up in surprise. "Well, yeah…of course it did…my fiancé left me for my best friend. Anybody'd be furious over it."

"Furious enough to kill?" Lilly asked, eyeing Lanna suspiciously.

"I'll admit the thought crossed my mind when I saw them together, but I never did anything about it," she replied. After a pause, she continued. "Aaron and I never should have gotten back together in the first place. We were young and stupid, and if I'd married him, I'd have stayed in Fishtown and never made a name for myself. I'm a writer now, like I always wanted to be…and none of that would have been possible if I'd stayed with Aaron. I'd have wound up…waiting tables at some dingy bar or something for the rest of my life," she said with a slight laugh.

Lilly ignored her casual tone. "Where were you the night of the murder?"

Scotty looked up in surprise as a thick cloud of tension descended over the room. This had seemed, to him anyway, to be a perfectly normal interview with someone who was rapidly crossing herself off the list of suspects.

Lanna, also surprised, fumbled for words. "I..um…I was at work, I think…I worked at a radio station… back then…but I don't even think it exists anymore, and I wouldn't have any idea where to find the station manager." She glanced up helplessly.

Lilly got that look in her eyes again, and an alarmed Scotty jumped in. "Can you think of anybody else who'd wanna hurt him?" he asked, ignoring the icy glower Lilly shot in his direction.

Lanna just shook her head.

Scotty and Lilly glanced at one another, rose to their feet, and handed Lanna their cards. "We'll be seeing you again," Lilly added pointedly, and they turned to leave.

**A/N: The calm before the storm…**


	20. The Fightin' Side Of Me

**A/N: Remember those dollops of angst I promised? Well…it's Scotty, y'all, and he wouldn't be Scotty without some angst. I've tried my best to keep this very close to show canon, but I may have missed something. Apologies in advance.**

**Disclaimer: Oh, believe me, I freakin' don't own these characters. If I did, certain story arcs on the show would never have happened.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: The Fightin' Side of Me**

The tension that had settled over them in Lanna McCulley's living room followed them out of her apartment and down the street as they walked back to their hotel. Scotty had no idea what was going on with the enigmatic blonde beside him; he knew Lil could be moody, but this was pushing it. A mere few hours ago, they'd been laughing in the car on their way to Manhattan, they'd been whirling in a circle in the hotel hallway, they'd been practically tearing the sheets off the bed in Lilly's room. And now…now she walked in stony silence, not saying much of anything. Scotty suspected it had something to do with the case, but he couldn't for the life of him think what, so he remained silent. He knew better than to push Lil when she was in a mood like this.

They made it all the way back to the hotel lobby before Lilly spoke.

"That was enlightening," she finally said, grim determination in her blue eyes. Her declaration was punctuated by the ding of the elevator, announcing its arrival.

Scotty cast her a cautious glance as the doors slid open and they stepped in. "Guess so, if you call rulin' out a suspect and hittin' a dead end enlightening," he responded lightly, trying to diffuse the situation. He pressed the button for their floor.

The elevator doors closed as Lilly looked over at Scotty incredulously. "Ruling her out?"

"What, you think she's our doer?" Scotty asked with a chuckle. "She ain't got murder in her."

"Well, that's a nice theory. You got evidence to back it up?" Lilly demanded, as the elevator dinged and the doors opened once more. "He cheated on her," she reminded him.

Scotty looked at her in disbelief. Usually, with suspects, they were on the same wavelength. He couldn't remember the last time they'd reached such vastly different conclusions about a case. Well, okay, he could, but that was completely different. That was right after Nashville. Their problem then was certainly not the problem now.

"So he cheated on her…so what? She's obviously over him," Scotty explained, fishing his key out of his pocket and sliding it into the lock.

"Well, I can guarantee you she hasn't always been. You have to think about her mindset back then, Scotty. That's what you're supposed to do as a detective," she replied icily. Scotty held the door open for her and she stepped inside.

"What I don't get is how you can look at somebody, with zero evidence, and instantly decide they're guilty," Scotty retorted as he followed her into the room, the anger beginning to rise. She had a lotta nerve, questioning his detective skills.

"And what I don't get is how you can look at someone, with zero evidence, and instantly believe everything they have to say!" Lilly shot back, hands on her hips. "But I guess I should know by now to expect that from you. You only see what you wanna see. You're falling for an act again, Scotty."

Scotty was dumbfounded. _Oh…tell me we ain't goin' there…tell me she didn't just say that…_

"Wake up, Valens!" Lilly continued in response to his astounded stare. "Lanna's got no alibi and motive in spades. She was engaged to this guy, and he cheated on her, with her best friend, right before the wedding! She'd planned to spend the rest of her life with him, and he just…just left her! Found someone else!" she burst out, flinging her arms to the sides.

"She got over it, Lil," Scotty argued quietly, but intensely, desperate to believe they were talking about the case and nothing more. "She found somebody else, moved on, got married, had kids, has a great career…that's what you do when life doesn't work out the way you planned. You move on."

"Yeah, that's it…grieve for all of five minutes and then move on to the first piece of ass you see. That certainly worked well for you," Lilly spat, eyes blazing.

_Oh, she wants to go there? Then we're goin' there all right ._

"For God's sake, Lil, get over it already," he burst out in exasperation. "Are you seriously gonna be mad about that for the rest of your life?"

Lilly exploded. "Wouldn't you be? It was two weeks before my wedding, and I got the privilege of coming home to find that bastard screwing _my sister! _And you slept with her practically the second she showed up! You know, maybe whoring it out with Christina fixed all _your _problems, Scotty, but her being the whore she is _caused _mine!_" _She stood there, anger and hurt shimmering in her eyes, her chest rising and falling with her rapid breaths.

Scotty was livid. "How many times do I gotta apologize for that, Lil? You know, lookin' back, I ain't even sure I regret it all that much!"

He expected Lilly to scream at him again, maybe to hit him, to throw something, but what he didn't expect was for her to just stand there, stock-still, her blue eyes wide with shock and slowly filling with tears.

_Oh, shit._ Scotty froze. He'd hit below the belt, and he knew it. He fumbled for something to say…fumbled for something, _anything_…to take away that look in her eyes, to go back, rewind the tape, and erase what he'd just said. "Lil…" he began.

She didn't wait for him to continue. Without another word, she turned on her heel and slammed the door behind her.

Scotty threw it back open and started to run after her. "Lil," he repeated weakly, but he knew by the second slamming door he heard that it was futile. Returning to his room, he slid down to the floor, and just sat there, banging his head softly against the back of the door.

This was the first time Lilly had actually told him what had caused the rift between her and Christina those many years ago. Chris had hinted at it; she'd started to go into it, but Scotty had stopped her, able to guess what had happened, but figuring he didn't need to know the details, since they wouldn't make a damn bit of difference anyway. He was gonna see who he was gonna see, and to hell with anyone who tried to tell him different. But now…now that he'd finally heard the details, straight from the obviously still-wounded heart of the woman he loved…chunks of reality fell like bricks with each thunk of his head on the door.

She'd been engaged; two weeks away from pledging her life to another man.

And that bastard, whoever he was, had been stupid enough to cheat on her.

With Christina.

And Lilly had seen it all.

And then Chris had shown up, and of all the women in Philadelphia, all the women anywhere, the one Scotty chose to turn to for comfort had been the same woman who had stabbed Lilly in the back all those years ago.

And he'd lied about it to her face.

And now he'd just told her he didn't regret it.

His head started to spin with the gravity of the situation, as the full force of his mistake crashed down on him. _Way to go, Valens. Another epic screw-up._

When Chris had first arrived, before he knew any of the story, Scotty had thought the trouble between the sisters had been blown way out of proportion. He should have known it was a guy from the moment he'd seen that look in Lilly's eyes, but, stupid as he was, he thought it had been just something silly and trivial, some…girl…thing. He never did get how girls could hold grudges for years and years. Whenever he and Mike disagreed about something growing up, they'd scream at each other for a while, throw a few punches more often than not, then shake hands and go back to being best buds again, all in the space of about twenty minutes. But girls…girls could hold onto things for_ever_.

With a sigh, Scotty rose to his feet, ripped off his tie, flung it on the bed, and absently undid the top couple buttons of his shirt, then started to pace the room, rolling up his sleeves, raking his hands through his hair, and wishing fervently that the room had a minibar so he could drown his sorrows in scotch. _Or maybe Southern Comfort_, he mused wryly. That had been his drink of choice back then, back in his life's most hideously painful chapter. Unwelcome memories were beginning to resurface, memories he'd long ago stuffed into a box and hidden on the highest shelf in the evidence warehouse of his mind, memories he'd give anything to be able to erase completely so they wouldn't keep resurfacing, like they were starting to now.

Elisa had just committed suicide, though at the time, Scotty was so deep in denial that he couldn't accept it, wouldn't accept it. No fuckin' way would Elisa have jumped, he thought. She hated heights, she didn't like going down to the river alone, and it was against everything those sour-faced nuns had drilled into them since they were kids. Besides, her sweet, trusting nature combined with her cruel delusions made Elisa easy prey for any one of the thousands upon thousands of psychotic scumbags that roamed the streets, despite Scotty's best efforts to stop them. That was what he'd feared ever since she got sick, not suicide. The thought that she might take her own life had never even occurred to him.

During those last few months with Elisa, the good day-bad day roller coaster had gotten even more taxing than normal, especially with the added strain of his new job in Homicide. That one day, though…that one horrible day when she went missing, and Scotty had spent hours driving around the city, almost in hysterics, looking for her everywhere, half expecting to see her battered body around every corner…that had been the last straw. He'd finally found her that evening, alive but clearly not well, sitting on the same damn porch step on their old block that he'd seen her sitting on the first time he'd ever laid eyes on her. He'd been harsh with her, far more so than he'd intended, but he was powerless to stop the frustration and hurt from bleeding into his broken voice. He was sick with worry, weak with relief, and completely and totally exhausted. It was all he could do to just remain standing. Still, he soldiered on, telling her they'd just go back to the doctor and get stronger meds. Surely there was still something he could do; still some way he could fix it.

But when Elisa had looked up at him with that soulful gaze and told him it wouldn't get better, Scotty had been forced, for the first time, to admit the truth. In that moment, as he sat down on the step next to her, the fatigue, the stress, and the heartbreak of the last few years began to wash over him in a flood. And then…then she'd reminded him of the night they met, that hot summer night when everything was so innocent, so pure, so perfect. At that moment, something deep inside him shattered into a million pieces, and he'd laid his head in her lap, right there in the middle of the goddamned street, and just sobbed helplessly for all they had lost, for all the dreams they'd had that would never come true. He couldn't fix it. He couldn't save her. Despite all the years of trying, he'd failed her.

Scotty had broken things off shortly after that, hating himself more than he ever thought possible for abandoning her, but the pain of staying with her was just too great. Elisa, for her part, had insisted it was for the best. He had his whole life ahead of him, she'd said, and he needed to go out and live it. It made perfect sense, and part of him agreed with her wholeheartedly. And yet, despite everything, he still went to visit her occasionally. He supposed that even though he knew the future they'd spent half their lives dreaming about would never happen, he still couldn't quite let her go. Couldn't imagine life without her. Being without her hurt worse than being with her, because she was a part of him; she was his heart and soul. And when she died, an unimaginably large part of him seemed to have gone over the bridge into that river with her.

He'd slogged through the wake and the funeral, spent some time with Elisa's family, but their grief combined with his own was more than he could bear. Every tear they shed was like acid on his wounds, reminding him how he'd failed to protect her, how he hadn't been able to fix her, how it was all his fault. None of them blamed him, of course. They'd all been so kind to him, so quick to try and assuage his guilt, to tell them it was the disease, it was her demons, it was nobody's fault. But Scotty knew better.

At least he still had work. He desperately needed to get back in the ring, to go back to snatching scumbags off the streets, to prove to himself that he wasn't a total failure, and to have a few hours every day when he couldn't think about Elisa, when the grief couldn't overwhelm him, when he could just be Detective Scotty Valens again.

That seemingly simple task had proven impossible. Everyone at work had treated him with kid gloves, tiptoeing around him and looking at him like he was some kind of fucking accident victim. When they said anything at all, it was to ask him how he was doing, and all that did was remind him that his heart was broken, to shove in his face the very thing he wanted desperately not to think about. Even Lil…she'd looked at him with those giant blue eyes, and he'd known she just wanted to help, but he couldn't reach out to her. Because she'd make him deal with it. She wouldn't let him bury the pain. Their connection, even back then, was too deep, too real. He couldn't pretend with her. And pretending was exactly what he wanted to do.

Work...hadn't gone well. His first interview back had been a disaster, but that wasn't entirely his fault. That bastard cult leader, whatever the hell his name was, Maurice something, had chosen that day, that moment, to hop up on a damned soapbox about how suicide was for cowards, how it's a "screw you" to the world, and tells your loved ones that they've failed. That last accusation was like a knife to Scotty's already lacerated soul, but to have someone else say what he'd been shrieking at himself for months…finally, he had a target for his anger. He'd slammed that smirking face into the table, over and over, seeing red, roaring nonsensically, finally having to be restrained by the prison guards.

Stillman had suspended him after that, and Scotty couldn't use work as a refuge anymore. Completely lost, he alternated wandering the streets aimlessly with holing up in his apartment, rearranging furniture, skipping rope, avoiding phone calls, suffering through visits from Stillman and Jeffries, trying desperately not to succumb to the tears that constantly threatened, because once they started, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to stop them. Finally, though, the dam broke late one morning, and he'd lain on his bed sobbing uncontrollably for what seemed like hours, and had then drifted off to the first peaceful sleep he'd had in weeks.

When he woke up, he felt marginally better, but the picture of Elisa on his bedside table had caused unbidden tears to spring once more to his already stinging eyes. He hadn't thought he had any left. Suddenly annoyed with the whole situation, he'd showered for the first time in days, thrown on some clothes, and stormed out of his apartment, headed for the one place where he knew he might find a friendly face, someone who'd offer him a warm smile and a free beer, someone who'd treat him just like anyone else, who wouldn't tiptoe around him, who wouldn't look at him like he was an accident victim or give him that "Poor Scotty" look, who might possibly make him forget, just for a few moments, how much it hurt.

Someone who would let him pretend.

Sure enough, he'd found Christina Rush. She was fun. She was hot. She was simple, at least at first. She asked few questions, expected little in return, and, like the alcohol he consumed in alarming quantities over the next few weeks, numbed his pain to the point where he could function again. Despite all that followed afterward, he'd always be grateful to her for that.

To say that Lilly had objected to his method of coping would be putting it mildly. She'd frozen him out, given him that damned Ice Queen look for weeks, and ultimately thrown the book at him, gotten more upset than he'd ever seen her, and he was completely mystified as to why. Yes, her fiancé had cheated on her with Chris, but Scotty couldn't for the life of him see how that applied, in any way, shape, or form, to him. He and Lil weren't a couple, for God's sake, and the thought that they might one day be had never even crossed his mind. They were partners, friends, but that was it. Oh, sure, the thought had occurred to him that maybe Lilly was so upset because she had feelings for him, but he had dismissed that idea as quickly as it came. Lilly Rush with designs on him? The thought made him laugh out loud. And since Lil hadn't bothered to give him any convincing reason why he should stay away from Chris, just vague warnings laced with what sounded like years of bitterness, he figured it wasn't any of his business.

All Lilly would tell him was that Chris was a train wreck, that she was trouble. At the time, Scotty had ignored her, brushing it off as sour grapes. Once Chris finally told him what had happened, it had given him pause, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he frankly couldn't give a rat's ass about anyone's pain but his own. What Chris had done to Lil was a long time ago. Nine years back. His heartbreak was fresh, new, and paralyzing in its intensity. He was nearly drowning in it, barely able to tread water in the raging ocean of grief, despair, helplessness, and self-loathing that threatened to swallow him up, wave after horrifying wave, and Chris…Chris was his life preserver. She'd kept his head above water until he was strong enough to swim on his own. Lilly hadn't been where he was, she hadn't lived through this. How the hell did she think she'd earned the right to tell him how to cope with it? Christina was the first bit of happiness, the first bit of…_normal…_ he'd had in God alone knew how long…how dare Lilly try to take that away from him because of something that happened nine years ago?

And, to Scotty's chagrin, everyone else seemed to have sided with Lil. Even Vera, _Nick_ _Vera_, of all people, had tried to talk him out of it. Vera, the one who was least likely to get involved in the lives of his colleagues in any capacity beyond teasing; the one who was least likely to judge him or make him talk about how he was doing; the one who was always up for some boozing and cruising for chicks, no questions asked; the one to whom wedding vows were more of an obstacle to overcome than a commitment to be kept. Vera had told him it was a bad idea. _When the hard stuff happens, I say walk it off any way you can, _he'd said. _But what you can't do is Rush's sister. Anyone but that….it's what you call ill-advised. _

Vera's stern, repeated warnings should have given Scotty some clue that he was doing something stupid, but he didn't give a rat's ass about that, either. It was nobody else's goddamned business how he chose to deal with his pain, and none of them had the right to police his actions. The more people tried to warn him away from Lilly's little sister, the more stubborn he got, the more he dug in his heels, the more appealing that little sister became. He was gonna walk this off the only way he knew how, and to hell with anyone who tried to stop him.

They had all been right, of course. Chris was a train wreck, and Scotty soon discovered that he, a cop, a Homicide detective, for God's sake, had been harboring a fugitive from justice in his own apartment. He'd known Chris came with baggage, but he'd figured it'd been like Lil's: alcoholic mom, absent dad. That kind of baggage he could deal with. He had no idea Chris was running from the law, was using him to escape justice in New York. And he'd believed her. He'd bought her _poor me, I was just doing my job_ story hook, line, and sinker, and had even defended her to the NYPD detective who'd come to investigate. The cop in Scotty knew he should have thrown the book at her; should have handcuffed her and turned her in himself, but the other part…that damned stupid other part of him that was always and forever getting him into trouble…that part wanted to save her, to defend her, to prove her innocence, or, failing that, to whisk her away someplace so the two of them could escape all the shit they'd been dragged through and just be _normal_ for once in their miserable lives. And that part of him had prevailed.

But Chris, having thoroughly played him like the fool he supposed he was, took off that very day with a one word note and nary a backward glance. Karma sure had bitten him in the ass that night as he found her note, the second goodbye note in four months, and Scotty realized he'd been taken for a ride, had fallen for an act. In the days that followed, he'd spent many a long hour staring out his bedroom window into the dark streets, wondering how the hell he'd gotten himself into this mess, cursing himself for his unimaginable stupidity. And the woman he ached for, the woman he'd give anything in the world to hold again, to see her smile, to hear her laugh, even just for a moment…well…it sure as hell wasn't Christina. You don't get over the love of your life by immediately latching onto someone else, and he'd been deluding himself to think otherwise.

Ultimately, he'd apologized to Lilly, though it had taken some serious pride-swallowing, and Lil, to her credit, hadn't given him too much crap about it since. They'd gone back to being partners, eventually back to being friends, and he had, for the most part, anyway, managed to regain her trust. He'd had no idea that he would ever, in a million years, fall head over heels in love with her. Scotty figured this mess would just go away, would never come back to bite him in the ass again, would never come back to screw with his happiness, to mock him with more shrieking taunts of his stupidity, to haunt him two years later.

_Yeah, well…boo, _he mused bitterly.

After wracking his brain for maybe an hour, Scotty still had no fucking idea how the hell he was going to fix this, how he could even look Lil in the eyes again. _Will she see me, the guy who loves her? _he wondered. _Or will she see the guy who lied to her face and slept with her sister?_

With an exasperated sigh, Scotty decided to give it up for the night. Brooding alone in his hotel room was losing its luster, and brooding at a dimly lit bar with a nice glass, or two, or three, of Southern Comfort was suddenly sounding far more appealing. He figured he'd earned it. Besides, those damned tears were making their unwelcome presence known.

After a glance down the hallway to confirm that Lilly was nowhere to be seen, he skulked down to the hotel bar to try and forget the pain. Again.

**A/N: Jeez, this was a long chapter. Guess Scotty felt like talking.**

**I found some videos on YouTube that really inspired me in preparing this chapter. They are: Forgiven (Scotty & Elisa) by jadomil, Scotty's Story by sukkerspinnpinn, and Cold Case--Lilly/Christina/Scotty "Collide" by Camzml. Theyr'e all very moving and well done, so go check them out!**


	21. Old Enough To Know Better

**A/N: Oh my goodness, y'all, Lilly had even more to say on the subject than Scotty. Yikes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just trying to dig them out of the rubble that's still left over from the mess the actual owners made back in Season 2.**

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**Chapter Twenty-one: Old Enough to Know Better**

Lilly began the next morning in a foul mood, though her anger had been tempered slightly by exhaustion and loneliness. After walking the streets of Manhattan for hours the night before, attempting to sort things through, she'd given up and gone to bed, but sleep had eluded her. Without even the benefit of Tripod and Olivia curled up next to her, her bed had seemed cold and empty, and no amount of fiddling with the thermostat had alleviated it.

Finally, with a frustrated sigh, she resigned herself to getting up for the day. She climbed out of bed, flung the covers up, and headed for the bathroom, hoping that a shower would help. It was early yet, but she hoped to review some of her notes from the interview the day before, hoping to find some tiny scrap of evidence, some small piece of the puzzle, something, anything, to prove to herself that she wasn't crazy, that she wasn't reading too much into things, that Lanna McCulley really was guilty of killing Aaron.

Because if personal issues were getting in the way of her detective work…

Lilly shuddered and banished the thought from her mind as she turned the water on and started to undress.

She stepped into the shower, grateful for the hot water, for the warmth it brought to her chilled bones and frosty heart, but found her thoughts turning, yet again, to the very subject she'd hoped to avoid, but knew she couldn't. The night before, with Scotty…God. She hadn't realized how bitter she still was about the whole mess with Christina. One minute, she was interviewing Lanna McCulley, business as usual, and the next minute, when she found out Aaron had cheated on Lanna with someone close to her, all the horrible memories of eleven years ago flooded back. Patrick…in her bed…with her sister…her sister who then showed up unannounced in Philly nine years later...

…and immediately sank her claws into Scotty.

All the buried hurt and resentment surfaced, right there in the middle of the interview, and Lilly had barely been able to look at him. She was dating the guy who had lied to her face, who had gone behind her back, who had slept with her sister. She'd hoped he'd understand it, that he'd pull out those famous Scotty Valens detective skills and just…_get_ why she was mad, without her having to say anything, but all he'd done was that whole "Poor me, I'm the victim" bullcrap that he'd done two years ago when Christina had showed up in the first place. And so she'd exploded, told him way more than she wanted to, way more than he needed to know, and then he'd twisted the knife in her soul when he'd made that comment about not even regretting it. Lilly had to get out of there, had to flee the scene before he knew how much he'd hurt her, before Scotty could see the kind of memories he was stirring up.

After Lilly had caught Patrick and Chris together, she'd kicked them both out, telling them she never wanted to see either one of them again. And for nine years, she got her wish. She'd moved to new apartment, thrown all her energy into her job, and tried, as best she could, to forget what had happened, to move on. And, for nine years, it had worked. Until that one day, that one day when Lilly arrived at work…and immediately saw Christina standing there, chatting up her partner.

Seeing her sister for the first time in nine years, all the old, painful memories were suddenly as fresh as if the whole god-awful mess had happened yesterday, and Lilly had hit the roof. After all Chris had ruined, all the damage she'd caused, she'd had the nerve to show up, at _work_, for God's sake, and act like nothing had happened. Then, she'd had the audacity to show up at Lilly's apartment, her one place of refuge, her sanctuary, her home, uninvited, to ask if she could crash there. Lilly hadn't even known that Chris knew where she lived.

While she was still reeling from this particular shock, Christina had gone even further, had the gall to actually suggest that Lilly should forgive her for what she'd done. Lilly had almost laughed at that, like she'd laughed at Patrick's declaration of love nine years back, but instead had gone into interrogator mode, turning the question around on Chris.

"Would you?" Lilly had asked simply.

Chris, after a pause, had said no, she wouldn't. Lilly had shut the door in her face then, and tried her best to forget that Christina was back, tried to ignore the guilt she felt for turning her sister away. After nine years of silence, nine years of contentment with having no contact, nine years of being out of her life, all of a sudden Christina was back, wanting to patch things up? That couldn't possibly be all there was to it. There had to be a reason Chris was back in Philadelphia. There had to be a reason she couldn't go back to New York, and Lilly wasn't buying that whole…creepy stalker ex-boyfriend story. There was something else, Lilly just knew it, and whatever it was, she wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.

During the George Marks case, though, Lilly's protective big sister instincts had taken over, the guilt had become too much to bear, and, despite the years of bitter experience that screamed at her not to, that she was just falling for Christina's "poor helpless me" routine again, just setting herself up to be played like a fiddle once more, she'd relented and let her sister stay. Lilly knew what was out there, though she desperately wished she didn't; she knew about the thousands of psychotic scumbags like George who were just waiting to make mincemeat out of someone like her sister, and despite all that Chris had done, like it or not, she was family. So, Lilly reluctantly gave in and slid a key across the bar at McGinty's, and Chris had won the battle with the cats for the day bed.

When the news of Elisa's death reached the squad room, Lilly had momentarily forgotten all about her issues with Christina. Her tossing and turning until the wee hours had nothing to do with her sister, or the fact that her apartment had been broken into and graffiti scrawled across the wall. No, Lilly had been awake worrying about Scotty. Heartbroken for him, she ached to be able to do something, anything, to alleviate his pain, even though she knew that wasn't possible. It had shocked her how devastated she was, how she longed to take on his suffering for herself. She'd been through hell and back already, so what was one more hurt to add to her list? But Scotty…Lilly didn't know the details of his life, but the shocked expression she'd seen on his face that one night when she launched into a tirade about her childhood told her his family was vastly different than hers. She'd seen the tender devotion in his eyes, she'd seen the worry etched across his face countless times, she'd seen how much he loved her. Elisa's death was the biggest tragedy his life had seen, and she ached to somehow spare him from the horrible pain she knew he was in.

So when Scotty didn't reach out to her, didn't even return her phone calls, she was hurt. Was she so frosty and unapproachable that her partner, her friend, didn't even think he could reach out to her in a time like this? And then…when she'd learned that he had indeed reached out, but to_ Christina_…her blood had boiled once more. Christina didn't even _know _him…why the hell was he seeking her out? And then…then she'd seen the telltale glow on her sister's face that morning when she came in just as Lilly was leaving for work. To learn at dinner the next night that Scotty was the one responsible for it, not even a week after he buried the so-called love of his life, made her almost sick to her stomach. She couldn't believe Chris was doing this again, pulling the same damn stunt she'd pulled all those years ago. And when Chris had looked up at her with those innocent doe eyes that had ensnared so many unsuspecting men over the years…Lilly just couldn't take it anymore. She'd flung some cash on the table, sarcastically wished Chris a happy birthday, and stormed out.

And Scotty….he hadn't even been man enough to tell her about it. No, Lilly had found out the sordid details from Chris. How Scotty, the broken-hearted man who was too upset to see anyone or return her phone calls, was livin' it up with Vera at McGinty's. Scotty, who had insisted, repeatedly, that he wasn't interested in Chris, had practically been camped out at the bar for a week, drinking and flirting and falling right into Christina's trap. Not only had her partner betrayed her, and betrayed Elisa's memory, he'd lied about it, to her face. What the hell kind of partnership, what kind of friendship, could they possibly have if he didn't even respect her enough to tell her the truth? And she didn't buy his cock-and-bull story about not wanting to tell her in front of Vera and the boss. She'd seen the look that flickered in Vera's eyes, just for a moment, that one morning when she'd confronted Scotty about Chris, and he'd shot Vera that whole, "back me up, here, bro" look. If she hadn't been so royally pissed off, she would have, for a moment, felt sorry for Vera. He was caught between a heartbroken friend and Hurricane Lilly, and she didn't envy him one bit.

As she squeezed shampoo out of the little bottle, Lilly wondered why the hell this mess was bothering her yet again. Scotty had apologized a year and a half ago, and she'd buried the hatchet. She'd known why he did what he did; how could she not? The way his eyes had turned ebony and hollow with the pain, the way he'd been a dead man walking for weeks. She still hated herself for what she'd said to him that one day in the lobby of Headquarters. He'd provoked her, sure, flinging his own hurtful words, but when she'd told him that whoring it out with a cocktail waitress wouldn't bring back his dead girlfriend…the look in his eyes haunted her for days to come. She regretted what she'd said, regretted the hurt she'd brought about, regretted reminding him…and yet…deep in her soul...she didn't. Someone needed to dump a bucket of cold water on Scotty, to remind him that the love of his life hadn't even been gone a month yet, so what the hell was Chris doing in his bed? The fact that he was using sex to get over Elisa was one thing, but why the hell, of all people, did it have to be Christina?

Lilly sighed as she worked the shampoo through her hair. Until now, she'd never thought about Scotty in _that_ way, had never even allowed herself to go there. But, despite all that, she'd always thought of him as _hers._ He was _her_ partner. He was _her _friend. He was, in many ways, her equal. Lilly had never been one to keep tons of friends around, but Scotty had always had an irritating, yet somewhat endearing, way of being able to get through her walls and call her on her bullshit. She knew how much he cared for her, how protective he was over her even back then, and it had started to make her feel…safe. Comfortable. Like trusting another person, in any capacity, maybe wasn't the worst thing in the world.

So when Chris waltzed in and immediately started making the move on Scotty, Lilly had been furious. Chris was doing it again. She was coming in, invading her life, and taking what was hers. Chris and Scotty had neither one gotten it; they both thought that since Lilly didn't have feelings for him, since they weren't a couple, it shouldn't have bothered her. Neither one realized how deep the hurt really went.

Stepping out of the shower, Lilly winced as more painful memories surfaced. The real issue was that someone she trusted, someone she loved, in a way, had chosen Christina over her, yet again. Chris had always been her mom's favorite, an ill-kept secret in the Rush household. While Lilly was cleaning up her mother's mess, picking up the pieces, cooking dinner, taking care of everything, forced into adulthood far too young, Chris was living it up, footloose and fancy-free, and, despite all that, her mother made no secret about the fact that she loved Chris more. Chris was so much more fun, her mother had whined. Lilly needed to loosen up, relax, not work so much, to come down from her palace on high and stop judging her for how she chose to live her life. Lilly supposed it was because her mother and Chris were cut from the same cloth; the booze, the men, the complete lack of self-respect. Lilly had chosen a different path, and she knew they both resented her for it, but it was what she had to do. She couldn't end up like them.

And Patrick…everyone had loved Patrick. Her mother and Christina had adored him, and, though that should have been a clue for Lilly, she was too far gone on him to see anything else. She'd given him her heart and soul, and he'd promised the forever she'd never before dared to hope for, and then, that one horrible night, just like her mother…he'd chosen Christina over her.

Nine years later, that wound freshly reopened, Lilly had practically begged Scotty to stay away from Christina, at least, as close to begging as she got. In addition to hoping she could salvage the pieces of her own heart, Lilly worried about Scotty's freshly broken one. She knew that in his current state, Chris was exactly the sort of person Scotty would gravitate toward. She'd seen it before. Chris had a habit of figuring out what men needed from her and giving them exactly that, and Scotty…he was so lost, so broken…he was easy pickings for a girl like Christina. Chris would instantly see that he needed someone to latch onto, someone to save so he could prove to himself that he wasn't a total failure, and she'd do her best damsel-in-distress routine. And Lilly knew Scotty well enough to know that he'd go to the ends of the earth save her, would stop at nothing to rescue her, even more so now because of his perceived failure with Elisa. But Lilly also knew that Chris was beyond saving, because she'd tried it herself for so many long, futile years. She knew Chris would ultimately screw him over, just like she had with everyone else. She feared what Chris's inevitable betrayal would do to Scotty in his vulnerable state.

It had given her no small bit of comfort to hear rumors that Vera had agreed with her, that Nick Vera, of all people, had told Scotty to stay away from Chris, but ultimately, Scotty hadn't listened, and Lilly's heart had shattered once more. The line in the sand was drawn that day in the lobby, when he'd told her he couldn't help whatever happened nine years ago. In that moment, she knew Chris had told him all the sordid details. Her walls had been breached. He'd gotten a glimpse of one of her darkest secrets, a secret she'd spent nine years trying to forget, a secret she'd damn well wanted to keep hidden from everyone at work. Scotty, the person to whom she felt the closest, knew the source of her pain. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was knowing that Scotty knew that chapter of her life, the heartbreak, the humiliation...but he… her partner, her friend…her equal…had chosen Christina. Just like her mother. Just like Patrick. And so she'd snapped, lashed out, and said that horrible, hurtful, cruel…yet truthful, and possibly necessary, thing she'd said.

After having some time to cool off, Lilly had hoped that maybe, maybe she was wrong, that Chris would be good for Scotty, that maybe she could take the hurt out of his eyes. And she had, for a time, but, to Lilly's horror, that hollow look was replaced by a glazed one that she knew all too well. She wasn't blind. She knew Scotty was carrying a flask at work. She smelled the booze on his breath every day. Christina had enabled their mother for years, and now…now she was doing the same thing for Scotty. He was caught in a vortex, spiraling out of control, and Lilly blamed Christina for sucking him in. Scotty had lost her trust first, which was bad enough, but now he was rapidly losing her respect. Stillman seemed to have picked up on that, because suddenly she wasn't going out on interviews with Scotty as much, she wasn't seeing him all that often, and that was fine with her. If she didn't see him, she could pretend he wasn't breaking her heart.

And, of course, she'd been right about Chris all along. Scotty had gotten his comeuppance when Chris taken off without a backward glance, two steps ahead of NYPD. At first, Lilly had felt a tiny measure of satisfaction when she'd been proven right. The guilt pricked her, though, when she saw that hollow look in Scotty's eyes again. She didn't know whether he was mourning Christina, Elisa, both, or neither, and she knew better than to ask him about it. Besides, he'd pulled himself together, stopped the downward spiral, stopped coming to work smelling like a brewery, and she'd gained back a healthy amount of respect for her partner that day he talked a guy out of suicide.

At first, she'd been scared to death for him, though she'd never have admitted it. But she'd watched in amazement as he'd taken all the unimaginable pain and anger he felt toward Elisa, and, while those emotions were written all over his face and obvious in his tattered voice, instead of letting them drown him, he'd caught the wave, risen above, and turned in the best performance of his life. Despite how hurt she was, she was so proud of him. That combined with the pain she saw in his eyes over the next couple of weeks softened her heart toward Scotty enough that she was able to accept his apology the morning of the standoff with George. Considering how that day ended, she was suddenly almost weak with relief and gratitude that she'd been able to accept his apology, even offer one of her own, because she'd seen the look in Scotty's eyes that night as she emerged from George's woods. She'd known that if she hadn't come out of there in one piece, that Scotty would have been utterly destroyed.

As she finished applying her makeup and started to dry her hair, Lilly forced herself to change tracks. What had happened was in the past. She couldn't help what happened between Scotty and Chris any more than Scotty could have helped what happened all those years ago, as he pointed out during their argument that horrible day. She didn't have to be okay with it, she didn't have to agree with it or support it, but she did have to forgive Scotty for it, if they were going to move past this. She'd forgiven him in the context of being her friend and partner, but now, she realized, she had to bury the hatchet even further now that they were together, or it would eat her alive.

Digging her clothes out of her suitcase and slipping into them, Lilly realized that the mess with Christina was over. Chris was long-gone, and Lilly supposed it'd probably be another nine years or so before she waltzed back in. And Scotty…Scotty had recovered. He'd definitely regained her respect, he'd gained back most of the trust, and he clearly wasn't still hung up on Chris; she highly doubted Chris ever even crossed his mind.

With a sudden jolt of reality, Lilly realized that the only way Christina could ruin things now was if Lilly let her; if she allowed the past to get in the way of the present. And she refused to let that happen. She'd be damned if she let that little bitch win yet another battle with her. So whatever it took, Lilly was iron-clad in her determination to do it.

Her mind settled enough that she could concentrate on her work, Lilly shrugged into her blazer, grabbed the case file, and sat down at the little desk. Switching the light on, she began to pore over the notes from the interview, hoping something, anything jumped out at her, anything to point, one way or the other, to Lanna's guilt or innocence.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

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**A/N: I know, I know, I'm evil. But if I didn't cut it off there, this chapter would have gone on for**_**ever**_**. Who knew Lilly Rush could be rambly?**


	22. Tell Me Why

**A/N: You know, this road trip to New York was originally just a tiny, maybe one-or-two chapter diversion, to give them an excuse to spend some time together without their nosy co-workers around. (Not that I mind the nosy co-workers. I'm all about the nosy co-workers). But, as so many things do, this trip took on a life of its own. **

**This chapter has been both lots of fun and a huge challenge. Hopefully it will have been worth the wait.**

**Disclaimer: Sigh. I still don't own these characters. Maybe someone will buy them for me.**

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****Chapter Twenty-Two: Tell Me Why**

Lilly sighed, laid down her pen, and rose from the desk to answer the soft knock at her door. _Housekeeping comes by earlier and earlier all the time, _she grumbled inwardly. _Doesn't that "Do Not Disturb" sign mean anything anymore?_

She flung open the door and stopped dead in her tracks. It wasn't housekeeping standing in her doorway, but Scotty, holding a cup of coffee in each hand. He was dressed and ready for work, but the pallor of his skin and the dark circles under his eyes told her that he hadn't slept much better than she had.

"Peace offerin'?" he asked lightly, his lips curving upward slightly in a hopeful smile, belying the ebony hollowness of his gaze. Lilly was startled. She hadn't seen that look for two years. She'd forgotten how haunting it was.

Smiling slightly, she took the cup from his extended hand and sipped the steaming brew, her fingers wrapped around the smooth china, appreciating its soothing warmth. "Thanks," she replied simply. She stepped aside so he could come in, and he closed the door softly behind him.

Lilly's smile giving him a bit of encouragement, Scotty took a deep breath and started to launch into the speech he'd scrawled on a couple of cocktail napkins after his second shot of Southern Comfort at the hotel bar the night before. He'd transferred it to actual paper when he returned to his room and was sober enough to think straight, scribbled out and rewritten several portions of it over the course of his sleepless night, and rehearsed it several times while showering and getting ready. Upon being face to face with Lilly, though, Scotty was chagrined to discover that he couldn't remember a single word of it. Apologizing featured prominently, though, so he decided to start there.

"Look, Lil," he began uncertainly. "I'm sorry…again…for what happened…"

He paused and searched her expression, hoping to see something there besides the icy look he'd come to know and dread, and was relieved to find that she seemed to have thawed slightly since the night before. _Guess givin' her time to think it over mighta been a good call, _he mused.

"I know," she answered softly.

Avoiding his eyes, Lilly stared instead into her coffee cup, watching the wispy fingers of steam waft into the air and disappear. A question was burning within her heart; the question she'd wanted to ask Scotty for the last two years, but had been terrified to do so because she knew he didn't like to talk about it, and besides, she wasn't even sure she wanted to know the answer. Now, though…she had to ask. She continued to stare into her coffee, gathering her courage. Regardless of the answer, regardless of whether or not he wanted to talk about it…she needed to know. She didn't know whether it would hurt or help, but the _not_ knowing...that was eating her alive.

Meanwhile, Scotty was practically climbing the walls with impatience. After Lilly's brief, barely audible acknowledgement of his apology, she'd seemed absolutely riveted by the inside of her coffee cup. Whatever she was wrestling with in her head, he wished to God she'd just hit him with it already. He couldn't take much more of this; he wanted to know the price he'd have to pay for his sins of two years ago, wanted to know if there was any way on earth that, by some miracle, he hadn't screwed this up beyond all possible repair.

Lilly took a shaky breath. "Just one question…" she finally began, uncertainly, her voice wavering.

"Okay," Scotty agreed nervously.

"Of all the women in Philly…of all the women you could have…" she trailed off, nearly losing her nerve. _Dammit, Rush. Just get it over with_.

She sighed, then gathered her courage once more and met his eyes.

"Why…_her_?" she asked softly.

Scotty was taken aback. He'd been fully expecting Lilly to still be mad at him, though he didn't know whether she'd yell at him first, then freeze him out with the Ice Queen look for God alone knew how long, or else skip the yelling entirely and go directly to freezing him out. He'd been anticipating having to grovel, having to get down on his knees and beg. That's what that whole damn cocktail napkin speech had been about.

But for Lil to actually want to…talk…about Chris…he hadn't been expecting that. He hadn't been expecting the hurt he saw shimmering in the oceanic depths of her eyes. And he sure as hell hadn't been expecting the Ice Queen of Homicide to suddenly sound like a lost little girl. That plaintive tone she'd used clearly spoke of wounds far beyond the ones he'd inflicted, wounds she'd no doubt suffered with her bastard ex-fiancé, and, if he wasn't mistaken, long ago during her horrible childhood. His heart ached for her; he longed to gather her into his arms and somehow make all the hurt go away, but all he could do was stare.

Startled suddenly by the realization that Lilly was still looking at him expectantly, still waiting for a response, he brushed his upper lip with his thumb and frantically fumbled for something that would resemble an acceptable answer.

"I was just…and she was…and I needed…" he began, then trailed off, sighing in frustration.

_Try the truth, you dumbass, _his conscience suggested sarcastically, and Scotty decided to listen. Lying sure as hell hadn't worked before, so…maybe the truth would work now. Scotty knew that whatever happened, whether the truth would result in her freezing him out for the rest of her life or not, Lilly deserved nothing less.

"She…let me pretend I was okay," he admitted softly. ""I _needed _to pretend… for a while…and I needed…someone…who'd let me." Trailing off, he looked away, shaking his head slightly. He swallowed hard, bit his lower lip and raked a hand through his hair before turning back to look at her once more.

"I was _drownin_', Lil. It…it hurt so bad I couldn't see straight," he finished, his voice wavering slightly.

Lilly's head snapped up in surprise, and her heart rapidly softened at what she saw. His dark eyes shimmered with the pain of the old, stirred-up memories, and the muscle in his cheek twitched as he fought for control.

"I know," she replied simply. She was relieved, and touched, that he'd finally admitted to her what she'd ached for him to tell her two years ago. "I know it hurt, Scotty. God… I can't even imagine..." Unable to bear the pain she saw in Scotty's eyes, she looked away and took a sip of her coffee.

So lost was she in his suffering that she was startled when her own pain pricked her heart, reminding her insistently of the deep wound he'd inflicted.

"You were just trying to get through it any way you could…and I get that…but…_dammit_, Scotty…" she continued, hating herself for what she was about to say, but knowing that it had to be said. "It wasn't just someone…it was my _sister_."

His heart pounding, Scotty swallowed around the lump in his throat, the lump that seemed to have been permanently lodged there since the memories started surfacing the night before, and sighed as snatches of his speech began to come back to him.

"I know, Lil… and you got no idea how sorry I am. I said yesterday that I don't regret it…but…I do. I regret not listenin' to you…I regret lyin' to you…and I sure as hell regret hurtin' you. Believe me…causin' you more pain has always been the last thing I ever wanna do. And if I could go back and do it different…I would. I didn't wanna lose you then…and…I--I _can't _lose you now," he continued, his voice faltering, his tear-filled eyes wordlessly begging Lilly to please, please, for the love of God, forgive him and forget about this, to not make him talk about it anymore, to not make him spend any more time reliving that nightmarish chapter in his life.

"I'm…I'm sorry, too," Lilly answered softly. "For…everything."

The pain she saw radiating from Scotty's eyes touched her very soul, and she reached up a delicate hand and tenderly traced the ridge of his cheekbone. Lilly ached to do something, anything, to make that haunted, hurt-filled look go away, so she did the only thing she could think of, which was to draw his face down closer and kiss him tenderly.

The chill she'd felt all night evaporated in a heartbeat as he returned her kiss, softly at first. Scotty deepened the kiss then, threading the fingers of his free hand through her blonde hair. His racing heart swelled with love, and he felt the tidal wave of pain start to recede slightly.

They pulled apart slowly, and Scotty leaned his forehead against hers as he caressed the back of her neck. He had one more thing he needed to say…something he'd wanted to tell her for two years, ever since the day he found out how badly she'd been hurt by what had happened eleven years ago.

"Lil…" he began softly, his voice husky with emotion. "Any guy…who's stupid enough to cheat on you…doesn't even come close to deservin' you."

His words touched her soul, and she smiled at him, a bright, dazzling smile. "You think so?"

"Yeah…I do…" Scotty breathed. The kiss had sure helped, but at Lilly's smile, he suddenly found hope that everything really would be okay between them. Relief swept through his veins as they pulled apart, and he started the process of boxing up his horrible memories and placing them high on their shelf in the dark, dusty recesses of his mind, back where they damn well belonged.

Lilly could tell from the look in Scotty's eyes that they were done with their trip down memory lane, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She was suddenly desperate to move on, to change topics, to once again close the book on her sister. The old fears and insecurities had resurfaced enough, thank you, and Lilly had to file them away, lock the door, and throw away the key before they buried her alive. Dammit, Christina was not going to ruin this for her. She realized, with a stab of bitterness, that she'd probably manage that just fine on her own.

Gaining confidence, Scotty cleared his throat. "So…uh…we can go talk to Lanna again…if you want," he conceded.

Lilly smiled. "Well…I'll admit to the thought of murder crossing my mind a time or two…so I wouldn't mind another chat with her."

"Okay," Scotty agreed. Grinning, he added, " 'Sides…if it ends up bein' a wild goose chase, maybe it means we gotta stay here a little longer….maybe I can take you out to dinner tonight…" He shot her a lascivious glance, his brows arching suggestively.

Lilly was relieved to see the old sparkle starting to return to Scotty's eyes. Even though it had only been a few hours since she'd last seen it, she was startled to realize how much she missed that sparkle when it wasn't there. Impulsively, she reached up with her free hand and pulled him closer for another kiss.

That brief taste of Lilly that Scotty had gotten a few moments before had awakened his senses, and now, he felt his body instantly responding to her touch. Blindly, he set his coffee cup down on the first available surface he could find. Could have been the dresser, could have been the TV, could have been the microwave; he didn't know, and he didn't care. Somewhere in the corner of his mind, he heard another ceramic thunk that told him Lilly had found the same surface, and he realized both her hands were free when he felt them slip underneath his jacket and heard it fall to the floor.

He continued to kiss her hungrily while she deftly loosened his tie and undid the buttons of his blue dress shirt. Scotty moaned softly as he shrugged out of his shirt, shoved the blazer from her shoulders and laid her down on the bed, his nimble fingers beginning to undo the buttons of her lavender blouse, her soft whimpers thrilling him to the core. He was desperate for her.

"We have work to do," she protested weakly, although the way she was rapidly divesting him of his T-shirt and running her hands feverishly over his damp skin rendered even that slight protest completely moot.

"Work can wait," Scotty growled urgently, returning to devour her lips.

Suddenly, Lilly's phone rang, vibrating obnoxiously against the bedside table and bursting her blissful bubble, and she frantically groped for the phone as Scotty moved from her lips to her neck.

"Maybe it can't," Lilly sighed reluctantly as she checked the caller ID. Scotty ignored her, oblivious to everything except the throbbing need as he continued to partake of the delectable feast that was Lilly. _Oh, dear God, did she always taste this good?_

"Rush," she answered breathlessly as Scotty trailed blazing kisses toward her collarbone.

"Hey, Lil," Kat Miller's voice came over the line. "Will found somethin' this morning, might interest you some," she said casually.

"What's that?" Lilly replied, her detective antennae waving even as the lightning of desire was coursing through her body. She tried to swat Scotty away, but he wouldn't budge. _She's got such adorable earlobes, _he realized, and began to gently suckle her left one, toying with her earring, ignoring her feeble wordless protests.

"This friend of Aaron's…Kenny Michaelson? " Lilly could hear the rustling of papers as Miller searched for the information she wanted to share.

"Yeah?" Lilly asked, her voice sounding faraway and her heart pounding as she struggled to draw a full breath. Scotty continued his tender assault on her earlobe, and when she writhed in pleasure and snaked an arm up to grip his shoulder, she felt him smile against her skin.

"Lives in New York now," Miller replied. "Moved there a couple years after Aaron died."

"Think we oughta go talk to him?" Lilly inquired, as Scotty slowly kissed a path down the column of her neck again.

"Well, I would if I were you. Turns out the bastard used to work in construction," Miller continued.

"Really?" Lilly asked in surprise. Scotty moved to her collarbone, gently laving it with his tongue, and she closed her eyes and bit her lip to stifle a delighted moan.

"Really," Miller answered. "Got records right here that show he was workin' that site back in '79."

"We'll definitely pay him a visit," Lilly concluded, relieved that the call was over.

But Miller wasn't done yet.

"So…Lil," she asked, in a less businesslike tone. "You and Valens doin' okay up there?"

Lilly froze, her already pounding heart beating even more frantically. _Relax, Rush. There's no way in hell she can possibly know that Scotty is shirtless and on top of you, and…oh, good God…_ Scotty's fingers were rapidly undoing the remaining buttons on her blouse, his scorching lips following, branding her skin wherever they touched it and sending jolts of pleasure skittering throughout her entire body.

"We're…fine," Lilly replied, in as professional a tone as possible as Scotty trailed fiery kisses toward her stomach. "Why?" she asked warily, and stifled a gasp when his tongue dipped in her navel.

"Last time you guys went on a road trip, we had to listen to you fightin' like two bitchy cheerleaders for a solid week," Miller reminded her. She paused briefly, and it sounded to Lilly like Kat was taking a bite of something.

"We're not gonna have a repeat performance, are we?" Miller demanded around whatever she was eating.

Lilly glanced at Scotty, who met her glance with a wicked grin. "Hope not," she replied briskly.

"Well, good… 'cause if you two so much as…oh, hold on a sec, Lil," Miller interrupted herself.

Through the pounding of her pulse in her ears and the fact that Miller seemed to have covered the phone, everything was muffled, but Lilly thought she could make out a faraway-sounding, gravelly "What the hell?" and then Miller's voice retorting triumphantly, "You snooze, you lose, fatass," before returning to Lilly.

"Gotta go, Lil," she replied. "Got a donut to finish. Lemme know what happens with Kenny."

Lilly agreed, flipped her phone closed, and tossed it to the side, trying hard to glare icily at him, but finding it impossible to suppress a giggle.

"Dammit, Valens," she laughed.

"Lemme guess…Miller." he murmured against her stomach, smiling knowingly.

"Yes," she replied, trying to sound professional, but the breathy way she spoke made it sound more like encouragement. Every cell in her body was crying out for him.

"What'd she want?" Scotty asked, fumbling with the button on her pants and stripping them from her hips, following them with scorching kisses down her long, shapely legs.

"Kenny….Michaelson…" Lilly managed to get out. "He's…" she gasped in pleasure when Scotty's tongue found that deliciously sensitive spot behind her knee. She forced her mind to stop whirling around, still feebly trying to concentrate on work. "Here…in New York," she continued shakily.

"No kiddin'," Scotty commented breathlessly. The case couldn't have been further from his mind as he blazed a trail back up, back toward her chest, where he unhooked her bra, threw it behind him, and gently trailed his tongue in the valley between her breasts, then up to the hollow at the base of her throat. He planted a long, luxurious kiss there, eliciting another delighted moan from Lilly, and inhaled as deeply as he could, intoxicated by the fresh, clean scent of her skin.

"Yeah," Lilly panted, as Scotty kissed her neck once more. "Worked that…construction site…back in '79."

"Fascinatin'," Scotty replied, as he tangled his hands in her hair and claimed her lips. He knew they had work to do, knew they had a crucial interview to conduct, but he needed her. Desperately. He needed to touch her, to love her, to bury himself deep within her and claim what he'd feared he'd lost. He couldn't believe his luck; couldn't believe that Lilly was willing to forgive him, willing to let it go, and he needed to seal the promise…here and now.

Sensing his urgency, Lilly frantically undid his belt buckle as he moved over her, then slipped his pants down his muscular legs and ran her hands over the slick, sculpted planes of his back. They stopped all conversation then, the only sounds in the room their frantic breathing and impassioned moans. Scotty continued to ravage Lilly's lips, his heart roaring in his ears, as he rolled off her to one side, slid his hand downward, and tenderly slipped two fingers inside her while finding that sensitive nub with his thumb, feeling a surge of pride at how wet she was. She gasped in delight, the world spinning, as he began to rub her gently, yet urgently. She climbed fast and came hard, clenching forcefully around his fingers as she tried in vain to suppress her ecstatic screams.

Lilly was orbiting amongst the stars, fireworks exploding all around her, and as she floated back down to earth, she heard, at the edge of her conscious mind, a condom wrapper tearing. She opened her eyes to find Scotty watching her with an intense look glittering in his chocolate eyes; one that spoke of desperate need; not just lust, she could see that. He…_needed_ her, in every sense of the word.

At her dazzling smile, Scotty knew she was ready. Without hesitation, he lifted her hips and plunged into the depths of her. She wrapped her long legs around him, and he gently brushed the clinging tendrils of her hair away from her face and whispered endearments to her in Spanish. "_Mi corazon_…" he breathed. "_Mi alma_…."

Lilly had no idea what those words meant, but they were beautiful, and the look in his eyes penetrated her very soul. She threaded her fingers through his damp hair as she met his thrusts, gradually moving her hands down his back, and before she knew it, she was riding another wave of bliss, clutching his hamstrings as she cried out against his neck.

Her clenching around him felt so good he thought he'd die of ecstasy. Scotty let himself go then, let himself pound within her and erase the last vestiges of hurt those old memories had stirred up. With a deep, powerful thrust, he came, trembling with the force of it and letting out an almost unearthly moan of relief, ecstasy, and gratitude. He collapsed on top of her, smothering her with kisses. They shared one last lingering kiss before he rolled onto his back, and she pillowed her head on his chest and sighed with contentment and relief. The chill had finally left her bones, and Scotty had just managed to wash away the last traces of lingering bitterness from her soul. The whole, god-awful mess was over. Whether Lilly would ever forgive Christina remained to be seen, but as she glanced up at Scotty, his cheeks flushed with a radiant glow, his skin glistening with sweat, and a brilliant smile spreading across his face, she knew deep in her heart that she'd forgiven him. She'd let it go. It wasn't going to come between them anymore.

As Lilly returned his smile, Scotty pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to her damp forehead. He'd been downright miserable the entire night, feeling dangerously close to the way he'd felt two years before, when he'd been so lost and broken, caught in a downward spiral, and now…Lilly had rescued him. She'd snatched him out of the dark vortex, just, he suddenly realized, as she had two years before. Stillman threatening him to within an inch of his job had put the fear of God into him, he knew, but…the discovery that he'd lost Lilly's trust and respect had been the kick in the ass he'd needed to pull himself together. He couldn't bear that disappointed look he saw in her eyes whenever she glanced his way. Christina had numbed his pain, had been his life preserver in the ocean of despair, but Lilly had been the beacon of light pointing the way to shore. She had been the one who had inspired him to take those first tentative strokes, and to keep swimming until he reached dry land. Chris had helped him in hard times, it was true, but Lilly had helped him out of them. His head started to spin with this new realization, and he glanced over at Lilly in wonder.

"Thanks," he breathed meaningfully, pressing another kiss to her cheek.

"You're welcome," she replied with a smile.

"No, Lil…I mean…._thanks."_ he said again, gazing into her eyes, willing her to understand.

"For what?" she asked quizzically, arching a brow.

"For…helpin' me get back to…bein'…_me_ again," he answered huskily as he gazed into her eyes.

Comprehension dawned on Lilly, and she turned on her side and caressed his cheek with her hand. "You're welcome," she repeated against his lips, then kissed him softly once more.


	23. Counting My Lucky Stars

**A/N: Thanks for your patience! I had a really busy weekend, and I struggled with this chapter. Call it a post-angst hangover.**

**This chapter's pretty fluffy. I figure after all they've dealt with recently, they've earned it. And be forewarned, this is a long chapter, because Head Over Heels In Love! Scotty just will. Not. Shut. Up.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Cold Case. If I did, Eddie Saccardo and his stupid barbeque bribery would be booted forthwith. **

**

* * *

****Chapter Twenty-Three: Counting My Lucky Stars**

Lilly sighed in contentment once more and snuggled even closer to Scotty. They'd pulled the covers up to combat the chill as the sweat evaporated from their bodies, and she was warm, cozy, and dangerously close to falling asleep. Scotty had been sleeping for a few minutes already, and the hypnotic rhythm of his deep, even breathing was tempting her to join him.

The only thing that kept her from drifting off completely was the nagging voice of responsibility in her head, reminding her that they had an interview to conduct, a case to solve, a scumbag to handcuff and escort back to Philadelphia. Glancing over at Scotty, Lilly's heart was torn. She hated to wake him, knowing how exhausted he'd looked when he'd knocked on her door that morning, and the equally exhausted part of her wanted desperately to just curl back up under the covers, work be damned, and sleep the day away. On the other hand, though, no way did she want to be on the receiving end of an irate, and no doubt suspicious-sounding, phone call from Philly wanting to know why they hadn't managed to interview Kenny Michaelson yet. No way in hell was that happening on her watch.

Decision made, Lilly reluctantly flung back the covers and gingerly climbed from bed, relieved to discover that her shaky limbs were able to support her weight. She started to gather up her clothing from the floor, and suddenly realized, with a sinking heart, that she was definitely going to need another shower. Crap. That would put them even further behind schedule.

"Dammit," she swore softly, and Scotty stirred in bed.

"You okay, Lil?" he asked groggily, willing his eyes to focus.

"Just realized I gotta take another shower, thanks to you," Lilly retorted with a smile.

"I ain't sorry," Scotty replied, as he glanced at the clock and groaned when he realized how much of the morning was already gone. Grudgingly, he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"You need one, too," she reminded him. "You're not showing up with sex hair again on my watch."

Scotty was suddenly fully awake.

"You're absolutely right," he agreed with a wicked grin as he stood up. "I _do_ need a shower. And if you're takin' one already, well…." He came up behind Lilly, wrapped his arms around her, and gently nibbled her neck, causing her to shriek with laughter.

"No way in hell, Valens," she replied through her giggles. "We're already running late."

Scotty sighed in defeat. "I guess," he replied reluctantly.

"Stop moping," Lilly chided gently, turning to face him. "You didn't even let me get to the part about taking a rain check."

"Rain check?" Scotty repeated, his voice strained with sudden arousal. The image of Lilly in a lavishly steamy shower, water coursing over the gentle curves of her body, the soap glistening on her skin and making it invitingly slippery, was overwhelming every other thought he had.

"Rain check," Lilly confirmed seductively.

He paused for a moment, meeting her eyes. She wasn't joking.

"I'm holdin' you to that, Rush," Scotty finally replied. He kissed her cheek, released her reluctantly, then threw on his clothes, headed down the hallway, and jumped into his own…much cooler than normal…shower.

* * *

Being a guy definitely had its perks, Scotty decided fifteen minutes later as he stood in front of the mirror, tying his tie. He knew Lil needed a bit more time, what with the hair thing, and the makeup thing…good God, being a girl must be a pain in the ass, he mused, as he shrugged into his coat and strode out of his room.

He decided to put the time to good use. The day before, as they'd walked back from Lanna McCulley's apartment, he'd seen a florist down the street from the hotel, but, as he'd realized with chagrin around two in the morning, it was not open twenty-four hours. It would surely be open now, he figured, and, although he no longer had a need for "I'm Sorry" flowers, he wanted to get her some just the same. Something more along the lines of "I'm Sorry About Our Fight, I'm Relieved As Hell That You're Still Even Speaking To Me, I Can't Believe My Luck That We're Still Together, Oh, And By The Way, I Love You," flowers, but, he realized with a rueful smile, they probably didn't have a section in the little refrigerator for that.

Striding through the lobby, Scotty caught a whiff of the free breakfast buffet, and he suddenly realized that he was absolutely starving. He hadn't eaten much in the way of dinner the night before, and after the sleepless night and amazing sex he'd had, he was famished. Stopping by the table, he wolfed down a couple of donuts and a blueberry muffin in record time, washed it all down with some coffee, and grabbed another couple of muffins to munch on during his trip to the flower shop..

His heart soared as he walked down the sun-soaked street. The air was chilly, but it promised to be a remarkably pleasant day for winter in New York, and the sunshine only brightened his already cheerful mood. Scotty couldn't recall ever in his life being this happy, this content, this much at peace, this head-over-heels in love with anyone. Those first few months with Elisa had been wonderful, no doubt about it, but he'd been so young, so confused by what was going on, and so terrified that he'd screw it up, that he couldn't really enjoy it until later. Besides, the pain of how it ended was still so great that it tainted even the happiest memories.

Scotty brushed aside the leftover tendrils of melancholy that threatened to cloud his mood and happily switched to sunnier thoughts. He was completely over the moon for Lilly, there was no denying that, but now...the giddiness and infatuation was supported by an undercurrent of peace, of security, a sense that this thing with Lil was just…right…somehow, despite all the red-tape rules and regulations that said it wasn't. On paper she was wrong for him, he knew; she was his co-worker, his partner, his friend, and all of those other things, but those didn't deter him at all, because in his heart...she felt so very, very right. After all the shit he'd been through, all the heartbreak and misery, he couldn't believe his luck was finally starting to turn.

Upon reaching the flower shop and frowning into the little refrigerator for a minute, he saw an arrangement marked, "I Miss You," and sudden inspiration struck him. His flowers-at-work plan had been flawlessly executed earlier that week; why not repeat it? It seemed like a brilliant idea. If he had flowers waiting at the office for her when she got back, it would lend more credibility to the Casanova theory their colleagues had cooked up. Grinning to himself, he left the flower shop and called the one in Philly. This done, he placed one more phone call, to a restaurant Rosalia had told him about once, one he knew there was no way in hell he had any business even trying to afford, but he didn't give a rat's ass. Lilly was worth it, and Scotty was praying that something, anything, a blizzard, a flat tire, an unexpected Philly-related complication, would keep them in New York another night. Flowers ordered and reservations made, Scotty wolfed down another couple of muffins on the way back into the hotel, then picked up a few pastries for Lil. She had to be starving, too.

When he reached her room, she was gathering up the case file and grabbing her coat from the closet. Her face lit up when she saw him.

"You brought me breakfast?" she asked in amazement. Grabbing a muffin from his outstretched hand, she took a large bite. "Thank God," she purred. "I'm _starving_."

"Figured you might be," he replied with a smile. "I kinda gave you a workout this mornin'."

Lilly laughed, the sound music to Scotty's ears. "You got a pretty good workout yourself. Wanna share?" she asked, offering him half of her muffin.

He looked up at her, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"You already ate, didn't you?" Lilly concluded with a smile. It was more of a statement than a question.

Scotty shrugged and tossed her a sheepish grin.

Lilly smiled at him as she sipped her coffee. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me."

* * *

Kenny Michaelson was a real dimwit, Scotty and Lilly could tell from the second they met him, though he had proven an entertaining interview, spinning stories of the practical jokes he and Aaron used to play on each other, and on Steve McBride. Despite Kenny's connection to the dump site, however, the detectives were frustrated to learn that he had no motive or opportunity to kill Aaron, and, of course, had no idea who might have. The only helpful bit of information Kenny was able to impart was that their entire group of friends had known where he was working, so, really, any one of them knew the perfect place to dump the body.

Grabbing a late lunch on the go after their interview, they'd reported their findings back to Jeffries in Philly. He'd reassured them they'd track down the other friends Kenny had mentioned, but they would do so shorthanded: Stillman was stuck in meetings all afternoon, and Veronica Miller had suddenly come down with a bit of a stomach bug at school, so Kat had split to take care of her. Jeffries reported that he and Vera would do all they could, but it might be slow going.

In the interest of doing some work on the case while they were waiting, and in the interest of humoring Lilly, Scotty had cheerfully accompanied her on a second interview with Lanna McCulley. Lanna greeted them with a smile, which shocked the hell out of Lilly, but soon, they realized why. That morning, Lanna had been able to locate her former boss, the manager of the radio station she worked for. Despite apparently having experimented with every chemical substance known to man in the 1970s, the manager had kept meticulous records, showing Lanna had been at work the night of the murder, so she was off the hook. Scotty had wanted desperately to gloat, but, the memory of their fight still fresh in his mind, he thought better of it and refrained. If Lilly had been surprised by his silence, she hadn't said anything.

So they were back to square one, and on their own until the Philly squad reported back. Late that afternoon, they were sitting in the hotel café, going over their notes from the interviews, trying to figure out what else they could do before they heard back from their colleagues, when Jeffries called Lilly to report that the Philadelphia efforts had ground to a halt. A couple of Aaron's friends were proving hard to locate, and Jeffries said Stillman had already signed off on another night in New York.

When Lilly ended her call with Jeffries and filled Scotty in on the details, he nearly fell to his knees in gratitude, and had no doubt that, had the other members of the squad been available, he would have hugged every last one of them. Jeffries would have scowled and told him to get the hell off, Vera, of course, would have called his sexual orientation into question, Stillman would have immediately sent him upstairs to the department shrink, and Miller would have kicked his ass to the moon. Still, though, he realized with a grin…woulda been worth it. Another night in New York with Lilly. He couldn't believe his luck.

"Guess we're stuck here," Lilly said in defeat as she stashed her phone in her purse and gathered up the files.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Scotty teased as he rose from his seat.

Standing up, Lilly glanced at him in surprise. "Oh…no…of course it's not a bad thing…I was just thinking about work…"

"Well, maybe it's time you were thinkin' about somethin' else," Scotty replied, arching a brow suggestively.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" Lilly purred as they crossed the lobby.

"Well…I kinda made some dinner reservations…" Scotty said with a sheepish grin, pressing the button for the elevator.

"Did you plan this delay, Detective?" Lilly asked with mock severity, hands on her hips, as the doors opened and they stepped inside.

"Nope…just prayed for it is all," Scotty replied with a shrug. The doors closed with a metallic thud.

Lilly stole a sidelong glance at him, then was struck with sudden inspiration. "Gosh, I hope I brought something to wear," she said, with mock panic in her voice.

All the color drained from Scotty's face. _Goddammit. _Girls and their...goddamn clothes. He should have known to tell her…he should have known she would have been all business and wouldn't pack anything she deemed...date-worthy_. Shit. _What the hell had he been thinking?

"God, Lil, I'm sorry…I wasn't thinkin'…we can go somewhere else…hell, we can get Chinese take-out for all I care...we don't have to keep these…it was just an idea…" Fumbling for words, Scotty pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and frantically tried to find the number for the restaurant.

Lilly watched him twist in the wind for a few moments before she couldn't stifle her laughter any longer. Scotty looked at her in shock. Laughing too hard to speak, she simply placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Somethin' funny, Lil?" he asked darkly as the elevator dinged its arrival on their floor and they stepped out into the hallway.

"You…should have seen…the look on your face," she gasped between giggles.

Scotty merely stared at her in confusion.

"Relax, Valens," she finally managed. "I was just messing with you. I brought something I think should be just fine."

Scotty sighed with relief. "Don't _do_ that to me, Lil," he protested, although the grin he shot her belied the severity of his words. "You 'bout gave me a heart attack!"

"I know," she said, giggling again. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."

"How you plan on doin' that?" Scotty asked, arching a brow.

"You'll see…" she purred as they arrived at her hotel room. "Now scram. I gotta get ready."

Scotty kissed her briefly and walked down the hall, shaking his head slowly_. She's really messed you up good, Valens._

* * *

Lilly was almost giddy as she slipped in her earrings. She and Scotty were on a date. In New York City. She still felt slightly guilty, like she was playing hooky, but she banished the guilt from her mind. She and Scotty could go out tonight like a normal couple, without having to worry about being seen by anyone they knew, and without much chance of a work-related interruption. Lilly grinned as she silenced her cell phone. No Stillman Alarm tonight.

Her heart raced as she heard Scotty's soft knock on the door, and she gave her hair a final fluff, tugged uncertainly at her dress, and crossed the room to answer it.

Scotty's heart leaped into his throat as he heard the click of the lock, and when Lilly opened the door, he was rendered completely incapable of motion, speech, or even coherent thought. All he could do was stare helplessly at Lilly in that black strapless dress. It fit her every curve like a glove, like it was made just for her. Her legs went on for miles, ending in strappy black heels. Her hair was down, and Scotty noticed she'd even put a few curls into it. He'd never seen her with curls before. Didn't even know Lilly Rush owned a curling iron. And with that red lipstick, that black dress, and those curls…good God…she looked like she could be on the cover of a magazine. She was gloriously perfect. He couldn't believe his luck.

"Think this is okay for our date?" she purred, turning around to give Scotty a full view, delighting in the way he'd been rendered utterly speechless.

He tried to respond, honest he did, but his mouth just couldn't form words. This was getting ridiculous. He was Scotty Valens, for God's sake. He'd been around beautiful women before. He was _never_ at a loss for words, never completely and totally shocked into silence. He wanted to say something eloquent, something worthy of Lilly's beauty, but he simply couldn't make a sound.

She turned around to face him once more. "Scotty?" she pressed gently, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Think this is okay for wherever it is we're going?" she asked again.

"Yeah," he managed to say, his voice sounding strange and faraway.

"Well, good. I just happened to throw this into the suitcase," Lilly said smoothly, grabbing her coat. "You weren't the only one who thought we might get to go out someplace while we were here."

"Guess not," Scotty croaked, finally regaining power of coherent thought and speech. "You look..." he started to say, but still couldn't find the right word. Good? Not even close. Great? Better, but still...no. Amazing? Perhaps.

"Hot," he blurted out, then mentally kicked himself. _Hot? Seriously, Valens? That's the best you could come up with? Hot?_

Lilly giggled. "You don't look half bad yourself," she replied lightly. Truth was, she'd never seen Scotty look better. He had on a suit, same as usual, but had switched out his usual light colored shirt for a dark purple one she'd never seen before. He'd done the dark shirt thing at work once a few months ago, and it had sent strange tingles throughout her veins the entire day. It was most unsettling, and she'd been grateful to go home and forget about it.

No trying to forget about it tonight, though, she mused. Tonight, they weren't Detectives Rush and Valens, Philly Homicide, trying their best to be professional and hide things from their co-workers. Tonight, they were just…Scotty and Lilly. A couple.

Lilly swallowed against the fear that pricked her heart as Scotty opened the door for her and they stepped out into the hallway.

* * *

At the restaurant, they were seated at a quiet table, adorned with flowers and candles, and once they'd placed their orders, Scotty gazed deep into Lilly's sapphire eyes. God, she was beautiful. Breathtakingly, indescribably beautiful. He was about to try again, to wax eloquent about how gorgeous she looked, when suddenly, his phone vibrated inside his the pocket of his jacket, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin.

Startled, he dove for the phone with a mumbled apology. "Shit…thought I turned this thing off."

Checking the caller ID, Scotty was even more startled, and just the slightest bit annoyed, that it was Vera calling. _If we gotta interrupt this date to go do some work thing, I'll murder him, _Scotty threatened silently.

"What's up, Nicky?" he asked into the phone, hoping to disguise his irritation.

"Scotty, thank God," Vera answered with obvious relief. "I've been tryin' to call Lil for, like, twenty minutes, and she ain't answerin'."

"You okay, man?" Scotty asked.

"Yeah…fine…it's just these...damn freaks of nature," Vera griped.

"Freaks of nature?" Scotty repeated, briefly meeting Lilly's quizzical glance.

"Yeah…these…_cats…_" Vera answered.

"What the…what cats? Where the hell _are _you?" Scotty demanded.

"I'm at Lil's apartment," came the grumbled reply.

"Why are you at Lil's apartment?" Scotty asked, as Lilly's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Miller was supposed to feed these fuckin' freaks of nature, but her damn kid is sick…so I'm doin' it," Vera explained reluctantly.

Scotty tried his best to suppress a chuckle. "You're…feeding Lil's cats?" Scotty repeated slowly, as, on the other side of the table, Lilly burst into giggles.

"It was either that or spend an hour with a kid who's throwin' up," his colleague groused.

Scotty could no longer hide his laughter.

"This sure as hell ain't as funny as you're makin' it out to be, asshole," Vera griped.

"Oh, I dunno," Scotty managed. "It's pretty damn funny from where we're sittin'."

"We? Lil's with you?" Vera demanded. "Well, put her on the phone, then. I don't know where the hell the food is, I don't know where the hell their litter boxes are, and I don't know why the hell they're just sittin' on the counter…glarin' at me."

"Give 'em some ham," Scotty replied quickly, without thinking.

"Ham?" Vera repeated blankly. "Lil's got ham? Hey, how the hell do you even know all this, anyway?"

"Lil told me once," Scotty replied nonchalantly. "Here she is," he said, as he handed his phone across the table.

"Hey, Vera," Lilly greeted him cheerfully. "Are the girls being nice to you?"

"No," Vera answered darkly.

"Well, good, then. I taught them well," she teased, enjoying the merriment that twinkled in Scotty's eyes.

"Look, Lil," Vera sighed. "Cut the crap and tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do. All Miller did was give me the key and tell me I had to get my ass over here and feed your…cats."

Lilly chuckled softly and launched into what seemed to Vera to be an unnecessarily complicated set of instructions. Tear off a few pieces of ham for the bowls in the kitchen, a cup and a half of dry food in each dish in the laundry room, clean water in the bowls in the bathroom, a little milk in the bowls in the living room, scoop out the litter box, brush both cats, and scratch Olivia under the chin if she'd let him. She didn't. Vera wasn't surprised.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, and, while he poured the dry food into their bowls, he blurted out, "Hey, how come Casanova ain't doin' this?"

Lilly's mind whirled. _Casanova? Who the hell is…oh, riiight. _She spied Scotty sitting across the table from her.

"He…doesn't have a key yet," she managed. "Not that it's any of your business," she added brusquely.

Whatever else Vera might have been about to say was cut off by a startled yelp as both cats charged between his ankles and started devouring the food. With a sigh of relief that the damn freaks of nature had let him live and a roll of his eyes that he even had to do this, Vera thanked Lilly for the instructions, and started to hang up.

"Wait a second," Lilly stopped him. "You're….doing something nice…for Miller?"

"Well…technically, it's somethin' nice for you," he replied uncertainly.

"You're doing something that's nice to both Kat _and_ me?" Lilly pressed, grinning.

"Yeah, I guess," Vera finally agreed, albeit reluctantly.

"I'm impressed, Nick," Lilly said silkily.

"Yeah, well…don't let it go to your head," he finished, and hung up.

As Lilly flipped her phone closed, she and Scotty dared to meet each other's eyes, and soon dissolved into uncontrollable laughter once more.

* * *

After dinner, they strolled along the Brooklyn Bridge. Lilly stole a glance at Scotty and found him seemingly deep in thought; gazing at the water, the city lights. Impulsively, she slipped her hand into his. He seemed startled for a second, but relaxed, grinned at her, and laced his fingers through hers, stopping briefly to plant a kiss on her cheek.

Scotty's heart soared when Lilly slipped her delicate hand into his; they'd never held hands in public before, never been free to act like a normal couple, and just that small gesture of togetherness had made the blood sing through his veins. They reached the center of the bridge and stopped, and he gazed into her wide, sapphire eyes. She looked so beautiful, her flaxen hair reflecting the streetlights and gently wisping across her face in the soft evening breeze. The sight took his breath away, made his heart feel like it was going to burst.

_I love you_, he wanted to whisper as he gazed into her eyes, but he beat it back once more. Instead, he reached up a hand and gently brushed a stray hair away from her eyes, then pulled her closer and gave her the softest, most reverent, most love-filled kiss he'd ever given anyone in his life. Then, hand in hand, they strolled back toward their hotel.

* * *

When they got there, Lilly had every intention of giving Scotty all the sex he could handle, and then some, but, to her chagrin, her body chose that exact moment to remind her of her sleepless night. As they wordlessly rode the elevator to their floor, she felt the exhaustion deep in her bones, seeping through every pore.

Glancing over at Scotty, she was surprised to see her own fatigue reflected in his expression. His eyes had darkened, and he moved as though he were made of lead, the weariness seeming to roll off him in waves. Wordlessly, they headed down the hall to his room and began to undress.

"Lil?" Scotty began tentatively, shrugging out of his shirt.

"Yeah?" Lilly asked as she removed her earrings and placed them on the bedside table.

"You got no idea how much I don't wanna admit this, but…I'm beat." He smiled shyly at her.

Tears of relief and exhaustion pricked her eyes. "Oh, thank God," she sighed. "Me,too."

Scotty let out a breath. "Okay, then…" he said, stripping off his T-shirt and draping it across the bottom of the bed. "Maybe you wanna just…I dunno…cuddle?"

Despite her exhaustion, Lilly couldn't help but giggle as she shimmied out of her dress and slipped Scotty's T-shirt over her head. "That sounds…wonderful," she replied.

Scotty slipped into bed and pulled back the covers so she could join him. She pillowed her head against his chest and breathed deeply, inhaling his intoxicating spicy scent and feeling generally blissful and at peace with the world. Just as she had that morning. Only this time, she didn't have to fight it.

They were asleep in seconds.

* * *

**A/N: Special thanks to LII2 for the Brooklyn Bridge idea, and Collider for her uncharacteristically fluffy advice!**


	24. Lovin' You Against My Will

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A/N: At long last, we're getting them back to Philly!

**Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. I love 'em anyway.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Lovin' You Against My Will**

The next morning, Lilly woke up to find Scotty still asleep, which was no small surprise to her. He seemed to be far more of a morning person than she was, and most of the time, she awoke to either an empty bed or a bright smile and a cup of coffee. But now…she smiled sympathetically as she realized how truly exhausted Scotty must have been. He was dead to the world.

He lay on his stomach, the blankets only covering his legs, so Lilly had an unobstructed view of the broad, sculpted planes of his back. He was facing her, one hand under the pillow, the other at his side, and her eyes traveled up to his face, taking in his endlessly long, coal-black lashes, his chiseled cheekbones, the dark shadow of stubble along his jawline that made him look even sexier than usual. Lilly hadn't thought that was possible.

She noticed then that he was even smiling in his sleep. Not much, his lips were barely curved upward, he was still smiling. He looked content…at peace…_happy_. She couldn't recall ever seeing him this happy. Raising herself to one elbow, she planted a soft kiss on his shoulder, then gently caressed his arm as she continued to study him.

Lilly couldn't believe that, a mere three weeks ago that morning, he'd been nothing more than her partner…her friend. A drunken one-night stand in Nashville changed all that, and, Lilly realized, things had definitely changed for the better. A flood of warmth engulfed her heart, and tears pricked her eyes as she tenderly trailed the back of her hand across Scotty's cheek and realized how much their relationship really had changed. A feeling crept into her soul, delicately, like the first tender shoots of spring, and Lilly's heart leaped into her throat when she realized it.

Holy crap.

Was she…falling in love….with _Scotty Valens_?

Eyes widening in terror, she gasped quietly, and quickly squelched the feeling. It couldn't possibly be love. No. Absolutely not. Not here. Not now. No way. Not with Scotty. Oh, sure, she was infatuated with him, she'd freely admit that. But…love? No. Not possible. Lilly Rush didn't fall in love anymore. She couldn't. Just wasn't capable of it. Not after Patrick. And definitely not after Joseph.

Every time Lilly loved someone, she wound up alone and in pain. And having the love confirmed verbally, it seemed, only cemented the tragic end. The only time she'd ever heard her father say he loved her was mere moments before he turned around and walked out of her life. She still remembered the look in his eyes as he told her; the way he'd struggled with the words as he knelt down to her height. "I love you, kitten," he'd said, then picked up his suitcase and left without a backward glance. Those three little words, though…those words kept Lilly clinging to hope for years. Every birthday party, every Christmas, she'd race to the window incessantly; every important school function, she'd scan the crowd for him. He'd said he loved her, so of course he'd come back for her. But he never came.

Ray, Patrick, and Joseph had all said they loved her, she had said she loved all three of them…and all three of them had left her. Those three little words had been responsible for more pain in Lilly's life than she ever thought possible, and she'd vowed, after Joseph, as she'd lain on the couch, mournfully fingering the spare key he'd left, never to speak them again to anyone but her cats. It had taken her all night to figure out that Joseph was the one she wanted to be with, but as soon as she told him, he didn't believe her; he'd just turned around and walked away. After Patrick, that one had hurt the most. She'd figured Joseph was her last chance at love, and if she couldn't even keep him for longer than a couple of months, well, then…there wasn't much hope for her, now, was there? So as she'd lain there on the couch, her head pillowed on Olivia's back, she'd pushed that key away, and, in that moment, gave up on love.

So this…thing…with Scotty…it wasn't love. Couldn't be. She wouldn't allow that to happen. It'd burn itself out in a few weeks, anyway, Lilly was sure. That's what all her post-Patrick relationships had done. Scotty would find something about her he couldn't live with, just like everyone else. With Kite, it had been the job. With Ray, it had been the fact that she'd changed; that she wasn't the wild nineteen-year-old who'd almost married him in Knoxville. With Joseph, it had been Ray. She didn't know what it would be with Scotty, but there was bound to be something. And besides, even if he didn't find anything…being closed-off and incapable of relationships as she was…there was no way it could last.

So there was absolutely no use dwelling on whether what she felt was truly love or not, because by the time she figured it out, she was sure it would all be over, and they'd both be trying to salvage the pieces of their friendship and go back to being partners like nothing had happened. She'd just ride it out. Feelings came, and feelings went, and whatever the hell this feeling was, she was sure it wouldn't last…couldn't last…and that was fine with her. Because if it did…it just meant she'd wind up getting hurt again.

Her reverie was interrupted by Scotty rolling onto his back, slowly opening his eyes, and blinking a few times, trying to focus. She hastily shoved her fears, and her feelings, under the rug, desperately hoping to hide them so he wouldn't see them in her eyes, and hoping that maybe, if she ignored them, they'd go away. Besides, they were both happy now. And wasn't that enough? Scotty himself had told her that, as lone wolf cops, they needed to take whatever good they could get, whenever they could get it. And this…here…now, well…it was good. Very, very good.

Her task nearly complete, Lilly grinned at Scotty, endlessly amused by the fact that her chipper, morning-person boyfriend had slept longer than she had.

Scotty seemed as surprised as she was. "Mornin', beautiful," he smiled, peering into her bright blue eyes as he reached for her. "This is a pretty nice way to wake up."

"Yeah," Lilly agreed, trying to shove the last tentacles of her pessimism under the rug as she snuggled closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"You're up early," he remarked.

"Got a case to solve," she rejoined brightly.

"Shit…what time is it?" Scotty asked in alarm, rolling over and fumbling for the clock radio.

Lilly giggled. "Relax…I wouldn't have let you sleep too long."

She rose from the bed, and Scotty felt a flush of heat course through his body as he watched her move gracefully across the room, clad only in his T-shirt. That shirt brushed against her thighs, barely covering her, and the top was pulled to one side, revealing just a hint of her creamy, porcelain shoulder. His mouth went dry as he stared at her helplessly.

"Want some coffee?" Lilly asked casually, reaching the coffee maker and digging through the basket for the little packet of instant coffee.

_Oh, I want a helluva lot more than coffee, _Scotty wanted to say as he felt himself grow painfully hard, but words seemed difficult. _I want you. Right here, right now. I wanna forget entirely about work, forget about the damn case, forget about going back to Philly, and just throw you down on the bed and ravage you until we both collapse._

"Coffee….yeah…" he managed weakly.

Lilly smiled knowingly at the strangled sound in his voice. "We have a case to solve, Valens," she repeated. "I got an itch to bring somebody back to Philly with us."

"Well, who the hell do we think that's gonna be?" Scotty demanded, annoyed that the frustration of the previous day's dead-end interviews was intruding on his lusty thoughts.

Lilly just shrugged as she tore the wrapper off the coffee packet. "We'll figure it out. We always do."

Their plan for the morning was to go visit Aaron's sister one more time, see if she remembered anything else, and if not, head back to Philly empty-handed. Scotty was as reluctant to do that as Lilly was, but their case just wasn't going anywhere, and he knew the cheap-ass department wouldn't put them up in New York indefinitely.

Lilly rose onto her tiptoes to place the packet into the coffee maker, and Scotty's irritation at the case was suddenly erased in a haze of lust. Good God. Her in that T-shirt...that was one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen in his life. An idea occurred to him suddenly, and he flung the covers aside.

"What time's checkout?" he asked, rising from bed.

"Eleven, I think," Lilly replied, placing the coffee in the basket and grabbing the carafe. "Why?"

"'Cause that means we got some time," Scotty said, arching a brow suggestively. "And…well…I gotta take a shower."

Realization dawned on Lilly as she turned and saw the sparks of desire flaring in Scotty's eyes. "Sounds good," she said casually. "Think I'll join you."

Scotty grinned broadly as he crossed the room and took her in his arms. "I was hopin' you might," he said huskily.

He claimed her lips then, and she hastily set the carafe down and cupped the back of his head in her hands as she returned his hungry kisses. His lips leaving hers only long enough to strip her of his T-shirt and fling it aside, he guided their stumbling feet into the bathroom and fumbled for the faucet. The bathroom was engulfed in steam within seconds.

* * *

After their shower, they dressed quickly, packed their things, checked out of the hotel, and headed for a little breakfast place down the street. They reviewed their notes from the previous day's interview and wracked their brains trying to figure out what, if anything, they'd missed as they sipped coffee and munched on their breakfast. Scotty suddenly developed a powerful donut craving, although he didn't have a clue where that came from, since he didn't usually eat them, but he shrugged and ordered one, sinking his teeth into it gratefully.

The donut, of course, made the two think of their colleagues back in Philly. They were wondering aloud how Vera and Kat were getting along with their ongoing donut feud when Scotty's phone rang.

"Speak of the devil," he said, flashing the caller ID at Lilly.

"Vera always seems to call when we're eating," she mused. "It's like he senses it."

Scotty chuckled and flipped open his phone. "Hey, man…cats let you live?" he greeted his colleague cheerfully.

"Yeah. That ham trick…that was golden," Vera replied.

"Y'know, we were just talkin' about you," Scotty continued.

" 'Bout how I'm the best damn detective in Philly?" Vera responded.

"Only 'cause me and Rush are in New York," Scotty replied without missing a beat.

"Then how come I solved your case for you?" Vera retorted.

That got Scotty's attention. "Solved the case? How?"

Vera went on to explain that, in an interview that morning with one of Aaron Simpson's friends, a former foreign exchange student from some country Vera either didn't catch or couldn't remember, they had received the bombshell news that Kenny Michaelson had had a brief fling with Aaron's sister right around the time of the murder and had gotten her pregnant. Shortly thereafter, Aaron disappeared, Lauren took off for New York, Kenny arrived in the city two years later, and none of Aaron's other friends had seen any of them since.

Scotty's mind whirled rapidly at this new information, and Lilly shot him frustrated glances, her look clearly saying that she was dying to know what Vera was telling him. Scotty just tossed her a cocky grin and continued taking notes. In a brief, mischievous moment, Lilly, who would never know exactly what got into her, took advantage of the fact that both of Scotty's hands were occupied and, in a single fluid motion, lifted the remaining third of his donut from his plate and polished it off in a single bite. Scotty's eyes widened in amazement as Lilly giggled silently.

"So we're thinkin' Lauren may be our doer, but we don't have a clue why. So get off your lazy asses up there and do your jobs," Vera was saying gruffly.

"Will do," Scotty replied, grinning at Lilly.

"So…you and Rush…" Vera began conspiratorially.

"What about us?" Scotty returned casually as he sipped his coffee.

"You two gettin' along okay up there?" he asked.

Scotty's eyes widened. "We're…" he stopped, suddenly remembering the way the water had sluiced down over Lilly's gentle curves, the way her skin had turned rosy with heat and arousal, the way she'd screamed his name as he brought her to completion.

"…fine," he finished, forcing his mind to switch gears.

"Dammit, Scotty," Vera grumbled.

"What?" Scotty asked warily.

"You hesitated, man." Vera sighed again. "Look, whatever it is…figure it out before you get back. Last time…oh, wait…hold on a sec," he said, and Scotty could hear him take a large bite of something, with a frustrated, "Hey!" in the background.

"I fed those damn freaks of nature for ya last night…you owe me," Vera chortled, and then turned his attention back to Scotty, tuning out the tirade Miller had launched into.

"Last time was rough, man. Almost like when you guys fought about…She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," he replied, still chewing.

Scotty glanced cautiously over at Lilly, who was sipping her coffee as she read Scotty's hastily scribbled notes over his shoulder. "Yeah, well..." he began uncertainly.

"Anyway, you guys got issues, air 'em out before you get back, all right? I'm serious. I ain't puttin' up with any more of your drama," Vera concluded. "And go catch our doer."

Scotty flipped his phone closed, filled Lilly in on the details, and she excitedly gathered her things and started to leave.

"We ain't goin' nowhere," Scotty informed her. "You owe me a donut. What the hell was that even about? You hate donuts."

Lilly shot him a dazzling smile. "Well...we can't let Kat and Vera have all the fun," she remarked. She then turned her attention to the guy behind the counter and, still grinning, ordered Scotty a replacement donut.

* * *

They returned to Lauren Grant's apartment, and after listening to Lauren argue with them and loudly protest her innocence for a while, Scotty let it slip that they knew the father of Lauren's oldest child. She paled then, sworn that Kenny had taken off after she found out she was pregnant, and she hadn't seen him since. She said she'd heard he moved to New York, but that it was a big city; easy to lose someone.

They then re-interviewed Kenny, who, when confronted with the new evidence, instantly dropped the comic-book kid act and confessed, shakily, to helping Lauren dump Aaron's body, but insisted that didn't kill Aaron, and provided Larry the acupuncturist as an alibi. Via phone, Larry confirmed to Scotty, after asking him how his liver fire was doing, that he and Kenny had been smoking pot together until very late the night of the murder; late enough that the detectives realized with certainty that Kenny couldn't have been the doer.

That left only one more interview, and Scotty and Lilly arrived at Lauren's place just as she was hastily throwing suitcases in the trunk of her Mercedes. Confronted with the evidence of Kenny's confession, Lauren finally broke down and admitted to killing her brother. She explained that she had always been the favorite child, but when she found out she was pregnant at seventeen, her parents had practically disowned her and showered all the favoritism on Aaron. Insane with jealousy, Lauren had bashed him over the head with a lamp. She hadn't meant to hurt him, she said tearfully, but he died instantly, and she didn't know what to do, so she roped Kenny into helping her dispose of the body, saying if he'd do this one thing for her, he was off the hook for child support forever. The body buried in the construction site, Lauren had fled to New York and never looked back.

Scotty and Lilly, satisfied with this confession, arrested the two former lovebirds and escorted them back to Philadelphia. They certainly did make the odd pair, Lilly mused. Lauren, every inch the New York sophisticate, and Kenny, the sleazy-looking owner of a struggling comedy club. The car ride back was considerably less lighthearted than the one to New York, their arrested suspects glaring silently out their respective windows, and the two detectives not saying much, just exchanging satisfied glances as Scotty expertly maneuvered them through Manhattan traffic and floored it all the way back to Philly.

* * *

"Heads up," Jeffries warned his colleagues as he strolled through the squad room with a file in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. "Scotty and Lil just got back from New York."

"Peace and quiet was nice while it lasted," Vera muttered.

"Didn't you talk to Lil?" Jeffries asked Miller, who was dashing through some paperwork. At Miller's nod, he continued. "How'd she sound?"

"Lil says they're fine," Miller answered, with a shrug.

"Scotty said the same thing. Lyin' through his teeth, though, I can tell." Vera took a sip of his coffee and glanced at his colleagues.

"How can you tell?" Miller demanded.

"I just can," he said. At her skeptically arched brow, he got defensive. "What? I'm a detective."

"So am I," Miller replied icily. "So how can you tell?"

Vera sighed. "I asked him how they were doin', and he hesitated."

"He _hesitated? That's _your ace in the hole? He _hesitated?" _Miller asked incredulously.

"Well, what'd Lil do?" Vera pressed, meeting her eyes.

Miller tried to think back. "Shit," she replied softly.

"She hesitated, didn't she?" Vera crowed proudly.

Miller sighed in defeat and nodded. "Yeah. She did. We're screwed."

Vera grinned proudly. "How long d'you think they'll fight this time?" he asked the group.

"Depends on what it was about last time," Miller said with a shrug.

"So…what do we think it was about last time?" Jeffries asked, eyeing his colleagues curiously.

Vera shrugged. "Dunno, man. Y'know, maybe Valens just needed to get laid. He sure perked up when he started seein' that blonde."

"Is that all you ever think about?" Miller demanded. "Sex?"

"No," Vera protested. "I also think about donuts. The little cream-filled kind, with the sprinkles." He shot her a toothy grin.

Miller silenced him with a fiery glare. The way he'd stolen the last donut out from under her nose again that morning still irked her.

"Hey, kids," Scotty greeted them all with a cheerful smile as he and Lilly came back into the office. Lilly rolled her eyes inwardly. She'd known better than to hope that Scotty would act nonchalant about the whole thing, and prayed that their co-workers would continue to be oblivious.

Their three colleagues glanced up in surprise at Scotty's enthusiastic greeting, and they were even more surprised to see Scotty and Lilly smiling. They exchanged glances, and Miller cautiously greeted them. "Hey, guys," she said warily.

"What?" Lilly asked suspiciously.

"You…seem to be getting along this time…"Miller ventured in surprise.

It took all of Scotty's restraint to keep himself from proving it by throwing his arm around Lilly and pulling her close. He settled for tossing her a casual smile as he took off his coat, and replied, "Well, why wouldn't we?"

"You tell us," Jeffries retorted.

Lilly shrugged casually, ignoring her frantically pounding heart. "Partners are allowed to argue," she said simply as she shrugged out of her blazer and draped it over the back of her chair.

"Not for a whole damn week, they aren't," Vera replied.

Briefly alarmed, Scotty coolly brushed him off. "Well, we ain't doin' that this time around. We're all good."

As if on cue, a floral deliveryman walked into the squad room carrying a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers. "Lilly Rush?" he asked, consulting his clipboard.

_Oh, God, not again, _Lilly thought, as a blush crept into her neck. She felt the eyes of her colleagues on her as she reluctantly stepped forward and signed for the bouquet, then took them and placed them on her desk, carefully avoiding Scotty's eyes. She could hear Vera snickering over at his desk, and she could feel, rather than see, Kat Miller's arched brow and mischievous smile. She didn't even want to _know _what Scotty was doing. Probably smiling that cat-that-just-ate-the-canary, I'm-so-fucking-proud-of-myself, shit-eating, cheesy-ass grin. Still, though…she couldn't help but smile.

Vera grabbed the card out of the arrangement before Lilly even had a chance to locate it, and he gleefully tore open the envelope. "Hope it's in English this time," he chortled.

"You an' me both, pal," Scotty muttered with a grin.

"Welcome home," Vera triumphantly read aloud from the card. "I missed you."

"Awwww," Miller cooed. Jeffries smiled, and Scotty grinned proudly.

"This guy's makin' the rest of us look bad," he proclaimed.

Lilly shook her head with a smile, then dropped her head into her hand. Flowers. At work. Again. Was he _kidding_?

Meanwhile, Vera was disagreeing with Scotty. "Makin' us look bad? No way, man. This numbskull just scored the game-winning touchdown in the Cheesy Bowl."

Scotty bristled. "Cheesy?" he repeated, almost defensively.

"Yeah. Flowers? Twice in one week? You don't think that's cheesy? What the hell is this guy, desperate or somethin'?" Vera demanded.

"I think it's sweet," Miller argued. "Sure as hell wish somebody'd send _me_ flowers at work."

"See?" Scotty arched a brow and indicated Miller. "Not cheesy. Chicks dig flowers."

"Well, why don't we ask the chick who _got _the flowers what _she_ thinks," Vera suggested, glancing over at Lilly.

Lilly looked around at her colleagues incredulously. How the hell had Scotty and Vera managed to take an innocent bouquet of flowers and turn it into a pissing contest? They were both looking at her expectantly, Vera frowning at her with suspicion, Scotty's arms folded across his chest as he met her eyes, almost daring her to deny what she knew he could see reflected in her expression: that the flowers were, indeed, sweet. She glanced over at Miller, wordlessly pleading for help, but Miller shot her a look that clearly said, _I ain't the one with flowers sittin' on my desk, so you're diggin' your own ass out of this one._

Grinning wickedly, Lilly glanced over at Scotty. "Seems like maybe the one who's going around crowin' about how much chicks dig flowers better put his money where his mouth is. When's the last time you sent that girl you've been…with…a flower or two?"

Scotty's startled expression was all Vera needed to pounce. "Busted," he gloated triumphantly.

"At least I'm with somebody," Scotty grumbled.

"Oh, bite me," was Vera's reply.

* * *

Sipping his coffee, Jeffries glanced over at his colleagues, enjoying the banter. It seemed just like old times, and Jeffries was, frankly, relieved. He hadn't been looking forward to another round of Rush vs. Valens any more than the rest of them had. Hadn't whined about it as much as the others, of course, but he'd been dreading it just the same. Now, though, Scotty and Lilly did, in fact, seem to be getting along.

But Jeffries couldn't ignore the fact that something seemed to have…changed…somehow. A different aura. A disturbance in the Force. He couldn't put a finger on it, but something between Scotty and Lil just seemed…different. Happier.

Curious, he watched Lilly settle into her desk to finish filling out the paperwork on the Simpson case. She replaced the card in its little plastic holder and took a second to gaze at the flower arrangement. Jeffries had to hand it to the guy, the arrangement was a beauty. Whoever he was, he certainly seemed fond of Lilly. Maybe that was it…maybe it was just that Lil was happy. Jeffries smiled. He sure hadn't seen Lil this cheerful…well…ever, come to think of it. He looked forward to meeting the guy, if and when Lilly let that happen. Jeffries chuckled. He wasn't going to hold his breath. And Valens…well, there was no denying that he was pretty happy, too. Jeffries was glad. Scotty's romantic relationships tended to waffle between the ill-advised and the unmitigated disasters, and Jeffries was hoping that perhaps his colleague had turned over a new leaf. He certainly seemed content enough, Jeffries mused as he started to return to his paperwork.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Jeffries saw Lilly toss Scotty a smile. Just a brief one, but one that gave him pause, made him sit up straight and stare in disbelief. It was just a moment, a tiny, unguarded moment, but Will Jeffries wouldn't be the detective he was if he didn't catch those tiny, unguarded moments. If he didn't know any better, he'd have thought that smile Lilly tossed Scotty was…well…definitely more than partnerly. His mind whirled with the possibilities. No. Surely not. Surely not…not those two. Not Rush and Valens. No. He had to be imagining things. He had to have gone off the deep end. He had to have been watching too many late-night old movies.

But just then, he received confirmation that he wasn't going senile, wasn't dreaming things up in his old age, wasn't letting Hollywood get the better of him. Jeffries stared in amazement as Scotty returned Lilly's smile, and the tenderness in his expression as he gazed back at her, however briefly…the wonder with which he looked at her, the warmth in his eyes, the joy on his face, just for that one, brief moment…that told Jeffries, with iron-clad certainty, that somehow, somewhere, some way, Lilly Rush and Scotty Valens had gone way beyond being just partners.

A small smile played on his lips as he watched them. _Well, I'll be damned…_he mused. _Rush…and Valens. Never woulda guessed that._

With a soft chuckle, he took another sip of coffee and went back to his paperwork.

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**A/N: It's always the quiet ones you have to watch out for. They know a lot more than you think.**


	25. She Keeps The Home Fires Burning

**A/N: This was originally going to be a chapter full of meaningless fluff. It's still fluffy, but somehow it turned out to be…well…not meaningless. So it's a chapter full of meaningful fluff. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I will own up to my personal pancake-related failures. **

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five: She Keeps The Home Fires Burning**

The front door creaked open as Lilly pulled her key from the lock and stepped inside. The house smelled vaguely musty, the sort of staleness she would expect from a place that had been closed and unoccupied for a couple of days, and she soon heard the clicking of feline toenails approaching the front door. Scotty followed her in and set her suitcase down as Olivia hurried up to them, and Lilly bent down to pick her up.

"Hi, Olivia," she cooed. "Did you miss me?"

Olivia purred wildly in response.

"Aww…I missed you, too," Lilly responded, nuzzling her pet closer.

Scotty was so caught up in watching this adorable scene unfold that he didn't notice Tripod until he felt something furry winding its way around his legs. Startled, he glanced down to notice the white, three-legged cat looking up at him and purring.

"Hey," he mused aloud. "This one kinda likes me, I think."

Lilly glanced back with a dazzling smile. "I think she might."

Scotty tentatively bent down to scratch Tripod behind the ears and was rewarded with a purr.

"Hey there, kitty," he greeted the cat. "Guess you…missed me?" He had no idea how to…talk…to cats, and felt kind of silly doing it, but was also…dammit….sorta touched that this one seemed to like him. He was sure that was a good sign.

Tripod looked at Scotty expectantly, then turned toward Lilly, her feline expression clearly conveying her disbelief at how dense this guy seemed to be, and Scotty tossed a helpless glance in Lilly's direction.

"She wants you to pick her up," Lilly explained, frowning in disbelief as Olivia nuzzled her head under Lilly's chin.

"Pick her up?" Scotty asked warily. "Sure she won't…claw my eyes out or somethin'?"

"I don't think so," she replied in amazement. Tripod never let people pick her up. Never. Lilly was only occasionally allowed to do so, but her cat was making it very clear that she wanted Scotty to pick her up.

Scotty cautiously bent down and raised Tripod off the floor, cradling her in his arms, and was rewarded with wild purring.

"I'll be damned," Lilly said softly. "She never lets people pick her up."

"Not even you?" Scotty asked with a grin.

"Well…sometimes me," Lilly admitted. "But not very often. Poor thing…" she cooed at Tripod. "Did you miss us?"

"Must have," Scotty replied, as the cat snuggled closer to him. He glanced up at Lilly. "Can I, uh…sit down…or somethin'?" he asked.

"Sure," Lilly replied with a giggle, as Scotty awkwardly maneuvered his armful of cat around the suitcases to take a seat on the couch. Tripod curled up in his lap and purred contentedly.

"I'd offer to help you unpack," he began, "but I think I might hafta stay here for a while."

Lilly chuckled and came to join him. "We can unpack later," she replied as she settled down on the couch, Olivia in her lap, and handed Scotty the remote. "Let's just relax for a little bit."

Scotty glanced at her in amazement. "Relax? Lilly Rush just suggested that we relax? Who are you and what'd you do with Lil?"

"Shut up," she laughed, as she gave him a playful shove with her shoulder. "I know how to relax."

"Coulda fooled me," Scotty replied with a grin. He put his arm around Lilly and pulled her close, and she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed happily. Scotty clicked through the channels, but nothing good was on, so he shut the TV off. They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the snow fall outside, listening to the cats purr. Scotty absently traced circles on Lilly's shoulder with his thumb, and occasionally pressed soft kisses to the top of her head. Love flooded his heart as he settled deeper into the sofa. Him…Lil…here…the cats…he felt like he was…home. Like he'd been wandering around lost for he wasn't even sure how long, and he'd finally managed to stumble his way to a home he didn't even know he had. He pressed another kiss to Lilly's hair and sighed in contentment.

"What?" she asked softly, sounding like she might almost have been asleep.

"Nothin'," he said lightly. "It's just good to be home."

"Yeah," Lilly agreed. "It is." She scratched Olivia behind the ears and snuggled closer to Scotty.

* * *

Lilly didn't know how long they'd lain there, cuddled up on the couch. She might have even dozed off, although she wasn't sure whether or not she'd been completely asleep. Her mind remained blissfully blank, and all she was aware of was how warm and safe she felt.

Suddenly, Olivia jumped down off her lap, and Tripod followed, the two cats heading into the kitchen for a late-night snack.

"Guess that's our cue to get up," Lilly murmured, as she raised her head from Scotty's shoulder.

"Hmmm?" Scotty asked blearily. He was either completely asleep, or damn close.

"I gotta unpack," Lilly began with a smile. "But you're welcome to stay down here and sleep on the couch if you want," she teased.

"Nah," Scotty grinned sheepishly. "I'm comin' with you." He rose from the couch and followed Lilly up the stairs.

When they reached her bedroom, Lilly unzipped her suitcase and started to take things out.

"Need any help?" Scotty asked, and Lilly shook her head with a smile.

"Okay, then," he replied, then took off his coat and tie, laid them across the chair, and unbuttoned his shirt while he kicked off his shoes. He then sank gratefully onto the bed, stretching out with a contented sigh and propping himself up on one elbow, happy just to be in the same room with Lilly. He watched her take out that gorgeous strapless black dress, and, grinning wickedly at him, she replaced it in her closet.

"That's a great dress," he commented casually.

"Glad you like it," Lilly replied just as nonchalantly.

Suddenly, Scotty spotted something black and lacy peeking out of the corner of her suitcase, and while her back was turned, curiosity got the better of him, and he pulled it out. His jaw nearly hit the floor when he unfolded the garment and gently caressed its lacy edge.

"How come I've never seen this before?" he demanded playfully.

"You never give me a chance," Lilly replied in mock protest.

"Yeah, okay, I'll give you that one," Scotty conceded with a shrug as he continued to stare at the negligee.

"That something you'd like to see me in?" she asked him.

"Course it is," Scotty answered with a wicked grin, "but you'd only have it on for about five seconds."

Lilly giggled as she took it from him and headed for her drawer.

"Wait, you didn't mean now?" Scotty asked, the disappointment in his voice more obvious than he would have liked.

"You'll see me in it sometime," she purred.

"Is tonight 'sometime'?" he asked, arching a brow suggestively.

Lilly smiled. "Nope. But soon."

Scotty seemed satisfied with this answer, then raised himself up off the bed and crept up behind her while she closed her dresser drawer.

"That's okay," Scotty conceded, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I got a pretty active imagination."

"Yeah?" she replied, catching the gleam in his eyes.

"Definitely…and I'm picturin' some pretty hot stuff right about now." He claimed her lips then, his hands boldly slipping beneath the back of her shirt, as she moaned softly.

He released her only long enough to move her suitcase off the bed. "We got plenty of time to deal with that later," he said playfully, as he captured the now-giggling Lilly and set her gently down on the bed where the suitcase had been, then shrugged out of his shirt and drove her down into the pillows with another kiss.

* * *

The next morning, Lilly awoke to sunlight streaming through her window. She glanced at the clock and was surprised at how early it was, but she felt fully rested and ready to face the day. She sighed in contentment and glanced over at Scotty, who was rolled over on his side, still fast asleep. That made two mornings in a row that she'd awakened before he had, she realized. Was Valens making a morning person out of her? Surely not.

Morning person or not, though, she couldn't deny the energy that coursed through her body. Nothing like coming back to your own bed after being away, she mused. It was so warm and cozy that she was briefly tempted to just stay in bed, but her growling stomach insisted that she get up and find something to eat. Lilly quietly slipped from beneath the covers, hoping not to wake Scotty. He moaned softly and rolled onto his back, but his eyes never opened. Lilly leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his forehead, then threw on a pair of yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Tripod and Olivia at her heels, she then padded downstairs to find some breakfast.

While she brushed the cats and gave them their morning snack of ham, Lilly began to ponder what she might do about her own breakfast. Corn flakes straight from the box weren't going to cut it, not today. That Cuban ham and egg dish Scotty had made for her a couple weeks back had been divine, and while she couldn't hope to replicate that, she suddenly felt inspired to cook something for him.

Lilly didn't feel inspired to cook often; in fact, she usually resented the task, because she wasn't very good at it, having never been properly taught. She could count the number of actual dishes she could make on one hand. Besides, the very act of cooking reminded her that she'd been forced to grow up far too soon. Not that making dinner out of Cheerios and half a can of tuna counted as cooking, exactly, but it was the principle of the thing. Still, though, she couldn't deny an innate urge to cook occasionally. She supposed it was part of her nature, that same damn stupid part of her that still hoped for a white dress and a flowery church. To make matters worse, Lilly usually only whipped out her…cooking skills…for boyfriends. Patrick had actually taught her a couple of dishes, although she'd sworn off them for good after she kicked him out. She and Kite had never made it that far, and with Joseph…Lilly winced as a memory resurfaced of the last time she'd tried to make breakfast for a guy.

Joseph had greeted her that morning with a light-hearted joke about her trying to smoke him out, and she'd be damned if she knew how it happened, but one minute they were bantering back and forth, and the next minute, she was spilling her guts about her dad leaving over a griddle full of burnt pancakes. She had no idea how Joseph did that; she supposed it was because he was a counselor and therefore well-trained in getting reticent people to talk. Sort of like herself, she mused. She took a second to ponder the irony that she, Lilly Rush, the most fearless detective in Homicide, who could make anyone talk about anything, who usually prided herself on her ability to keep all her personal stuff behind her thick walls, had cracked with Joseph so easily. For a while, she thought that maybe…maybe he was right. Maybe it would be different with him.

In the end, though…in the end, he'd left. Of course. Just like all the rest.

But still…still Lilly wanted to cook. She'd given up on cooking countless times, but had always come back to it, always gotten back up on the horse and tried again, despite her repeated failures. Sort of like dating, she mused, as she scooped some instant coffee into the filter basket. Every time a relationship ended, she'd swear off men, she'd give up on love forever, only to find herself back in the saddle. Sometimes only a few weeks or months later, sometimes, like after Patrick, it had taken years, but she always climbed right back up there. Always got her heart broken. Always repeated the same damn vicious cycle over and over again.

With a sigh, she brushed her bitterness aside and began rummaging through her refrigerator and cupboards for the necessities for whipping up a batch of pancakes. They'd been an unmitigated disaster with Joseph, but that was the only breakfast food she was even brave enough to attempt. Besides, she suddenly had a powerful craving for pancakes, so she was going to try and make them again, dammit. Filled with a stubborn, grim optimism, Lilly set her jaw determinedly and cracked the eggs into a bowl.

* * *

Scotty wasn't sure what had awakened him, but as he opened his eyes, he found himself face-to-face with Tripod, who was perched on his bare chest and staring him down. He nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Okay…" he replied warily, meeting Tripod's icy glare. "Lil…your, uh…your cat's kinda…standin' on me…"

He was answered only by silence.

"Lil?" he repeated, raising himself to his elbows, causing Tripod to hop off him and move to Lilly's vacated spot, where she continued to glare at Scotty.

"Looks like it's just you and me, kitty," he remarked uncomfortably, still not at all sure about the whole…talking to cats…thing.

Tripod let out an indignant yowl and started toward the bedroom door. Scotty still didn't have a clue what the cat wanted, but that was suddenly the least of his concerns, as he sniffed the unmistakable aroma of smoke. Quickly, he threw on his T-shirt and boxers and hurried downstairs, Tripod at his heels.

The kitchen was hazy with smoke, but Scotty could instantly tell, much to his relief, that nothing was actually on fire. What he did see shocked the hell out of him, then almost made him laugh out loud: Lilly, at the kitchen sink, one of those cheap griddle pans in her hand, running the faucet at full blast and swearing mightily as she scraped what appeared to be charred pancakes off the griddle with a plastic spatula and washed them down the drain.

Scotty suppressed his laughter and crossed the room with a grin, opening a window to let out the smoke before gently placing a hand on Lilly's shoulder. "Lil?" he asked. "What…what's goin' on?"

Lilly sighed in frustration, and dropped the pan into the sink with a metallic clatter, then shut off the water with far more force than necessary. "I'm making you breakfast…well…trying to, anyway," she admitted, in a defeated tone, as a faint blush crept into her cheeks.

Scotty chuckled slightly, but his amusement rapidly gave way to a flood of love. She…Lilly Rush…who didn't cook…was making him breakfast. He was touched.

"Aw, Lil," he said softly. "That's real sweet, but…you don't have to, y'know."

"I want to," she burst out. "I wanna not be helpless in the kitchen, I wanna actually be able to make one thing turn out right for once in my life! Dammit, I just wanna make a fucking batch of pancakes!"

She sounded near tears, and Scotty panicked briefly. He didn't have any idea how to handle a crying Lil; he'd never seen it before, and he wasn't prepared for it now. He was dumbfounded. After all the shit that she'd been dragged through in her life, after her mom and Christina and George and all the rest…_pancakes _were about to make her cry?

Inspiration suddenly hit as he threw his arm around Lilly's shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. He might not be able to fix her crappy, screwed-up life, might not be able to heal all the scars she carried on her heart, much as he wanted to…but this? This, he could do. He could fix this. Satisfied, he pressed a kiss to her cheek, then turned the water back on and started cleaning off the pan.

"Dammit, Scotty," Lilly snapped. "I don't want you to make me breakfast. I wanna make _you _breakfast."

"Oh, I ain't makin' breakfast," he replied calmly, drying the pan with a towel and holding it out to her. "You are."

Time seemed to stand still as they stared at each other for a moment, Lilly's blue eyes still sparking with frustration, Scotty's brown ones warm and confident. Finally, with a sigh, she took the pan from his hand. Scotty nodded with satisfaction and crossed the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Lilly glared in his direction. "So…what…you're just gonna stand there with your coffee and watch me make an ass of myself charring another batch?" she sputtered in disbelief.

Scotty set his coffee cup down on the counter, shoved a bowl of fruit to the side, and pushed himself up, perching on the counter and meeting her eyes with a lopsided grin. "Nope. I'm gonna teach you how to make pancakes."

Lilly's eyes widened in surprise, and she let out a small laugh.

"Don't look so shocked, Lil," Scotty chuckled. "I know how to make pancakes. I ain't lived at home since high school, and that's been a while. I can find my way around a kitchen."

"No, it's not that," Lilly replied with a wry grin. "Just hope you know what you're getting yourself into. In my family, cooked was whatever was spinnin' under the heat lamp at the 7-Eleven….so this is pretty much as good as it gets."

Scotty winced inwardly, but smiled on the outside. "You can do this, Lil. Cookin' ain't that hard…you just never had a good teacher."

"And you think you're the one, huh?" she asked, arching a brow at him with a skeptical half-smile before she turned back to stir the batter once more.

Scotty's heart leaped into his throat. His mind raced, wondering if Lilly was aware of what she'd just asked him…wondering if she knew how she'd worded that particular question.

He decided the simplest answer was probably the safest. "Yeah," he replied softly, "I do."

Something about the way Scotty's voice caressed his words made Lilly freeze for a moment, and, despite all the things inside her that screamed at her not to, she turned to look at him. A current passed between them as they met each other's eyes, and her heart filled with sudden fear and confusion. _Wait…what just happened here? We're just talking about pancakes…aren't we…?_

Reading the spark of apprehension in Lilly's eyes, Scotty cleared his throat, breaking the spell that had just come over them, and Lilly sighed inwardly with relief. He _had_ been just talking about pancakes. She wasn't reading too much into that…moment…or whatever the hell just happened. So…what on earth was this silly spark of hope doing in her heart?

"So…uh…what happens when you try to make pancakes? How do they turn out?" Scotty asked, trying to keep his tone as light and professional as possible.

Lilly rolled her eyes. "Charred on the outside, raw on the inside."

"Heat's too high," Scotty replied confidently. "Whatcha got that thing set at?"

She glanced down at the burner. "Eight," she said sheepishly.

"Try a six," he instructed, and she made the adjustment. "How's your batter taste?"

"Like…pancake batter, I guess," Lilly replied, shoving the bowl in his direction, and he sampled the batter with a fingertip.

"Batter's pretty good. Needs a little more sugar, and you're good to go," he pronounced. "But…you might wanna make a double batch. I'm starved."

Lilly rolled her eyes , cracked another egg into the bowl and mixed up another batch of batter as Scotty sipped his coffee and watched her. The batter wasn't her problem, that was for sure. He'd definitely had worse.

"Batter's ready," she proclaimed with a small degree of satisfaction.

"Okay," Scotty replied. "Is the pan ready?"

Lilly glanced at him helplessly. "Maybe?" she replied uncertainly.

"Here's how you know," Scotty began, as he hopped down from the counter and turned on the faucet just long enough to get a few drops of water on his fingers.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Testin' your griddle," he replied with a grin, then flung the water onto the pan and watched in satisfaction as the droplets danced across the surface briefly before disappearing in a small wisp of steam.

"What the hell is that?" Lilly demanded.

"See how they sizzle like that?" Scotty asked. "That's how you know the griddle is nice and…hot," he replied, wiggling his brows suggestively on the last word.

Lilly chuckled at the lusty amusement she could read in his eyes. "Later," she said firmly. "I got pancakes to make."

Tentatively, cautiously, she poured a ladleful of the batter onto the griddle, and anxiously watched as the pancake began to cook.

"Shouldn't I turn it?" she asked, casting a worried glance at Scotty.

"Not yet," he replied smoothly. "You gotta wait for the bubbles, and it's gotta…kinda set up a little bit around the edges."

Lilly shot him a brief glare. "This pancake turns out to be crap, it's your fault," she warned.

"No dice, Rush…I ain't the one cookin' it," he retorted with a cocky grin.

Finally, Lilly saw those bubbles Scotty had been talking about, and gingerly wiggled the spatula underneath the pancake and flipped it over to reveal a perfectly round disc of golden brown, delicious perfection.

"Oh, my God!" she burst out gleefully, beginning to giggle with joy. "I did it!"

Scotty couldn't help the satisfied smile that crept across his face. Lilly Rush, the woman who had singlehandedly broken more doers than he could count, the woman who could bring the most cold-blooded murderer to his knees with just a look and a few carefully chosen words, the woman who had taken down the most notorious serial killer in Philadelphia with a single shot, was almost giddily proud of herself at a perfectly executed pancake. It was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen, and he had never loved her more than he did in that moment.

Lilly caught him watching her, and met his eyes with a triumphant smile. Suddenly, she dropped her spatula, crossed the room, and began kissing him. He moaned softly as her lips caressed his, and electricity shot through his body when she gently pushed his lips open with her tongue.

He tangled his hands in her hair and let himself devour her for a minute. Oh, God, the things he wanted to do to her then and there, pancakes be damned. But Scotty knew she'd never forgive him if this pancake burned, too. Reluctantly, he pulled away.

"Lil?" he murmured, leaning his forehead against hers and softly caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"Yeah?" she replied breathlessly.

A grin started to creep across his face. "You…uh…might wanna take that pancake off the griddle before the other side burns."

"Crap!" Lilly burst out, and dashed back to the stove. The back side was a little darker than she would have liked, but she was wildly happy that it wasn't charred. She just hoped the inside was done. Flipping the pancake out onto a plate, she dug a fork out of the drawer and handed it to Scotty with a smile.

"Huh-uh," he said, shaking his head. "You're takin' the first bite."

Lilly laughed. "Wanna make sure I don't keel over dead before you risk it? I wouldn't blame you."

"No," Scotty smiled. "You made it; you get first bite."

Lilly rolled her eyes, then slathered the pancake with butter and syrup and raised an experimental bite to her lips.

"Hey," she said after a moment's thoughtful chewing. "This is pretty damn good!"

"Course it is," Scotty agreed, with a cocky grin. "You got yourself a kick-ass teacher."

Lilly grinned. "Modest, too," she replied around a bite of pancake. "Just for that, I'm eatin' this whole thing myself."

"Good," Scotty shot back, sipping his coffee. "I don't like mine that dark, anyway."

Lilly glared at him playfully, took another bite of pancake, then set the plate down and headed back over to the griddle. Warmth flooded her heart as she pondered how her morning had turned out. Scotty hadn't flown in like Superman to rescue her, he hadn't tried to psychoanalyze her, he hadn't cut and run. He'd just taught her how to make pancakes.

She considered him for a moment as that hope grew stronger. Maybe…just maybe…

"Thanks, Scotty," she said simply, meeting his eyes.

"You're welcome," he replied, as she turned back to the stove. "I love you," he added, in the barest of whispers.


	26. Mi Vida Loca

**A/N: This chapter opens the last case they'll deal with in this story, but there are still several more chapters!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Simple as that.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Mi Vida Loca**

The pancakes had turned out to be delicious. Lilly couldn't believe she'd actually succeeded in making breakfast for Scotty. Granted, he'd had to help her, but…

No…she suddenly realized. He hadn't helped her. He'd just given her the tools to be able to do it herself. He seemed to…just get that about her, it seemed. Maybe the fact that they'd known each other for so long helped him figure her out…at least, as well as anyone could.

Scotty, for his part, had found it increasingly difficult over the course of the weekend to keep his feelings to himself. He thought that his brief, whispered "I love you" would take the pressure off; would give him the satisfaction of having said it without the disaster he was sure would result if she'd heard it. But it did exactly the opposite. He wanted her to hear it, he realized. He…well…wanted to know if she loved him back.

Dammit. This was getting complicated.

* * *

Monday morning, despite their efforts not to arrive together, Scotty and Lilly found themselves arriving at Headquarters at exactly the same time. With a shrug, they wordlessly admitted defeat and headed into the squad room at the same time.

As they settled into their desks, Jeffries strode past with a mug of coffee and smiled at the two. "Morning," he greeted them casually. "Good to be home?"

"Nothin' like your own bed," Lilly replied.

"You two have a good weekend?" he asked nonchalantly, and received a wordless shrug from Lilly and a noncommittal response from Scotty.

Okay, so this was how they wanted to play the game, he realized with a smile. He hadn't exactly expected them to be particularly open about it, and Jeffries decided to bide his time. He wasn't sure how many people knew about their…whatever it was that was going on; there was no way Vera knew, Jeffries decided, because Vera wouldn't have been able to keep something like that a secret. No way. He knew Nick Vera better than that. But Miller…maybe. He'd have to check that out later.

His reverie was interrupted when Vera and Miller walked in, trading insults as usual. They were followed closely by Stillman.

"Mornin', everybody," the boss greeted the squad.

"Got somethin', Boss?" Lilly asked him. She knew that look in his eyes, the look he got when he found them a new case.

"Got a call from CSU this morning," he replied. "Car accident over the weekend. Tim Talbot, killed on impact."

"Did you tell 'em we don't work car accidents, Boss?" Scotty asked with a lopsided grin.

"We do when they're homicide," Stillman answered. "Cops at the scene discovered the brakes had been tampered with."

"Isn't this one a little…fresh?" Jeffries asked, frowning in confusion.

"This one is," Stillman answered. "But Tim Talbot worked in the same office as an unsolved one a few years back."

"Yeah?" Lilly asked. "Which one?"

"Ann Neese," Stillman replied, consulting his notes. "Also killed in an accident…four years ago yesterday."

"Well, that's a peculiar coincidence," Miller commented.

Stillman nodded. "Cause of her accident was listed as…"

"Brake failure," Jeffries finished, exchanging glances with the other detectives.

"Exactly," Stillman agreed.

"So, what is this guy, some kinda office worker serial killer that likes to make 'em look like accidents?" Vera asked, half-jokingly.

Stillman peered at them over the rims of his glasses. "Well, somebody seems to be pickin' 'em off one by one," he replied.

"We got a Tim-Ann connect?" Lilly asked.

"Other than the fact that they were co-workers, no," Stillman answered.

"Well, looks like somebody had it out for both of 'em," Scotty remarked.

"Sure does," Stillman replied.

He then dispatched Scotty and Lilly to talk to Ann's parents, to tell them they were re-opening the case, sent Jeffries and Miller to find the people involved in Ann's accident, and told Vera to go talk to CSU about the brakes on Ann's car.

* * *

Late that afternoon, Scotty headed into the observation room just as Jeffries was heading out of the interview room with a defeated sigh, Miller close on his heels.

"You needed my help?" he asked, as Lilly followed him in. Jeffries had called Scotty's cell just as he and Lilly had finished an interview with Ann's former fiancé. The call had been cryptic, but Jeffries had said he needed Scotty's particular expertise. Scotty wasn't sure quite what that might have been, but they headed back to the office.

Jeffries indicated the young Hispanic man sitting glumly at the table with a jerk of his thumb. "This numbskull is the guy Tim ran into when his brakes failed…Miguel Rodriguez. Fled the scene, but they rounded him up anyway. He's a Mexican illegal; doesn't speak a word of English."

Scotty grinned. "We'll see about that," he replied. "I'm pretty sure I speak a language he'll understand," he finished as he strode into the interview room.

"_Que tal, amigo_," he greeted Miguel. "Wanna tell me why you left the scene of an accident?"

No response. Miguel just blinked in confusion.

"_Entiende?"_ Scotty asked. "_Habla espanol_?"

Silence.

Scotty sighed. "_No habla ingles_, but you can't understand my Spanish, is that it?"

Scotty sat down across from him. "_Si, asi como quiere jugar_," he replied, whipping out his cell phone. "I got a cousin who works in Ice, so here's the deal, amigo. Either you tell me everything you saw in the next ten seconds, or we bounce your sorry ass onto the next bus to the border." He dialed a number, and Miguel looked at him in alarm.

"Oye, Jorgito," Scotty said cheerfully into the phone.

"No," the guy finally said. "_Entiendo. Hablo espanol_."

Scotty lowered the phone and prodded Miguel, who looked nervously from side to side and finally launched into his story, peppered with questions in Spanish from Scotty.

Behind the glass, Lilly looked on in amazement. She just couldn't get over the contrast. When Scotty spoke English, he sounded just like any other guy from Philly, but his Spanish…holy crap. It was flawless, musical, and, Lilly realized with horror, also incredibly sexy. Dammit. She'd heard him speak Spanish on the job a number of times, of course, but that was before…she cursed her pale skin as she felt her cheeks flushing and her heart racing. Unbidden memories sprang to mind of the Spanish endearments Scotty had whispered in her ear as they made love the night before.

Jeffries watched Lilly curiously. The pink blush creeping into her cheeks as she watched Scotty was…kind of adorable, really. And also, a dead giveaway. He glanced over at Miller, who also watched Lilly with a sparkle of amusement in her eye.

Lilly glanced at them and her blood ran cold as she realized they were both staring at her. "What?" she asked warily.

Miller answered first. "I know for a fact you ain't thinkin' about this case," she remarked.

Lilly tried to protest, but Jeffries leaped in smoothly. "You're hangin' on every word of that Spanish pretty close," he mused teasingly.

"Just trying to follow the interview," Lilly lied.

"Oh, give me a break," Miller sighed. "You're standin' here practically droolin'. I sure as hell know where your mind is."

"Yeah? Where?" Lilly asked weakly.

"You're thinkin' about Casanova," she said confidently. "Whoever the hell he is."

Jeffries shot Miller an incredulous glance. Had Kat really not figured it out? He was dumbfounded.

Lilly glanced nervously from one colleague to the other, and realized she was defeated. Her best option was a hasty retreat.

"You got me," she sighed, then smiled brightly. "Besides, I can't understand much Spanish anyway. In fact, I don't even know what the hell I'm doing in here. Let me know what Scotty finds out from this guy. I've got work to do." She left the observation room without a backward glance.

Miller shot Jeffries an amused look as Lilly swept by. "That Casanova guy's makin' her head spin," she commented.

Jeffries briefly entertained the notion of spilling the beans to Miller, then decided against it, suddenly realizing that waiting to see how long it would take her and Vera to figure things out would be far more entertaining.

"Casanova…right," Jeffries said with a smile. "Do we even know his real name?"

Miller shrugged. "Lil won't tell me anything about him, but I did get her to admit that the sex is pretty hot."

Jeffries choked back a laugh. "Well, that's…good," he mused, a touch uncomfortably. Knowing what he knew, that was information he really, _really_ didn't want.

"I can't wait to meet him, to be honest," Miller said, as Scotty rose from his seat and started to head back into the observation room.

"You and me both," Jeffries smiled, as Scotty returned from his interview.

"Get anything good, Scotty?" Miller asked, as Jeffries choked back another laugh. Scotty recapped the interview briefly for his colleagues, then glanced around the observation room.

"Hey, where's Lil?" he asked suddenly. "Wasn't she in here earlier?"

"She was," Miller said, arching a brow.

"Well, where'd she go?" he asked.

"All that Spanish was a little too hot for her to handle," Miller said teasingly.

"No kiddin'," Scotty remarked, his heart beginning to race at the possibilities.

Jeffries smiled. "Said somethin' about it remindin' her of Casanova, and then took off like a shot," he explained.

Scotty suppressed the grin that threatened engulf his entire face. "I think I can have some fun with this," he announced teasingly, heading out of the observation room. Miller also left, muttering something about rustling up some dinner.

Jeffries couldn't suppress the laugh that escaped his lips. Work was suddenly a lot more…amusing…than normal. "I'll just bet you can," he chuckled, as Scotty left.

Gathering up his notes, Jeffries switched gears and turned his detective skills to putting two and two together with Scotty and Lil. He knew they had to have been together since that morning when Valens came in with that Cheshire Cat grin plastered on his face…but had anything been going on before then?

It suddenly hit him. That solid week of fighting they'd had after they went to Tennessee; that week when Lil had cut out early every night, and Scotty'd been slamming drawers and sniping at everyone, and Vera had lost at sports trivia for the first time Jeffries could remember…

Jeffries suddenly realized that it had been going on since...before that. When was the first opportunity they would have had?

The truth dawned on him, and a smile spread across his face. It…it had to have happened…in Nashville.

_Well...guess you better never underestimate the power of country music, _he mused with a chuckle.

* * *

Lilly sat at her desk, desperately trying to focus on the case. That had been way too close. She couldn't believe she'd just spent an entire interview staring through that glass, drooling over Scotty like a damn teenager. She didn't think either one of her colleagues had guessed the source of her staring, though, and that was just fine with her. Let them think she was lovesick over Casanova all they wanted, she didn't care. As long as they didn't find out who Casanova really was, she would take all the crap they cared to dish out.

With a sigh, Lilly tucked a stray tendril of blonde hair behind her ear and flipped through the notes from the original interviews. So successful was she in distracting herself that she didn't notice Scotty come back into the squad room. "_Buenas tardes, bella_," he whispered playfully in her ear.

Lilly whirled around. "You cannot do that here," she hissed.

"_Por que no_?" Scotty asked innocently.

"Dammit, Scotty," she burst out.

"What? It's parta the job," he finished with a shrug. "Can I help it that I'm the only detective around here who speaks any kinda Spanish?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Lilly replied in a fierce whisper.

Scotty arched an eyebrow at her as he settled into his desk. "_Te gusta el espanol, no_?" When she didn't respond, he switched to English. "I thought you liked Spanish," he said teasingly.

Lilly glared icily at him, but her glare did nothing to disguise the desire that flared in her eyes. "You know perfectly well that I like it," she said between clenched teeth.

Oh, Scotty knew, but he sure as hell didn't know how _much _she liked it, he realized, as he saw the rapid pounding of Lilly's pulse at the base of her throat. Good God. He had no idea he had this kind of power over her. It was intoxicating. It was exhilarating. It was dangerous.

Scotty shot her a wicked glance and launched into a murmured torrent of Spanish.

"Stop it," she insisted. Scotty laughed.

"What the hell did you even say to me, anyway?" Lilly demanded softly, curiosity getting the better of her.

Scotty glanced around furtively, saw that they were alone, and leaned over. "Just told you…in detail… what I'm gonna do to you tonight," he whispered seductively.

Lilly's breath caught in her throat as she met his smoldering gaze. The look in his eyes told her exactly what he intended, and she felt her heart racing. She could _feel _the heat of his look. She might as well have been naked, the way he was looking at her. She fervently wished they weren't at work, wished she could just grab him, rip his clothes off, and take him then and there.

Scotty smiled knowingly. "_Quiero tu cuerpo_," he purred, giving the r's in the words a few extra trills.

That did it. Lilly had to get the hell out of there, or she was going to lose it completely. She stood up, gathered up the file, and hightailed it around the corner…

…where she ran smack into Vera. The file went flying, scattering scene photos everywhere, and Lilly watched in horror as the donut Vera carried sailed through the air and landed in the outstretched hands of Kat Miller.

"Nice one, Lil," she congratulated her friend, taking a bite of Vera's donut. "This oughta tide me over 'til dinner."

"What the…?" Vera demanded. "Where's my donut? What the hell just happened here?"

Lilly didn't answer, just frantically gathered up the files and headed for the elevator.

"What the hell's her problem?" he asked Miller.

"Dunno," Miller replied. "I'm thinkin' we mighta found Lil's Achilles heel?"

"Rush has an Achilles heel?" Vera asked incredulously. "I'm all ears."

"Spanish," Miller replied with confidence. "Makes her think about Casanova, and she starts blushin' like a damn schoolgirl."

"Spanish? Too bad I don't know any," Vera replied. "Maybe I can get Valens to teach me some."

"Bet you can," Miller replied with a wicked grin as she polished off her unexpected donut, ignoring Vera's annoyed glare.

* * *

Continuing down the hallway, Lilly headed straight for the ladies' room, where she couldn't believe she actually had to soak a paper towel with cold water and hold it to her burning skin. She had no idea what had gotten into her, no idea how Scotty could drive her so absolutely crazy that she was at risk of letting the cat out of the bag. She wanted nothing more than to find some isolated place at Headquarters and just let him take her, and Lilly Rush didn't do that. She was _never _that unprofessional. She _never _let a man get the best of her. Ever.

Until now, she realized with chagrin.

Scotty seemed to have taken over her mind; she couldn't concentrate on work anymore. Not today. It was hopeless. As long as he was sitting there, shooting her those sultry glances and saying things in Spanish, trying to think about the case was utterly pointless. Glancing at her watch, Lilly realized with surprise and pleasure that it was after six. As far as she knew, they'd gone as far as they could that day; Vera and Jeffries were going to follow up on the leads obtained from Scotty's interview with Miguel, but she knew neither one of them were planning to stay late that night. If she could just finish up the paperwork she'd been dealing with, she and Scotty could get out of there.

She tossed the paper towel in the trash can, having regained some semblance of a normal demeanor, and headed back into the squad room, where Miller perched on Scotty's desk, the two munching on some kind of dinner, although Lilly couldn't see what.

"Hey, Lil," Miller greeted her around a mouthful of whatever she was eating.

"What are you having?" Lilly asked.

"Mexican," Miller replied gleefully. "Help yourself, there's plenty."

_Oh, crap. This is going downhill in a hurry. _

"Mexican, huh?" Lilly repeated casually, trying her best to avoid looking in Scotty's direction, to avoid giving him even the slightest bit of encouragement.

Too late, she realized, as she failed in her attempts to avoid his eyes and caught him glancing impishly in her direction. "Yeah," he replied, arching a brow. "My, uh…cousin Jorge from Ice knows all the good places."

Lilly shot him a glare.

"Wanna know what we got?" Miller asked mischievously.

"Not really," Lilly answered, her cheeks already warming.

"Tell her, Scotty," Miller pressed, although Scotty didn't need any help from her.

"Tacos," he said teasingly, his accent the epitome of perfection. "Enchiladas. Fajitas. Burrrrrrritos." He grinned wickedly at her as Miller burst out laughing.

Despite her rising temperature, Lilly remained outwardly calm. "Nice try, Valens," she replied casually.

"Guess it only works when you're picturin' Casanova speaking Spanish," Miller mused. "Damn. I was hopin' that'd be a lot more fun."

Scotty glanced at Lilly quizzically. Either his unintentional Spanish seduction had just been a one-time thing, or Lilly Rush was a better actress than he thought. He briefly entertained the idea of upping the ante, but with Miller sitting right there, he decided against it.

"Chimichangas," he shot in her direction. Oops. Guess his libido never got that memo.

Lilly glared at him icily, and Scotty knew then that he'd gotten to her. He supposed he should have felt guilty about it, but he was having too damn much fun to think about that.

"Have some," Miller indicated the bag with her fork. "We all know how much you like anything Spanish."

Sudden inspiration struck Lilly, and she began to gather up her things. "I'd love to stay, but I'm meeting …someone… for drinks in a few minutes." She headed for the hallway, then turned around and glanced at them triumphantly. "Enjoy your dinner," she called over her shoulder, then breezed out.

Scotty and Miller exchanged a glance. "She must really like this one," Miller mused.

Scotty fought the proud smile that threatened to engulf his face. "Yeah? What makes you say that?"

"Don't think that girl's ever left work before me," Miller replied.

Scotty was about to answer when his phone vibrated against his pocket, indicating he had a text message. _Text message? _he wondered inwardly, as he fished for his phone. Who the hell would be sending him a text message?

His heart raced when he realized it was from Lilly, and began to race even more when he read the message. "My place ASAP," it read. Trying to disguise his glee, he flipped the phone closed and replaced it in its holder.

"Everything okay?" Miller asked him.

"Yeah, everything's cool," he responded lightly, polishing off his taco. "Just my sister-in-law remindin' me to pick up the cake."

"Cake?" Miller asked, arching a brow.

"Yeah…it's my nephew's birthday," he lied smoothly.

"Didn't know you even had a nephew," Miller replied.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Miller," Scotty returned with a cocky grin.

* * *

When Scotty finally knocked on the door, Lilly sighed with relief. She was almost ashamed to admit how much she wanted him in that moment. She was nearly insane with desire, and he wasn't even in the room yet.

"It's open," she called, and as Scotty pushed the door open, he was astonished, and pleased, to see her wearing that black negligee she'd had in New York. Holy mother of God…she looked even more delicious in that than he'd pictured. She was so sexy it was almost painful, and he felt his body instantly responding to her as she sauntered through the living room, her sapphire eyes glittering with desire.

Lilly didn't say a word, just grabbed his tie, pulled him in, pressed him up against the door, and began devouring him. She shoved his coat to the floor, frantically loosened his tie and threw it somewhere, then rapidly unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled the clip from her hair, causing her blonde locks to tumble over her shoulders like a waterfall, then reluctantly lowered his hands to undo the buttons at his wrists. This done, he shrugged out of his shirt and felt it fall to the floor on top of his jacket.

"You wanna take this to the bedroom?" he murmured against her lips.

"Ask me in Spanish," she demanded breathlessly. He obliged, and they stumbled up the stairs then, shedding the rest of their clothing as they went.

The second they reached Lilly's bedroom, she flipped back the covers on her bed and playfully pushed him down onto it. Scotty grinned in amusement. "Guess that Spanish stuff really works, huh?"

Lilly shot him a dazzling smile. "Guess it must," she replied lightly, then straddled him.

He groaned with pleasure as she perched on top of him, as she blazed a trail of kisses from his lips down the center of his throat to his chest, then lower, toward his stomach, while her hands massaged his thighs. He noticed she was pointedly avoiding the one place he was begging her to touch, and it was driving him crazy. He felt sweat beading on his body as she laid into him, as her talented tongue traced circles of fire on his skin.

"More Spanish," she demanded.

"You don't even know what it means," he panted.

"Not a word," she replied breathlessly.

"But you like it anyway," he murmured, as her lips brushed against his once more.

"Always," she replied, as she claimed his lips and twined her tongue around his.

Scotty was absolutely astounded. He'd never seen this side of Lil, this demanding, take-charge, wild side, and he found that he liked it. He really, really liked it.

As she broke the kiss and began to trace circles on that world-stopping spot behind his earlobe, Scotty hastily searched his mind for some Spanish, any Spanish, and then had a sudden flash of inspiration. Lil didn't understand a word of Spanish, and Scotty realized, with a huge sense of relief, that this meant he could say to her in Spanish…all the things he couldn't in English.

He poured forth a breathless torrent of Spanish then. _I love you, Lil. I love you with all my heart. You're the most beautiful, most amazing woman I've ever seen, and I wanna hold you and care for you and be with you and make you laugh and hold you up when you can't stand on your own. I wanna do all those things until the day I die. You make me happier than I've ever been, and I hope to God I can make you feel the same way. I don't know what the hell I ever did to deserve you, but I wanna get down on my knees every day and thank God for lettin' this happen. I love everything about you. I love your blue eyes, your blonde hair, your smile…I love your body…I can't think of a time when I won't look at you and want you then and there…I love how tough you are on the outside and how fragile you are on the inside. I love your mind, I love your dedication, I love you. I love you. I love you._

And then he couldn't talk anymore, because she'd somehow found a condom, sheathed him, and then lowered herself onto him and, he could barely even catch his breath. God, what she was doing felt so good he couldn't even see straight. His vision blurred and primal sounds tore from his throat as she started to do that figure-eight thing again.

Suddenly, he realized that if she kept doing what she was doing, he'd finish long before she did, and he'd be damned if he let that happen. Lil wanted him, so by God, she was going to get him. The absolute best he had to offer.

Meanwhile, Lilly's world was whirling at an alarming pace, and her heart was beating so frantically she thought it might actually escape from her chest. Suddenly, she felt Scotty gripping her slick shoulders and flipping her over. She yelped in surprise, but the glint in Scotty's eyes told her he knew exactly what he was doing, and that she should just relax and enjoy the ride.

He reached between them with one hand and found her center, and she cried out in pleasure as he rubbed it while he continued to thrust inside her. He brought her to the mountaintop slowly; achingly, deliciously slowly, and, during those rare moments her eyes could focus, saw Scotty gazing at her with both tenderness and intensity. God, his eyes were so beautiful. He was beautiful. In every sense of the word.

She came then, screaming in pleasure, fisting the sheets, tears pricking her eyes, but Scotty didn't stop. He backed off slightly, then ramped it up again, resulting in wave upon wave of glorious ecstasy. The end of one was the beginning of the next, on and on and on. Her throat hurt; her mouth was dry, but she didn't care, didn't care if she ever came down from the mountain. Scotty was amazing. She couldn't believe how amazing he was.

Finally, her whole body trembled as she exploded once more, and Scotty slowed his pace then, let her come down from the mountain, gasping for breath and still trembling as she grabbed his arm, hoping for some stability in her rapidly spinning universe. She opened her eyes to find him still gazing at her, and she raised her head to kiss his lips.

"That what you said you were gonna do to me earlier?" she asked hoarsely.

"Some of it," he growled. "I ain't done yet."

He pinned her hands over her head and laced his fingers through hers as he began to thrust in earnest, wanting to make her come one final, glorious time, but he wasn't sure he could hold on long enough. The way she lay there, her ivory skin glistening with sweat, her blue eyes darkened with satisfaction, her hair fanned out on the pillow…God, she was beautiful.

Just when he thought he couldn't hang on any longer, she came again, fighting against his hands, wanting desperately to wrap her arms around him, but he didn't let go until he finished seconds later with a guttural growl, and then he collapsed on top of her, completely spent.

"Thank you," she whispered, as she ran her hands up and down the slick skin of his back. "Thank you," she kept whispering, over and over again. "God, Scotty…that was amazing…you're amazing…"

Despite the fact that he still couldn't catch his breath, couldn't quite force his eyes to focus, he managed to kiss whatever skin was right beneath his lips. Could have been her neck, could have been her shoulder, he wasn't sure, and he didn't care. He loved every part of her with an intensity he didn't know was possible.

"You're welcome," he finally managed. "And…you…that was just mind-blowin'."

"Really?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh, God, yes," he agreed, rolling off her to one side. "I ain't never seen that side of you, Lil."

"Like it?" she asked, almost shyly.

He pressed a kiss to her lips. "_Claro que si,"_ he replied.

* * *

**A/N: Pesky real life is set to intrude, so I'm not sure how long it'll take me to get the next chapter up. I'll try to make it soon!**


	27. I Wonder

**A/N: Surprise! I had more time than I thought.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, Cold Case would have many more scenes like this one.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: I Wonder**

John Stillman sighed in contentment as he glanced around the squad room on his way to the coffee maker for a refill. All five of his detectives were out on interviews, and the office was actually on the quiet side for once. Stillman took the rare opportunity to enjoy a bit of the peace as he strolled to the kitchen. It seemed like things with the squad had been really…unsettled, almost antsy lately, what with all the road trips, the flowers, the donuts, and God alone knew what else. He likened it to one of those long, frigid winters he remembered from when he was a kid, when the schoolteachers would practically pull their hair out at the restlessness of children who had been cooped up inside for far too long. His detectives were starting to act much the same way, and Stillman hoped, as he filled his coffee cup, that spring would arrive soon and maybe take some of the edge off.

Stirring his coffee, he glanced down at the counter and realized that somehow, a single donut remained in the box, nestled among the stray sprinkles and random smears of frosting. Stillman was astounded. There were never any donuts left anymore, not after whatever the hell had been going on with Vera and Miller. He didn't know exactly when, how, or why it had started, but before he knew it, those two were fighting over donuts, of all things, tormenting each other like six-year-olds on a playground. Stillman wasn't quite sure what to make of it, but at this moment, he didn't much care. There was a donut to be eaten. With a satisfied grin, he grabbed it out of the box and took a large bite, relishing both the quiet and the rare opportunity for an afternoon snack.

His peaceful solitude didn't last as long as he would have liked, Stillman realized when he heard Vera's gravelly voice echoing down the corridor as he and Jeffries returned from an interview with some of Tim and Ann's former co-workers. Strolling out to the squad room to greet them, he popped the last of the donut into his mouth and washed it down with another sip of coffee.

"How'd the interview go?" he asked the detectives, as they headed into the office and shrugged out of their overcoats.

Vera shook his head and draped his coat over the back of his chair. "You sure meet some weirdos on this job," he commented drily.

Jeffries offered an explanation. "Mike DeGroot's a real right-wing nutjob. Kept droning on about the second amendment and all of that. Plus, the man collects those…bobble head dolls. Went on and on about those, too." He rolled his eyes and shrugged in response to the boss's quizzical glance.

"Only thing we really got out of him is that Tim Talbot used to play practical jokes on him all the time," Vera added, grabbing his empty coffee mug.

Stillman raised an eyebrow and peered at Vera over the rims of his glasses. "Practical jokes?"

"Mostly harmless," Vera explained. "Funny shit, like puttin' all DeGroot's stuff in the vending machine, or puttin' his stapler in Jell-O."

"Jell-O?" Stillman repeated, his brow creasing in disbelief.

"Funny as hell," Vera continued. Amusement sparkling in his eyes, he glanced toward his partner. "You know, maybe we oughta start doin' stuff like that around here. Liven the place up a bit. We got any Jell-O?" he asked suddenly, glancing toward the kitchen.

"You stay the hell away from my stapler, Nick," Jeffries warned with a smile.

Vera laughed, the conversation with DeGroot still fresh in his mind. "This one time, Talbot came to work dressed exactly like DeGroot, and even started in on a lecture about wolves."

"Wolves?" Stillman was at a complete loss for words, and briefly wished he'd gone on this interview. This DeGroot character sounded like he might have been an entertaining fellow to chat with. He squelched that wish quickly, though. The quiet was worth it. And the donut had been an added bonus.

"Yeah, DeGroot's a veritable encyclopedia of wolf trivia," Vera replied, rolling his eyes again.

Confusion creased Stillman's brow. "Think those…practical jokes Tim played on him are…motive for murder?"

Vera shook his head. "Nah. DeGroot's a nut job all right, but he's got an alibi. We'll check it out, but I don't think he's got murder in him."

Jeffries nodded in agreement. "He seems harmless enough. Weird…but harmless. Besides, he didn't have anything against Ann. But he did say something interesting….apparently, Tim and Ann were pretty chummy at the office for a lotta years."

"How chummy?" Stillman replied, his detective antennae quivering as he took off his glasses and looked at the two detectives.

"Tim Talbot spent a lot of time at Ann's desk. A _lot_ of time," Vera explained.

"Doing what?" Stillman asked.

"Mostly just talking and joking around," Jeffries replied.

"Were they…involved?" asked Stillman, with an arched brow.

"Not that DeGroot could tell us. It just seemed like they were really good friends," Jeffries replied. "Everybody we talked to said Tim and Ann would have made a great couple, but he was seeing someone, and, of course, she'd been engaged for almost four years. When we asked DeGroot about it, he swore up and down that if there'd been anything inappropriate going on between them, he'd have reported it to the proper authorities." The detective rolled his eyes. "Can't imagine what it'd be like workin' in that office."

"Kinda makes you grateful for Homicide," Vera agreed, heading into the kitchen.

Stillman didn't have time to answer before Miller strode in, a triumphant expression on her face. "This case just got a hell of a lot more interesting," she proclaimed proudly.

"Sounds like you had a productive morning," Stillman offered, glancing toward her.

"I had a fascinating conversation with the bartender at the Hilton in Scranton," she began. "Tim and Ann went to a sales convention there about two months before Ann was killed. And accordin' to him, they were gettin' pretty cozy one night."

"Cozy how?" Jeffries asked, an amused grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

Miller dug around in her bag for a minute. "Well, as luck would have it…" she began, her words punctuated by the rustling of items in her bag, "…we can see for ourselves," she finished triumphantly, holding up a videotape. "This is the security tape from the hotel bar the last night of the convention. Tim and Ann feature…shall we say…prominently." With a proud smile, she handed the tape to Stillman, who motioned them all into his office.

Jeffries helped Stillman roll the TV to the center of the room, and the boss slid the tape into the VCR. He fished in his desk drawer for a minute, looking for the remote control, then found it, pointed it at the TV, and clicked. Nothing happened.

"This damn thing never works right," he muttered, clicking the buttons again.

"Another genius cost-cutting measure, no doubt," Jeffries commented drily, as he took a seat in one of the chairs.

"Oh, you know it," Stillman muttered. Miller rolled her eyes in agreement and perched on the edge of the boss's desk.

Finally, the TV clicked to life, and Stillman smiled triumphantly. "Here we go," he said, then noticed that one of his detectives was missing. "Where's Nicky?" he asked, looking around the office.

Vera strode in just then carrying a steaming bag of microwave popcorn. "_Somebody _took the last donut," he announced, glaring meaningfully at Miller.

"Oh, I would have," she retorted with a smile, "but my ass was in Scranton all day."

Vera glanced around quizzically for a minute before giving up with a slight shrug. "Anyway, the only thing I could find was this popcorn."

"Least you'll share that," Jeffries commented, helping himself to a handful.

"Hey," Vera protested, as Miller also dove her hand into the bag. "Get your own!"

"Showtime," Miller announced, as Stillman found the right spot on the tape and pressed the play button on the remote.

The security footage proved very enlightening indeed. The grainy, black and white image showed Tim sitting at the bar alone, sipping a drink for a few minutes, before Ann walked in, sat down next to him with a wide smile, and ordered a cocktail for herself. The two spent about half an hour sitting at the bar together, downing drinks, talking, laughing, just friendly at first. However, toward the end of the tape, things began to heat up. Ann, doubled over with laughter at something Tim had said, practically collapsed on the bar in a fit of tipsy giggles. Tim, equally amused, and equally tipsy, leaned over to help her up, and when she raised her head, he dove in impulsively and kissed her quickly on the cheek. The two froze, startled, and then slowly, deliberately, went in for another, longer kiss, this time on the lips. They gazed at each other for a moment, seemed to reach a wordless decision, and then Tim threw some cash on the bar and the two walked toward the elevator hand in hand, still gazing into one another's eyes.

Jeffries watched the video in utter amazement. He tried to concentrate on the case, tried hard, but he couldn't. Realization was slowly dawning on him that he was practically watching the beginning of the Rush-and-Valens romantic partnership. He theorized that this must have been exactly what had happened in Nashville: Scotty and Lil must have had too much to drink and gotten a bit too friendly. It was surreal, really. Astonishing. And very, very funny.

At the end of the tape, all the detectives exchanged thoughtful glances. "Well, this certainly gives us some new direction," Jeffries mused, polishing off the last of his popcorn in an attempt to hide the grin creeping across his face. If they didn't figure it out from this...he was really going to have to start seriously questioning the competence of his colleagues.

Recollection sparked in Vera's eyes. "Hey, somethin' DeGroot said makes a lot more sense now. Remember?" he asked suddenly, elbowing his partner.

Jeffries rolled his eyes. "I've been tryin' to forget every word outta that man's mouth," he said drily.

"No," Vera pressed excitedly. "Remember how he said he caught Tim and Ann fightin' in the break room when they got back? Like a couple of male wolves battling over territory?

"You were able to make sense of any of those ramblings?" Jeffries asked in amazement.

Vera smirked proudly. "Just gotta pay attention to the little things," he shrugged.

"Thanks for the tip," Jeffries replied drily. "I'll, uh…do that."

"You think DeGroot mighta been onto something with this…fighting wolves theory?" Stillman inquired.

"Well, if they got a little too friendly in Scranton, things sure coulda been awkward when they got back," Miller mused. "Didn't Tim have a girlfriend?"

Stillman nodded. "And Ann was engaged," he added.

"Well, then…I can think of a couple more people with motive for murder," Jeffries said, realization flickering in his dark eyes. _And a couple really, really unobservant homicide detectives. _He couldn't believe how dense his colleagues were.

"Nicky, you and Will go track down that fiancé of Ann's and talk to him again," Stillman instructed. "I'm gonna call Scotty and Lil. Sounds like they need to pay Tim's girlfriend a visit." He strode to his desk and picked up the phone.

"Goin' on a road trip and fightin' like cats and dogs when they get back," Vera said casually, as they trickled out of the lieutenant's office and headed back to their cluster of desks. "Talk about your dead giveaways."

Miller suddenly stopped short, gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth. "Oh….my God…" she burst out. Her two colleagues turned to face her.

"What is it?" Jeffries asked, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Could they finally, _finally_ be figuring it out?

Miller's eyes were the size of dinner plates, and Vera and Jeffries could see the wheels turning in her head. They watched as a myriad of expressions flitted across her face: first shock, then horror, then amusement, then disgust, and finally disbelief. She tried to speak, but only fragments of words would come out. Finally, she burst out laughing.

"You figure somethin' out there, Miller?" Jeffries ventured with a grin.

"Oh, my God…._oh _my _God_!" Miller exclaimed between giggles, smacking her desk with an open hand.

"Y'know, anytime you wanna get done havin' a coronary and tell us what you figured out, we're all ears," Vera griped impatiently, as Jeffries stifled a laugh.

"Son of a bitch," Miller replied, a look of amazement crossing her features. "_Scotty_… is the goddamned mystery cowboy!"

_Well, we're gettin' there, _Jeffries mused, sipping his coffee. This was the most entertaining thing to hit the squad room since…well, to be honest…he couldn't think of anything more entertaining in his entire career as a detective. He wished he still had some of Vera's popcorn to munch on.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Vera demanded in confusion. "Valens ain't no cowboy. He'd look pretty damn silly in one of them hats." Vera elbowed Jeffries, and the two chuckled.

"No," Miller pressed. "Lil's mystery cowboy…the guy she slept with in Nashville! It—it was _Scotty!_" She looked from Miller to Jeffries, her expression betraying her shock. Jeffries looked on in amusement.

Vera choked back a laugh. "Scotty…and Rush?" he repeated incredulously. "You're on a sugar high, Miller. No way in hell would those two ever hook up. He's…well…_him,_ and she's…no. Just…no. Not in a million years."

"I'm serious, guys… it all fits…" Miller paced back and forth as she began to put the pieces together. "Scotty and Lil went to Nashville together, and when they came back, they fought for a solid week." She glanced at her colleagues for confirmation, and they nodded, Jeffries with a knowing smile, Vera's utter disbelief still etched across his features.

Miller continued, counting the evidence on her fingers. "I got Lil to admit to sleepin' with some guy in Nashville, but she never said who…"

Vera shot Jeffries a triumphant glance. "Well, now I know you're dreamin', 'cause Valens didn't say crap about gettin' any in Nashville."

"Like he tells you everything," Miller retorted, rolling her eyes.

"Trust me," Vera replied confidently. "If he'd gotten some down south, I'd know about it."

"And then Lil starts gettin' flowers from this...Casanova," Jeffries reminded them, leading them, nearly giddy with how long it was taking them to reach the logical conclusion. He was eating this up.

"Remember when Lil showed up for the Simpson case a couple weeks ago? She seemed kinda…edgy," Miller said, deep in thought.

"And don't forget Scotty's…sex hair," Jeffries added encouragingly.

"Oh, my God!" Miller exclaimed again, the new revelation sending her into another paroxysm of shock. "_She _was Scotty's date! That hot blonde date of Scotty's we interrupted that night was…with _Lil! _Oh, my God! They—they didn't just sleep together in Nashville...they're together now! Holy shit! Scotty's Casanova! It--it was him the whole time!"

She paused, her expression changing from one of shocked triumph to one of slightly horrified disgust as she recalled certain conversations with Lilly in a new, disturbing light. "The whole time…" she mused again, with less enthusiasm.

Jeffries beamed proudly at his colleague. "I was wondering how long it'd take you to figure that out," he said smoothly.

Miller shot him an incredulous glance. "You _knew?_ _You? _And you didn't tell us? What—what the hell, Will?" she sputtered.

Jeffries just shrugged and continued to smile. "Guess this old detective's still got it," he said with satisfaction.

"Well, when did _you _figure it out?" Miller demanded, hands on her hips.

"When they got back from New York," Jeffries replied with a nonchalant shrug as he took a sip of coffee.

"New York?" Miller repeated, eyeing Jeffries suspiciously.

"Yeah…just saw the way they looked at each other. The look of love," he added, in his best Barry White voice. He then cast a meaningful glance at Vera. "You just gotta pay attention…to the little things," he concluded teasingly, taking no small degree of satisfaction in echoing his partner's earlier words. Vera responded by shooting him a glare.

"They've been doin' it for almost a month…I don't know whether to be horrified or impressed," Miller remarked. Jeffries nodded in agreement.

Miller smiled slyly then, recalling how utterly flustered Lilly had been that first morning she'd gotten back from Nashville. "Guess our boy Valens is pretty good in the sack," she mused suggestively.

"Oh, now I don't even wanna _begin_ to go there," Jeffries replied with a shudder, raising his hands in mock self-defense.

Vera, who until now had been stunned speechless, looked around wildly, sputtering in disbelief. "No way. No fuckin' way. Valens…and Rush? No way. They ain't that stupid."

Miller tossed Vera a withering look, and he reconsidered his position.

"Well…okay, _Valens_ is….but Rush? No way in hell. I ain't buyin' it. She'd kick his ass to Neptune if he tried anything with her. He--he banged her _sister, _for God's sake. Besides…picturin' the two of them together?" He shuddered. "That'd put a real kink in my fantasy life."

Miller glared at Vera. "You're disgusting, and you're also wrong," she tossed in his direction, still shaking her head in disbelief.

"Care to place a wager on that, Miller?" Vera asked casually, tossing a competitive glance in her direction.

'You bet your ass I would," Miller retorted, "because I'm right, and you know it."

"What the hell makes you so sure?" Vera groused.

"Woman's intuition," Miller replied with a smug smile.

"I still ain't buyin' it," Vera rejoined skeptically.

"If you two are gonna place a wager on this, you should probably set some terms," Jeffries reminded them.

Miller's eyes flashed as she folded her arms across her chest, met Vera's eyes, and raised herself to her full height. "One dozen of Philly's finest donuts, on my desk."

"Or mine, since there's no way in hell they're doin' it," Vera retorted, returning her stare with one of his own. "And how are we gonna figure this out, anyway? Ask 'em? 'Hey, Lil; hear Valens is pretty good in the sack; know anything about that?'"

"We could just confront 'em," Jeffries mused. "The three of us against the two of them. Tell 'em what we know, see what happens."

Miller got a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Or...we could have a little fun with 'em," she suggested.

"Get 'em in interrogation?" Jeffries asked.

Miller arched a brow. "Beat 'em at their own game, see if they crack?"

"Works with criminals," Jeffries smiled.

"Well…clearly, we have to do that," she said. Then, inspiration suddenly hit. "Hey, First Thursdays is this week!"

"I'll tell Scotty to bring the blonde," Vera said, "and when he shows up with somebody other than Lil…man, those donuts are gonna be good. I can taste 'em already."

"Well, obviously, you'll want to encourage Lil to bring her date," Jeffries said teasingly, nodding in Miller's direction.

"And Lil wouldn't dare skip First Thursdays again," Miller continued. "Not after last month. I'll drag her ass there myself if I have to. We'll get a couple drinks in 'em…get 'em to talk about Nashville, see what happens…"

Shaking her head, she glanced up at her colleagues. "This whole time, they've been goin' at it like a couple of damn rabbits right under our noses, and we haven't figured it out." She smiled in self-deprecation. "Either they're really good at keepin' secrets, or we are crappy-ass homicide detectives."

"Or, you know, you're maybe…what's that word I'm lookin' for? Oh, yeah. .._wrong_," Vera replied.

"No way in hell am I wrong," Miller maintained confidently. "Not about this." She glared at Vera for a minute, then smiled to herself and sat back down at her desk. "You two have a good interview. I'll go talk to a couple more of the co-workers, see if anything jogs their memory."

Jeffries threw his coat over his arm as he and Vera started to leave.

Vera glanced at Miller and shook his head in disbelief. "Well, if Lil _is_ the one that's puttin' that cheesy-ass grin all over Valens' face...and believe me, she ain't…but if she is…" he mused teasingly, "…guess that means I might need to quit the bar scene and start lookin' a little closer to home." He paused ever so slightly in front of Miller's desk.

Miller arched a brow at him. "Just keep walkin', white boy," she ordered.

Jeffries laughed heartily as Vera rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't flatter yourself, Miller," he groused, as he and Jeffries headed out.

**A/N: Wow, I wrote an entire chapter of a Lilly/Scotty fic where neither one of them appears. Don't worry, though. They'll be back.**


	28. Suspicious Minds

**A/N: Scotty and Lilly enjoyed their vacation from the last chapter and are ready to rejoin the action!**

**Disclaimer: Clearly, I don't own any of these characters. I'd be lucky to get a donut at this point.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Suspicious Minds**

Following their interview that afternoon, Scotty and Lilly slid into the car, and he started the engine and peeled away from the curb with a screech of tires.

"You always drive like a maniac," Lilly observed, with a teasing smile.

Scotty grinned and shrugged. "I just like the rush, I guess."

"Oh, ha ha," Lilly replied.

"What?" Scotty asked, his brow creasing in confusion.

"Nice pun, Valens," Lilly answered, with a roll of her eyes.

_Pun? What pun?_ Scotty looked at her blankly.

"You like the rush," Lilly repeated pointedly, arching a brow at him.

"Oh." It dawned on Scotty, and he glanced at her wickedly. "Well, I _do_ like the rush. And…" he wiggled his brows suggestively. "I really like the other rush. That rush I get when I look at…Lilly Rush…makes me wanna rush home and…just enjoy that rush...Rush," he finished.

"Stop it," Lilly managed between giggles, swatting his arm playfully. "You are so _annoying."_

"Aw, you're just mad 'cause there ain't any Valens puns out there," he retorted with a grin.

Lilly looked like she was about to say something, but was interrupted by the jangle of her cell phone. She answered it, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice.

"Whaddaya got, Boss?" she asked. Scotty glanced at her as she had a short conversation with Stillman, and was alarmed to see the color draining from her face as she listened and gave short, one-word responses. Finally, she flipped her phone closed and glanced thoughtfully out the window.

"Everything okay, Lil?" he asked, the concern evident in his voice.

"Fine," Lilly replied, her voice clipped and icy. "Boss wants us to head back to that office and talk to Tim's girlfriend, Carol."

"Why? He think she knows somethin'?" Scotty asked, realizing, with chagrin, that his best course of action was to try to get her to talk about the case. He knew there was something else, something bigger than the case that had suddenly surfaced to bother her, but he knew Lilly Rush well enough to know that getting her to actually tell him what that something was would be like pulling teeth. He was suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to kick the ever-loving crap out of whatever the hell it was that had just robbed Lil of her joy.

"Yeah," she replied tersely, not meeting his eyes.

"Okay…" Scotty responded, hoping she'd continue, but a frustrated sigh was the only answer he got.

"So…you wanna tell me what that somethin' is, or are we just gonna play Twenty Questions all day?"he asked, irritation and impatience creeping into his voice. How the hell could he kick the crap out of whatever was bothering her if she didn't tell him what it was?

Lilly glanced in his direction with another sigh, this one sounding more defeated than frustrated. "Boss wants us to go talk to Carol…because Tim was cheating on her with Ann."

"You're sayin'…Tim and Ann were…sleepin' together?" Scotty asked with a slight frown.

Lilly nodded. "Apparently…they were just really good friends, until they went on a business trip together, had a little too much to drink, hooked up, and then kept seeing each other secretly after they got back to Philly," she replied, arching a brow in Scotty's direction. "Sound familiar?" she asked icily.

"Yeah…a little," Scotty replied finally, grinning slightly.

Lilly shot him a panicked glare. "This isn't funny, Valens," she insisted, her voice edged with fear.

"What…you think that just 'cause the case is like us, they'll figure it out?" he asked.

"Well, they _are _detectives, Scotty," Lilly reminded him.

"Yeah, but they're crap when it comes to the real-life, personal stuff," Scotty argued. "And besides…we've been careful. We even got ourselves some alibis! I've got my hot blonde girlfriend, and you've got your sultry Latin lover," he concluded with a smug grin.

"And you don't think that's even the _slightest_ bit obvious?" Lilly asked him in astonishment.

"Not really, no," he answered. "There's prob'ly half a million blondes in Philly…and my family alone is responsible for, like, a hundred Latinos around here."

"A hundred?" Lilly asked in a scared whisper.

He stole a glance at her. "Lil, I got thirty-six first cousins. Just…first cousins. That ain't includin' all the aunts and uncles and…" he trailed off, as he noticed Lilly's eyes widening in panic. _Oh, great job, Valens. She's already flippin' out about one thing, and you go and freak her out about somethin' else. Nice work, really. Kudos. _

Scotty sighed in frustration and steered the conversation back to the original topic. "Look, my point is…that…what we're doin' is so off the wall, so…not _us_…that they'll never guess. I'll bet nobody in that squad room would ever, in a million years, have thought we'd get together. "

Lilly nodded slowly and murmured in agreement. That would probably be the last thing her colleagues would suspect.

"Hell, I never woulda thought it," he admitted with a shrug.

Lilly smiled in agreement. "Me neither," she replied quietly.

" 'Sides…at the risk of scarin' you," Scotty began uncertainly. "We _are _partners, y'know…so…technically, we ain't even supposed to be doin' this."

Lilly sighed and nodded. That damn elephant in the room kept rearing its ugly head, no matter how hard she tried to cover it up.

"And I don't think that any of 'em thinks we've got it in us to break the rules like that," he continued. Lilly arched a skeptical brow at him.

"Well…maybe me," he conceded with a shrug and a lopsided grin. "I ain't exactly tops in the self-control department." Despite her fear, Lilly chuckled.

Encouraged by her laughter, Scotty continued. "But you? They'd never, ever think you'd do somethin' like this. You're the Ice Queen of Homicide. You're the last person who'd…fall for her partner," he finished, then reached over and squeezed her hand. "Don't worry, Lil. They're gonna be so wrapped up in the case that they ain't gonna see a damn thing."

Lilly sighed and smiled at him bravely as they pulled up outside Tim and Ann's office and Scotty parked the car. "You're right," she agreed. "We're not even gonna cross their minds."

Scotty glanced over at her, his eyes starting to smolder. "And you know what else?" he asked.

Lilly glanced at him and felt a jolt of electricity shoot through her body at the heat in his gaze.

"All this secrecy…all the danger…" he began, his voice suddenly soft and husky with desire.

"Yeah?" Lilly asked, as she felt her blood warming.

"It's…kind of a turn-on," he admitted with a shrug and a slight smile.

Lilly giggled. "Oh…so you like the rush, huh?"

Scotty grinned at her as he unbuckled his seat belt. "Yeah. I like the rrrrrrrrrush," he finished, trilling the r's of the word and thoroughly enjoying the twin sparks of irritation and desire that flared in Lilly's sapphire eyes as she shot him a brief glare.

* * *

At work the next morning, Lilly poured herself a cup of coffee and sipped it gratefully. Her usual cup of instant before leaving her apartment hadn't quite done the trick, as Scotty had kept her up rather late. Again. A slight smile played on her lips as she began to reminisce…those glittering eyes...those strong, talented hands…the way he'd blazed smoldering kisses over every inch of her body, the look on his face as he--

"Mornin', Lil," Miller greeted her cheerfully, causing Lilly to jump slightly and shattering her bubble of lusty nostalgia.

"Morning," Lilly replied as casually as she could, as she took another hasty sip of coffee and avoided Miller's eyes.

Kat glanced at Lilly with a knowing smile. "Daydreamin' about Casanova again, huh?" she asked, then suddenly had to suppress her gag reflex as she remembered who, exactly, Lilly must have been daydreaming about. Quickly, she crossed the kitchen and headed for the donuts.

Lilly shrugged and gave a noncommittal response, still avoiding Kat's penetrating gaze. It seemed like Miller was about to say something else; the unspoken words just hung in the air, like an empty cartoon speech balloon, but when she heard Miller swear under her breath, the balloon burst, and Lilly finally dared to glance in her colleague's direction.

Kat sighed in frustration. The donut box was empty. Again. She didn't even need to wonder who, just _when_. She just sighed and rolled her eyes as she glanced over at Lilly. "Fatass took the last donut again," she explained.

"I kinda figured," Lilly replied with a smile.

"Oh, well," Miller shrugged. A secretive smile played across her lips as she glanced up at Lilly, suddenly pacified by the knowledge that soon…maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon… a dozen of Philly's finest donuts would be waiting for her on her desk. At Lilly's quizzical glance, she quickly changed the subject.

"So…you're comin' to First Thursdays tonight, right?" Miller asked Lilly nonchalantly as she headed for the coffee maker. "'Cause you skipped out last time, and I hate bein' the only girl there. You skip again, I'll hunt you down." She shot Lilly a meaningful, no-nonsense glare, then turned back to fill her coffee mug.

Lilly froze, and her eyes widened in shock. _Crap._ First Thursdays. She'd forgotten all about First Thursdays. How the hell were she and Scotty supposed to act, being around their co-workers, together, with the addition of booze?

"Oh, don't tell me Casanova took you for such a ride last night that you forgot about First Thursdays," Miller said with a grin. "Because if he did, a girl might want some details."

Miller glanced at Lilly and watched her carefully. This was a gamble, Kat had to admit, but if she was a betting woman, and she was, she'd bet that Lilly's usual reticence would apply and she wouldn't cough up the details. A good thing, really, since…there were just some things about her co-workers that Kat Miller really, _really _didn't want to know. A nameless, faceless Casanova? Fire away. But Scotty Valens? Oh, _hell _no.

Lilly blushed faintly and tossed Miller a slight smile. "No…I didn't forget…I'll…I'll be there," she said hastily. Better to show up and risk causing suspicion than to skip it and remove all doubt.

Miller looked at Lilly slyly. "You gonna bring Casanova with you? 'Cause I'd sure like to meet him…"

Bring Casanova? _Crap! _"Oh, he can't make it tonight," Lilly said quickly.

"Hmmm…" Miller mused, peering at Lilly over the rim of her coffee mug as she took a sip. "Sounds like somebody ain't in the mood for sharin'."

"He just…doesn't like cops," Lilly replied lamely.

Miller chuckled. "That so? Well…he sure seems to like you okay," she replied, raking her eyes over Lilly's sparkling eyes and flushed skin, then, with a satisfied smile, took her fresh mug of coffee back out into the squad room.

* * *

"So…you gonna make it to First Thursdays tonight?" Vera asked Scotty, as the two walked down the street on their way back from an interview.

"Man, is that tonight?" Scotty asked in amazement. How had a whole month passed already? A whole month…he and Lilly had been together for a whole month. A surge of joy filled his heart, and he couldn't help but smile.

Vera stole a glance at Scotty and noticed the shit-eating grin stealing across his face. "Well, now I _know _this chick's screwin' your brains out," Vera replied with a smirk. "Never thought I'd live to see the day that Scotty Valens forgot about First Thursdays entirely."

Scotty managed to wipe the smile from his face as he sipped his coffee. "Yeah, well…I got better things to do," he muttered.

Vera chortled. "Better _people, _you mean."

"Mmm," Scotty replied, shrugging noncommittally.

"Hey, your ass better be there tonight," Vera insisted. "We gotta have a sports trivia rematch. I ain't got a clue how you did it last time, but you slaughtered me. That never happens. I always kick your scrawny ass. What the hell got into you?"

"Just…had some time on my hands," Scotty replied nonchalantly.

"Sure, you did…" Vera muttered, the wheels beginning to turn.

The sports trivia game last month…_dammit._ That had been during the time that Scotty and Lil had been in the middle of whatever the hell drama it was that made them fight for a whole week. That was the week when Scotty had pouted even more than usual…the week when Lil had cut out early every night…the week the two of them couldn't be in the same room without glaring and sniping at each other. At the time, he thought maybe they were just arguing, like they had back when Scotty was banging Chris, but…he suddenly realized that there might have been more to it than that. Even back in the Chris days, they'd never out-and-out argued, at least, not in front of him. They'd always been cordial to one another. Frosty, but cordial. But after Nashville…it had been a different story.

Vera sighed. Much to his chagrin, he was suddenly forced to admit that Miller's wacko theory about the two hooking up in Tennessee had gained a disturbing, and infuriating, bit of credibility.

"Well, I know I'm kickin' your ass tonight," Vera continued, suddenly aware that Scotty was eyeing him curiously. "'Cause it sounds like you ain't had much study time lately." He stole a glance at his colleague. "You up for givin' up a night of hot sex to grace us with your presence?"

Scotty chuckled. "Well, I think I can make some time," he replied.

"You're bringin' this chick, right?" Vera asked with a sly grin. "I wanna see if she's as hot as she sounds."

Scotty sobered suddenly. "I…kinda think she has to work," he supplied uncomfortably.

"She's got a job?" Vera asked in surprise, glancing over at Scotty. "Doin' what besides you?"

"She's a…a cocktail waitress," Scotty blurted the first occupation he could think of, then mentally kicked himself. _Dammit, Valens. Vera's sure as hell gonna remember the last cocktail waitress you dated. _He shrugged, avoided Vera's eyes, and took another sip of coffee.

Vera glanced at Scotty in surprise and realized, with a sinking heart, that he'd just lost the bet with Miller. _A cocktail waitress? That _was the best story Valens could come up with? _Really?_ Goddammit. Scotty Valens always was a miserable liar, and he always thought he was good at it. This latest half-assed lie cemented it, and Vera reeled off a string of silent expletives at the thought of having to buy a dozen donuts for Kat Friggin' Miller.

Oh, well. He could be mad about that later. But now…now it was time to have some fun with Scotty. The opportunity was just too good to pass up.

"Cocktail waitress, huh?" Vera asked with a sly grin.

Scotty grinned sheepishly.

"Nice," Vera replied by way of congratulations. He glanced mischievously in Scotty's direction.

"So…kinda like Christina, huh?" he asked, his grin widening.

Scotty nearly choked on his coffee and glared in Vera's direction. "No, man," he sputtered by way of protest. "She's…she ain't nothin' like Christina."

Vera chuckled. "Yeah, right," he muttered, as he sipped his coffee.

* * *

Upon their return, Vera trudged into the squad room, finding it mostly deserted except for Miller, who was sitting at her desk dashing through some paperwork. Of _course _she's here, Vera griped inwardly. _Ain't enough for her to be right, now I gotta watch her gloat, too. Goddammit._

Miller glanced up when she saw him enter, and her eyes lit with satisfied glee at the disgruntled expression on his face. That could only mean one thing. Proud amusement bubbled forth in a slight chuckle.

"Well, well...looks like _someone's _seen the light," she commented cheerfully, her dark eyes twinkling with merriment.

"Oh, bite me," Vera grumbled under his breath, glowering at Miller.

Miller's heart soared with triumph as she looked up at Vera, thoroughly enjoying his discomfort with having to admit she was right about something.

"Now, you gotta tell me, Nick…what gave it away?" she asked playfully.

Vera rolled his eyes. "Valens claims he's seeing a cocktail waitress," he admitted reluctantly.

"A cocktail waitress?" Miller asked, arching a brow skeptically. "Didn't he already do--?"

"Yes," Vera interrupted gruffly. "He did. Rush's sister."

"And that's the _best_ he could come up with? Oh, my God. He _sucks _at this," she giggled gleefully.

Vera shrugged in commiseration. "Scotty always was a pathetic-ass liar, but…I'd have thought for sure he'd be able to come up with a better story than that."

"You'd think," Miller replied. "But he didn't, and that means…you owe me donuts," she announced smugly.

"Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in," Vera griped with a roll of his eyes.

Miller had in no way exhausted all the gloating she intended to do, but, in a rare display of Vera-related compassion, decided to let him off easy...for the time being.

Glancing up at Vera slyly, she changed the subject. "So…what do you think's gonna happen at Jones' tonight?"

Vera shrugged. "I don't think Valens has a clue that we know," he supplied, "so pretty much anything could happen."

Miller nodded in agreement. "Oh, Lil doesn't know, either. I talked to her this morning, told her to bring Casanova, and she said he doesn't like cops."

Vera chortled. "Doesn't like cops? That's an even worse lie than Scotty's cocktail waitress story," he said with a grin. He sighed and shook his head. "I expected better from Lil, I really did."

"They are _so _sleeping together," Miller commented as she scrawled her signature on the bottom of a page and closed the folder with a satisfied sigh.

"Dammit…you gotta rub that in?" Vera demanded.

"Oh, hell yeah," Miller replied triumphantly, chortling again at Vera's annoyed grunt.

An idea occurred to her. "So…do you think they're just sleeping together? Or do you think there's more?" Miller asked, glancing up at Vera once more.

"Oh, strictly sex," Vera answered firmly. "That's all it is."

"Now, how the hell do you know that?" Miller asked, arching a brow. She sensed another wager coming on.

Sure enough, Vera removed a ten-dollar bill from his wallet and slapped it onto Miller's desk. "Valens? And Lil? In a _relationship?_ Gimme a break. Those two suck at relationships. The longest Lil's seen somebody is a couple months, and Valens ain't even dated that much since the shit storm that was Christina Rush."

Miller rolled her eyes. _Men….damn fool Neanderthals only think about one thing._

"Oh, they are _so _not just sleeping together," she disagreed. "The flowers, that date?"

"That wasn't a real date," Vera argued. "A real date is goin' out to dinner and a movie, not…not what _they_ were doin'," he finished lamely.

Miller arched a brow. "Dinner and a movie, huh? How very civilized of you," she remarked.

Vera smiled triumphantly. "Oh, don't get me wrong, what they're doin' is way more fun…but it ain't a relationship."

Miller rolled her eyes. "So you don't think they're doin' the dinner and movie thing?" she asked.

"No fuckin' way," Vera said, shaking his head emphatically. "The way Valens has been actin', I don't think he's been doin' _anything _except…Rush," he finished lamely. He reluctantly met Miller's eyes, knowing in an instant that the look of disgust he saw on her face was reflected on his own.

Shaking her head to clear the revolting images that were suddenly surfacing, Miller dug in her bag and pulled out a ten. "Well, my money's on dating," she said, slapping the bill on her desk.

Jeffries strolled by just then, and without even glancing in their direction, dropped a twenty on the pile. "Oh, it's more than dating…it's love," he said smoothly as he sipped his coffee.

"Love?" Vera and Miller repeated in unison, disbelief permeating the short syllable.

"No way in hell," Vera said firmly, fishing another ten out of his wallet and flinging it on Miller's desk. "I don't think either one of those two would know love if it bit 'em in the ass!"

"They haven't been together long enough for it to be love," Miller protested as she added another ten to the pile, then swept the cash into her desk drawer and pulled out a sheet of paper to write down the bets.

"Time has no meaning when the heart's involved," Jeffries replied, leaning against his desk with a confident smile. "Just wait...you'll see."

* * *

Lilly pressed the button on the elevator and reached into her coat pocket for her notepad to review what she'd learned from her second chat with Tim's girlfriend. The doors started to shut, but then opened again as Scotty's arm impeded their progress.

"Hey," she greeted him in surprise. She hadn't seen him all afternoon.

"We gotta talk, Lil," Scotty said urgently as the doors slid shut. "It's First Thursdays tonight. I'd completely forgotten."

"I know, me too," Lilly groaned, leaning against the elevator wall. "Kat reminded me this morning. And she wants me to bring Casanova."

She cast a helpless glance at Scotty, who smiled wickedly. "What the hell are we gonna do?"

"Well, what'd you tell her?" he asked.

Lilly grinned mischievously and elbowed Scotty slightly. "Told her he doesn't like cops."

Scotty chuckled. "Yeah, well…Vera wants me to bring the blonde tonight," he added.

"What'd you say to that?" Lilly asked.

Scotty paused, and a chill raced through Lilly's veins.

"Scotty?" she asked as she glanced at him, trying desperately to read his expression.

"I…it was the only thing I could think of to say…" Scotty began tentatively, suddenly not at all sure how Lilly would react to this.

"What?" Lilly demanded, panic evident in her eyes.

"Told him she had to work," Scotty explained slowly.

"Yeah? What did Vera have to say to that?" Lilly demanded.

"Wanted to know what she does," Scotty replied. "I told him…" he paused uncertainly.

Lilly reached out and pressed the stop button on the elevator, and it ground to a shuddering halt. Whirling to face Scotty, she fixed him with an icy glare. "What did you tell him, Valens?" she pressed, in her interrogating-a-witness tone.

"Told him she's a… a cocktail waitress," he answered, with an innocent, hopeful smile.

Lilly paused for a moment. "A cocktail waitress?" she repeated.

"He put me on the spot…It was the only thing I could think of!" Scotty protested.

Lilly considered him silently for another few seconds, then suddenly burst out laughing. "A cocktail waitress? That's perfect!"

Scotty smiled with relief. "I was tryin' to think of the furthest thing from…you…that I possibly could…and, for…whatever reason…found myself picturin' a cocktail waitress."

Lilly grinned and pressed the button on the elevator again, sighing as it started to move. "Well, at least they don't suspect anything."

"Now all we gotta do is go to First Thursdays and act like nothin's goin' on," Scotty replied, wiggling his brows suggestively.

"I can behave," Lilly smiled in reply. "Can you?"

Scotty grinned wickedly, then pounced, pressing her up against the back wall of the elevator and consuming her lips in a desirous kiss. When she moaned in pleasure and started to melt into his arms, he released her, then said, "Oh…I can behave. The question is…can you?"

Lilly shot him a sultry glance as the doors opened and she stepped out of the elevator, tucking a stray blonde tendril behind her ear. "Guess we'll find out," she purred seductively.

* * *

**A/N: Oh, First Thursdays is going to be fun.**


	29. Act Naturally

**A/N: The long-awaited First Thursdays chapter. Hope it lives up to the expectations I have for it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I sure would like to go out drinking with them.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Act Naturally**

Lilly took a deep breath as she walked through the doors of Jones' Tavern, feeling not unlike she did before she headed into the interview room with a suspect. Energized, confident, but not overly so, and just a few butterflies in her stomach. _Showtime._

Entering the bar, she paused for a second and glanced around, taking in the scene. The place was hopping that night; it seemed most of Homicide had turned out. She spied Stillman sitting at the bar, chatting with his old partner, a guy who'd retired some nine years ago, but never, ever missed First Thursdays.

Continuing her survey of the room, Lilly spotted a center table containing the rest of her co-workers. They'd all crowded into a booth, which seemed to be a little bit small for the five of them, and she realized, with horror, that the only available seat was right next to Scotty. She'd be smashed up against him the entire evening, separated from his burning skin only by his clothes; close enough to smell that delicious spicy aftershave he always wore...

Typical of First Thursdays, Scotty still had on his work clothes, but he'd loosened his tie and undone the top couple buttons of his collar, and he'd also rolled up his sleeves, revealing just enough of his muscled forearms to make her heart beat a little faster. Watching him sitting there, Lilly couldn't help but remember the last time they'd gone out together immediately after work…back in Nashville. Unbidden memories surfaced of how she'd been sitting there at the bar, minding her own business, and suddenly her partner had sauntered up to her, they'd bantered for a while…and then, in a single moment, everything had changed.

With a fond smile, she turned her attention back to the present. Scotty sat casually in the booth, leaning his elbows against the table, casually sipping a scotch and smoking a cigar. Suddenly, Vera made some comment Lilly couldn't quite catch, but it must have been humorous, because Scotty burst out laughing, the joy radiating from his face, and despite her discomfort, warmth flooded her heart as she watched him. She loved seeing him happy, loved watching him laugh, loved the way his cheeks flushed slightly and his dark eyes sparkled with merriment. Vera's echoing chuckle was cut short by a sharp jab from Miller's elbow, though Lilly noticed Kat couldn't quite hide her laughter, either.

_Well, here goes. _Taking another deep breath, Lilly headed toward the table.

"Well, look who finally decided to show up," Vera commented as he noticed her, and Miller and Jeffries greeted her warmly. Scotty glanced up just in time to see Lilly slip out of her coat and smile her hello, and he instantly felt his mouth go dry and his heart start to thump wildly. God, would there ever be a time when she didn't have this effect on him? He knew that only a few short weeks ago, she was…just Lil, just his partner, and seeing her in her usual work clothes didn't affect him in the slightest. But now…seeing the way those black trousers sat just low enough to accentuate the gentle sweep of her hips, the way her blue scoop-neck sweater fit her curves perfectly, the way her white collared shirt was open just enough to give him a glimpse of her smooth ivory skin…good God, just the merest sight of her was enough to tempt him to forget about keeping it a secret, spirit her away someplace, and just…_take_ her.

"Hey, Lil," he managed, congratulating himself for managing, somehow, to keep the arousal out of his voice. "Pull up a patch of booth." He patted the seat next to him, eyes sparkling with both desire and amusement.

"This the smallest booth you could find?" Lilly asked lightly, glancing down at the…well…patch of booth; that seemed to be the most accurate possible description.

"If home slice here would cut back on the donuts, we'd all have more room," Miller answered, shooting another glare at Vera. He looked like he was about to stick his tongue out at her, or some similarly mature response, Lilly noticed, but he just smiled slightly and took another sip of his beer.

"C'mon, I don't bite," Scotty continued, still smiling that shit-eating grin. _If he blows this, I will murder him. _Lilly disguised her inward fuming with a slight, cryptic smile, then lowered herself into the…patch of booth…next to Scotty.

As she sat down next to him and he felt her warm softness meet his skin, caught a whiff of that delicious flowery shampoo she always used, Scotty had to fight the urge to wrap his arm around her, pull her close, and gently caress her hair; it really would be more comfortable, and they'd both have more room, but he knew he couldn't. Instead, he took another swig of scotch and realized that it was going to be a very, very long evening.

"Seems like it's been a while since we were all together like this," Jeffries mused from the other side of Scotty, as he poured himself a refill from the pitcher of beer that adorned the center of the table, then poured Lilly a glass as well before setting the pitcher down with a thunk.

"It's been since…before Nashville," Miller said, realization dawning on her. "'Cause Lil missed the last one."

Lilly felt briefly alarmed. It was almost as though they'd…_planned_ this conversation.

"How was the last one?" she asked warily, trying to keep the discussion north of the Mason-Dixon line, where it belonged.

"Well, Valens kicked my ass at sports trivia," Vera offered, smirking slightly at Scotty. "'Course, now I know why."

"Yeah? Why's that?" Lilly asked, pouncing on the opportunity to turn the conversation away from the direction it was heading. She felt Scotty elbow her slightly, but didn't dare meet his eyes.

"That was before Blondie," Vera replied knowingly. "Oh, he'd met her all right, but he hadn't done anything about it yet."

Lilly's mind raced as she tried to remain a step ahead of her colleagues. It seemed that those idiots were determined to spend the evening grilling them about their sex lives, and if she protested too much, it would be a dead giveaway. Decision made, Lilly took a sip of beer and, to her surprise, felt a spark of mischief begin to bubble up within her. She turned toward Vera with a grin.

"How do you know that?" she asked, arching a brow at him.

Vera smirked again and glanced mischievously in Scotty's direction. "'Cause he was in that place where you've spotted some chick, but you've either done somethin' stupid and screwed it all up, or else you're too chickenshit to make a move." Chuckling slightly, he chugged some beer and fist-bumped Miller under the table.

"Well, you'd know all about that, Nick," Scotty muttered around his cigar, shooting Vera a fiery glare.

Lilly took another sip of beer and glanced at her partner. "So which was it, Valens?" she asked teasingly, mischief glinting in her eyes. "Stupid, or chicken?"

The other detectives choked back a snicker, and Miller and Jeffries exchanged an amused look. They sure as hell hadn't counted on Lilly aiding their efforts. This was getting interesting.

Scotty shot Lilly a brief warning glance. "Oh, I ain't chicken about nothin'," he replied darkly, tossing a little more scotch down his throat before letting his hand drop under the table and rest on Lilly's thigh.

Lilly didn't react outwardly, but inwardly, she felt a jolt of electricity shoot from her leg, where his hand rested, throughout her whole body. To her horror, he then began to gently caress her thigh, and her heart started to race. _So…he wants to play this game with me,_ she mused. _We'll see who comes out ahead._

Mercifully, Scotty removed his hand then, leaving the spot suddenly cold, and took another puff from his cigar.

"Well, guess you'd done somethin' stupid, then," Vera smirked as he sipped his beer. "Look, all I know is, you're a helluva easier to deal with when you're gettin' laid. Obnoxious as hell, but…easier."

"Thanks," Scotty replied drily, sipping his scotch, as Lilly tried unsuccessfully to stifle her giggles. To her chagrin, she realized that her slight laughter had attracted the penetrating gaze of Kat Miller, and before her colleague even said a word, Lilly realized, with a sinking feeling, where the conversation was headed.

"So'd you guys do anything fun while you were down in Nashville?" Miller asked, feigning innocence.

"Well, we did go out drinkin' with the locals," Lilly replied casually. "You should have seen this bar….there was barbecue, steel guitar, sawdust on the floor…the works."

"Don't forget the belt buckles as big as your head," Scotty added with a grin.

"Oh yeah? So's that where you met that mystery cowboy?" Miller asked, glancing teasingly at Lilly.

_Crap. _Lilly blushed. "Something like that, yeah," she managed weakly.

Jeffries piped up then. "Hey, Scotty, did you see anything happen?" he smiled.

Scotty chuckled. "Nah, not really," he replied smoothly, taking another sip of scotch, grateful for the opportunity to exact a modicum of revenge on his girlfriend for the crap she'd given him earlier. "One minute, she's line dancin' with Big Daddy, and the next minute, I got no idea where she is. They musta left pretty quick," he finished with a smirk.

"Big Daddy?" Jeffries repeated, sipping his beer.

"Nashville's Chief of Police," Scotty supplied. "Looked like he and Lil were havin' a pretty good time out there on the dance floor," he added with a teasing glance, ignoring the glare Lilly shot him. "Rush can line-dance with the best of 'em."

"Is that so?" Miller asked, shooting Lilly a wicked grin. "So…is there a reason they call him _Big_…Daddy, Lil?" she asked, as Vera and Jeffries dissolved into laughter and Scotty nearly choked on his drink.

Lilly shot daggers at her colleague and fought the blush she knew was staining her cheeks. "It wasn't…Big Daddy," she protested. "It was someone…younger. Much better-looking. And that's all you're getting out of me," she finished smoothly, as she rose from her seat, suddenly in need of a drink much stronger than beer. "I'm headin' to the bar. Anybody need anything while I'm up?"

"Nah, I'm good," Scotty replied, and the others shook their heads.

As soon as Lilly was gone, Miller leaned toward Scotty conspiratorially. "So…did Lil say anything to you about this cowboy?"

"Nah," Scotty replied nonchalantly. "I figure I'm 'bout the last person she'd talk to about somethin' like that."

"Well, she sure ain't talkin' to us," Miller retorted, staring him down. "Besides…you were there. We weren't."

Irritation began to surge through Scotty's veins, and he wanted to lay into his colleagues, to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell off, to leave him and Lil alone, and to get their goddamn noses out of other people's business, but he knew if he did that, there's no way in hell they wouldn't figure it out, so he settled for gulping the rest of his scotch, relishing the way it burned his throat on the way down.

"Time for a refill," he replied casually, rising from his seat and sidling up the bar.

"Uh-huh," Miller said knowingly as Scotty left. As soon as he was out of earshot, she turned to Vera with a triumphant smile. "Less than ten minutes, and they're at the bar together. Five bucks," she proclaimed.

Jeffries snickered as Vera grumbled under his breath, fished out a crumpled bill, and slapped it on the table in front of her. With a teasing, satisfied smile, she inched it away from Vera with her fingers and pocketed the cash.

* * *

Scotty sidled up to Lilly at the bar, carefully keeping a professional distance between them, and sighed with relief as he met her eyes. "Now I know what we do to people every day," he commented with a grin.

Lilly giggled. "I wouldn't worry about it, Scotty. They're so obsessed with who I slept with in Nashville that they don't even care about who I'm sleeping with now."

Scotty ordered another drink, then glanced at Lilly and smiled mischievously. "Glad you think I'm better lookin' than Big Daddy," he remarked.

Lilly shrugged and looked up at him teasingly. "Well, it _was _a tough call…"

"Oh, thanks for that," Scotty replied, and took a grateful swig of scotch from his fresh glass. He then summoned the bartender and asked for a couple of sports trivia boxes.

"Good thinkin', Valens," Lilly remarked enthusiastically, fighting the urge to throw her arms around him and kiss him soundly. "Distract Vera with sports trivia, and I'll get 'em to talk about the case. That should be good for a few minutes, and if all else fails, I can just get Kat to start telling stories. Once you get that girl on a story, you can just about write off the next fifteen minutes."

"Great minds think alike," Scotty replied, as he lifted his glass in a toast. Lilly responded, clinking her cocktail glass against his, and the two smiled and sipped their drinks.

* * *

Jeffries sipped his beer and glanced over at the bar, where he saw Lilly and Scotty standing. The love that shone from Scotty's face as he looked at Lilly was undeniable, at least to Jeffries. He couldn't help smiling as he turned back to his colleagues. "You know…maybe we should leave 'em alone," he suggested.

"What's the fun in that?" Miller demanded, sipping her beer. Vera echoed her sentiments.

"If they're just sleeping together, then they'll go their separate ways in a few weeks, they'll be at each other's throats for a while, and then it'll thaw and everything will get back to normal," Jeffries explained.

"And I win sixty bucks," Vera interjected proudly.

" But…if it's something else…if it's the real thing, then…I know I don't wanna be what screws 'em up. Look at 'em," he said, and the other detectives sneaked a glance toward the bar, where Scotty had apparently just said something funny, because Lilly had thrown her head back and was laughing, a brilliant smile engulfing her whole face. Scotty looked just as happy as he elbowed his partner slightly, causing her to laugh all the more.

"They look…happy," Miller realized softly.

"They ain't been that happy in a while," Vera added.

"Exactly. And…if there's anything for us to know...they'll tell us when they're ready," he finished, and glanced at his colleagues.

"But…this is a lot more fun," Vera protested, sounding not unlike a petulant child. He and Kat exchanged a glance, and Jeffries knew that further resistance was futile.

"It's juvenile," Jeffries argued softly, "but you all have fun with that." He eased himself out of the booth and headed for the end of the bar, where he pulled up a stool next to Stillman and was soon caught up in reminiscences of years gone by.

Scotty and Lilly returned then, bearing drink refills and two trivia game machines. Lilly slid into the booth first, situating herself directly across from Kat with a friendly smile.

"Oooh, score!" Vera said gleefully, as Scotty handed him the little blue electronic trivia box. He glanced up at Scotty mischievously. "Hope your barmaid's up for bangin' a loser tonight," he gloated, "'cause I'm gonna wipe the floor with your sorry ass."

"We'll see," Scotty shrugged, as he slid into the booth next to Lilly, who smiled inwardly. What Scotty wasn't counting on was how she was planning to get back at him for that stunt he'd pulled earlier, the one where he'd slipped his hand onto her thigh and begun to caress it in exactly the way he knew would drive her wild. Revenge was a dish best served cold, and she was pretty sure things had cooled enough to where she could have a great deal of fun. With a slight smile, Lilly realized that she was actually kind of grateful for the tiny booth. It let her rub right up against Scotty without anyone suspecting a thing.

Lilly launched them into a conversation about the case then, and her colleagues took the bait, as she'd known they would. Soon, they were swapping theories and telling stories about their interviews with various witnesses and co-workers, all discussion of Nashville brought to a merciful end. After a few minutes, the sports trivia game began, and Scotty and Vera were soon absorbed in good-natured sports-related ribbing. That was when Lilly made her move. She slipped out of her right shoe, slid her foot beneath the leg of his pants, and slowly, gently began to rub it up and down Scotty's shin. At first, she didn't know whether it was affecting him or not, since he didn't even look in her direction, and at but she noticed, as he glanced up at the screen for the next trivia question, that the muscle in his cheek had begun to twitch slightly.

Scotty, for his part, had been enjoying the last few minutes, working on his cigar, relaxing with the scotch, enjoying the camaraderie with his colleagues and having Lil by his side. He still ached to be able to put his arm around her, but he couldn't. Wouldn't. Lilly would kill him.

Which was why it shocked the hell out of him when he felt her stockinged foot graze his shin. It took everything in his power to not look over at her with the surprise he knew would register on his face. He pretended to be deeply absorbed in the trivia game, but just that slight touch from Lilly, right there at the table, with all their colleagues, their boss mere feet away, was driving him crazy, and caused all sports-related factoids to beat a hasty retreat from his mind. He didn't think she knew how sensitive his shin was…but she did now. He clenched his jaw and tried to calm his racing heart, tried to stem the flood of lust that coursed through his veins, all while still trying to pretend that he was devoting his full mental capacity to remembering which college football team had that 47-game winning streak back in the 1950s.

"Oklahoma, baby! I knew it!" Vera gloated, as he pumped his fist and congratulated himself. "You didn't know that, Scotty?" he asked with glee.

Scotty smiled ruefully. "Guess I ain't old enough to remember back that far," he said pointedly, then sipped his scotch. Vera snickered again and glanced up at the screen for the next question.

Miller rolled her eyes. _Neanderthals, _she thought, as she sipped her beer. She'd been having far more fun before Jeffries had guilted her into silence. And, reluctant though she was to admit it, she was being forced to reconsider her "they're just dating" theory. That look they'd exchanged at the bar…that had given her serious pause.

Upon realizing that she seemed to have erased college football in its entirety from Scotty's memory, Lilly smiled slightly and withdrew her foot, relishing the fact that he couldn't hide the slight flush that had crept into his cheeks. Taking a satisfied swallow of her beer, she turned toward Miller and soon launched into a conversation with her. Lilly didn't get much chance for…girl talk…and was pleasantly surprised to find that she was enjoying herself.

So wrapped up was she in the conversation that she was just as shocked as Scotty had been earlier when she felt his hand graze her thigh again, higher this time. To the casual observer, it looked as though Scotty was just resting his hand on his lap, but the tips of his strong fingers gently traced circles on her outer thigh, right where it rested against his. She suddenly found simple tasks like breathing nearly impossible, and it took every acting skill she possessed to remain outwardly calm, even while desire was rushing through her like an inferno.

He seemed to know just when to stop, and Lilly knew the first round had been a draw. After a few minutes, though, her competitiveness rose to the surface again and she decided to kick it up a notch. The coast seemed clear, as Vera was gleefully annihilating Scotty in the trivia game, chortling something about some baseball team winning their first World Series in eighty-six years, and Miller had started regaling her with a hilarious story about some annoying former colleague of hers from Narcotics.

"Damn fool went undercover dressed like Joey Tribbiani tryin' to pass for nineteen," Miller was saying, and Lilly nodded attentively while fishing the maraschino cherry out of her drink. Casually, she sucked off the clinging droplets of alcohol on the cherry, then popped it into her mouth, savoring its sweetness while she detached the stem with a snap as Miller continued to rant about her former colleague in amusing fashion..something about bribing co-workers with barbeque.

Not daring to meet Scotty's eyes, Lilly slipped the cherry stem into her mouth, tied it in a knot with her tongue in record time, pulled it out, and let it rest in her glass, perched atop one of the rapidly melting ice cubes.

"Well, well," Miller began, noticing Lilly's skill with the cherry stem. "Casanova know you can do that?" she asked with a wicked grin.

Lilly just smiled. "Barbeque, huh?" she asked.

_Holy shit. _Scotty had to hand it to her. He'd never, ever seen anyone tie a cherry stem in a knot so fast before. He was trying desperately to remember who the MVP of Super Bowl XXXIX had been, but his brain was taken over completely by a flood of memories...memories of what else Lilly's tongue could do, and a sudden heat rushed through his veins. He met Lilly's glance briefly, catching only the slightest glint of a mischievous twinkle. Hastily, he avoided her eyes and took a healthy gulp of scotch. He turned his attention back to Vera, who was chortling with glee.

"Oh, now I _know _this chick's takin' over your brain," he crowed. "Super Bowl XXXIX? How the hell can you _not _know that? Deion Fucking Branch, Valens! You _watched _that game with me. The Eagles lost. To the goddamn New England Patriots! You threw shit at the TV, I lost fifty bucks! Man, you _suck _tonight," he continued gleefully.

"At least I'm gettin' laid," Scotty retorted with a grin. _Or would be, _he fumed silently, the electricity of desire still shooting sparks throughout his body, _if we didn't have to be here at First Fuckin' Thursdays tryin' to act like we ain't together. Whose brilliant idea was this, anyway?_

Vera snorted and turned his attention back to the screen.

Scotty tried once more to concentrate on the trivia game, biding his time, trying to calm down enough so that teasing Lilly wouldn't be his own undoing. It worked somewhat, as he was actually able to beat Vera on a couple of questions. When the game took a break between rounds, Scotty took a deep drag from his cigar and another decent-sized swig of scotch, then slowly slipped his left foot out of its shoe and traced circles around Lilly's ankle bone with his toe. It was a shot in the dark, as he had no idea whether her lower legs were as sensitive as his, but the way he felt her stiffen next to him, the way he saw her bite her lower lip as she tried to concentrate on her conversation with Miller, confirmed that they were.

Lilly was practically quivering with pent-up desire as Scotty's foot traced circles on her leg. She'd had no idea her ankles were that sensitive, and, despite her every effort not to, she wondered what his tongue could do with those ankles. She had a pretty good idea, and she felt a blush begin to creep up her neck. Fortunately, she didn't think anyone else noticed, as Vera had made some inappropriate comment and was smirking, as always, while Miller was shooting him a deadly glare. After a moment, though, she rolled her eyes and laughed, albeit reluctantly.

Miller and Vera stopped tormenting each other just then, and Scotty stopped tormenting Lilly as the trivia game started up again. That was when Lilly made her move. Pouring herself another beer, she slowly moved the beer glass to her left hand, leaving her right hand free to drop casually beneath the table and rest on the inside of Scotty's muscled thigh, where she slowly, yet deliberately, rubbed her hand back and forth. She felt him tense up the minute she laid her hand on his leg, and she smiled knowingly while taking another sip of her beer, then laughing at a story Miller was telling about Veronica's last ballet recital.

_Holy mother of God._ Scotty nearly choked on the swig of scotch he was taking as he felt Lilly's thin, delicate hand rest on his thigh. The desire built up within him at an alarming rate, and he knew she could feel his loins stirring to life from where her hand was. He anxiously glanced around at his colleagues, but Miller and Vera had begun insulting each other once more and were too caught up in their own peculiar brand of one-upmanship to notice him, and for that, he would be eternally grateful.

Scotty's heart slammed into the wall of his chest as Lilly continued her slow, gentle torture, and fire shot through his veins. The room was suddenly, suffocatingly warm…the combination of alcohol, Lilly, and the danger, the fact that they were mere inches away from their colleagues and feet away from their boss, teetering on the precipice of revealing a lethal secret, was causing the molten lava of desire to engulf his entire body. It was the same kind of rush he'd felt when he was undercover; it had intoxicated him then, and it intoxicated him now. Add to that the raging lust, and he was a dead man, he knew. Completely done for. Every cell Scotty possessed screamed at him to forget this nonsense, knock off the bullshit and just take Lilly back to the bathroom or something and have his way with her. He felt beads of sweat forming on his forehead, a trickle of it diving down his back, and he could no longer draw a full breath. He had to do something, or he was going to completely lose it.

Thinking quickly, Scotty tossed back the rest of his scotch, laughed at Vera's latest joke, and then pretended that his phone was ringing. He casually excused himself from the table, and Lilly breathed a sigh of relief. Her teasing of Scotty was having the exact same effect on her, and she could tell by watching him that she was teetering on the brink of disaster, but her raging hormones simply would not allow her to stop.

She was shocked, then, when Scotty returned to the table and grabbed his jacket from the back of the booth. "I gotta jet," he said lightly, fishing a twenty out of his pocket and handing it to Vera. "This should cover it."

"Where's the fire?" Vera asked, glancing up at Scotty.

Scotty grinned wickedly. "My apartment. The blonde just got off work."

Vera rolled his eyes. "Say no more," he said, taking a swig of beer. "We'll just keep Lil company."

Lilly shot Scotty an icy glare, but he just tossed her a lopsided grin, shrugged into his coat, and headed out of the bar with a bounce in his step. He hadn't been gone for two minutes before Lilly's phone vibrated, indicating she had a text message. Checking the caller ID, she realized, with a sly smile, that it was from Scotty.

"My place ASAP," it read.

Lilly couldn't help grinning wickedly as she flipped her phone closed and replaced it in her purse.

"You gotta run, too?" Miller asked slyly.

"Nah, I can stay for a little while," she said, trying to calm the fluttering of her heart. She must have really gotten to him.

It took every ounce of restraint she had to linger long enough to finish her beer, then finally, when she just couldn't wait any longer, she rose from the table. "Well, I'm off," she announced with a smile.

"Casanova must really be missin' you," Vera said with a smirk. Lilly just smiled cryptically and left the bar, calling her farewells to Stillman and Jeffries as she sauntered out.

After she left, Vera glanced at Miller with a shrug. "At least they were smart enough not to leave together, you gotta hand 'em that. And…" he continued with a grin. "…you gotta hand me back my five."

Miller sighed and rolled her eyes as she reluctantly handed the crumpled bill back to her smirking colleague. _Least I still got donuts comin', _she mused.

Jeffries sauntered over to the table then, brandy in hand, and regarded his colleagues with a knowing smile. "You all get your confession?" he asked smoothly.

Miller's eyes gleamed with merriment as she started to tell Jeffries what they'd learned, but her smile faded as realization dawned. "Son of a bitch," she exclaimed, smacking the table with her hand.

"What?" Vera grunted, around a mouthful of peanuts.

"We didn't get _any _dirt out of 'em," she said, glancing at Vera in wide-eyed surprise. "Those two idiots completely distracted us the whole damn night!"

Jeffries chuckled softly as Vera shrugged. "Priorities, Miller. Sports trivia is way more important than gossip."

"Not when it involves our friends _sleeping together,"_ she insisted with a glare. "You were completely useless tonight."

"Hey, I ain't the one who spent the whole night talkin' about that dumbass narcotics cop," Vera retorted.

Miller sighed in defeat with a rueful smile, realizing that they had both been had.

"You all are a bunch of amateurs," Jeffries commented, his eyes sparkling with sudden mischief.

"Amateurs?" Miller repeated incredulously, glaring at her colleague. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened in disbelief as she suddenly realized that she'd been had, _again._

"Just wanted to give you all a chance to have your fun," he grinned.

"You said this was juvenile!" Kat reminded him indignantly. "So...that whole guilt trip thing...that was a _trick?!"_

Jeffries eased himself into the booth and regarded Miller and Vera with kind amusement. "Gotcha," he said with a wink and a smile. "Now…let's plan Phase Two."


	30. Hello Walls

**A/N: This chapter has, to my surprise, afforded me an opportunity to put another one of my favorite humorous parts of the show into my story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I might like a marshmallow, though!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty: Hello Walls**

After another wonderful weekend, Lilly headed in to work on Monday morning with a bounce in her step and a smile on her face. Thursday night, after she finally reached Scotty's place, he'd barely even been able to say two words to her before stripping her naked and pressing her up against the back of the door. In a matter of moments, he had them both careening into orbit, finally, gloriously releasing the desperate need for each other that had been slowly building all night. They'd collapsed on Scotty's couch, gasping for breath and grinning almost stupidly at one another, buoyed by the fact that neither one of them had given away any vital information to their nosy co-workers. Despite their teasing, despite the interrogations they'd faced, neither one of them had cracked. They were wildly proud of themselves.

Thursday's ecstasy had carried over to another blissful weekend spent mostly in bed, alternating between Scotty's place and her own. They'd been so wrapped up in each other, in their little bubble of happiness, that Lilly had almost managed to completely forget about the case, about their meddlesome colleagues, about everything…everything except Scotty. It was heavenly, and for the first time Lilly could remember, she was sorely tempted to call in sick on Monday. That temptation only lasted for a moment, though, and she'd headed into the office bright and early, ready to dive back into the investigation.

As she sat down at her desk and reviewed Miller's notes from the interview with the bartender, however, all the fear Lilly had managed to suppress since Thursday pricked her heart and burst her happy balloon. This damn case…she couldn't deny that it was making her slightly uneasy, being so close to the truth with herself and Scotty, and the way her co-workers had interrogated them at First Thursdays about who she'd slept with in Nashville had been unnerving, to put it mildly. But, taking a logical look at the evidence, Lilly was relieved by the fact that they didn't seem to know that Scotty had slept with anyone in Nashville. That could only be a good sign, she figured.

Lilly sighed again as she turned a page of Miller's notes. Maybe the security video had been misleading. All it had shown was one kiss. One kiss didn't prove anything. Even the fact that Tim and Ann had left the bar together wasn't concrete evidence that anything further had happened. Maybe they were all were reading too much into it. And…if they weren't…maybe the other detectives would continue to remain blissfully ignorant about what was going on right under their noses. It was a gamble, Lilly realized. Her colleagues were talented, the best detectives in Homicide, and it was only a matter of time before they started figuring things out. Lilly dove into the interview notes with renewed zeal, suddenly desperate to get this case solved and shelved so they could move on to other things that didn't hit quite so close to home.

Vera came in just then, notes in hand, which he triumphantly slapped on Lilly's desk.

"What's this?" she asked as she reached for them.

"Confirmation," he replied, shrugging out of his overcoat and juggling the large paper bag he carried in his left hand.

"Confirmation of what?" Lilly asked, scanning the notes.

"Ann's best friend confirmed that she and Tim kept goin' at it pretty hot and heavy when they got back. But they were real hush-hush about it…kept it kinda on the down low, ya know," he answered.

_Crap. _Lilly's heart began to race as she read further. It was definitely not limited to just the one kiss, not if Ann's best friend was telling the truth.

"Well, obviously," she replied smoothly. "They were both seeing other people. Didn't want their affair to get out."

"Well, there was that," Vera agreed. "Plus…office romances? Usually a bad idea. They're what you call…ill-advised." He glanced up surreptitiously just in time to see a flicker of fear in Lilly's blue eyes.

Panic surged through her veins. Did…did Vera _know_? She couldn't very well _ask_ him about it, now, could she? Her mind whirled, frantically replaying scenes from the last few weeks, wondering if Vera had figured them out, and if so, when, and how. She glanced at him again, trying to read his expression, but it was futile. He had on that damn Nick Vera Poker Face, and she couldn't decipher a thing. Either he didn't know, or he did know, but wasn't letting on. They stared at each other for a brief moment, sizing each other up, and then Lilly looked away, spied a welcome distraction, and changed the subject.

"What's with the bag?" she asked, trying desperately to keep her unsettled emotions out of her voice.

"Oh, this?" he asked, as if he'd forgotten about it entirely.

Lilly craned her neck to read the logo on the bag, and she grinned slightly when she figured it out. "Donuts?" she asked, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Yeah," Vera grumbled with a slight shrug. "Figured I owed Miller some."

"You figured as much, or she threatened to kick your ass until you brought them?" Lilly retorted, with a knowing smile.

Vera just shrugged again and turned back to his desk.

Scotty arrived just then, greeted the detectives in the room, and settled into his chair with a brief smile in Lilly's direction. His brow creased slightly in confusion, though, and she knew at that moment that he'd picked up on her uneasiness. She could see the questions burning in his eyes, but she knew that he wouldn't address them now. Not here at work, with all the others standing around watching. Frankly, she was relieved. She just…couldn't deal with this yet. She tried to bury herself in the notes from Vera's interview, but, to her chagrin, her thoughts were far from the case. Instead, they were watching in horror as the dream world she'd been living in…the secret torrid affair with Scotty…was dissolving before her very eyes in the blistering glare of reality.

Whether he knew that his advice applied to her situation or not, Nick Vera was absolutely right. Office romances were definitely a bad idea. Unprofessional at best, unmitigated disaster at worst. Hadn't she learned that particular lesson with Kite? They hadn't even worked in the same office, and it had been awkward. And that hadn't put her job at risk. There weren't any rules saying cops couldn't date lawyers; she knew it happened all the time. But her partner? Yeah, there were definitely rules against that. Rules that could cost her career…or at least her spot in Homicide. But the hideous awkwardness, not to mention the pain she knew she'd be in if it failed…she sighed in frustration.

Scotty heard her sigh and glanced up. He met her eyes then, his brief glance betraying his concern, and she hastily shot him a smile, hoping to reassure him while trying to conceal her panic. She just needed some time to sort this out, to evaluate the stakes…to decide whether or not the risk to her career was worth this…relationship with Scotty. She was already on thin ice with Stillman after the stunt she'd pulled with Joseph, and she'd vowed then and there that she'd never be that girl who chucks it all for some guy. Her mother and Chris had both done that, and Lilly was bound and determined not to follow in their footsteps.

Scotty rose from his desk then, notes in hand, and poked his arms into his jacket as he smiled down at her. "I'm gonna go talk to Shawn King again; wanna come with?"

Lilly froze. Going with him meant being alone in the car with him, and she knew Scotty well enough to know that he wouldn't be content with just discussing the case. Not a chance in hell.

"Can't…" she said suddenly. "Boss says he needs me to talk to a couple of the women from the office." It was the first excuse she could think of, and she was desperate. She'd arrange interviews again if she had to, fill out paperwork, stay behind and work the phones…anything to avoid having to deal with the questions she knew Scotty was desperate to ask…not until she could figure out the answers for herself.

Scotty hesitated slightly and searched her eyes. It wasn't like Lilly to not want to come with him on an interview. But…if Boss needed her here, he needed her here.

"Okay," he said slowly, then shrugged his shoulders and turned to Vera. "Hey, Nicky; wanna head out?"

"Sure thing, Scotty," Vera said. He draped his jacket over his arm and started out, then hesitated briefly. "One second, pal," he said, turning back toward their cluster of desks. He glanced furtively from side to side, saw that Miller had yet to arrive, and grabbed a donut out of her box before replacing the lid.

"Gotcha," he chuckled to himself as he sank his teeth into the donut.

Lilly sighed with relief as they left. Time. That was all she needed. Time.

* * *

But time didn't help. If anything, it made her panic worse. And she didn't want to let Scotty in on it. She knew him well enough to know that he'd press her, he'd make her talk about what was bothering her, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. Especially with him. She didn't want to worry him if there was nothing for him to worry about, and she just...needed him to not ask her any difficult questions until she figured that out.

So she pretended. It was what she was best at, anyway, having had a lifetime of pretending that things were fine when they weren't. That evening after work, as she and Scotty headed to the train together, he paused briefly and looked deep into her eyes.

"You okay, Lil?" he asked, the concern in his gaze driving a dagger of guilt into her heart.

"Fine," she lied, with a convincing smile as she took his hands in hers. "Just tired," she added. Well, that much was true.

Scotty searched her eyes, trying to read her expression. He wasn't entirely convinced by Lil's claim to be fine, but he knew better than to push her. She'd talk if and when she was ready, and he needed to at least try and be okay with that.

"Okay," he finally answered.

Inspiration suddenly hit her as she came up with the perfect distraction, the antidote to her confusion and Scotty's increasing worry.

"But not _too_ tired," she purred seductively, glancing at him lasciviously and licking her lips.

In the weak light of the train station, she could see the fire of lust ignite in Scotty's eyes, and she smiled with anticipation and satisfaction. This would definitely buy her some time.

* * *

The sex that night had been amazing, as always. It had been exactly what she needed...the perfect distraction. Scotty had made her world spin, as he always did, and as he devoured her lips, as he expertly brought her, gasping and shrieking in delight, to the mountaintop, as he roared his own release, as they collapsed on each other in a breathless, sweaty heap, Lilly almost forgot her panic. Almost.

But as Scotty drifted off to a sated sleep, the fear returned, stealing into her heart and choking out the joy she'd just found. What the hell was she _doing_? She was in her partner's apartment, naked, in his bed, they were a couple, they were still keeping it a secret from everybody, and what the hell was going on?

She had to get out of there. Had to get back to her apartment to think things over. And so, after she was sure Scotty was asleep, she gathered up her things, threw on her clothes, crept out of his place, and hurried back to her own.

* * *

The next morning, Scotty awoke to the annoying buzz of his alarm clock. He'd been having a blissful dream, a dream whose details he couldn't quite remember, but he knew it involved him, Lilly and very little clothing. He awoke in a state of full arousal, and as he glanced at the clock, he realized that, if he woke her up right then, he and Lil would have some time to reenact a couple scenes from his dream before they had to get to work.

But he stopped short when he discovered that Lilly's side of the bed was empty. And, he realized as he stuck out a hand experimentally…it was cold. She hadn't occupied that half of the bed recently. How early had she gotten up? And where the hell was she, anyway?

"Lil?" he called softly, but he knew with a sinking heart that it would go unanswered. Her clothes were nowhere to be seen. He wasn't sure when, or why, but she'd split. Fear filled his heart. What the hell was going on with her?

Hastily, he reached for his cell phone and dialed her number, but wasn't surprised when she didn't pick up. It was still early, and she wasn't likely to be answering calls at that hour, anyway. He'd see her at work. And things would be fine.

They had to be. Scotty wouldn't allow himself to think otherwise. Couldn't allow himself to imagine the possibilities.

* * *

When he got to work, Lilly was still nowhere to be found. Her desk showed signs of recent occupancy; a blue coffee mug still half-full and ringed with a hint of lipstick sat at her desk, along with some hastily scribbled notes.

"Lil's already out on an interview, if you're wonderin'," Miller said casually as she came in from the kitchen with a fresh mug of coffee and a chocolate donut. "Musta gotten in real early."

"Okay," Scotty replied. "Thanks."

Something wasn't right. Something wasn't right at all. Panic started to course through his veins as he sat down at his desk and tried fruitlessly to concentrate on his paperwork.

Just then, he heard Jeffries chuckle as the older detective replaced the phone in its cradle and glanced at him with a bemused expression on his face.

"What?" Scotty asked suspiciously, glancing at Jeffries.

"Just got off the phone with your old friend at West, Scotty," Jeffries said, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Anna Mayes?" Scotty asked.

"The one and only," Jeffries continued. "Says a couple of patrol officers know the guy we're lookin' for. Even gave us the block he hustles."

Realization dawned on Scotty. "Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" he asked.

"No drugs today," Jeffries proclaimed triumphantly, as he rose and grabbed his jacket.

"No drugs today?" Miller echoed, arching a brow.

"It's when we sit on the corner and shut down the pharmacy," Vera explained with a grin.

Miller's mouth fell open in sudden realization. "That was you?" she asked in amazement. "The three amigos who set up camp on the corner for an entire night a few years ago?"

"In the flesh, Miller," Vera chortled.

Kat burst out laughing. "I heard so many stories about the three of you. I gotta say, that's pretty brilliant."

"Whoa, there, Miller…that sounded dangerously close to a compliment," Scotty remarked, with a teasing grin in her direction. She merely shrugged and smiled cryptically.

They were interrupted by soft, gravelly swearing as Vera dug around in his desk drawer, then an "Aha!" as he triumphantly pulled something out of his desk.

"Been savin' these for just such an occasion," he proclaimed with a grin.

"Whatcha got there, Nick?" Jeffries asked.

Vera didn't say anything, just held up a bag of marshmallows and some skewers with a self-satisfied smile. Scotty and Jeffries chuckled as they gathered their things and headed out. Scotty went on ahead of them to grab his gun from his locker, and Vera and Jeffries lingered in the squad room for a moment.

"Phase Two?" Miller asked, arching a brow at her colleagues.

"Oh, yeah. Phase Two," Jeffries said, with a conspiratorial wink.

* * *

The three detectives unfolded their lawn chairs and settled into them with amused glances, smiles, and cheerful banter, thoroughly enjoying the curious, and downright hostile, looks they got from the people on the streets. As cars drove past, serenading them with rhythmic thuds from various musical genres, thuds so loud the windows rattled, they flashed their badges and their winning smiles. Sometimes, the a car would slow down and pull up to the curb, and one of the detectives would get up and explain that the pharmacy was closed. Usually, this was met with a raised middle finger and a screeching of tires as the driver pulled away in a haste.

After a few hours, they got hungry, and drew straws to see who would leave their little campsite on the corner to go hunt up some lunch. Scotty drew the short one, so he strolled down the street, found a dingy little barbecue joint that looked promising, and returned with sandwiches, which he cheerfully distributed to Vera and Jeffries, then settled back into his lawn chair.

Scotty sighed with contentment as he ate his sandwich with one hand and flashed his badge with the other. It was chilly, but not downright freezing like it had been the first time he'd been out. It had been so damn cold out that night that they'd built a fire in a trash can like a bunch of homeless guys, and Scotty had complained bitterly about freezing his nuts off. Vera had complained instead about needing marshmallows, and Scotty chuckled again as he remembered the bag that was lurking in the trunk of the car, just waiting for nightfall and another trash can fire.

He smiled to himself as he ate a few fries. Despite the cold that night, despite the hostility, despite that fifty-something hooker who'd gotten in his face and attempted to stare him down…he'd had a great time.

Vera and Jeffries noticed the contented sigh escaping from their colleague's lips, and they exchanged a conspiratorial wink and nod, and then Vera, seated in the middle, turned to Scotty with a leer. "So…how's that barmaid of yours?" he asked.

Scotty glanced up suspiciously. He always hated discussing his personal life with Nick Vera, but particularly now. Lilly was entirely too special to be talking about with Vera, that's for damn sure.

"Fine," he replied tersely, glaring at Vera as he took another bite of his sandwich.

"So…what's she do that's so special?" Vera asked, grinning at Scotty.

"Don't get your meanin'," Scotty said, his tone low and full of warning.

"What's she do in bed that's got your head all screwy?" Vera elaborated. "She must be pretty good in the sack, that blonde barmaid. Sure she doesn't know Christina? Maybe the two of 'em get together…compare notes…"

"Can we drop it already?" Scotty demanded, glaring darkly at Vera.

"You never give us the details, man," Vera pressed, thoroughly enjoying the sparks he saw shooting from Scotty's eyes. He recognized that look, that look he got when he was questioning a suspect. That look that said the suspect was getting close to the end of his rope.

"And I ain't gonna give you details, either," Scotty snapped. "Sick freak," he muttered as he took another bite of his sandwich. "I don't gotta talk to you."

"Well, we can either talk about this," Jeffries began smoothly, "or I can have Nick do his Danny Zuko routine again."

"Hey," Vera barked in protest. "I brought the house down." He glared at Jeffries. Giving him crap about his starring role in "Grease" hadn't been part of the plan.

Jeffries chuckled. "That's what you wanna call it, okay," he said with a smile.

Vera took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts and getting into character.

Scotty looked over at Vera, realized that his colleague was actually about to burst into song, and finally sighed in defeat. "Fine," he replied. "I'll talk. But no details."

"Damn," Jeffries mused sarcastically. "I was hopin' to hear Nick sing again."

"Shut up," Vera shot at Jeffries, then took a bite of his lunch and turned his attention to Scotty.

"Let's leave the barmaid out of it for a minute," Vera began, around a mouthful of sandwich. "Why don't you tell us about Nashville?"

"What about Nashville?" Scotty asked uncomfortably.

"Got a witness that says Lil wasn't the only one who got some ass down south," Vera said gleefully, watching out of the corner of his eye as the color drained from Scotty's face. Boy, did he love making Detective Valens squirm.

"A witness?" Scotty repeated uncertainly, panic coursing through his veins. "What witness?"

"That's not important," Vera replied smoothly, fixing Scotty with the look he gave suspects in the interview room. God, this was fun. "So you can either tell us about the barmaid, or you can tell us about the chick in Nashville."

Scotty tossed a glance in Jeffries' direction, hoping for some help, but Jeffries was too busy scouting the corner and smiling cordially at the hookers and drug dealers who were starting to gather across the street and glare in their direction.

"There was no chick in Nashville," Scotty lied, the panic and rage beginning to boil within his chest.

"Not what I heard," Vera replied evenly as he crossed his arms across his chest and turned that famous interrogator's glare on Scotty. "I heard it was pretty hot and heavy down in Tennessee. Whatcha tryin' to do, a woman in every state? Who's Pennsylvania, Scotty? Who's that blonde that's been makin' your head spin?"

"Dammit, Nick, I said drop it!" Scotty exploded, his jaw clenching and his eyes shooting fire.

"Hey, guys…take it easy," Jeffries said smoothly, turning his attention back to his colleagues. Phase Two was working perfectly. Vera had gotten Scotty to the edge; that point where if he kept pressing, Scotty'd either crack, storm off, or turn violent. This was exactly where they wanted him, but now Vera needed to beat it.

"Why don't you go see if you can find us some more fries?" Jeffries suggested, looking pointedly at Vera. Realizing his part in the game was over, Vera sighed huffily and reluctantly trudged off.

Scotty exhaled, raked a hand through his hair, and tried to stuff his temper back down where it belonged. He was at the end of his rope: panicky, pissed off, and still worried about what the hell was going on with Lil. He pulled his cell phone out of its holder and checked his call log for the umpteenth time. She still hadn't called back. He replaced it with a defeated sigh and took another bite of his lunch.

"Don't let Vera get to you, man," Jeffries said calmly, still watching the gathering crowd across the street.

"He's…such a jackass," Scotty seethed around his mouthful of barbecue.

"He just cares about you," Jeffries said teasingly.

Scotty glanced over and smiled weakly. "I know. Just wish he'd lay off a little bit."

"So what about that, Scotty?" Jeffries asked softly. "This…barmaid…she just a move for you?"

Scotty shot a panicked glance at the other detective. "You gonna interrogate me now, too, Will?" he demanded, his voice reflecting his barely repressed anger.

"Nope," Jeffries said calmly. "Just makin' conversation. Wanna make sure you're not doin' anything…ill-advised," he said with a smile.

Scotty sighed. This much, at least, he could share with his colleague, and he suddenly, surprisingly, welcomed the opportunity to share. "Nah… she ain't just a move," he answered with certainty.

"No?" Jeffries replied with a glance and a raised eyebrow.

"No," Scotty confirmed, taking another sip of his Coke.

"Good," Jeffries said softly, as he bit into his sandwich once more.

Scotty took a shaky breath. "She's…we're…it's…" he began, suddenly unable to convey his true feelings. "She ain't just a move," he repeated softly. "I…I love her, man."

Jeffries beamed proudly. He couldn't help it. He'd been hoping some guy would come along who'd fall madly in love with Lilly. Girl deserved it. And…well…he and Scotty hadn't always seen eye to eye, but Valens was, deep down, a good guy. And, he realized as he continued musing, he was good for Lilly. They'd always seemed to have this connection between the two of them, a connection that went beyond what most partners had with one another. Jeffries had certainly never had it with anyone. Frankly, he'd never seen anything like it. He'd wondered idly if their partnership would ever go beyond the walls of the squad room, but those thoughts had been squelched as quickly as they came. But now…now that it was out in the open…Jeffries couldn't be more pleased.

He glanced slyly at Scotty and smiled slightly. "Does Lil know how you feel?" he asked lightly.

Scotty's eyes widened in surprise, and his mouth fell open in shock. "Lil ain't--she's--what are you even talkin' about?" he asked, trying to disguise his fear with a slight chuckle.

Jeffries just smiled at him. "Come on, man. The game is up. I know it's been Lil the whole time."

"How?" Scotty asked in disbelief.

"I've seen the way you look at her, Scotty. Love's hard to hide," Jeffries replied calmly, taking another sip of his drink.

Scotty's heart raced wildly as Jeffries' words echoed around in the chamber of his mind, and he leaned forward, placing his arms on his knees and dropping his head. _Shit. Will knows. What's Lil gonna do if she finds out he knows? What's gonna happen to us? _His mind and heart were a whirling dervish of thoughts and feelings: love, relief, fear, panic, dread, worry, and some rapidly surfacing anger as he realized he'd been thoroughly played like the suspect his colleagues had made him out to be.

He finally glanced up at Jeffries with a sheepish smile and a sigh of defeat. "No. Lil doesn't know how I feel."

"You haven't told her yet?" Jeffries asked in surprise.

"You know how Lil…gets…with relationships. I'm just tryin' not to scare her off…'cause if I screw this up and lose her…" he trailed off, unable to voice the possibility.

"Things not going well?" Jeffries asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No…I dunno…maybe…I think they're okay…I dunno," he finally finished, then sipped his Coke. He'd reached the bottom of it, and was rewarded for his efforts by the horrible squawking noise of straw meeting Coke remnants.

"You might wanna figure that out," Jeffries said smoothly, then polished off his sandwich.

"Do the others know?" Scotty asked suddenly, tossing a panicked glance in Jeffries' direction.

"They figured it out," he answered, and Scotty's heart pounded wildly as he realized the implications of this.

"Does…does _Boss_ know?" he asked in a panic.

"We sure as hell won't tell him. But you know you're gonna have to come clean eventually if this continues," Jeffries chided gently.

"I know," Scotty sighed. "And I'm okay with it, I think…but Lil…she's not ready yet. So…could you make sure nobody breathes a word of this to Lil?"

Jeffries considered Scotty for a moment. He was moved by the earnest pleading in his friend's eyes, and touched by his concern for Lilly.

"Consider it done," Jeffries replied, as Vera returned with the fries.

The conversation turned then, to matters of basketball, theories about the case, and other lighthearted banter, and Scotty sighed with relief. They weren't going to interrogate him about Lilly anymore, he sensed, because they'd gotten him to admit what they wanted to hear. Scotty wasn't at all sure that Vera and Miller could keep their mouths shut. He knew they'd give him crap about it, but he didn't care. As long as they left Lil and Boss out of it, he'd take whatever they cared to dish in his direction.

Boss. They were going to have to come clean eventually, Scotty realized. Jeffries was absolutely right. They would have to tell Boss.

If, in fact, there was anything to tell him. Scotty realized, as he checked his cell phone for the umpteenth time that hour, that he was no longer at all sure about that. What the hell was going on with Lil?

His panicked reverie was interrupted by a nudge from Vera's elbow. He nodded in the direction of a young man, lurking in the shadows of the alley, shifting his weight back and forth from one foot to the other and watching the detectives carefully. "Looks like somebody's up for a chat," he said.

"I'll go talk to him," Scotty replied, grateful for something to do, something else to think about, something to keep him from worrying about Lil. He got up and headed over, pen and notebook in hand.

Vera smiled at Jeffries. "You get it?"

Jeffries pulled back his coat to reveal the recorder he'd been wearing, and turned the tape off with a click. "Every last word," he said cheerfully, "and I'm just tryin' to figure out what I'm gonna do with my sixty bucks."

"Oh, bite me," Vera muttered, as he finished off his Coke.

* * *

Special thanks to **yankee1151** from Look Again for the "No Drugs Today" video clips!


	31. Complicated

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get posted. As the title indicates, it's been a complicated chapter to write.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own them here or there**

**I do not own them anywhere**

**They are not mine, I know full well**

**It's just a story I want to tell**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-One: Complicated**

Lilly tentatively walked into the squad room after returning from her interview. This case was a particularly complicated one, what with all the secrecy and the love polygons that Tim and Ann had managed to create thanks to their drunken night in Scranton. And the deeper Lilly got into the case, the more similarities she saw to her own situation, and the more desperate she was to solve it and move on. Even more driven with this case than she normally was, Lilly wanted nothing more than to get that confession, box the case up, and pretend it never happened.

"Hey, Lil," Miller greeted Lilly cheerfully as she sat down at her desk.

"Hey…where are the guys?" Lilly asked lightly, starting to fill out her interview report.

"Oh, they went out on No Drugs Today," Miller replied with a smile. "They'll be gone a while."

"No Drugs Today, huh?" Lilly asked, trying to keep the relief out of her voice.

"Yeah…Scotty's friend Anna from West gave us the name of a guy who hustles a block in the Badlands; mighta seen somethin'. He used to work in the warehouse with Ann's fiance," Miller explained.

"Did Vera remember the marshmallows this time?" Lilly asked, a sly smile creeping across her face as she remembered the stories the guys had regaled her with after their first outing.

Miller nodded and laughed. "Fool had 'em hidden in his desk drawer," she confirmed. "Like he was savin' em or somethin'."

"I see he brought you some donuts, too," Lilly added, glancing up at her colleague.

"I know," Miller replied gleefully. "I was just gettin' to those." She lifted the lid of the donut box, then swore loudly when she discovered that one of the donuts was already missing.

"Somethin' wrong with the donuts?" Lilly asked, arching a brow.

"Fatass already went and ate one! Seriously, what _is_ his problem?" Kat ranted, as she grabbed the donut next to the empty space where the twelfth one should have been.

"He's done everything except pull your pigtails," Lilly said with a teasing smile. She glanced up just in time to see a brief flash in her colleague's dark eyes.

Miller took a bite of her donut and fumed inwardly_. Lilly Rush, of all people, havin' the nerve to put her nose in my business? The one who's been screwin' her partner for a month and not even botherin' to tell us about it? Ooooh, the nerve of her. _

A slow smile crept across Kat's face. Her time was coming. Phase Two wasn't just about the boys, oh, no. Scotty was in the capable hands of Will Jeffries and Nick Vera, and she knew that if anyone could break Scotty, it would be those two.

But Kat Miller was a damn fine detective in her own right. So fine, in fact, that they'd given her the toughest, and perhaps most rewarding, assignment of her stint in Homicide: getting a confession from Lilly Rush.

Miller's inner monologue was interrupted by the arrival of Stillman, who headed into the squad room holding a folder. "We got Tim's girlfriend, Carol, in Room A," Stillman announced, handing the folder to Lilly.

"Good," Lilly replied, and Miller detected just a hint of relief in her colleague's voice. _That relief's gonna be short-lived, my friend, _she muttered, as she followed Lilly into the interview room.

* * *

After the interview ended, Lilly sighed as Carol left the room. She was definitely mad about Tim's betrayal, there was no denying that, but they hadn't managed to pin the crime on her, and in her heart of hearts, Lilly knew Carol wasn't the doer. Besides, she had mentioned something about Shawn threatening Ann during a conversation with one of the warehouse guys, the very warehouse guy Scotty and the others were sitting on the corner in the Badlands trying to track down.

So they were getting closer…but still no confession. No closed case. No replaced evidence box. And no respite from the damn office romance that was suddenly everywhere she turned.

With another sigh, Lilly gathered up her notes and started to head out, but Kat stopped her.

"Helluva case, huh?" she began, and though her tone was casual, something in it made a shiver run down Lilly's spine.

"Yeah," she said lightly, avoiding her colleague's eyes. She headed for the door, but Kat blocked her.

"I could really use your insight on a thing or two," she added.

Lilly studied Miller for a minute. Her expression was honest, eyes twinkling with intelligence and a bit of anticipation. It could just be about the case, she reasoned. But it also could…not be about the case. Lilly stood there for a few moments, weighing the risks. If it was about the case, this could be the break they needed, the break that would solve this damn thing and put it to rest once and for all. But if it wasn't…

Sensing Lilly wavering a bit, Miller decided to pounce. "C'mon, Lil," she urged with a smile. "Let's show those boys who rules the roost around here. You and me, woman to woman? I'll bet anything we can get this damn case solved today, and be eatin' my donuts when those Neanderthals come back from the Badlands. Whaddaya say?"

Lilly paused briefly, then slowly, reluctantly, lowered herself into the chair, still eyeing Kat warily.

_Gotcha, _Miller mused. She'd been hoping to keep her true motives out of her eyes. Lil was suspicious, no doubt about that; she wouldn't be the detective she was if she didn't listen to that suspicious nature of hers. But Kat hoped beyond all hope that Lilly would give her the benefit of the doubt, and the mere fact that she was sitting at that table told her that there was a chance she'd done just that.

"You know, what I can't figure out for the life of me is how this whole thing with Tim and Ann got started, and how they managed to keep it hidden from their co-workers for so long." She looked at Lilly pointedly, noticing with some satisfaction that her blonde colleague had turned even paler than normal.

Lilly's blood ran cold. Was this still about the case? She tried to fight the rising panic.

Miller perched on the edge of the table and fixed Lilly with a conspiratorial glance.

"Gotta kinda feel for 'em, really," she began. "They're just friends, just co-workers, but then they get on the road, away from their normal routine, have a few too many, and fall into bed together. It happens. No biggie. But…I'm thinkin' they must have realized that there was more there than them just bein' friends. Poor fools," she chided gently. "Must be hard, fallin' for your best friend."

Rising from her seat, she continued. "When they got back, they tried to break it off, but that just got 'em nowhere." She dug through the case file and pulled out some of the interview notes. "Friendship suffered, they fought like cats and dogs for a couple of days, it says here. Everyone noticed. Co-workers say she was a real bitch on wheels, and he just sat there poutin' like a damn six-year-old," she continued, noting, with satisfaction, the alarm in Lilly's eyes.

_Oh, shit. This is definitely not about the case._

"It couldn't go on like that," Miller continued. "They were ruinin' the office camaraderie with their fightin'. Musta gotten to the point where they thought hidin' an affair would be easier than hidin' that one-night stand in Scranton."

Lilly swallowed hard, tried to respond, but words simply would not come, and Miller didn't let up.

"One night, it looks like they just gave in." She shuffled her papers. "Got a couple witnesses that say that one mornin', the two of 'em came in smilin' like little kids on Christmas, and the fightin' was a thing of the past." Miller chuckled, noticing the rising panic in Lilly's eyes. "Especially Tim…co-workers say he looked like the cat that ate the damn canary, struttin' his stuff like he just bagged Miss America. He was okay at keepin' his mouth shut, they say, but that damn smile…fool couldn't wipe it off. It's like it was tattooed on or somethin'."

"You know, I kinda sympathize with Ann," Miller continued softly, flipping a page in her notebook. "Seems like this fiancé of hers was a real jackass." She flipped another page and ran her finger along the lines of scribbled text until she found what she was looking for. "Hmmm…yeah…first date, went to a _hockey_ game, of all things. Says here that Shawn brought his damn brother along, and then those bastards _forgot _her. Just left her there at the game." Her voice rose with irritation at the injustice. "And she wanted to _marry_ this fool? What…she think she wasn't good enough for anybody else? Think he was the best she could do? Think settlin' for a jackass was better than bein' alone?" Miller sighed wistfully. "Can't say I've never been there," she mused with sympathy.

Snapping out of her affected reverie, she glanced up at Lilly with an arched brow. "Thank God Ann saw the light, huh? This Tim…seemed like a decent guy: sweet, dedicated, great friend, funny as hell, apparently. Good-lookin', too…at least, she thought he was." Miller chuckled as she looked at a photo of Tim. "He doesn't do a thing for me, but to each her own." She lowered her voice slightly and stole a sly glance at Lilly. "And apparently, he was pretty damn good in the sack, too." She noticed the flicker of alarm in Lilly's eyes and the slight flush creeping into her pale cheeks.

"Nope…" Miller continued, "…don't blame her a bit. She'd been through hell and back, it seems like, with this Shawn character…poor girl, unlucky in love…just wanted someone good for a change. Someone who could get through to her, someone who knew her inside and out…couldn't help it that this guy happened to be her co-worker…her best friend…" She sighed, then. "Can't pick who you fall in love with, I guess."

She glanced at her colleague, noticing that Lilly seemed almost to the breaking point. She went in for the kill, speaking softly, but intensely. "You know what I think? I think maybe, deep down…this girl _wanted_ someone to know. Wanted to tell her friends she was with somebody good. Somebody…sweet. Wanted to let the world know she wasn't doomed to be stuck with some jackass. Or…" she finished in a voice barely above a whisper, "…alone." She leaned down on the table and fixed Lilly with a sympathetic gaze. "That sound at all plausible to you?"

Lilly's heart raced, and she met Miller's eyes. They stared at one another for a few moments, and by the expression on her colleague's face, Lilly knew the game was up. She knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that they were no longer talking about the case, if they ever even had been, and she had to get out of there. Had to flee the scene, before she said something stupid and removed all doubt.

"It's plausible," she said, rising quickly and yanking the door open. "I gotta go finish up that report," she said firmly. "We done here?" She didn't wait for an answer before hurrying out of the room.

Miller smacked the table with frustration. So close…so close to getting a confession…and yet, so far. But the look in Lilly's eyes, that brief flash of vulnerability, told Kat all she needed to know.

_Confession or not…interrogation's the best part of this whole damn job, _she mused with satisfaction as she gathered up her notes.

* * *

"Annnnd, we're back," Vera announced triumphantly as he and Jeffries entered the squad room.

"Already?" Miller remarked in surprise, glancing up to see her colleagues.

"No Drugs Today was a smashing success," Vera replied proudly, shrugging out of his coat. "Those hookers and junkies didn't want any part of it, told us what we needed to know."

"What'd you do with Valens?" she asked lightly, glancing around for some sign of her missing co-worker.

"Saw Lil outside and said he had something he needed to talk to her about," Jeffries replied, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"Do we know what that…something…might be?" Miller asked, arching a brow, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Vera nodded confidently. "Oh, yeah. We know," he answered with a smirk.

"So how'd you do?" Jeffries asked, smiling kindly in Kat's direction.

Miller sighed. "So close. So _damn_ close. But...no confession."

"She lawyer up?" Jeffries asked jokingly.

"Pretty much," Miller admitted with a slight chuckle. "I got her to the edge, but she stepped back and ran off before I could do anything else."

"Well, well," Vera couldn't resist gloating. "The great Kat Miller doesn't get a confession, and your Neanderthal colleagues do."

"Shut it, Nick," Miller snapped, her eyes flashing. "You two had the easy one, and you know it."

"Besides, that's not important," Jeffries interjected smoothly. "What's important is who's winning that jackpot. And the answer…neither of you."

"You got any proof of that, Will?" Miller asked, looking at her colleague pointedly.

Jeffries pulled the tape recorder out of his pocket with a smile. "Read 'em and weep," he answered with confidence. He pressed the Play button, and a tinny version of Scotty's voice could be heard, clearly proclaiming, "She ain't just a move. I…I love her, man."

He pressed the Stop button then, and Miller couldn't resist smiling broadly. "Awwww," she cooed. "He _loves _her."

Jeffries' eyes shone with triumph. "That he does. Now pay up," he ordered softly.

"Not so fast, my friend," Miller replied smoothly, rising from her desk as a thought suddenly occurred to her. "I didn't get a confession from Lil."

"So?" Vera demanded. He knew his chances of winning the jackpot had long since been shot to hell, and found himself instantly on Jeffries' side of the argument.

"So…we have no idea how Lil feels about him," she answered with triumph. "Could be love, could be just dating from her end. That woman's a tough nut to crack. She didn't say word one about her feelings for him."

Jeffries' smile faded, and he sighed as he realized she was absolutely right.

"No confession, no jackpot," Miller confirmed, folding her arms across her chest and fixing Jeffries with a confident stare.

He shrugged and tossed the tape recorder into his desk drawer. "That's just fine," he replied gently. "Don't mind biding my time."

Throwing his colleagues a mischievous glance as he headed for the kitchen to refill his coffee mug, Jeffries fired a parting shot. "Anticipation just makes the victory that much sweeter."

Miller fixed Vera with a steely glare. "He's damn right about that anticipation. 'Cause I'm anticipatin' one more donut to fill out that dozen...and I think that one's gonna be the sweetest one of all." She smiled serenely and headed back to her desk.

* * *

Lilly hurried out of the building, ran down the steps, and blindly took off down the sidewalk. She didn't even know where she was going, she just knew she had to get out of there for a while and clear her head. Miller knew. She had to know. Kat Miller wasn't stupid, and there was enough evidence from the last few weeks to put her and Scotty together. Lilly would be a fool to think otherwise. And once Miller knew, everyone would know, and if everyone knew, Boss would know, and she'd be out of a job. She was sure of it. She'd have to transfer out, and she'd lose the only real thing in her life, the only thing that had been constant through all the shit she'd been dragged through. She couldn't risk losing it. Men came and men went, and she was a complete idiot to think Scotty would stay around. Scotty, with his damn Lone Wolf Cop Theory. He'd told her that, romance-wise, they'd needed to take what they could, when they could, because every good cop was a lone wolf. Deep down, she knew he was probably right.

Lilly thought back over the last few weeks and was forced to admit that they had been among the happiest weeks of her life. She'd had some idea how wonderful Scotty Valens was underneath all that cocky bravado, but she'd never, in a million years expected to feel…this way. Not about him. Not about...anyone, really, she realized with a start.

All the more reason to call it off now. Tears stung her eyes at the thought of what she'd be giving up, and she knew it would probably hurt like hell, but not as much as it would later, when he walked out, when he left, just like everyone else, and she was alone again. At least, if she ended it now, she'd still have the welcome embrace of her job. If she waited much longer, she wouldn't even have that. Not with the way the gossip was sure to be swirling around the office in the days to come.

"Lil!" a familiar voice said behind her. She froze and winced a little. She turned and saw Scotty jogging toward her, and her heart twisted painfully. _Dammit._ Of all the people she wanted to see, he was about the last. She just…wasn't ready to face him yet.

"Haven't seen you all day," he remarked casually, looking around to make sure they were alone before leaning in for a kiss. He tried to keep his voice light, tried to keep the panic out of it, but the way she ducked and forced his lips to land on her cheek instead of her mouth didn't exactly help much in that effort. _Well…we are right in front of Headquarters_, he reasoned.

"How was No Drugs Today?" she asked, not meeting his eyes. "Get what you needed?"

"Yeah…a lot quicker than last time. Vera didn't even get to roast his marshmallows," Scotty replied lightly. Lilly chuckled, and he continued.

"Everything's pointin' to the ex-fiance as the doer," he answered, his mind whirling with how the hell he was going to tell Lilly that he screwed up big-time, that he'd confessed to Jeffries the true nature of their relationship. Better to come out with it straight rather than risk having her find out from Will, Scotty figured. Oh, he was sure he'd be facing her wrath, but perhaps she'd go easy on him if he was truthful. It had always worked with his mom…

Smiling nervously, he asked, "So…you wanna go get some coffee or something? Real coffee? Away from here?"

Lilly smiled slightly and shook her head. "No, thanks…I've got all the coffee I need."

"Okay…wanna grab some dinner later?" he pressed.

"No time for that...got a case to solve," she replied, almost reflexively.

Something deep inside Scotty snapped just then, despite his best efforts to hold it together. "What the hell's goin' on with you?" he demanded, far more harshly than he intended, as he peered deep into her eyes.

What he saw there made his blood run cold. The mask was back. That goddamned icy stare had taken up residence in those sapphire eyes again, making them nearly impossible to read. _Oh, shit._

"Lil?" he asked again, barely above a whisper.

"Miller knows," Lilly said softly, icily.

"She knows?" Scotty repeated.

"Yes, she knows," Lilly replied, looking at him helplessly.

"How do you know that?" Scotty asked softly, slipping into detective mode.

"She just fucking interrogated me about you, that's how I know," Lilly spat.

"Slow down, Lil," Scotty said, with far more calmness than he felt. "What…exactly…did she say?"

"It's this damn case," Lilly explained, her words tumbling over one another in a panicked torrent. "She got all sympathetic, saying how Ann was stuck in a dead-end relationship with a loser, and how she was afraid of being alone, and then Tim shows up, they're just friends, they fall into bed together…" she looked at Scotty, unable to finish her explanation.

"Did she come out and ask you about me? About us?" Scotty pressed.

"No," Lilly admitted. "But I know by the way she looked at me that she knows. She's gotta know. And if she doesn't, she's about ten seconds from figuring it out, and then everybody else will know. Kat Miller can't keep her mouth shut forever!"

She met his gaze then, and the look in his eyes scared her even more as she put two and two together. "They already know, don't they," she asked, panic edging her voice.

"Will does," Scotty admitted reluctantly.

"Oh, God," Lilly groaned, the blood draining from her face.

"It--it had to come out sometime," Scotty protested, suddenly on the defensive.

"Does…does _Boss_ know?" she demanded, her heart racing wildly.

"I don't think Boss knows yet, but we gotta tell him, Lil. We gotta...come clean," Scotty pointed out, recalling Jeffries' earlier advice.

"We--we can't tell Boss," Lilly argued, her breathing shallow with fear. "I can't be that girl, Scotty. I can't throw it all away. I was fine with it when it was a secret, but now, it's out…and I just…I can't do this anymore… we gotta end this, Scotty. Before everybody else finds out…we--we gotta call it off."

A nearly hysterical panic surged through Scotty's veins. "Lil," he said sharply, grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her to meet his gaze. "Calm down. It's all gonna be all right." He was desperate to keep her there so they could talk about this, but he knew by the tension he felt in her arms that she was seconds away from bolting, like a frightened deer.

Lilly fixed him with a deadly glare. "This was supposed to be a secret, Scotty," she hissed.

"A secret for how long?" he asked, his voice rising and his brow creasing in confusion. Surely she didn't intend for them to keep it a secret forever.

She gazed up at him briefly, then looked away. "For...however long it lasted," she replied, her voice wavering uncertainly.

Scotty flung his arms wide. "Okay, and what if…what if it lasted, and we ended up gettin'…you know…married…or somethin'? A secret marriage? Think we were gonna pull that off?" he demanded, his heart racing with alarm.

Lilly's face turned even paler as she met his gaze, and he read the fright in her eyes. "Married?" she repeated incredulously.

_Shit. _"Well…yeah," Scotty admitted softly. "Don't tell me you never thought about it."

Lilly just stared in stunned silence, her blue eyes wide in disbelief.

"You never thought about it," he said with finality, his heart sinking to the ground.

She took a step back from him. "No, Scotty, God…you yourself said every good cop is a lone wolf."

"Lil, I didn't mean—" he began, starting to explain that that was before…that was when he'd given up on love, when he'd resigned himself to being alone because the love of his life was six feet under. That was before he knew how indescribably wonderful a second chance could be. But Lilly cut him off.

"No, you were right," she interrupted with a sickening finality. "You gotta be on your own to be a good cop. Did you honestly think this would last forever?" She searched his eyes, unable to conceal the terror in her own.

"Well, yeah, kinda…I hoped it would, anyway," Scotty replied, feeling the sting of tears behind his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair and started to pace the sidewalk. "I mean…damn, Lil…what we have doesn't happen every day!"

"Don't you think I know that?" Lilly shot back, and that gave him a tiny spark of hope. At least she was willing to admit that this wasn't just some fling…it was real for her, too.

He frowned at her, completely mystified. "Then what is your problem? What the _hell_ is your problem with lettin' other people know about us?" he demanded, the anger momentarily overtaking the pain.

Lilly sighed in frustration. "We can't be good cops and be…_entangled_, Scotty. And you know as well as I do that IAD will be all over our asses, and we'll probably both be fired."

"They ain't gonna fire us, Lil," Scotty replied, attempting, yet again, to reassure her.

"Maybe not you," she spat back. "But I'm already on thin ice after…"

"After what?" he demanded.

"After…Joseph," she replied reluctantly. "I almost threw my career away for him. I'm not gonna do it again."

_Good God, she's comparing me to Joseph? _Scotty mused in disbelief, trying to decide whether this was a good sign or a bad one.

"There's a big difference between datin' your partner and compromisin' an investigation, Lil," Scotty argued heatedly. _Joseph?_

Anger flashed briefly in her eyes before she turned the tables on him. "I'm not the only one who's screwed up, Scotty. You know what happened to Sutton."

"Sutton?" Scotty repeated blankly. "Who the hell--oh…right…" he realized slowly, the memory dawning on him.

"She left, you stayed. It's different for women," Lilly flung back. "There's a double standard."

"I didn't even--nothin' happened with her. She left on her own," Scotty protested.

"But she wouldn't have had to if you hadn't--." She stopped, sighed, and fixed him with another glare. "We've both screwed up, we're both on thin ice, and we'll probably both get fired, Scotty."

"So…so what if they fire us?" Scotty said with a sweep of his arm. "It's just a job. We'll find another one. Surely there's another cold case squad somewhere that could use a coupla kick-ass detectives. It's a big country."

Lilly looked at him in disbelief. "You don't get it, do you, Scotty?"

The panic which he'd been fighting back all day surged forth in a flood. "No, I don't get it!" he burst out. "Don't get any part of it. You wanna explain it to me?"

She turned and started to walk away from him, then whirled around to face him once more, and her next words cut him like a knife. "This job...this goddamn, soul-sucking job….it's all I have. I don't speak to my family, I barely have friends…everyone leaves me…everything changes, but…this job doesn't. It's…all I can count on….it's all I got, Scotty," she said, her voice laced with pain and bitter irony.

_How the hell can she possibly think that? After the month we've had? Is she so blind? _Reeling from the shock, Scotty felt his blood starting to boil, the heat of anger shooting through his veins, and he lashed out. "This job ain't all you have, Lil! Don't you see that? I mean, just…just _look!" _he ordered her, suddenly finding it difficult to draw a full breath.

"Look at what?" Lilly shot back.

All the pent-up emotions rushed forth then and burst from his lips in a desperate exclamation. "Look at _me, _goddammit!" he insisted, his voice ragged. "I love you!"

They stood there, staring at one another for a long moment. Scotty's heart slammed against the wall of his chest, and he heard the blood roaring in his ears as he sighed in frustration, brushed his upper lip with his thumb and looked at her, the words of his declaration just hovering there in the air between them. He hadn't meant to say it. Not yet. Not like this. But he was desperate…it felt like trying to hold onto a wave as it crashed onto the beach. And desperate times call for desperate measures.

Lilly could have sworn her heart stopped beating. She couldn't move…couldn't even breathe. All she could do was stand there and stare at Scotty, who stood not ten feet away from her, his breathing uneven, a wild look in his eyes; one that spoke simultaneously of deep love and deep pain. The world started to spin.

Scotty closed the gap between them and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. He looked deep into her eyes. "Did you hear me? I said I love you," he repeated softly, his voice caressing the words. It was so gentle and reverent; it almost sounded like a prayer, and she thought she caught the sheen of tears in his endless eyes as his right hand tenderly cupped the back of her neck and his thumb brushed against her cheek.

His words echoed around in the chamber of her mind, and her own eyes blurred with unshed tears. Scotty…loved her. He…loved…her. He'd said it. Out loud. To her face. He _loved_ her. She gazed back at him in wonder.

And then the world came crashing down. As it tossed around in her head, Scotty's declaration was suddenly changing from the beautiful caress she'd heard into something mocking and ugly. _I love you, _her dad had said, and then he'd walked out. _I love you,_ her mom had said, but then went on to explain why there wouldn't be any dinner tonight. _I love you,_ Ray had said, before he took off into the sunset on his Harley. _I love you,_ Joseph had said, but then couldn't understand why she'd needed closure with Ray. _I love you,_ Patrick had said, the taste of her sister still on his lips.

_I love you,_ Scotty had said…and the line was drawn in the sand. No more pretending. No more hiding. All of a sudden, it was decision time.

He was too close. This was too fast. It was too much. Too much was at risk. The world was spinning. The walls were closing in. She had to get out of there. Fight…or flight.

"Lil?" Scotty whispered, the sickening chill of dread overtaking his body as he felt her muscles tense up like coiled springs.

"I…I can't. I'm sorry…" she faltered, the tears threatening to spill over. She took a deep breath, retracted the tears, and repeated, with icy finality, "I just…can't."

In a flash, she was gone, leaving Scotty standing on the sidewalk, jaw clenching as he fought his own tears. He swallowed hard, attempting to bury his pain, and then, stormed back into Headquarters.

* * *

**A/N: Oh, dear. I was afraid this might happen. **


	32. I Think I'll Just Stay Here And Drink

**A/N: Because Scotty angst is soooo much easier to write than Lilly angst…**

**Disclaimer: As always, I don't own these characters. If I did, they wouldn't be in the situation they're in. I also don't own the lyrics to the song. Rascal Flatts has that honor.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Two: I Think I'll Just Stay Here And Drink**

Scotty sat in his living room, illuminated only by the pale glow of the streetlights outside, and studied the swirls in his glass of scotch as though they contained the answers to all of life's mysteries. It was his third shot. Maybe his fourth. He didn't know. But however many he'd had had been in quick succession, and he was starting to feel marginally better.

He chuckled bitterly to himself as he remembered the last time he'd sat in the dark, drinking himself silly with scotch. That would have been one chilly evening in Nashville, when he'd started the day alone and planned on ending it the same way…before a pair of sparkling blue eyes and a dazzling smile convinced him to do otherwise. Now, he'd started the day as a man in love, half of a couple, and he'd planned on ending it the same way. _Life sure has a funny-ass way of comin' full circle_, he thought, as he drained the rest of his drink.

Scotty's hand shook slightly as he poured his next glass, and some of the scotch splashed out of the bottle and onto the carpet in front of him. He eyed the dark splotches and laughed, the stains on the carpet suddenly amusing to him for some reason, then tossed the shot down his throat and instantly poured another. He wasn't planning on stopping until he either forgot Lilly entirely, passed out cold, or the bottle was empty, whichever came first. His money was on one of the latter two options. He'd tried watching TV, but that hadn't worked, so he'd settled for listening to the radio. The rock station he'd been listening to earlier wasn't doing it for him anymore, so he absently clicked through the stations until he heard the twangy sound of a steel guitar.

_Oh, the irony. The beautiful fuckin' irony._

With a twisted smile, he turned up the volume, tossed the remote to the floor and sat back on the sofa with a sigh. He'd always hated country music, hated the hell out of it, now even more than before, but there was something about it that was just perfect for wallowing. And wallowing was exactly what he intended to do.

Scotty hadn't seen Lilly since their ill-fated conversation in front of headquarters. It seemed that she'd split from work, which shocked the hell out of everybody, Scotty most of all, and he hadn't had the faintest idea where she'd gone. He'd tried calling her cell a couple of times, but it had gone straight to voicemail. He wasn't surprised, not in the least, and a quiet seething had started to seep into his soul. He could take a hint. Stillman had asked after her with concern, and suggested that Scotty go by her apartment to check on her, but, after choking back the bitter laughter that threatened to spill forth, he'd managed to nonchalantly beg out of that particular responsibility, insisting that he had a bunch of paperwork to catch up on and that he was pretty sure she was just coming down with the flu.

The rest of the afternoon had passed in a blur. He'd tried to bury himself in the case, but even that hadn't worked, because the only thing he had heard, read, or seen the whole damn afternoon was how close Tim and Ann were, how they'd been the best of friends, and how the office gossips, after their initial shock, weren't surprised to learn that they'd slept together. Best friends always make the best couples, they'd said, and Tim and Ann were just _perfect _for each other, such an _adorable _couple, on and on and on, until Scotty actually felt nauseous.

The nausea, however, was quickly replaced by a slow-burning rage. Another happy couple, another pair of idiots who somehow managed to have a functional relationship. It looked so damn easy, and yet that success, on a long-term basis anyway, was forever eluding him. As he angrily scribbled through his paperwork, he fumed inwardly, ignoring the concerned glances from his colleagues, the thoughts tumbling over one another in his head. What the hell was wrong with him and Lil that they couldn't have that? What the hell was wrong with Lil, that she either wouldn't or couldn't return his love? And what the hell was wrong with him, that he kept falling for these troubled women he never managed to be able to save? In an effort to keep from snapping out at work again, Scotty had clenched his jaw so much throughout the afternoon that it now ached. _Perfect_, he mused bitterly. _Another pain to drink into oblivion._

When the day finally ended, he'd left the office without a backward glance. His first instinct was to go straight to the gym and just punch the crap out of something, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that was a bad idea. The gym was full of people…goddamned happy people with their goddamned perfect lives. Nope. The gym was out. Too many people.

So instead, he'd headed home, changed out of his work clothes, and shoved his furniture against the wall with an irate growl, taking perverse pleasure in the dull thuds the various pieces made as they hit sheetrock and rattled the pictures he'd hung. Finding an angry-sounding rock station on the radio, he then cranked up the volume and skipped rope maniacally until he was drenched in sweat and his muscles quivered from the exertion. Finally, having exhausted all his rage, Scotty tossed the rope to the side and collapsed onto his displaced sofa, his mind blissfully too preoccupied with his burning lungs and aching limbs to think about much of anything else. But once he caught his breath and felt his strength beginning to return, all that was left for him to think about was the soul-numbing pain. Hoping to run from it, he eased himself off the couch and gingerly made his way to the shower, where he peeled off his sodden clothes and stood under the spray for a few minutes, hoping to wash the pain away, but of course, that didn't work. Thoughts tumbled through his mind, thoughts he didn't want to have, but eventually realized he couldn't avoid. Finally, he gave in to them, gave in to the inevitable resurfacing of memories. Memories of the last time he'd shoved his furniture against the wall.

Elisa's death had been different. No less painful, certainly, but a completely different kind of pain, one laced with self-flagellation for all his failures, all the ways he'd screwed up. He knew intellectually, of course he knew, that her death wasn't his fault…but try telling that to his shattered heart. Much to Scotty's surprise, however, lurking there quietly underneath the pain, underneath the heartbreak, underneath the crushing load of guilt, had been a sense of relief. Elisa's suffering was over. Her giants were finally gone. She was at peace. And Scotty…he didn't have to ride the roller coaster anymore. It had finally come to a stop, sudden and shuddering though it was, and he'd been able to climb out, with shaky legs and a queasy stomach, to solid ground. Of course, admitting that relief, even though it was only to himself, had made the guilt and the self-loathing increase all the more.

But Lil…this was different. There was no relief. There was no sense of getting off a roller coaster. The ride was just getting started; one that, despite the short period of time they'd been together, he'd wanted to ride for the rest of his life. After Elisa died, Scotty had promised himself that he'd never love again; he'd take what he could get when he could get it, but his heart…that would forever belong to her. Of course, he'd broken that promise after only two years, but that was the one broken promise he hadn't hated himself for. Elisa herself had told him to move on, to find someone who would care for his heart the way she wanted to, but couldn't. And he'd taken her advice, at least in part. He had given his full heart to Lilly Rush, but in a matter of seconds, she'd shattered it.

Not that the self-flagellation part was any different this time around. Oh, no. He knew if he'd just been more…careful…if he hadn't been so damn emotional, so damn…_sloppy_…things might still be the way they'd been. But, no, he'd had to go and screw it all up again, like he always did, and tell Lilly he loved her. It had been far too soon, far too early to expect that kind of commitment from her, and he knew it. He knew Lil's history with relationships well enough to know that she feared exactly what he wanted from her. And yet...deep down, Scotty was somewhat glad he'd finally told her what he wanted. He realized in a flash that, had he had the afternoon to do over again, he probably wouldn't have done anything differently. He'd been dying to tell her for weeks, and she needed to know the truth, whatever she chose to do with it.

No, the screwup wasn't in telling her, he decided...it was in falling for Lilly Rush to begin with.

He'd had absolutely no intention of doing that. None whatsoever. She was just his friend and partner. Even after that night in Nashville, he'd flown home, trying his best to put it behind him and get things back to as close to normal as they could possibly be after a drunken hookup. He'd had no idea how wonderful she'd be, how happy she'd make him…hadn't had a clue. Sleeping with his partner was perhaps the dumbest idea he'd ever had, but it had turned into something brilliant, something beautiful. Scotty knew that that one drunken night in Nashville was the only way he'd have ever realized that the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with…had been right under his nose the whole time.

He knew he had no business wanting these things with anyone, really, least of all Lil, but…he wanted them just the same. He wanted things with Lilly that he never thought he'd want with anyone after Elisa. He wanted Lilly to love him the way he loved her, wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, wanted to share the ups and downs they'd encounter together. But now, despite the way he ached for all these things, he realized, with a dull sense of certainty, that, for the first time in his life…all the fight had just bled out of him.

Scotty had spent his entire life fighting: fighting to right the wrongs of the world, fighting to erase his own failures…had spent nearly a decade fighting against Elisa's giants and the inevitable conclusion that there was nothing he could do to help her, no way he could save her. And now, he realized, he was in a similar situation with Lilly. She didn't have the same giants Elisa had, of course, but they were giants just the same. He'd been fighting them the whole time they'd been together, he suddenly realized. Fighting to sleep with her again, fighting to get her to accept that they were dating, fighting to get her to call the relationship what it was. He'd fought her fears and her trust issues and done the best he could to convince her of his love without scaring her off, and it was a damn hard balancing act. It required a perfection Scotty realized, with a searing clarity, that he just couldn't attain. Yet again, his best just wasn't good enough.

With a heavy heart, he began to realize that perhaps he'd been right in Nashville all along: that maybe he was destined to just be a lone wolf cop, having struck out at love twice now, and that…that brought the grief, the heart-wrenching sense of loss, together with the tears, the tears that had been threatening to fall all afternoon. He decided, in a moment of certainty, that running from them, hiding from them, fighting them…wasn't an option. Not this time. Last time…oh, last time had been such a mess. So, finally, having spent his rage and beaten himself up for a while, he gave in to them. His tears mingled with the water from the shower as he began to picture, once again, the rest of his life without the woman he loved. Only this time, the woman he longed for, the woman he ached to have in his arms, wasn't a sweet-faced brunette with shimmering dark eyes and dimples. No, this time, the face floating before him, ever-present but eternally out of reach, was pale, with striking blue eyes and silky blonde hair.

It was the first time in his life he'd ever wept for someone other than Elisa.

Once the tears stopped falling, Scotty grasped, with a renewed sense of horror, the fact that his job would never be the same, and he leaned back against the wall of the shower as the force of this new realization washed over him. He had an agonizing choice to make: to be around the woman he loved, all day every day, knowing she couldn't love him, but still being able to be a part of her life, still being her partner, maybe even still being her friend…or leaving altogether and never seeing her again. He leaned there against the wall, ignoring the fact that the water had started to lose its heat, and quickly realized, with a sinking sensation, that being around Lilly would prove to be impossible. He knew there was no way in the world he could ever be the same around her again. He knew he'd promised her they'd stay friends, no matter what, but that was before. That was before he'd realized how amazing she was, that was before he'd fallen madly in love with her. There was no going back from that. No going back to being just friends with her, just partners, just co-workers. Not in a million years. Another broken promise, goddammit. Things could never be the same, and with a fresh stab of pain in his soul, he knew what he had to do.

Stepping out of the shower, he'd thrown on his favorite jeans and old gray hoodie, and then spent about an hour at his computer drafting two documents: a request to be transferred out of Homicide, and a letter of resignation from the Philadelphia Police Department entirely. He couldn't remember now, after several shots of scotch, what reasons he'd given in either letter, nor did he have the faintest idea where he wanted to go. He wasn't sure whether it would be enough for him to see if he could go back to West; talk to Manny, maybe go back undercover and hide out in someone else's life for a while, or whether he'd need to pull up stakes and leave Philly entirely to escape the memories. But he knew he couldn't make that kind of decision now, not without some thought, so he'd written two letters, figuring that, in the days to come, he'd learn what route he needed to take.

He'd forced himself to take care of that task before the drinking started, looking longingly as he typed at the half-empty bottle of scotch that lurked on top of his bureau, but knowing that if he were going to quit his job, he needed to do it stone-cold sober. But as he'd printed out his letters, scrawled his signature across the bottom of each one, and sealed them in two envelopes, Scotty had realized, with a sinking heart, that they could transfer him to fucking Pluto, and his dreams would still be haunted by blonde hair and soulful blue eyes.

That was when he'd cracked open the scotch.

* * *

"I still don't see why we we're doin' this," Vera complained, as Jeffries parked the car outside Scotty's building.

"We're doing this," Jeffries said evenly, "because Scotty is our friend, and we care about him. Besides, he's ignoring his phone again."

"He's ignorin' it because he wants to be alone," Vera argued. "We should leave him be…let him cry, throw things, get piss-drunk, go screw an actual barmaid, whatever…but let him do it alone."

"Look," Jeffries replied smoothly, "I've been where he's been. You've been there, too. And, more importantly…he's been where he is now. I, for one, don't want him spiraling out of control again, do you?"

"Did he even tell you what happened?" Vera asked, ignoring Jeffries' question.

"No," Jeffries answered, "but I know he got his heart broken today, and he needs us."

"Ain't this kinda our fault in the first place?" Vera asked.

Jeffries sighed. "I don't know, Nick. I really don't. Scotty didn't tell me what happened, just said it was over." He stopped for a moment, considering his next words. "But, if it is our fault, don't you think we oughta face up to it? Besides…maybe if he's mad at us…he won't be mad at himself."

Vera grunted, still clearly unconvinced.

Jeffries opened his door, then stopped to look at his partner. "Don't you remember when your wife kicked you out?"

Vera simply nodded.

"That pizza and beer we brought you? That was Scotty's idea," Jeffries continued.

Vera didn't say anything, but Jeffries could see the stubborn refusal starting to wane a bit. "We don't got any food," he pointed out. "Guess we could go pick up a couple cheese steaks or somethin'."

Jeffries smiled. "You think that was about food, Nick? That was about us being there for you."

Vera's face softened further. "He's prob'ly gonna kick us out," he argued weakly, knowing it was futile. Arguing with Jeffries, he realized, was about as fruitful as arguing with Kat. Completely different in nature, and not nearly as much fun, but in the end…every bit as pointless.

"Scotty's one of our own. He needs us, man," Jeffries concluded, and Vera merely nodded. "If he kicks us out, he kicks us out. Nothin' we can do about that. But he needs to know we care."

Vera nodded again and unbuckled his seat belt.

"Besides," Jeffries added. "You didn't see the look in his eyes."

They climbed out of the car, shut their doors in near-perfect unison, then tugged open the door of Scotty's building and, trepidation coiling in the pit of Vera's stomach, started up the stairs.

Before they even reached the second floor, much to Vera's surprise, they could hear the mournful sounds of steel guitar bleeding into the hallway.

_What hurts the most_

_Was bein' so close_

Jeffries stole a glance at Vera. "The man's gone country," he remarked with a slight smile and a shake of his head.

Vera was suddenly alarmed. Country? Scotty Valens didn't _do _country.

"That ain't a good sign," Vera remarked, with a wary glance at his partner.

_And havin' so much to say_

_And watchin' you walk away_

"He's in the wallowing stage…that's good, actually. Means he's dealing with it this time," Jeffries said knowingly, as they reached the top of the stairs, the music growing louder with every step. They tested their colleague's door, found it unlocked, and tentatively pushed it open.

It took a few moments for their eyes to adjust to the dimness in the room, but what they saw would have made them laugh had it not been so shockingly unusual for the Scotty they knew. All they could do was stop and stare.

_And never knowin'_

_What could have been_

Scotty stood in the center of his rearranged living room, using a mostly empty bottle of scotch as a microphone, painfully crooning along with Rascal Flatts. Jeffries winced as his colleague hit a particularly sour note.

_And not seein' that lovin' you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do_

Switching on the light, Jeffries crossed the room and turned off the stereo. Startled by the sudden brightness and deafening silence, Scotty glanced around the room, brandishing the scotch bottle as a weapon. He glared darkly at the intruders for a moment, thinking there were at least four of them, then relaxed a bit as he realized that two of them looked suspiciously like Will Jeffries, and the other two could only be Nick Vera. _Since when do those guys have twin brothers? _Scotty wondered blearily, then realized that the twin-ness must have occurred somewhere between work and the bottom of his scotch bottle.

"Oh, it's just you guys," he slurred with an intoxicated smile. "How in the hell are you guys?"

"Lot better'n you," Vera remarked with a chuckle. He'd been out drinking with Scotty many, many times before, but he'd never, _ever _seen him this drunk. Oh, sure, there'd been that one time when, in a moment of inebriated weakness, he and Scotty had crooned along with the jukebox at Jones' on a dare from Kat, but that had been to the theme from "Cops." Vera was suddenly a bit fearful of how much alcohol his colleague must have consumed to make him sing along with a _country_ song. _Rascal Flatts?_

Jeffries, relishing the merciful silence, turned to face Scotty and looked him up and down critically, trying to gauge how much liquor Valens had in him.

"How much of that have you had to drink?" he finally asked.

Scotty stopped, swaying uncertainly, and considered the question. How much _had _he had to drink? With effort, he raised the bottle to the light and sloshed the amber liquid back and forth, then swore mightily when Lilly's face floated before him once more.

"Not 'nough," he concluded, raising the bottle to his lips and taking another swig.

Jeffries crossed the room in a single step and wrested the bottle from Scotty's hand. "Oh, I disagree," he said smoothly, handing the bottle to Vera.

"Whatcha doin?" Scotty complained bitterly, swiping an arm weakly in the bottle's direction in an attempt to intercept the pass. "You gimme back my scotch."

"Come on," Vera said, taking the bottle from Jeffries and crossing the apartment to the kitchen, where he reached up and placed the bottle on top of Scotty's refrigerator. Glancing back into the living room, he noticed that Scotty had sunk down onto the sofa and buried his head in his hands. Jeffries was sitting beside him, a supportive hand on Scotty's shoulder. Instantly looking around for something to do, Vera noticed the collection of other liquor bottles on Scotty's bureau and busied himself with relocating them to the top of the fridge as well. This done, he sighed reluctantly and realized he had no further excuse for avoiding the situation, so he headed back into the living room and perched uncomfortably on the arm of the sofa on the other side of Scotty.

"What's up with your furniture, man?" Vera asked conversationally, glancing around with a furrowed brow. The setup was absolutely horrible.

Jeffries shot Vera a glance. "He does this," he explained kindly. "It's kind of his thing."

"I hate the gym," Scotty slurred in agreement. "Too many people."

Vera's frown deepened in confusion, and Jeffries nodded in the direction of Scotty's discarded jump rope.

Comprehension dawned, and Vera placed a hand on Scotty's shoulder. "Hey, take it easy, man," he began awkwardly. "You'll get through this."

"You don't un'stand," Scotty slurred, his voice sounding thick and strange to his ears. "I love Lil. I fuckin' fell in love with her."

"We, uh…we know," Vera replied simply, waiting for the angry outburst he was sure would follow.

"Of course you do," Scotty replied bitterly. "The whole world's gotta know by now."

"Look, Scotty…" Jeffries began, by way of apology, but Scotty cut him off.

"Wasn't your fault," he explained with a wry grin. "Because of all the women in all the world, I had to go fall in love with one with all the…" he paused, searching for the right word. "Whaddaya call those things…those head things…girls get…?" he asked blankly, glancing at his colleagues for help filling in the gaps the alcohol seemed to have stolen from his vocabulary.

"Issues?" Vera suggested.

"Issues!" Scotty repeated triumphantly, giving Vera a brotherly punch in the arm. "I had to go and fall in love with another chick with a head full of issues…it was only a matter of time 'fore my screwups and her issues came together. And I love her, she doesn't love me, and now it's over. Stupid, huh?" he asked, with a tremulous smile and a slight chuckle, trying to hide the pain with humor, but Vera couldn't help but notice the slight quiver of his colleague's chin as his smile faded.

Vera nodded, suddenly sympathetic. "Sleepin' with Lil is one thing, but fallin' in love with her…ooh."

"And I did," Scotty said mournfully, his voice breaking. A lone tear coursed down his cheek and landed softly on his gray hoodie. "She…all her relationships…they always end like this…we even talked about it in Nashville, you know, on the plane….before…" his voice broke again. "But I thought it'd be different. I thought I could…save her, y'know? Fucked up, right? Just like everything else."

Vera looked up with alarm. The one other time he'd been called on to comfort Scotty, the man had seemed to seal off his emotions and was just aching for a drinking buddy. But this…Vera had never seen him like this. Never seen anyone like this, actually. At a complete loss, he glanced over at Jeffries, begging him wordlessly for help.

Jeffries tossed him a warm, reassuring smile. "It's gonna be okay, Scotty. You've gotten through this before."

Scotty glanced up in surprise. "I ain't never been here before," he argued.

"What about…?" Jeffries paused uncertainly, not daring to say the name aloud. No one had, really, not in over a year.

"Elisa?" Scotty slurred bitterly, then chuckled humorlessly. "Nah…this ain't like Elisa. It's completely different." He stopped, combing his addled brain for a way to explain how it was different, but he soon gave up and settled for repeating himself.

"Completely…fuckin'…different," he managed, as the bitter laughter gave way to unassuaged grief, and despite Scotty's best efforts to fight it, his breath hitched in a quiet sob.

Jeffries took a deep breath. "It hurts like hell now, Scotty, I won't lie to you, but it will get better. You'll wake up tomorrow morning in a lotta pain, but each day after that, it'll hurt a little bit less. You know that. And I know this sounds cliché," he added, "but…you gotta let her go, man. If she was meant to be yours, she'll come back to you."

Scotty sniffled and smiled wanly. "Fat chance of that happenin'," he replied bitterly. "Lil runs away. Just what she does. I ain't never seen her run toward somethin'."

Jeffries sighed. "I don't know what's gonna happen here, I really don't. But you gotta hang tough. You gotta ride this out." He added, with a smile, "And maybe…you oughta lay off the singin' for a while."

Scotty sniffled and scrubbed the tears from his cheeks. "Thanks," he replied thickly.

Jeffries rose to his feet. "Come on, man…you gotta sleep this off," he said, helping Scotty up and guiding him toward the bedroom. Scotty smiled tipsily at Vera as he lurched from the living room.

"Thanks, guys," he said.

"Don't mention it," Vera replied. Then, softly, he added, "We're here for ya, man. You know that, right?"

Scotty nodded. Jeffries then helped steer his drunken colleague toward the bed, and Scotty collapsed on it and immediately fell asleep.

"I think I'm gonna stay here tonight, "Jeffries said to Vera as he came back into the living room and loosened his tie. "Just to make sure he's all right."

He tossed Vera his keys. "Take the car, and I'll come to work with Scotty in the morning." He sighed. "I've been where he is. It won't be pretty."

Vera nodded slowly. "You need anything?"

"Nope," Jeffries replied, "I'm good."

Deep in thought, Vera took a final glance around the room, sighed, then departed, clicking the door closed behind him.

Jeffries kicked off his shoes, dragged the coffee table back into the center of the living room where it belonged, then headed for the kitchen, where he perused the collection of relocated liquor bottles. Finding a dusty bottle of brandy lurking in the back, he grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filled it with brandy, then headed back to the living room, where he retrieved the discarded stereo remote and settled down on the sofa with a contented sigh. Carefully lowering the volume, he pressed the button, and the stereo came to life.

"Country music…good for what ails you," he said to himself as he stretched his arms behind his head and put his feet up on the coffee table with a satisfied smile.

* * *

**A/N: What makes this funny, in addition to the image of a drunken Scotty singing country, is the fact that shortly after I wrote the rough draft of this chapter, I stumbled upon Danny Pino's portrayal of Desi Arnaz in the 2003 TV movie "Lucy," which some wonderful soul put, in its entirety, on YouTube. Parts 4, 6, and 11 demonstrate that Danny can actually sing pretty well. Go figure.**


	33. Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain

**A/N: Okay, all you Lilly-angst fans. This chapter's for you.**

**Disclaimer: I own one of these characters. I'm working on collecting the rest, but it's slow going.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain**

Lilly sat on her sofa, feeling deeply unsettled as she absently stroked Olivia. A gentle rain pattered against the windows, punctuated only occasionally by a soft rumble of thunder. _It's for the best_, she told herself firmly. While she hated what she'd had to do, hated the way she'd hurt Scotty, she honestly didn't have a choice. After everything people had done to her, after all those empty _I love yous _had boomeranged back on her with nothing but pain, she knew she'd done the right thing. It wasn't pleasant, but doing the right thing seldom was, she realized with a wry smile. She was Lilly Rush, the lone wolf cop, and she needed to stay that way. She knew, after this experience with Scotty, that her dating days were over. They had to be. She thought she could date someone and not get entangled, not get her heart involved, but the feelings she'd felt herself starting to have for Scotty told her that she'd already gotten in too deep; that even though they'd been only been together for a month, she'd already let him in too far. Far too close to her heart. He'd even gotten all the way in, once or twice, and that was once or twice too many. She'd let her guard down, and he'd taken that inch and run a mile with it, with all that bullshit talk about marriage and forever…things that deep down, Lilly wanted, but knew she could never have. Not with anyone.

Tripod walked into the room just then and stopped, sniffing the air quizzically, then continued her curious perusal. Lilly watched her pet's progress through the living room as the cat sniffed under furniture, along the baseboards, by the front door, then stopped, looked up at Lilly, and meowed mournfully.

"What is it, sweetie?" Lilly cooed, rising from the couch to see if the cat would let Lilly pick her up. Not likely, she figured, but worth a try. Tripod merely looked up at her indignantly and meowed again.

Lilly sighed and fought back the wave of sadness that threatened to overwhelm her as she realized what, or rather, who, Tripod was looking for. "Sorry, Tripod," she said with a sad chuckle. "He's not coming over tonight." Or ever again, she realized, and was thoroughly unprepared for the pain that slammed into her like a truck. He's not coming. He's gone.

She sighed again and swallowed the sadness, ignoring the tears that pricked her eyes, hoping that maybe, if she just wouldn't give in to them, they'd eventually go away. It usually worked that way, anyhow. Be strong. Don't give in. _It's for the best._

Tripod cast another disapproving glance at Lilly, then turned and headed back upstairs, her tail pointing straight up in the air as a final sign of her opposition to the recent turn of events in Lilly's life.

"Guess your sister's mad at me, huh, Liv?" Lilly asked rhetorically as she settled back down on the sofa. She hadn't been sitting there for more than two minutes before there was a knock at her door.

Her heart started to race, and a wild hope surged through her that maybe, just maybe, it was Scotty. She quickly beat that back, idly wondering where the hell it had come from. It was for the best. And if he was here, she'd just have to break his heart all over again, and she didn't have it in her to do that to him. Not again. Not twice in one day. And she knew, if it was him, that if she didn't break his heart again, they'd probably yell at each other for a while, then his lips would be crashing down on hers, his hands would be tangling in her hair and feverishly roaming over her body, they'd wind up in bed, and that would be wonderful and passionate and exactly what she wanted…but then she'd be right back where she was that morning, wondering what the hell she was doing, and needing to cut her losses before her own heart got broken and her career was down the toilet.

Suddenly irritated with the route her thoughts had chosen to take, she yanked open the door without thinking, her heart pounding with trepidation at who she might find standing there.

It wasn't Scotty, but Stillman, and Lilly just stood in her doorway, blinking in surprise. Boss never came to see her. The only time he'd ever been there was the night her apartment got vandalized by the cult.

"Boss," she exclaimed in disbelief.

Stillman eyed her critically from beneath his umbrella. "How you feelin', Lil?" he asked with concern.

"Fine," she replied automatically. "Come in," she added, almost as an afterthought. What the hell was Boss doing here at this hour?

"Scotty said you had the flu; thought I'd come check on you," he explained, almost paternally, as he shook the raindrops off his umbrella and stepped inside, "since you're never sick."

_The flu? _A stab of regret pricked Lilly's heart as she realized Scotty had still kept their secret, even now that there was no longer a secret to be kept.

Her silence giving him all the answer he needed, Stillman glanced around her apartment. No blankets, no pillows on the sofa, no orange juice or hot tea or chicken soup or any other evidence that Lilly Rush was sick from anything physical. His suspicions confirmed, he turned to her.

"You don't look sick," he said softly.

Lilly couldn't meet his eyes. "I just needed…"

"I know," Stillman replied. He lowered himself onto her couch and tentatively scratched Olivia under the chin.

"You…know?" Lilly asked, her face paling. _What…exactly…does he know? _she wondered in terror, then realized, with a wry sense of irony, that it really didn't matter anymore, anyway. It was over. It was done. It was like it had never happened in the first place. Or so she desperately wished.

Stillman nodded. "I've been around the block a few times, Lil," he continued kindly. "I have a daughter. I know what a breakup looks like. I saw those flowers, that smile on your face. You were happy...and now you're not."

She nodded slowly, those tears filling her eyes again, and she was forced Boss was right. She'd been happy. There was no denying that.

"But…" she protested. "I can't let that get in the way…not again…not after what happened with Joseph," she added softly, hoping to communicate to Stillman that, regardless of whether he knew who, exactly, she'd broken up with…he'd know she was taking her job seriously.

Stillman glanced up at her with a smile, his voice nothing but gentle compassion. "You need to get your priorities straight."

"I did," she argued, finally meeting his gaze. "I called it off. Today. It...it never should have happened in the first place. "

Stillman sighed. He had the utmost respect for Lilly's dedication to her job…but not at the cost of her happiness. And she'd been far too sad for far too long.

"That's not what I meant, Lil," he replied with a smile. "If you give up love and happiness for this job, you're gonna regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, you're gonna look back and wish you'd done things different." That statement was far truer for John Stillman than he ever cared to admit.

Lilly glanced up in surprise, his words slicing, like an arrow, into that one part of her heart that wasn't walled off…the part that, though she tried to ignore its nagging voice, took issue with her "it's for the best" theory.

He pulled a file out of his briefcase and handed it to her. "Don't you usually bring these home with you?" he asked.

She nodded, not quite trusting her voice.

"Well, I'd like to bring in Shawn King tomorrow," Stillman explained. "But you might wanna take another look at the evidence tonight. Just check it over a little bit…make sure we're not gonna arrest the wrong guy. Innocent until proven guilty, right?" he finished with a smile.

She returned his smile with a small one of her own. "Thanks, Boss," she replied softly as she opened the door for him.

He smiled kindly at her once more and headed down the stairs.

_The case, _Lilly thought, as a wave of relief swept over her. That's why she'd felt unsettled. That's what hadn't been quite right with her universe. She hadn't had anything to work on, anything to keep her mind occupied. Work had always been her refuge, and with a smile and a contented sigh, she sat down at the table and spread the papers and photos out before her.

Take another look at the evidence, Boss had said. _Another look at what evidence_? Lilly combed the file through twice, and everything was cut and dried, at least, it was to the extent she could tell. She had to admit, to her chagrin, that her mind wasn't entirely on the case, but it was mostly there. She glanced through the interview reports, gritting her teeth against the sadness that surfaced when she found Scotty's notes, aggressively penned in that familiar scribble. _It's for the best._

The case seemed painfully obvious, all signs pointing to Shawn King as the doer. Lilly wracked her brain, glossing over all the glowing reports from Tim and Ann's co-workers about how perfect for each other they were, and looked at all the scientific evidence, the accident reconstructions, the technical aspects, that all pointed in one direction. Shawn King was their guy, no doubt about it. Ann's former fiancé had means, motive, and opportunity; the only unanswered question was why he waited four years to kill Tim after he'd murdered Ann.

So what evidence could Stillman possibly have been talking about? This was one of the most clear-cut cases they'd ever worked…what wasn't she seeing?

Lilly's thoughts were interrupted by something warm and furry rubbing against her leg, and she glanced down, expecting to find that Olivia had joined her, but the cat looking up at her and meowing plaintively was Tripod, instead. She seemed to want Lilly to pick her up, which came as a surprise, but Tripod seemed insistent, so Lilly bent down and raised her cat up onto her lap.

"What am I missing, kitty?" Lilly asked rhetorically as she glanced through the folder again. "Innocent until proven guilty…" she mused.

Turning her attention to Tripod, she glanced down and asked, "And how come you're letting me pick you up? You don't let anybody pick you up."

Tripod cocked her head and looked at Lilly expectantly.

"Well, most people…" Lilly replied softly, and that caused a memory to surface, a memory of the night when they'd gotten back from New York and Scotty had awkwardly picked up Tripod and cuddled her for a while. Her mind's eye could see her snuggling with Scotty on the couch as they had been that night, watching the snow fall, blissfully content and nearly asleep, and she was thoroughly unprepared for the intensity of the pain which washed over her in a wave.

_It's for the best._

She averted her eyes from the sofa and glanced into the kitchen, where she suddenly saw Scotty leaning nonchalantly against the counter, that trademark flirty grin spreading across his face.

_Dammit, it's for the best._

She turned her eyes back to the case, desperate to rein her mind back in to the task at hand, but despite her best efforts, she could still smell that aftershave he always wore, could still feel the firmness of his lips, the strength of his arms around her, the heat of his body pressed against hers…

_It's for the best. It's for the best, _she repeated to herself, suddenly unable to breathe. Panic was overwhelming her and the walls were starting to close in. Reminders of Scotty were crowding all around, nearly suffocating her.

With a frustrated sigh, Lilly realized that there was no way she could get any work done. Not now. Not anymore. Her concentration hadn't been in peak form to begin with, but now, seeing Scotty everywhere she turned…no way in hell was she going to be able to find whatever it was Stillman thought she should be looking for. Suddenly, she angrily swept the case file to the floor, ignoring the fluttering of pages as they floated through the air, and buried her head in her hands.

At the commotion, Olivia glanced up from the couch and meowed curiously, and Lilly rose from her seat suddenly, depositing Tripod on the floor. This was far more difficult than she'd ever expected it to be, and she had to get out of there before the memories overwhelmed her completely.

Frantically wrapping her coat around herself as she cast a reassuring glance in Olivia's direction, she tossed her pet a brief explanation. "Sorry sweetie…I just gotta get some air."

Grabbing her keys, she set out briskly into the rainy night, not really knowing or caring where she went, and she soon found herself several blocks from her home in a slightly unfamiliar neighborhood. Only then did she slow her pace.

Brushing her dampened bangs out of her eyes with a sigh, Lilly remembered the last time she'd been out for a late-night walk. It was several months earlier, when Joseph had said he loved her, then split when she'd needed closure with Ray. Memories of that night sprang to mind, unbidden, and, though they still hurt, she found that the ache had lessened over the months, and now she almost welcomed them, grateful for a reprieve from the wrenching pain she was starting to feel about Scotty.

Ray was the only man who'd ever made her feel safe. Lilly laughed at the irony of that, considering that Ray was a biker and a drinker. He lived dangerously, but her heart had been safe with him, because he already knew her. They'd grown up together, lived on the same block, and hiding behind walls was utterly useless with him. He'd seen all the crap she'd been dragged through, there wasn't any point in denying it. And none of that mattered to Ray. He'd had his own baggage to deal with, which meant he didn't care that much about hers. They were cut from the same cloth, he used to say, and he'd have been perfectly happy to marry her at nineteen.

But something had stopped Lilly from taking the plunge that hot August day in Knoxville. She knew she wanted more out of life than what her mother had settled for; marriage and pregnancy as a teenager, so devastated when her husband walked out that she'd turned to the bottle for comfort and never looked back. Lilly had a normal life once; she could only remember glimpses, but she remembered one or two happy memories; memories of both her mom and her dad, loving, happy. Her mother had never recovered from the loss of her one great love, had welcomed an endless parade of men into her heart and into her bed, and Lilly knew she didn't want the same thing to happen to her.

Was Ray that one great love? There was a time when Lilly thought he was, but she knew now, from the perspective of adulthood, that he wasn't. Not really. He was only interested in who she used to be; the free spirit who'd hop on the back of a bike and ride wherever the wind took them. She still had some of that inside her, she supposed, but mostly, she'd grown out of it.

And he hadn't.

He still wanted her to be who she was when she was nineteen.

So when she'd gone to the hospital that night to say goodbye, she'd not only said goodbye to Ray, but to the person she had been. The person who ran from her problems at the drop of a hat. She knew she didn't want to run away anymore.

And Ray had left. Gone to California, and Lilly hadn't had so much as a postcard. Not that she was surprised. After their kiss in the hospital, she'd known it was goodbye, and she was both relieved and saddened that he seemed to have understood that as well.

She'd walked all night then, too, fighting with every ounce of her willpower the urge to run back to that hospital, hop on the back of Ray's bike, and just disappear forever, but she knew she'd regret leaving her job, leaving her life, leaving the person she'd become.

Besides, there was Joseph. Tall, handsome, caring, sensitive Joseph. He'd loved her. _Yeah...definitely_, he'd said with a grin, and that had thrown her for a serious loop. One minute, he was teasing her about donuts, and the next minute, he was saying he loved her? He'd caught her completely off guard. She'd had no idea he felt that way about her, and absolutely no idea what to say in return.

Those three fateful words were the real crossroads of a relationship, Lilly mused. You could be happy and carefree one minute, and the next minute having to make a decision that could affect the rest of your life. "I love you" meant the guy expected certain things from you, expected you to not cut and run the moment things got tough. Which caused a bitter laugh to spill from Lilly's lips, because when people said it to her, that usually signified they were about to cut and run themselves.

Ultimately, Joseph had proven no different…because she couldn't promise him forever. She couldn't even promise him more than a few weeks. She'd been happy with things the way they were. But Joseph expected something from her. Something besides sex and conversation. He'd wanted…her.

The one thing she couldn't give him.

And so he'd left. He'd turned his back and walked away, just like so many others had. The moment he left, Lilly felt her heart shatter into a million pieces, despite her best efforts to protect it, and she'd suddenly been a six-year-old girl, pleading for her daddy not to leave her.

_I don't want to be alone, _she'd called after him, the tears threatening to spill over.

Joseph had turned, looked at her, and fixed her with that "I'm a counselor" look.

_Maybe you do_, he'd said softly.

And then he'd walked away.

Just like everyone else.

She felt the old bitterness surfacing, but before she could act on it, she was startled to hear a cheerful, almost musical voice behind her. "Lilly, right?"

Cop instincts momentarily overtaking her depression and confusion, she whirled around, hand on her gun.

The interloper raised both hands with a chuckle, and in the dim streetlights, Lilly could make out a dazzling smile. "My bad…I forgot you're a cop, too," the woman said, and Lilly was dumbfounded as she realized who stood before her.

"Rosalia?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah…just on my way back from teaching," she explained. "Do you live around here?" she inquired, her dark brows knitting together in confusion as she tried to figure out what the hell Scotty's girlfriend was doing out wandering around by herself this late at night. Where the hell was that two-bit punk, anyway?

"No…" Lilly said finally. "Just…out for a walk." She tried to keep her tone light, but Rosalia detected the slightest hint of wavering in that normally strong voice.

"In the rain? At this time of night?" Rosalia peered into Lilly's blue eyes, searching them. "You okay?" she asked with concern.

"Fine," Lilly replied brusquely and tried to brush past, but Rosalia blocked her.

Rolling her eyes, she commented, "Look, I don't know you, like, at all, but I know Scotty's a crap liar, and you…you're just about as bad as he is."

Lilly glanced up at Rosalia incredulously. Never, in her entire life, had someone she barely knew been so bold with her. Well, outside the interview room, anyway. Most of the time, Lilly realized, her defenses would instantly be up, but she was so battle-weary today that she didn't think she had any walls left.

"Lilly?" Rosalia pressed.

"It's Scotty…" Lilly finally said, the mere utterance of the name bringing a fresh wave of pain.

Rosalia was instantly alarmed. "What happened?" she asked quickly. "Is he okay?"

Lilly shook her head slowly. "I…I don't think so," she replied softly. "Not after today."

Her dark eyes flashing, Rosalia flipped a chestnut curl over her shoulder and whipped out her phone. "If that mother-lovin' idiot went and got himself shot, I swear to God I'll kick his ass…" she began heatedly, as she started to dial his number.

"No…no, it's not that," Lilly replied quickly, reaching out a hand to stop her, and Rosalia stopped dialing her phone and slowly flipped it closed as realization dawned on her.

"Oh, my God…you broke up…" Rosalia breathed, her dark eyes widening. Lilly merely nodded in response.

Rosalia glanced at the blonde before her and realized she was soaked to the skin. "You're gonna make yourself sick," she said firmly, almost maternally, and without waiting for Lilly's assent, she grabbed the taller woman by the elbow and firmly guided her underneath the glass cover of a bus stop, where she shook the rain out of her umbrella and sat down on the bench next to Lilly.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice full of warmth and kindness.

"He…he said he loves me," Lilly said sadly, tears filling her eyes.

"And you got issues with that?" Rosalia asked with a smile.

Lilly didn't trust her voice, so she merely nodded.

"What kinda issues?" Rosalia pressed gently.

Lilly's head snapped up in surprise. Rosalia had that same infuriating, unnerving ability to break through her walls that Scotty did. Not the same tactics, as Rosalia was far gentler and less aggressive than Scotty could ever hope to be, but the result was the same. She shuddered to think what the two of them could do together in an interrogation.

"I don't…_do_…relationships," Lilly said finally.

"Looks to me like you do 'em just fine," Rosalia grinned without missing a beat. "I ain't seen Scotty so happy in ages."

Lilly couldn't respond, and Rosalia, after a pause, placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, she realized what the issue was. Someone, long ago, probably several someones, had hurt Lilly, and Scotty, unfortunately, seemed to be reaping the harvest of what those jackasses had sown.

"Look, I've known Scotty since preschool, and…he can be a real stupid-ass sometimes, but I don't think he'd hurt you on purpose," she began with a tentative smile.

"That's just it," Lilly replied, the words flooding forth before she could stop them. "Nobody ever _means _to hurt me…but they always do anyway."

_Jackpot, _Rosalia thought with an inward smile_._ "So who hurt you, Lilly?" she asked softly.

Lilly laughed mirthlessly. "Who didn't? My mom, my dad, my sister, Patrick, Joseph…take your pick."

Rosalia didn't even blink, and Lilly was dumbfounded.

"So what did Scotty do to you?" Rosalia asked knowingly.

"Nothing…yet." Lilly answered.

"But you think he'll leave you like all the rest," Rosalia surmised. "And you think by breakin' it off now, that you can keep that from happening."

Lilly could only stare in disbelief. _Damn, she's good. _Forget Rosalia and Scotty working together, Lilly realized with horror, as a far more disturbing team sprang to mind: Rosalia Moreno and Kat Miller. Lilly tossed up a fervent prayer that those two would never, ever have a chance to meet. There would be absolutely no hiding from that combination. Ever.

"I don't wanna meddle where I don't belong," Rosalia began. "And I don't wanna talk you into somethin' you don't wanna do. If you don't love him, well…then…you don't. But I know he loves you, and Scotty…he puts on a front, he'd make you think his black book is the size of the Philly Yellow Pages…but really? He's the kinda guy that stays."

Lilly didn't say anything, couldn't say anything, and Rosalia took that as assent to keep going.

"What has he told you about Elisa?" she asked softly.

Lilly blinked in surprise. What the hell did Elisa have to do with any of this? "Not a lot…" she answered slowly. "He told me they'd been together for a while, and then she got sick. Most of what I know was…after…" she trailed off.

Rosalia picked up where Lilly left off. "But what he didn't tell you was that he was there for her the whole time. When she first got sick, she tried to push him away…and he dated a little bit, went out with a few girls, but none of them ever brought that sparkle to his eyes. He didn't ever let it get serious with them, 'cause deep down, he always kinda had that hope, ya know?"

Lilly nodded.

"And Scotty…" Rosalia chuckled, with a slight roll of her dark eyes, "…well, he's pretty damn stubborn…and after he went out with a few girls, I think he realized Elisa was the one he wanted to be with, and he came back and told her that he wasn't goin' nowhere. Had the diamond ring to prove it."

Lilly's eyes widened at this. _Diamond ring_? She hadn't known Scotty and Elisa were engaged.

Rosalia continued, her voice wistful and faraway. "And he stayed. He took her to doctor after doctor…fought off her giants, made sure she took her meds…put up with her mood swings; never knew what he was gonna get with her, whether it was gonna be a good day or a bad day. It wore on him, I knew that, but I never heard him complain. She was his girl, and he was gonna be there for her come hell or high water. Scotty's got more strength than anybody I know. That boy deserves a medal."

Lilly was touched. She'd known about Elisa, but Scotty had never really talked about it. Not at all. She wasn't surprised, really. She knew he wasn't in it for the glory. He just wanted to do right by her, and she knew he blamed himself for her death…she knew that, despite all he'd done for so many years, he viewed Elisa as perhaps his worst failure.

Rosalia continued, and Lilly could hear the tears in her voice without even glancing over at her. "And then when Elisa found out it wasn't gonna get better…that broke his heart. I mean, sure, when she died, that messed him up real good, but the real damage, I think…that was before. Scotty's the kinda guy who wants to fix everything, he wants to save the world…he's kinda like Don Quixote. And this…he couldn't fix it, and when he realized it…" she trailed off.

"Anyway," She continued, her voice suddenly brightening. "I ain't seen that sparkle in his eyes since Elisa was well. And that's been a long, long time. He's not gonna leave you, Lilly. I don't wanna talk you into somethin' you don't wanna do, 'cause Scotty deserves somebody who loves him like he loves her…and if you don't, then you're makin' the right call. But if you do…you got nothin' to worry about. Oh, God knows Scotty ain't perfect. He might hurt you, he'll probably say stupid stuff from time to time; he might yell and throw things, but…he's not gonna leave."

Having said her piece, she rose to go. "You gonna be okay? Want me to call you a cab?"

Lilly shook her head. "Thanks, Rosalia," she added softly.

"I'm rootin' for you two," she said with a dazzling smile, then disappeared into the night, the clicking of her heels receding into the distance.

Lilly sat there on the bus stop bench, Rosalia's words tumbling over one another in her mind. Scotty didn't leave Elisa…not willingly, anyway.

Suddenly, Stillman's words came back to her mind. _Innocent until proven guilty, right?_ In a flash, she realized that the hours she'd spent poring over the case hadn't been what her boss had meant at all. He hadn't been talking about the case…he'd been talking about Scotty. Maybe he didn't know he was talking about Scotty…but he was telling her to look at the evidence. Had Scotty ever hurt her? Was she punishing the wrong guy?

Surely not. Surely she wasn't doing that. She was protecting her heart, not punishing Scotty. But, as a detective, she knew she needed to look at all the evidence, and she gingerly tested memories as they sprang to mind, trying to see how much pain they would bring, sort of like those first tentative steps on an injured ankle, and she discovered, with a sense of relief, that she could look at things objectively. Her goal was to look at the evidence and find some reason, some solid, concrete reason, why breaking up with Scotty had been the right thing, so that nagging little voice would shut up, and maybe she could get some sleep.

Rising to her feet and starting to walk back toward her apartment, Lilly decided to start on safe ground, when they first met, before any of the rest of it. He'd been cocky. Obnoxious and overeager, like a yappy little dog. Incredulous that she'd give up being on the line to dig through dusty boxes and solve murders people had long ago forgotten about. But…Scotty hadn't left. He was her partner, that was his job, so cold cases it was for him. He'd stayed…reluctantly at first, but he'd stayed. And he'd grown to love it, she knew, almost as much as she did. She saw that satisfied look in his eyes when they gave justice to a family who'd been denied it for years, sometimes decades. She knew he felt like what they did mattered. She knew he'd found his calling.

_Try again, Rush_, the voice said, almost mockingly.

The Joseph mess sprang to mind, and she realized, with some chagrin, that Scotty was the only one who'd stood by her side, who'd even tried to understand. _I get the…messed-up affections thing. Believe me_, he'd said. He'd delivered the perfect mixture of gentle chastisement and friendly encouragement, and his sympathetic glances the next day when she'd been called on the carpet in Stillman's office had meant the world to her. Nobody else had understood…but Scotty had.

_Got anything else? _The voice asked, almost tauntingly.

Lilly played her trump card: Christina. But, she realized with a start…even when she'd been the Ice Queen while Scotty was whoring it out with her sister…he was there. He'd never stopped being her partner, he'd never done anything except to question why she was so upset, which, she now realized with the perspective of time, had been a legitimate inquiry. And when Christina took off, Scotty had apologized to her. He'd swallowed his pride and tried to repair their friendship. She'd known he threatened George that night, and she'd seen the utter relief in his eyes when she emerged from the woods.

With defeat, she was forced to admit that Scotty had been the best friend and partner she ever could have asked for.

_Okay,_ the voice said. _Now let's look at the relationship._

This would be harder, Lilly knew. It would involve plumbing recent memories, memories that would sting her heart with guilt for hurting Scotty the way she had. She remembered Nashville, which seemed so long ago. He'd been patient with her when they got back…well, as patient as a hurt and frustrated man could possibly have been. He hadn't insisted, even though she knew he wanted it as badly as she did. That night in her kitchen when she'd actually admitted to him that she was scared, he'd been so gentle with her…he'd promised her they'd get through this together, no matter what happened.

Another memory sprang to mind, this one of their first date, when he'd been teaching her to salsa dance, and she'd been so uptight. He'd finally looked deep into her eyes, flashed her a brilliant smile, and told her she had to relax and trust him. And those things, somehow, she'd been able to do…and she'd had the time of her life, she had to admit. Lilly realized, with horror, that the look she'd seen in Scotty's eyes that night…the tenderness, the infinite depth, the warmth…that was exactly the same way he'd looked at her that afternoon, when he'd told her he loved her.

Lilly flipped frantically through other memories, and realized that he'd been looking at her that way far longer than she thought. Every happy memory she had with him was accentuated by that look, that expression on his face, the gentleness in his hands…even when things got rough, there was always that underlying current of…love, she realized.

_So that's what love is supposed to look like. _

In a flash, she measured all the men of her past, and found them sorely lacking. Patrick had claimed to love her, but had cheated on her with her sister. Ray had claimed to love her, but had taken off. Joseph had claimed to love her, but he'd left her, too.

Scotty had claimed to love her…and had done absolutely nothing but live up to that claim for a solid month. And the years before that, even before he claimed to love her…he'd been her constant. He'd been by her side through it all.

Her heart sinking to the ground, Lilly was forced to stop, right there on the street, and realize, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Scotty loved her. He wasn't just talking about it. He wasn't playing games. He actually, genuinely loved her, and he'd been demonstrating it with his actions far longer than he'd been saying it with his words.

Tears stung her eyes for the umpteenth time that night, and she finally gave in to them. She couldn't have held them back if she'd wanted to. The salsa dancing. The trip to New York. The fight about Christina, and the way they'd dealt with it. The football game. The pancakes. The countless little glances they'd stolen in the squad room. The flowers. First Thursdays. The smiles. The laughter. The way she'd been happier the last month than she'd ever been in her life.

Her head was spinning with the enormity of it, and she suddenly realized that…she'd convicted Scotty for a crime he didn't commit.

Stumbling through the door with a sob, she tossed her keys on the table and was instantly greeted by her two cats, who ignored the fact that she was soaked to the skin as they rubbed against her legs. But Lilly couldn't help noticing that Tripod kept looking behind her…kept peering out into the rainy night, waiting for someone.

Waiting for Scotty, Lilly knew, and that made the tears flow even more. Tripod, she realized…Tripod wasn't the only one. What she wouldn't give to see him walk through the front door, toss her that heart-melting smile, wrap her in his arms, and whisper reassurances into her hair as he held her tight.

"I miss him, too," she choked out as she sank down on the sofa, Olivia in her arms. Missing him more than she ever thought possible, she cried for what felt like hours, the pain nearly unbearable in its intensity.

_There's a chance…this isn't for the best_, she thought mournfully, as she fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

**A/N: A special thank you to Collider, who graciously beta-read sections of this, and to ZoeImZuri, who gave me the idea for Stillman's visit.**


	34. Cold, Cold Heart

**Disclaimer: Mine they are not. Own them I don't. Control them I can't.**

**Chapter Thirty-Four: Cold, Cold Heart**

_Another love before my time  
Made your heart sad and blue  
And so my heart is paying now  
For things I didn't do_

_In anger unkind words are said  
That make the teardrops start  
Why can't I free your doubtful mind  
And melt your cold, cold heart?_

* * *

Lilly's sleep was fitful, helped not at all by the fact that she was on the living room couch. Truth be told, it wasn't all that comfortable, and the cats kept waking up at frequent intervals to change positions and knead Lilly's stomach with their paws. As Olivia finished a couple laps of Lilly's abdomen and settled down on top of her once more, Lilly knew, with a chagrined sigh, that she'd be far more comfortable in her bed…but she just couldn't face her bedroom. Not yet. Not with all the memories that swirled around that room. She was still seeing Scotty everywhere she turned, haunted by his memory and aching for his presence, and she knew that the bedroom would make it that much worse. She knew, without even climbing the stairs, that the second she entered that room, she'd smell his aftershave on her pillowcases, see the discarded T-shirt he'd forgotten to take with him the last night he'd stayed over, catch glimpses of him lying on the bed casting her one of those smoldering glances.

Lilly sighed again. She'd have to go up there eventually, she knew. Have to shower and get ready for work. But maybe…maybe in the daylight…maybe then it wouldn't be so painful.

As Lilly tried in vain to get comfortable, Rosalia's words echoed around the chamber of her mind. _If you don't love him, then you're making the right call_. _But if you do…you got nothin' to worry about._

Scotty loved her, she knew that deep in her bones. But…did she love Scotty?

After pondering the question for a few minutes, Lilly realized, with a start, that she was afraid to know the answer.

Not loving him would be painful to face, certainly. She'd hate seeing that wounded look in his eyes, hate watching him move on, hate losing the happiness they'd had the last few weeks, but…she'd survived breakups before, and she'd survive this one. She'd be on her own. As lonely as she was, Lilly was forced to admit that being alone was at least comfortable. It wasn't pleasant, but it was safe.

But _loving_ Scotty…that was uncharted territory. Loving him meant that she'd have more decisions to make. Decisions about her job…decisions about her life. Decisions about letting someone into the places in her heart she'd long ago walled off, about opening herself to the possibility that she'd be hurt again. Loving Scotty meant she'd have to commit to not panic at the drop of a hat, to stop running away, to stop pretending and be real with him. Scotty deserved nothing less, she knew.

She was convinced of Scotty's love for her, so that wasn't the problem anymore…as Lilly continued to try and sort through the jumbled thoughts in her head, she realized that she couldn't quite put her finger on the real issue; didn't know exactly why she was wrestling with this. But...she was wrestling with it just the same.

One thing Lilly knew she needed was time. With a sigh, she turned over and bunched the pillow against her cheek, resolving to talk to Scotty first thing in the morning, to see if perhaps he'd be willing to hold off on the "I love yous" for a bit longer until she figured things out. She'd come around, in time, if she loved him…and if she didn't…well, at least she'd know. And he'd know. And maybe, knowing would make losing each other a second time not hurt so damn much.

_Just gotta talk to him, _she told herself firmly, and as she fell asleep once more, Lilly hoped to God he'd listen.

* * *

The next morning, Vera rounded the corner, having just poured himself a fresh mug of coffee, and almost ran smack into Scotty.

"Mornin', Scotty," Vera said cautiously, peering into his colleague's bloodshot eyes. He looked like crap. Not that Vera was the least bit surprised.

"Mornin'," Scotty returned without enthusiasm.

Vera handed Scotty his coffee. "Looks like you need this more than I do," he remarked casually.

Scotty took the mug with a slight smile of thanks and sipped it gratefully. "Better," he stated simply.

"You okay today?" Vera asked, his brow creasing with concern.

"I think so," Scotty replied weakly. "Listen…about last night…"

"Don't mention it," Vera returned with a shrug. "Was the least we could do."

Scotty met Vera's eyes briefly. "Thanks for that," he said softly with a slight nod. He started to leave, then paused and turned back toward his co-worker. Seeing Vera was starting to bring back a couple of memories of the night before, and Scotty hoped to God he was dreaming them up.

"How…big of a jackass did I make out of myself last night?" Scotty asked hesitantly with a slight, almost embarrassed grin, not sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

Vera smirked. "Pretty big, I'd say," he replied honestly.

Scotty's brow furrowed as more memories surfaced. _Oh, God. Please…not that…_

"Was…was there…did I…_sing_?" he asked.

Vera chuckled. "If you wanna call it that…yeah. Country, no less. Didn't know you had it in you," he smirked.

_Dammit. _Scotty winced at the memory. "Sorry about that," he apologized again, a sheepish look in his dark eyes. "Guess it was pretty bad, huh?"

"You should try out for American Idol," Vera replied with an enthusiastic smile as he gave Scotty a pat on the back. "Give William Hung a real run for his money."

Scotty smiled slightly in response, then turned and started to progress slowly through the squad room.

Vera headed back toward the kitchen to get himself another mug of coffee and a donut. Returning with his morning snack, he paused in front of Miller's desk, where Kat was shrugging out of her coat.

"Mornin'," he greeted her around his mouthful of pastry. "Seen Lil yet?" he asked, glancing around the room.

Kat glared at him briefly, but didn't mention the donut. Her mind was on other things. "Nah, guess she's still on her way in. How's Valens holdin' up?" she asked, draping her coat over the back of her chair.

Vera sighed. "You don't wanna know," he answered.

"What the hell happened with those two, anyway?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

Vera shrugged. "Somethin' about him bein' in love with her and her havin' issues with that…hell, I dunno. All I know is, that boy is somethin' else when he's drunk."

Miller arched a brow. "How so?" she asked, suspicious of the mischievous glint in Vera's eyes.

Vera leaned closer to her and whispered conspiratorially. "He sings."

"Sings?" Miller repeated. "Like that time you two jackasses sang the theme to "Cops" in front of God and everybody at First Thursdays?" she asked with a grin.

Vera glared at her. "That sure as hell wasn't our idea," he retorted.

A proud smirk Miller's only response, she then turned the conversation back to Scotty. "So he sings even when it's not a dare? What…what does he sing?" she asked warily.

"Country, if you can believe that," Vera replied, trying to suppress a grin. It wasn't funny, really it wasn't…and yet…it was.

"Oh, good Lord," Miller replied as she saw Scotty heading toward Stillman's office, hunched over, avoiding everyone's eyes, and sipping coffee from Vera's Hooters mug as though the bitter brew was the only thing keeping him standing upright. Even from several feet away, Scotty's pain was almost tangible. If she hadn't been Kat Miller, she would have crossed the room in about a step and given him a hug. And she knew that if he weren't Scotty Valens, he'd probably have let her.

"This is serious, Miller," Vera continued urgently. "Last time he was this bad…" he trailed off, shaking his head.

"What?" Miller asked, searching his eyes.

"Elisa," Vera muttered with a sigh as he sat down at his desk and took another bite of his donut.

_Elisa. _The name bounced off the walls of her mind, echoing in its depths. Elisa. Scotty's childhood sweetheart. Kat hadn't even known Scotty then, but word got around the department. She heard Elisa had jumped into the Schuylkill. And after that…she'd heard Scotty had gone haywire for a while, spiraling out of control in a vortex of booze and inappropriate women.

Miller gritted her teeth with determination. Valens sure as hell wasn't gonna do that this time around. Not on her watch. She'd make damn sure of it.

* * *

Scotty continued to make his way gingerly through the squad room, feeling just as exposed, just as much the target of everyone's piercing gaze, as he had the day he went back to West to collect Elisa's stuff. It had felt like a funeral march then, and it was no less so now, helped not at all by his raging hangover. The fluorescent lights of the office were like a thousand knives into his eyes, and every noise was magnified as though through a loudspeaker.

_Wouldn't even be here if it weren't for that goddamn Will Jeffries, _he grumbled inwardly. Having awoken that morning with the pain of his sore muscles and pounding headache waging a fierce battle for supremacy with his broken heart, he'd staggered into the kitchen to find Jeffries still in his apartment, calmly making coffee as though he friggin' _lived _there. He'd given Scotty a reassuring smile and handed him a couple of aspirin and a glass of water, but that hadn't stopped Scotty from practically begging his colleague to let him call in sick. Jeffries, however, had decided the tough love approach had more merit, and had, to Scotty's chagrin, flatly refused his request. "You gotta face her sometime, man," he'd said, and Scotty was forced to admit he was right. _Might as well do it today and get it the hell over with, _Scotty had mused.

Jeffries hadn't quite been able to stop Scotty from bringing a flask full of Southern Comfort to work, though. He'd gone off to take a shower, and Scotty had stumbled toward the bureau, flask in hand, only to discover that all his liquor was missing. At first, he'd thought maybe Vera had run off with it, but then he'd glanced up and spied his entire booze collection on top of the fridge. Muttering a string of highly colorful obscenities, he'd ignored the screaming protest of the overused muscles in his legs, stretched up to retrieve his beverage of choice, filled his flask, and hidden it in his coat pocket just as he heard the water in the shower stop running. He'd then dragged his feet through his own shower, taking far longer than normal, hoping Jeffries would lose patience and leave without him, but no such luck. Minutes later, they headed down the stairs, Jeffries cheerfully tossing the keys to himself, the jangle adding insult to the injury of Scotty's, headache, gotten in the car, and driven to work, Jeffries smiling contentedly while Scotty glared sullenly out the window and dreamed up shockingly elaborate plans for revenge.

Work. For the first time in his entire law enforcement career, that was the last place Scotty wanted to be. Before, when his relationships ended, he could bury himself in the latest case, could distract himself with the fact that he was doing some actual good, that while he might not be able to fix his own fucked-up life, maybe he could give some peace to someone else's. It was also a comfort to know that somewhere, someone's life sucked more than his. At least he still had one. Despite the fact that his life was shit, at least someone hadn't bashed his head in with a baseball bat or shoved him down the stairs. He could be doing a lot worse.

But now…now, the one he was trying to forget was his partner. Soon-to-be ex-partner, he reminded himself…ex-girlfriend, ex-lover, ex-friend, ex-a lot of things. They were bringing in Shawn King today, and Scotty figured that, with any luck at all, he could get this bastard to cop to both murders, fill out the final report, and then get the hell out of the office and use his accrued vacation time to spend the next two weeks holed up in his apartment, ducking phone calls, skipping rope, and figuring out what he was going to do with the rest of his life.

Clutching Vera's coffee mug, he headed straight for Stillman's office, ignoring Miller's sympathetic greeting. Once inside, he fished the sealed envelope containing his transfer request out of his coat pocket. Scotty had decided on transferring somewhere between the aspirin and the car ride with Jeffries, figuring that leaving Philadelphia entirely wasn't the answer. Lilly would haunt him wherever he went, he reasoned; at least in Philly, he had his friends, he had his family, he had his life. Oh, sure, he'd be changing jobs, but he'd still be home, still be in the place where he grew up, where he knew people, and they knew him. He realized that staying meant he was bound to encounter Lilly from time to time; as long as they were both cops, he was sure that would happen, but it just wasn't worth it to pull up stakes and move entirely. Not yet, anyway. That seemed like overkill. He'd try the transferring thing first, he decided, and if that didn't work…well…he'd always heard good things about California.

He glanced around for Stillman, but apparently Boss wasn't in yet, because the office was empty. Scotty sighed and held the envelope in his hand for a moment, thinking that maybe, just maybe...there was a small chance he was overreacting.

_I love you…_

_I can't…_

Pain stabbed his soul as the words of their exchange echoed in his mind. Nope. Not overreacting. Not in the least.

Scotty dropped the letter on the desk with a soft, papery slap_, _then stood there for a moment, just listening to the dull roar of his heart in his ears, the ever-present bustle of the squad room, and the irritating buzz of the fluorescent lights. He expected quitting his job to bring relief, disappointment, rage, sorrow, bitterness, something, _anything_…but felt nothing except a cold numbness and the dull throbbing of his head.

Well, that was that. He took another sip of coffee, turned around…

…and found himself face to face with Lilly.

She looked startled to see him, looked like she'd been deep in thought, probably about the case, Scotty figured bitterly, and hadn't even really considered where she was or what she was doing. Her eyes widened, like a deer caught in headlights, and he could see her pulse pounding at the base of her throat.

"Scotty, I…" she started.

"Don't," he replied tersely, the mere sight of her causing the cold numbness to rapidly give way to the searing heat of anger. "I was just leavin'," he added, reveling in the double meaning of the words he'd just uttered.

Lilly's heart beat frantically as she took in Scotty's appearance. He looked terrible. His skin was pale and his eyes were bloodshot, hollow with pain, and ringed with dark circles. He looked like he had that first day he came back to work after Elisa's suicide.

"I…I was just comin' in to see Boss about the case," Lilly said nervously.

_Of course it's about the case. God forbid Lilly Rush ever think about anything else, _Scotty griped inwardly.

"Yeah, well, he ain't here," he barked. He'd been fine…just fine…until he saw Lilly. Seeing her crystallized all the pain from the night before, along with his hangover, into a smoldering orb of rage forming in the center of his chest. His self-blame disappeared, at least for the moment, now that he had a target.

Lilly's breath caught in her throat when she saw his eyes. They had darkened to two pieces of obsidian, glinting with something she'd never seen there before, at least, not when he looked at her.

"Scotty," she said again. "We really should…talk…about this…"

"I got nothin' to say to you," Scotty snapped angrily.

Lilly's eyes widened in shock. "I just…I wish we could go back to the way things were," she said softly.

Scotty laughed, a dry mirthless chuckle. _Go back to the way things were? Bein' "just friends?" Pretendin' like none of this ever happened, pretendin' like I ain't gonna dream about you every night, pretendin' like I don't wanna spend the rest of my life with you?_

"Go back? I fuckin' fell in love with you, Lil," he flung bitterly as he felt his blood beginning to simmer. "There ain't no goin' back from that."

"Scotty, you don't understand…" she protested. _I want to go back to the way things were, before yesterday, before I panicked, before I ran away, when we were still happy…I just need some time to figure out if I can do this…_

"Save it, Rush," he ordered tersely.

"We can get through this," Lilly insisted, almost plaintively. "Scotty, it's..it's _us_."

Scotty was incredulous, and his anger reached its boiling point. _Us? Does she actually think there's a chance in hell we can go back from this? That woman's got a lotta nerve thinkin' we can ever be in the same room again. Oh, sure, it's gonna be easy for her, it looks like…does she not get it at all?_

"Us?" Scotty spat out the word like it was rancid, then laughed again. "There ain't no _us_, Lil. Not anymore."

He glanced up into her cornflower blue eyes and saw the pain radiating from them. His heart softened for the merest of instants, but the rage took over, and he clenched his jaw with satisfaction as he glared in her direction. _You hurt her? Good. Now she knows how it feels._

The hurt in Lilly's eyes quickly gave way to anger of her own, and her gaze suddenly hardened as she slipped behind her icy mask. For a moment, Scotty idly wondered how she got so damn good at that. Was it a class she took in school? Did she practice in front of a mirror at home?

"I should have known," she said bitterly, folding her arms across her chest.

Despite his burning desire to get the hell out of that room, to get on with his workday and never, ever see her again, Scotty couldn't help but be curious. "Shoulda known what?" he asked.

"I should have known you'd be just like everybody else," Lilly replied, her words encased in ice and barely above a whisper. "I should have known that your whole, 'We'll get through this together, no matter what,' was just another bullshit empty promise from someone who claimed to care about me."

Scotty flinched as though he'd been slapped, but instead of the hurt Lilly expected to see in his eyes, she saw nothing but pure anger and a bit of…contempt. Hoping to hide the searing pain she felt as her hopes shattered like glass, she glared at him for a moment, then brushed past him and stormed out into the squad room, ignoring the sting of tears behind her eyes.

* * *

**A/N: Like I said, I can't control these characters. All I can do is hope to fix their mess!**

_Public Service Announcement: Here in the USA, it is National Police Week. Please take a moment to express your gratitude for these brave men and women who risk their lives every day to keep us safe, and to say a prayer for their protection._


	35. Thinkin' Problem

**A/N: Sorry for the cliff-hanger last chapter. Well...kind of. :)**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. But the more I write these characters, the more I wish they were.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Thinkin' Problem**

A few minutes later, a still-seething Lilly sat at her desk, finishing up some paperwork, her eyes glued to the forms as though she were trying to memorize their every last detail. Better that than look up. She could feel Scotty sitting a mere few feet away from her, could feel the heat of his anger still radiating from him in waves. The awkwardness and tension between them was painfully obvious, and she could sense the curious eyes of her co-workers boring holes into her, but she never looked up from her desk. Looking up meant she'd see Scotty, and seeing Scotty was bad. She'd learned that the hard way.

And she just couldn't bear seeing that look he'd given her in Stillman's office. Not again. As much as those words he'd hurled at her had stung, the hard, cold look in his eyes had hurt far worse. Less than twenty-four hours earlier, he'd looked at her with such warmth and tenderness, his dark eyes shining with love, and now…now those same eyes were almost black with bitterness and glittering with contempt. She knew she'd hurt him the day before, and she was fully prepared for Scotty's patented wounded puppy look. She hadn't been looking forward to it in the least, of course, but she'd been prepared for it. This, though…there was no way for her to prepare for this. Lilly tried her best to fight the angry tears that filled her eyes and blurred the lines of the paperwork she was trying to complete.

Purposeful footsteps tapped their way into the squad room, and Lilly knew without even looking up that Stillman had come in. He greeted the detectives, paused briefly, then asked, "Lil…did you take a look at that evidence last night?"

She didn't look up, didn't trust herself to speak, so she just nodded. _Fat lot of good it did_, she fumed inwardly. _I spend the entire night convincing myself that Scotty loves me, and he goes and does THAT? There's your evidence._

"Good," Stillman replied matter-of-factly, oblivious to Lilly's inner turmoil. "Then you and Scotty go round up Shawn King and bring him in…see if maybe we can get a confession out of him today."

Scotty's head snapped up in alarm, while Lilly kept her eyes glued to the papers in front of her, hoping the curtain of her flaxen hair would disguise the fact that all the color was draining from her face. _Us? In the car? Together? Alone? After that? Oh, dear God…anything but that._

From her desk, Miller stopped in her tracks, her coffee cup halfway to her lips as she considered the tension that simmered awkwardly between her two colleagues. She didn't know precisely what had happened between the two of them in Stillman's office a few minutes before, but whatever it was, she knew it wasn't good. Those two were even worse off than they'd been when they came in. Scotty's eyes were flashing with fury, the muscle in his cheek was twitching…good God, he looked like he just wanted to strangle something. And Lilly…she glanced up just briefly then, and Kat saw, in the sapphire depths of Lilly's eyes, beneath the leftover sparks of anger, an ocean of pain.

Miller hastily looked around at Vera and Jeffries to see if they'd be any help, but Vera was still working on that damn donut and furiously clicking away at his computer keyboard, seemingly oblivious to the tension around him, and Jeffries cast her a slight smile and a glance that clearly said, _I dealt with him already this morning. It's your turn._

With a sigh, Miller looked briefly from Scotty to Lilly and back again. Those two seemed bound and determined to kill each other, she reasoned, and putting them in the car, alone together, was quite possibly the worst idea she'd heard since that day Veronica had wanted to go to preschool wearing nothing but a tutu and a smile. What the hell could Boss possibly be thinking?

Decision made in a flash, Miller quickly stepped in. "I'll go with Scotty, Boss. I think Lil's still a little under the weather today."

Lilly glanced at Kat gratefully and breathed a silent prayer of thanks for her colleague's intervention. She'd work the phones, fill out endless forms, do whatever grunt work Boss could come up with for her to do. _Anything_… as long as she didn't have to get into that car with Scotty.

Stillman studied Lilly carefully, then glanced from Kat to Scotty and back again, with an almost thoughtful expression on his face. After a moment, he nodded his assent. "Okay, Miller, he's all yours."

Scotty sighed shakily with relief and leaned back in his chair. The idea of being trapped in the car, alone with Lilly, after the conversation they'd just had...a chill ran down his spine and he shuddered involuntarily. That was the last place he wanted to be. Quickly, he rose from his seat, grabbed his coat, and headed out of the office without so much as a backward glance. With a slight, confident smile in Lilly's direction, Kat shrugged into her own coat and hurried to catch up with him.

The two didn't say much as they walked out to the parking lot, and Scotty hoped, as he pressed the button on the keychain and unlocked the doors of the car with an electronic beep, that perhaps that silence would continue. Talking was the last thing he wanted to do. He did much better not talking.

So focused was he on the not talking that he didn't notice that Kat had gracefully stepped between him and the driver's door. He glanced up in surprise to find her placing a hand on her hip and looking him up and down, studying him critically.

"What?" he demanded suspiciously, sick to death of getting the once-over from everyone he worked with. Except Kat wasn't looking at him like she felt sorry for him...she was...evaluating him. Sizing him up. Like the way his mom had eyed him when he was a teenager, trying to decide if she could believe his claim that car trouble really was the reason he'd gotten home an hour and a half past his curfew. Scotty couldn't decide, in his foggy, angry, miserable state, which stare he found more unnerving.

"Gimme the keys," Miller finally demanded, holding her hand out.

"What?" Scotty asked, in utter shock. He always drove. _Always._ Oh, sure, they'd all fought him on it at first, but they'd soon learned that it was a complete waste of everyone's time. He was the car guy, he was the one with the lead foot. He'd get them where they needed to go, and he'd get them there as fast as humanly possible. That was just how it was.

"Gimme the keys," Miller repeated, not moving an inch. No way in hell was she letting this angry, hung-over lunatic get behind the wheel of a car.

"Miller, I'm _fine_," Scotty insisted, fixing her with a look he hoped to God conveyed that message.

"Keys, Valens. Now. I'm driving," Miller said calmly.

They stared at each other for a moment, neither one backing down, but Scotty could see from the determination that glittered in his colleague's dark eyes that Kat wasn't going to budge on this. They could be standing there in that parking lot all day. For one idle moment, the idea appealed to him. Spending the day in the parking lot glaring at Kat would mean he didn't have to see Lilly, and that was always a bonus. But…he knew that, eventually, someone would come looking for them, and then they'd have even more questions to answer. Questions he just couldn't face.

Sighing in defeat, Scotty tossed her the keys, a bit more roughly than he'd intended, but she caught them easily without so much as a flinch and threw him a satisfied glance.

"Fine," he snapped, then realized, in a flash, one particular advantage of being the passenger. As Miller started to open her door, he quickly reached into his coat pocket, found his flask, quietly unscrewed the lid, and then took a hefty swig of Southern Comfort, relishing the burn of the liquor as it blazed its trail down his throat. Maybe, if he had enough…maybe he could forget what had just happened…could forget the last twenty-four hours…could forget that he'd ever even met Lilly Rush.

Kat glanced up, and what she saw before her absolutely flabbergasted her. Oh, sure, she knew that the boozing and the women were the classic Scotty Valens coping mechanisms, but she sure as hell hadn't expected all that crap to start this early. Oh, _hell _no. This was not happening again. She was not gonna just stand idly by and watch Scotty destroy his career, not to mention his liver, all because of…whatever had happened with Lil.

As Scotty lowered the flask, looking at her with a hint of defiance, Miller sprang into action. "What the_ hell_ do you think you're doin'?" she demanded, snatching the flask from his hand, causing some of the booze to splash out on the ground with a splat, which was quickly followed by another, much louder splat as she poured out the rest of the liquor, then tossed the flask over her shoulder. It landed several feet away, narrowly missing a squad car before clattering loudly to the pavement. Scotty was entirely too shocked to protest.

"It is _nine o'clock in the morning,_ Valens," she continued, her voice laced with both anger and shock. "You ain't drinkin' on the job, not on my watch. I don't give a rat's ass what your latest drama is, you have a job to do. A job that requires you to have your head on straight. Now, get your ass in the car. Now," she ordered.

"Yes ma'am," Scotty replied sarcastically, easing himself into the passenger seat with a disgruntled sigh.

Kat started the car, and they drove out of the parking lot in stony silence. Once out on the street, she finally looked over at him, and in a much softer tone, asked, "So...what's eatin' you today?"

"Thought you didn't give a rat's ass," Scotty scoffed darkly, glaring out the window.

"Dammit, Valens," Miller burst out, her irritation once again surfacing. "I am tryin' to help you. I don't like seein' the people I care about get hurt, and you and Lil are both hurtin' today. Now, what in the world happened between the two of you?"

Scotty sighed. "So you did know…about us…" he realized.

'You bet your ass I knew…" Miller said, then added, with a sly smile, "…Casanova."

Scotty chuckled humorlessly. "Well, it looks like those days are over."

"What the hell did she do to you, Scotty?" Miller asked quietly. Beneath his anger, beneath the hard glint in his eyes, she could see that his heart was broken, and her own ached with sympathy. It felt, to her, like the first time Veronica had scraped her knee falling off her tricycle. She had looked on helplessly as her little girl cried in pain and terror, and she'd have done anything to make it better. She and Scotty Valens hadn't always seen eye-to-eye, but looking at the pain rolling off him in waves, she realized that, despite whatever had happened between them, he really, truly did love Lilly. And...anybody who loved someone like Scotty obviously loved Lilly was all right in her book.

"What'd she do to me?" Scotty asked bitterly. "How come you ain't askin' what I did to her?"

Miller sighed. She'd heard about Scotty and his self-loathing, about his tendency to blame himself for everything under the sun, but she'd never experienced it first-hand. Vera had told her once, in a rare serious moment, about his conversation with Scotty out on the balcony after the Ana Castilla mess had come out into the open, but Miller had never truly seen the dark depths to which her colleague could sink.

"Because I know you love her," Kat replied softly. "And I know you'd rather die than hurt the ones you love."

Scotty's head snapped up, his anger evaporating for the moment, and he considered her. It was one of the truest things he'd ever heard anyone speak about him, and to come from someone who'd known him less than two years, when he'd never so much as voiced that particular character trait of his, never even found a way to express it in words? How in the _hell_ did she know that about him?

In response to his unasked question, Miller glanced at him slyly, smiled confidently, and declared, "I'm the smartest damn detective in Homicide, Valens, and as soon as you Neanderthals figure that out, the easier life's gonna be for all of you."

Scotty laughed slightly, despite himself. "Think Vera might argue that point," he remarked with a raised brow.

Kat's eyes flashed briefly, and she retorted, "Well, he ain't here, now, and we ain't talkin' about him, anyway. Now what the hell did Rush do to you to make you think that drinkin' at nine A.M. is the answer to your problems?"

Scotty blinked in surprise at her vehemence, then sighed and fidgeted in his seat. He really, really didn't want to talk about this, would have done just about anything else, but there wasn't much choice. He knew Kat Miller would interrogate him until he cracked, and he just didn't have it in him today to fight it.

He sighed again and glanced up at her. "I told her I love her...and she...she doesn't…" he paused, bit his lip, and swallowed hard, trying to fight the tears that had sprung, unbidden, into his eyes. "What the hell did I have to go and do that for?" he demanded rhetorically, his voice ragged.

"Man in love can't hide it forever," Miller replied calmly, with a slight smile.

"She's been pullin' away the last couple days," Scotty continued, the sadness evident in his voice. "Duckin' my calls, sneakin' out at night after..."

"Don't go there," Miller warned sharply.

"Wasn't gonna...believe me," Scotty retorted, the pain of those memories far too great for him to even consider it. He knew there was no way in hell it would ever be as good with anyone else, and he just hoped that maybe…someday…the pain would fade enough so that he could turn to those memories for comfort some long, lonely night way off in the future.

"So...you think Lil doesn't love you?" Miller asked softly, interrupting his reverie of self-pity.

"Well, what the hell else am I supposed to think?" Scotty demanded in frustration, gesturing angrily. "She does this over and over...she starts seein' someone, and he gets too close, and—and she just bolts!" He let out an exasperated sigh, then continued, his voice softer.

"I've seen her do it before...and I guess I just thought I'd be the one she wouldn't run away from. I thought I'd be...enough for her. Dammit," he said, around the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. "I thought...I could save her." Would those damn tears never stop stinging his eyes? It was all he could do to hold them back.

"_Save_ her?" Miller repeated incredulously. "Save her from what?"

"Save her from thinkin' she's always gotta be alone," Scotty replied simply, his voice breaking.

Miller sighed compassionately and smiled. "Ain't nobody gonna save Lilly Rush from that except Lilly Rush. Whether she wants to be alone or not, it's gotta be her call. Nothin' you can do to change that, 'cause whatever that girl's issues are, they got nothin' to do with you."

"What makes you so sure?" Scotty demanded, clear by his tone that he didn't believe a word she said.

Miller sighed again and cast him a compassionate glance. "I saw her this mornin', too, Scotty. And this mess you all are in…it's hurtin' her just as bad as it is you. You ain't the only one in pain today, believe me."

Scotty's blood instantly started to boil. "You mean you got somethin' outta Lil besides that…damn Ice Queen look?" he demanded roughly, then sighed, the anger fading as quickly as it had arisen. "If I'd just been more…_careful_…and just…not fallen in love with her, none of this woulda ever happened," he lamented.

Miller glanced at him in disbelief. "That is the biggest load of crap I've heard all week, and I've been interviewin' suspects for a good chunk of it."

Scotty's head snapped up and he tried to glare at her, but he was too dumbfounded to look at her with anything but surprise.

"You heard me, Valens," Kat continued. "That's crap, and you know it."

"Don't think I'm quite gettin' your meanin'," Scotty answered slowly.

"You know as well as I do that you can't choose who you fall in love with," she explained kindly. "If you could…" she began, then trailed off.

"What?" Scotty asked, not quite sure where the conversation was taking them.

"If you could…" she said again, her voice sounding faraway, "…lotta things sure would be different."

Scotty laughed bitterly at this. "I coulda stopped it," he argued darkly. "Coulda just kept my heart out of it. Woulda been a helluva lot easier."

Kat looked over at him again and saw that he was on the edge, teetering on the precipice of that abyss of self-loathing, despair, and God alone knew what else, and she'd be damned if she was gonna let that happen.

An idea suddenly occurred to her. "You believe in God, Valens?" she asked him bluntly.

Scotty was dumbfounded, and his eyes betrayed his shock as he glanced over at Miller once more.

"Yeah," he responded after a pause. "I do. But what's that gotta do with--"

Miller cut him off. "I do, too," she responded matter-of-factly. "Can't do what we do and not believe in somethin', I figure. So…there is a God, Valens…but you ain't Him."

"I know that," Scotty replied slowly, fighting his headache in an effort to comb his hung-over mind for some scrap of information he could use to explain her tactics, to figure out where she was going with this.

"You blamin' yourself for every little thing under the sun? That's you with a God complex, Valens. Everything's your fault, means you control everything. And you can't even control this," she added, suddenly jerking the car to the left almost violently, then yanking it back into the center of the lane just as abruptly, ignoring the annoyed honks from passing motorists.

"Jeez, Miller," Scotty exclaimed, glancing over at her in shock as he peeled his fingers off the dashboard, "what the hell was that for?"

"Coulda gotten into an accident back there," Miller said calmly. "That your fault? You gonna blame yourself for that?" she asked him evenly.

Irritation surged through his veins, and he tried his damnedest to come up with some way to _make_ it his fault. "You were tryin' to prove a point to me," he added with a lopsided grin. "I hadn't been here, you prob'ly wouldn'ta done that."

"But you didn't _make_ me do it. You didn't grab the steering wheel outta my hands, you didn't tell me to do it, hell, you didn't even give me the idea," she replied, and Scotty was forced to admit, to his chagrin, that she was right. He didn't even have to say the words or look in her direction. He felt the surge of triumph from the driver's seat.

"Guess I ain't the only crazy-ass driver in Homicide," Scotty remarked with a slight grin, trying to disguise the fear that was coursing through his veins. She'd scared the crap out of him, but he'd be damned if he was gonna let her see that.

"Nope," she replied with a smile, and they both shared a brief laugh.

"Scotty…you gotta accept that Lil's just…Lil," Miller continued softly. "Ain't no doubt in my mind that she's got some powerful feelin's for you, or she wouldn't look the way she does today. You're mired so deep in your own mess that you can't see that, but she's hurtin', too, and she wouldn't be hurtin' if she didn't care."

"If she cares, then why'd she gotta go and say what she said?" Scotty grumbled, and Kat was surprised to see his anger directed, just for an instant, at someone other than himself.

"What'd she say?" Miller asked curiously.

"Made some…comment about me not keepin' my promises," he muttered, really not wanting to talk about this, but he knew what he wanted didn't matter. Not as long as Kat Miller was driving the car.

"What'd you promise, Valens?" Kat asked softly.

"Promised her that…no matter what…we'd get through this together," he answered glumly. "Stupid, huh?"

"When did you promise that?" she demanded.

"At the beginnin'," Scotty replied. "Before…any of the rest of it. Before I fell in love with her."

"So what made her think you ain't gonna live up to that?" Miller continued.

Scotty was silent for a few seconds, then sighed in defeat. "Prob'ly when I told her there ain't no 'us' anymore," he answered reluctantly, bracing himself for the inevitable tongue-lashing he was about to receive.

As expected, Kat didn't disappoint. She glanced over at him, anger and disbelief etched across her features. "Well, yeah, I think that'd do it. You said _that _to a girl with abandonment issues? I oughta kick your Latin ass into next week! You wanna feel guilty about somethin', feel guilty about _that_."

"I know," Scotty replied softly, regret pricking his soul. Why the hell did he have to go and say what he said? He'd give anything to have that moment back, to not have lashed out at the woman he loved. "I was doin' okay…" he began, glancing over just in time to see Miller cast him a brief look that clearly said she didn't believe him.

He shot her a glare and continued. "I was doin' okay…until I saw Lil. And…seein' her just…" he paused, fumbling frantically for the right words.

"You wanted to hit back," Miller concluded softly.

"Yeah," Scotty agreed. He wasn't proud of it, but it was the truth. He'd just wanted to lash out, to hurt Lil the way she'd hurt him.

He grinned sheepishly and glanced over at Miller again. "So…I guess I ain't that guy you thought I was."

"What guy?" Miller asked, eyebrow raised.

"That guy who'd rather die than hurt the one he loves," Scotty answered, his voice husky with emotion once more.

Miller glanced over at him and could tell from the look on his face that he was teetering on the edge of the abyss once more. "Everyone screws up," she told him, her tone sharp, yet laced with compassion. "Everyone gets hurt, gets mad, and says stupid things they shouldn't say. _Everyone._ You screwin' up sometimes doesn't make you unique, Scotty, it makes you human. You ain't nearly as special as you think you are."

Scotty smiled slightly. "Think she'll ever forgive me?"

Kat chuckled. "Maybe, if you grovel your ass off."

Scotty sighed. "I know it's prob'ly over between us, but...I don't want the last thing I said to her to be, well…that."

Miller glanced over at him. "Then you gotta find her and apologize."

"What if she won't listen?" Scotty asked.

"Then you gotta make her listen," Miller replied matter-of-factly. "Lil's forgiven your screw-ups before."

"She did forgive me for…Chris," Scotty mused, hope beginning to blossom in his heart for the first time that morning.

"And you screwin' her sister is a way bigger deal than you lashin' out and sayin' somethin' stupid when you're hung over and in pain," Miller reminded him.

Scotty was silent for a moment as he considered her words. Lilly had forgiven him for Christina. And even though he had no hope for a renewal of their romantic relationship, he had a small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, they could salvage a professional relationship. At least, enough of one that maybe they could handle their occasional encounters without scratching each other's eyes out. But the hope was quickly replaced by a hot surge of bitterness as Scotty remembered that his transfer request was sitting on Stillman's desk at that very moment. He was giving up a job he loved, a job he was damn good at…all because of _her. _All because he couldn't keep his boundaries and realize that there was a reason the department had rules about sleeping with your partner.

"Why's this gotta be so damn _hard_?" Scotty burst out in frustration.

"You fell in love with a complicated woman," Miller answered with a smile. "Millions of us out there. And you…you ain't exactly a walk in the park, yourself. You blame yourself for stuff you have no control over, everything except the one thing you actually did wrong? You are one screwed-up piece of man candy, Valens."

_Man candy? _Scotty was utterly dumbfounded. New, slightly disturbing nickname aside, this woman, this petite little barnstormer of a woman, had absolutely nailed him to the wall. All he could do was stare at her in disbelief.

"Told you I'm smarter than you," she commented lightly, turning the car into the warehouse parking lot.

Scotty chuckled slightly. "Now that you know what's eatin' me today…ain't you feelin' the least little bit bad you threw out my flask?"

Miller shot him an amused glance. "Nope. Not a bit," she replied, as she stopped the car.

"You okay to do this?" she asked, sizing him up once more.

Scotty took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and composed his face. After a moment, he nodded, and Kat knew he was back to being Detective Valens again: fully professional, and fully in control.

"Let's go get this murderin' son of a bitch," he replied firmly. _Mission accomplished, _Kat mused with pride.

"That's the best idea I've heard all day," Miller told him as they climbed out of the car. "You behave yourself in there, I might even let you drive back to Headquarters." Her eyes twinkled with mischief as she locked the doors and stashed the keys in her coat pocket.

Scotty cast his colleague yet another disbelieving glance, then shook his head and smiled as they strode toward the warehouse to make their arrest.

**A/N: Oh, what I wouldn't have given for a Kat Miller smackdown in Season 2…**


	36. You've Never Been This Far Before

**A/N: Again, thanks to yankee 1151 for some helpful clips.**

**Disclaimer: If these characters were mine, they'd be a lot less complicated. So I'm kind of glad they're not mine.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Six: You've Never Been This Far Before **

Lilly sighed as she sat, pen in hand, at one of the tables next to the coffee wagon on the second floor, tapping her pen incessantly against the plastic tabletop while she struggled with the form she was filling out. Lilly was sure her pen-tapping was irritating the heavyset guy behind the coffee wagon, but she hadn't bothered to glance in his direction to find out for sure. Nobody else was around, just a few random CSUs heading toward the lab, not giving her so much as a second glance. It was, Lilly thought as she wryly surveyed her surroundings, absolutely perfect.

Lilly hardly ever visited here, the second floor being the domain mostly of the CSUs, and most of the time she was too cheap to actually spend money on coffee, anyway. Granted, the coffee in their office was horrifyingly bad, but it was free, so it had that in its favor. Not much else, but…there was that.

This morning, however, she'd had to flee the squad room entirely to maintain any semblance of sanity. She'd thought that Scotty taking off with Kat for the two-hour round trip to bring in their suspect might possibly ease some of the tension, but it hadn't. Vera and Jeffries had cast repeated curious glances in her direction during the few minutes she'd stayed in the office after Scotty's departure, but neither one of them had dared approach her, and, after sending Scotty and Kat off on their mission, Stillman had headed into his office without further ado and started in on the endless mountain of paperwork that greeted him each morning. _One of the perks of being Lieutenant_, Lilly had mused drily on more than one occasion.

Even though Scotty was gone, the evidence of his presence had proven to be too much for her. Vera's Hooters mug sat abandoned on Scotty's desk, along with the various paper clutter that constantly clogged all of their workspaces. Lilly noticed, with a stab of bitter amusement, that Scotty hadn't even taken his usual care with the coffee that morning. Normally, he was in the kitchen far longer than any of the rest of them, tinkering with cream and sugar, stirring his coffee incessantly, never quite satisfied with his results, but never totally abandoning his quest for a palatable cup of coffee, either. Scotty and his high-maintenance coffee habits had been something of a running joke for the past couple of years, but this morning…he was drinking it black, with no swirly in sight. _Black, just like his soul, _she'd groused inwardly.

Lilly immediately checked her uncharitable thoughts, knowing that they weren't true. She knew that deep down, Scotty was a good person…but she also knew that she'd probably never see that side of him again. Not if their exchange that morning had been any indication.

_There ain't no "us," Lil…not anymore._

Tears stung Lilly's eyes as she recalled his words, and she flinched as she remembered the way he'd looked at her. Despite the fact that time had passed, the pain hadn't eased in the slightest. She'd been terrified, their whole relationship, that he'd leave her, and here he was, doing exactly that. He was walking away, just like everyone else she'd ever loved.

Not…that she loved _him_. Oh, no. If she did, she could scarcely imagine how much more this would hurt. It was a good thing she'd managed to keep her heart out of it the whole time, she reasoned. Well…not entirely out, she was forced to admit…but she'd done her best. She'd entered the office that morning prepared to spend the day wrestling with the question of whether or not she loved Scotty, but she realized now, chuckling bitterly as she filled out another line of her form, that that was quite possibly the most pointless question she could be pondering now. He'd made it perfectly clear that it was too late for her, for them. He was done. Not only with their relationship, but he was done with…her. With the friendship they'd crafted from the ground up, had repaired after the Christina debacle, and worked to preserve throughout the time they'd been dating.

_But he promised, _a little-girl voice in her head whined. Angrily, Lilly wiped away a tear with her left hand as she continued to scribble as best she could through tear-blurred eyes with her right. He'd promised, just like everyone else. And he'd left. Just like everyone else.

Not that she'd helped matters, a surprisingly rational voice piped in through the din of her hurt. She'd fired back with a volley every bit as lethal as his. He'd hit below the belt, the voice acknowledged, but so had she. Lilly knew that Scotty's Achilles heel was his tendency to blame himself for everything, his tendency to make promises he couldn't keep, to have a world of good intentions but to allow his emotions to steer him off course. Maybe he was just lashing out, the voice suggested. Maybe he didn't mean it.

Well, mean it or not, he'd said it, Lilly fumed, and she knew that it could never be the same between them again. Their partnership would be next to impossible, she knew that much. It had been damn difficult to work with him while he was whoring it out with Christina and showing up to work smelling like a brewery, but she'd soldiered on, knowing that they had a job to do, and whether or not she wanted anything to do with Scotty personally, he was her partner, she was his, and they had to work together.

But now...working with him would be impossible, she knew. Work had always been her escape, her refuge, something she could throw herself into to forget about her problems, but now…her partner was her problem, and there'd be no escaping that.

With a start, she realized that Scotty would definitely move on from her. She knew him well enough to know that. Lilly remembered how he'd handled Elisa. He'd been with her for over fifteen years, then had spent all of about five minutes grieving for her before heating up the sheets with Chris. Lilly realized, with a touch of bitterness and what felt terrifyingly close to jealousy, that there wouldn't be a damn thing that would stop him from doing that again. She knew Scotty would hop into the bed of whoever was available, and she wasn't blind. She'd seen that god-awful ADA sniffing around him in the weeks before they'd left for Nashville. Would it be her? Would it be someone he knew from his building, or maybe from his old neighborhood? Would it be some random girl from a bar?

Bile rose in Lilly's throat as she thought of Scotty with someone else, and with a stab of terror, she realized that she couldn't fathom how she would face it. She knew Scotty was probably her last chance at any kind of happiness, but she wasn't stupid enough to think that she was his. Oh, no. Not by a long shot. Despite what had happened that morning, Scotty was good at the relationship thing. Lilly had seen how he cared for Elisa, even at the cost of his own happiness. She knew that, despite his protests, someday he'd come in grinning from ear to ear over someone else, catch hell from Vera and Jeffries about his late-night exploits while secretly loving every minute of it…and then, to Lilly's horror, a particularly revolting image surfaced…an image of Scotty coming in one day with a goddamned wedding ring on his finger.

Yes, some girl would be lucky to have him. But obviously not her.

_There ain't no "us," Lil. Not anymore._

And she knew she couldn't watch that. Couldn't sit idly by and watch her last chance at happiness gallivant his way through life with someone else by his side. So that was why Lilly was sitting there, at that isolated table by the second-floor coffee wagon, filling out her request for transfer. She didn't want to leave Homicide completely, she knew that much. Despite what else was going on in her life, she still couldn't stand bastards getting away with murder. She'd dearly miss the squad, would miss solving decades-old crimes, but she realized that going back on the line in Homicide might, in time, prove to be just as satisfying. She'd still be getting murdering scum off the streets, she reasoned. Still be giving justice to families who'd lost loved ones. It wasn't quite the same, and she knew that she'd probably never feel the same about the fresh jobs as she did the cold ones, but Homicide proper had one shining advantage: Scotty wasn't there.

Oh, sure, he'd still be there in the same squad room. But they were all out of the office so much that Lilly figured she'd hardly ever see him, especially if she went back out on the line. She wouldn't have to work with him, she wouldn't have to force a smile when he came in next week with someone new, wouldn't have to pretend to be happy for him when he moved on. She could lose herself in Homicide. She'd try that. And if it didn't work, well, she mused, with a wry chuckle…she'd always heard good things about California.

Her form was filled out in its entirety, minus her signature. For some reason, scribbling through the paperwork, explaining as delicately as she could why she had a sudden burning desire to go back out on the line, hadn't been as difficult as she'd thought it would be, but that little line with "Detective Signature" underneath it might as well have been a sixteen-foot concrete wall, for all the ease she had in scaling it. Signing it made it official. It meant she was really doing this. There was no going back once she'd inked her name on that little line.

A familiar voice interrupted her reverie, and she quickly stashed her form in the envelope she'd brought downstairs with her.

"Rush? What are you doing down here?"

Despite herself, Lilly had to smile as she recognized the voice of Louie, her favorite CSU. Oh, she knew they weren't supposed to have favorites, but she couldn't help it. He had a way about him, a certain panache that always managed to bring a smile to her face whenever she saw him.

"Just…needed some air," she replied weakly.

"And you came to the CSU floor for that?" Louie asked her, his tone indicating he didn't believe her in the slightest. She met his gaze with a smile, but Louie noticed that the smile never quite reached her beautiful sapphire eyes.

"Why so sad today, Rush?" he asked compassionately.

Lilly sighed and looked away. "It's nothing," she answered.

Louie wasn't backing down. He knew Lilly was hurting. He also knew, from years of experience, that she'd probably never tell him why, but he hoped just the same that maybe he could ease her pain, even just a little.

"Trouble in paradise?" he asked softly.

Lilly's head snapped up in alarm. "How'd you know that?" she asked abruptly, cursing her inability to hide her pain.

Louie smiled sympathetically. "It's the evidence, Rush. The look in your eyes. I don't just look at bombs and fires…I know when a woman's heart is broken."

Lilly grinned ruefully, but didn't say a word. Not that he expected her to. After a few seconds, she said, "I'd probably better get back upstairs before they put out an APB on me."

Louie helped her to her feet and walked her to the elevator, pressed the button for her, then gave her arm a sympathetic squeeze. Glancing at Lilly with a dazzling smile, he commented, as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, "I sure would like to meet the guy who's dumb enough to let you get away."

Lilly smiled in return and glanced then toward the elevator, her blood turning to ice when she realized that its lone occupant…

…was none other than Scotty.

"Oh, hey, Detective," Louie greeted Scotty, and Lilly glanced at Scotty in shock. He'd been sipping coffee and reviewing his notes, but the hollow look in his eyes told her he'd heard every word Louie had just said.

"Louie," he greeted the investigator tersely.

Lilly's heart stopped beating at Louie's next words. "Rush is havin' a rough time today. Take good care of her for me, will ya?"

She braved a glance at Scotty, hoping he'd at least be amused by the irony, but the glittering intensity of his eyes told her he didn't find it funny in the slightest.

"I'll do my best," he replied coldly.

"Bye, Louie," Lilly said with a sigh and another sad smile, as she realized she had no choice but to get on that goddamn elevator. As she stepped forward, she stole another peripheral peek at Scotty, who was taking another sip of his coffee and back to pretending to be buried in the notes he was reading.

_So this is how it's gonna be, _she mused. Lilly had hoped that maybe, with Scotty being stuck in the car with Kat Miller for a couple of hours, he might return in a more pleasant mood, might do or say something to make her reconsider her decision to transfer. Failing that, she realized, she figured should at least tell him she was leaving, that as soon as she dropped that envelope on Stillman's desk, she'd be moving to the other side of the room, be one of those semi-anonymous other detectives that bustled in and out, and they'd never have to deal with one another again. She also thought that maybe, since this could, essentially, be their goodbye, that maybe she should offer him some words of farewell. He really had been a great partner…up until that day, he'd been wonderful. Better than she'd ever hoped. She couldn't even think about how to say goodbye to him as her boyfriend, but it seemed she'd already done that, despite the fact that she'd spent the night second-guessing that decision for some reason she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Lilly took a deep breath and opened her mouth to try to say something, anything, to dissolve the horrible awkwardness between them, the tension so thick she needed a machete to cut through it, but nothing came. She glanced over at Scotty and noticed the stubborn set of his shoulders, the clenching of his jaw, the tight line of his lips, all of which told her that nothing she could say would ever bridge the gap between them. She realized, in a flash, that Scotty's ability to hold a grudge had never occurred to her. She wasn't the only one in Homicide with walls, and it looked like she was forever going to be on the outside of his. She didn't blame him, really. She knew herself how badly it hurt to love someone and have them leave you, and she wished with all her heart that there was some way to change things, some way to get past her barricades…but what good would it do now? After all she'd gone through the previous night, he wouldn't even look in her direction. It was too late for her…for them. Sighing inwardly, she turned away.

Scotty, for his part, tried desperately to keep his eyes on the notes in front of him. If his eyes were there, he reasoned, perhaps some portion of his brain would be there, too. But it was no use. Kat had admonished him to apologize, and for all his tendency to blame himself for everything, apologizing didn't come easily to him. It never had. But he knew, in his heart of hearts, that an apology was necessary. He'd hurt Lilly badly, he could tell that much from the way she stared straight ahead, not even bothering to look in his direction. _I'm sorry, Lil, _he wanted to say. _I was hurt, and I just wanted to hit back. It's over between us, and I'm transferrin' out so I don't keep hurtin' you, so I don't have to see the woman I love every single day knowin' I can't ever be with her, but I wanna end on at least sort of a good note. I wanna apologize, make it all water under the bridge, and then maybe, someday, when I see you again, maybe we can look back with fond memories at this…experiment…I guess, that didn't work out._ Maybe, if he groveled enough, he realized, there was a slight chance he could move on from groveling to a touch of humor, because that encounter with Louie, he was forced to admit…had been somewhat funny. _At least there's somebody in this goddamn building that doesn't know our business, _he wanted to say. Maybe he could at least get a tiny bit of a smile to remember her by.

But as he looked over at Lilly and opened his mouth to speak, he realized that any and all attempts at apologizing or diffusing the situation with humor would fall on deaf ears. She was still boring holes through the elevator doors, willing that metal box to move faster, to get her the hell out of this situation. She wouldn't even acknowledge his existence.

_Figures, _he thought bitterly. _I want a smile to remember her by, not that I'm gonna need any help rememberin' her, goddammit, and all I get's the Ice Queen Look. _He almost laughed at the bitter irony as he turned back to his notes. _Prob'ly a more accurate way to remember her anyhow, _he concluded as the doors opened and Lilly stepped briskly out of the elevator without so much as a backward glance.

* * *

Moving in a daze, Lilly blew through the squad room like a hurricane. Miller wasn't there, she noticed, and neither was Jeffries. Vera was the only one in, but he was still clicking away at his computer, seemingly oblivious to everything. She expected Scotty to follow her back in, but she didn't see him, and after a few seconds, realized that this was her chance. This was that final push she needed to scrawl her signature across the bottom of that goddamned form and get it on Boss's desk before anybody could see her or ask her what the hell she was doing. Decision made, she pulled the envelope from her pocket, fumbled with the flap, fished the form out, and slapped it on her desk. She checked it over once more, not really bothering to read what she'd written, then scribbled her signature across that line, stuffed it back into the envelope, sealed it closed, and took it into Stillman's office. Pausing briefly to wonder, just for a moment, if maybe she was overreacting, she then set her jaw and dropped the envelope on the desk, where it landed right next to an identical one, also blank on the outside, and as yet unopened.

With a defeated sigh, Lilly turned, headed out of the office and immediately pushed open the door to the balcony, where she stepped outside and leaned her arms on the concrete railing, wringing her hands and watching the cars swish by on the street below.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there, the soft breeze blowing her hair, her mind devoid of any coherent thought except for that feeling she had, that burning anger and searing pain that enveloped her whole heart. So wrapped up was she in her own misery that she didn't even hear the door to the office open, just a pair of shuffling footsteps and the nervous clearing of a throat. Lilly glanced behind her to note, with some surprise, that Vera had joined her on the balcony. Sighing, she turned back to face the street, bracing herself for another round of Casanova-related teasing from her colleague, but none came. He just shuffled up and stood next to her.

They stood in silence for a few moments, Vera gathering his courage. He'd been summoned to this spot once before, when he'd had to talk Scotty down off the ledge after the unmitigated disaster that was the Ana Castilla job. Truth be told, as absorbed as he was in gossip and as obsessed as he was with finding out the details of his colleagues' lives, Nick Vera usually didn't want to get involved in their problems. But his discomfort at being called upon for advice or support was superseded by his fear of losing his family. Ever since Julie had left, if not even before, he'd begun to think of the six detectives as family. They'd been through so much together, he reasoned, that it was hard not to. And when something threatened the peace and harmony of that family, well…Vera was on edge. The whole mess with Christina had disconcerted him, and Josie Sutton's arrival shortly thereafter, when the squad was still getting back on its feet after Scotty's unimaginable stupidity, had terrified him. If he'd been brutally honest with himself, Vera would have been forced to admit that he knew his marriage was over, and so his frantic efforts to keep peace in the squad, he supposed, were compensation for his failures to keep peace in his own home. Not that he'd really given it that much thought. But as he'd seen Lilly brush through the squad room, flit into Stillman's office for a moment, and then head out for the balcony, he knew she needed him. He knew that, if the squad was ever going to get back to normal, Scotty and Lil needed to patch things up.

With a sinking heart, Vera realized that, no matter how things turned out with them, though, the squad as he knew it was forever changed. If Rush and Valens got back together romantically, that'd be great for them and all, but Vera wasn't stupid. He knew that one or the other of them would likely be transferred out, or, at the very least, they'd have to change partners, which meant, in all likelihood, that Vera wouldn't be paired with Jeffries anymore. But if they didn't get back together, there was no doubt going to be some frostiness, a la Christinagate, and Vera wasn't looking forward to that, either.

Even more than his craving for stability, though, Vera had to admit, in his heart of hearts, which he didn't visit very often, that he wanted his friends, his family, to be happy. And Rush and Valens together…well…there was no denying that they made each other happy. Valens had been grinning so much the past few weeks that Vera thought the man could get a nice side gig in a toothpaste commercial, and the way Lil had been blushing and sneaking shy smiles…well, that was pretty damn adorable. Vera had never seen Lilly Rush truly happy before, and he had to admit that it warmed his heart. So if his co-workers could find a way to be happy again…then whatever happened, Vera supposed he could live with that.

Decision made, he turned to face Lilly. "Man, what is it about this spot?" he asked lightly.

Deep in thought, Lilly had almost forgotten anyone else was standing there on that balcony with her, and she glanced up in surprise. "What?" she asked blankly.

"Never mind," Vera muttered.

He took a deep breath and continued. "So you and…Casanova…finito, huh?"

"Looks that way," Lilly said with a sigh.

"Too bad," Vera replied lightly. "You guys were good together."

Lilly glanced up in shock. "How'd you know that?" she demanded.

Vera smirked. "'Cause I know both of you."

Lilly's heart sank instinctively, but then she realized, with a sense of bitter irony, that it really didn't matter. Another few days, and she'd be out of the cold case squad, and they could gossip about her to their heart's content_. Lilly Rush, former hardass, who turned soft and slept with her partner. That Rush, she really gets around._

She sighed. "Well, I'm just a lone wolf cop now."

"Lone wolf cop?" Vera echoed, frowning in confusion.

"Something …someone said once," she continued with a wave of her hand. "Every good cop is a lone wolf."

Vera chuckled. "Y'know, that expression really don't make a helluva lot of sense anymore," he remarked. "Lone wolf."

Lilly couldn't help but be curious, and she glanced at Vera with intrigue shining from her blue eyes. "Yeah?" she asked.

Vera nodded. "Funny thing about wolves is…they travel in packs. And," he added significantly, glancing in her direction, "they mate for life."

Lilly paused for a minute, mulling over her colleague's words. "You sure know a lot about wolves," she finally commented, grinning slightly.

"Nah…it's this guy we interviewed from the paper company. He's the wolf expert. I just pay attention," Vera replied with a smirk.

Lilly sighed again, and she and Vera were silent for a few minutes.

"Then why'd Scotty have to go and…say what he said?" she demanded softly, and for a second, Vera thought she was mostly talking to herself. Still, though…it was out there. Fair game.

"What'd he say?" Vera asked, a rarely heard compassion coloring his voice.

"I told him we could get through this…'cause we're us…and he said there ain't no us anymore," she replied, silently cursing the hot tears that pricked her eyes yet again.

"Talk about shootin' yourself in the foot," Vera muttered indignantly. Of all the stupid-assed stunts Scotty Valens had pulled, this one had to be just about tops.

"So…mate for life or not, it's over with him," she said, with a sense of defeat and resignation.

"Don't be too sure," Vera answered quickly, glancing in her direction, hoping his words got through.

Lilly turned to look at him, the disbelief etched on her face. "Yeah? How?"

"Scotty's…well…an unbelievable jackass when he's in pain," Vera explained with a shrug. "Does stupid things. You know that as well as I do." He gave her a significant glance then, one that told her he was thinking of one particular stupid thing Scotty had done when he was in pain. And that particular thing, Lilly realized…they'd overcome. They'd both had to fight for it, but they'd overcome it.

"Think that's all it was?" she asked, the tiniest bit of hope beginning to blossom in her heart.

"He really loves you, Lil," Vera replied softly. "And…I think you love him."

_Vera thinks I love Scotty? _Lilly's mind whirled momentarily with this bombshell. _Nick Vera…thinks I'm in love with Scotty?_

"That doesn't matter now," she replied softly, dismissing the idea with a wave of her hand, the hope disappearing as quickly as it came. "It's over…he'll never forgive me."

"Don't know unless you try," Vera replied matter-of-factly. "And since when does Lilly Rush give up on _anything_? We're the goddamn cold case squad. It's never over. Not 'till that box is on the shelf, marked CLOSED. And your box ain't closed…not by a long shot."

He was about to say more, but his cell phone rang just then, and he answered it and had a brief, monosyllabic conversation with the person on the other end.

Lilly's head was spinning with the enormity of the realization that maybe it wasn't over…maybe they could work through this…maybe…

Vera flipped his phone closed and interrupted her train of thought. "That was Boss. Shawn King's ready for his interview with Scotty…you want in?"

Lilly smiled. "No, you go ahead. I think I'll…sit this one out," she replied.

Vera shrugged, grunted noncommittally, and headed back in for the interview. He'd done all he could; if those two wanted to keep sniping at each other for the rest of their lives, there really wasn't much he could do about it. Besides, he had a doer to arrest. And, he realized with a smile…another donut to eat.

* * *

Lilly's eyes widened as the thoughts tumbled around in her head. Scotty Valens really was the king of doing stupid things when he was in pain. Hadn't he almost flushed his career down the toilet after Elisa's death? Sleeping with his partner's sister had been stupid, but drinking on the job had been borderline career suicide.

With an enormous thud she could almost feel, Lilly realized, with certainty, that Scotty was doing that exact same thing now. Granted, he hadn't been drinking, as far as she knew, and she hoped to God he hadn't been sleeping with someone else, but…that comment that morning in Stillman's office certainly qualified. Vera had said as much. She'd told him what Scotty had said, and Vera had almost shrugged it off as inconsequential, something that shouldn't affect the course of the rest of her life. Now, Lilly knew Nick Vera well enough to know that he didn't shrug off legitimate offenses; he'd been after Scotty like a mother hen trying to get him not to sleep with Chris. She knew that, despite Vera's outward gruffness and affected nonchalance, he really did care about his friends, and he hated seeing any of them get hurt. So if Vera thought Scotty's comment was just the result of him being in pain and lashing out, well…she couldn't very well ignore that, now, could she? Scotty was lashing out in an effort to spread around some of his emotional pain. While that didn't erase the hurt he'd inflicted on her, it did, at least, explain it.

It explained him drinking and sleeping with Christina, too, come to think of it. Lilly realized that, much like this morning, the "he's lashing out because he's in pain" explanation certainly didn't excuse Scotty's actions, but it did offer a reason. Sleeping with Christina certainly didn't mean that Scotty didn't love Elisa, Lilly knew him better than that. Elisa was his soul mate, his childhood sweetheart, his onetime fiancée. She knew that his downward spiral that spring had just been because he was so lost and broken over Elisa's death…over the fact that she'd left him.

Lilly's eyes widened as she realized that she had done the same thing to Scotty. Of course, she wasn't about to take her own life, wasn't about to leap off a bridge, but she did break his heart the day before, there was no denying that. Scotty wasn't leaving of his own accord…he was leaving because she'd given him no other choice.

And the discoveries continued to unfold as Lilly stood, wide-eyed, as all the thoughts she'd been struggling to bury came forth with a vengeance; they whizzed by so rapidly that she couldn't even refute them. They didn't give her enough time. She'd forgiven Scotty for Christina, her thoughts reminded her. She'd forgiven him back then, when he'd apologized the first time, and she'd forgiven him a second time, in New York, when it had threatened to come between them once more. She remembered how she'd stormed out of Scotty's hotel room, and could have easily fled New York and hopped a train back to Philly, cut her losses, and ended things with him then and there.

But that idea…leaving…had never even crossed her mind.

Lilly's heart raced as she realized that she'd never even considered ending things with Scotty that night; no, her tossing and turning was out of…loneliness. She missed Scotty that night. And her jumbled thoughts had been not figuring how to get out of the relationship…but how to stay in it.

And…they'd worked through it. They'd talked about a lot of painful things, they'd been honest with each other, they'd confessed their hurts, they'd apologized, and they'd forgiven each other.

_Why?_ Lilly wondered. _Why, when I could have run away…why did I stay?_

She tried running away when she hopped on that early plane back from Nashville, Lilly recalled. But it hadn't worked. It had bought her some time, it had made her realize that, like it or not, things between the two of them had changed. But instead of running, she'd faced up to the fact that she was hopelessly addicted to Scotty. At the time, she'd thought it was just about sex, but now…Lilly realized with a force that nearly knocked her backwards, that she'd had…_feelings _for him. Even back then.

_I didn't run away…because I had feelings for him? _she mused in disbelief, but the memories refused to let up, and the evidence was mounting. Her thoughts, almost of their own accord, raced through her mind and forced her to pay attention to them. They wouldn't let her run, they wouldn't let her hide, they demanded her undivided attention. Memories surfaced that, had she not been so dumbfounded by the direction her mind was taking her, would have overwhelmed her with pain. But she didn't even have time to absorb the hurt.

That first weekend. Lilly could have kicked Scotty out first thing Saturday morning…but she didn't.

Their first date. She could have run…she could have just not gotten in that car…and she certainly could have used the ghost of Elisa as an excuse to leave. But she didn't.

When their co-workers started to get curious, did she bolt? No.

When Scotty punched out McBride for what he'd said to her…did she call things off? No…they worked through them.

_Why? _Lilly wondered. Why had neither one of them cut and run at the first sign of trouble?

Well, Scotty hadn't run away…because he was invested in their relationship. Because he wanted it to work.

Because…he loved her.

And Lilly realized, with a final, shuddering whump of reality, as though her heart had finally struggled through the mountains of excuses and rationalizations in which she'd tried to bury it and burst forth to wallop her with the inevitable conclusion…

…that she loved Scotty Valens.

She _loved _him.

When had she fallen in love with him? She didn't know.

How had she fallen in love with him? She didn't care.

Suddenly, all the whirling thoughts crystallized into that one, shining nugget of truth. Lilly couldn't even try to deny it, because she realized, she'd been trying to do just that for the last few weeks, at least…and that hadn't worked. The shrieking voices stilled, the racing thoughts stopped, and everything became crystal clear.

She loved Scotty. Truly, and completely. She knew it in her bones.

Tears spilled over once more as Lilly cradled her head in her hands and wept with joy, regret, and fear.

Joy…because she loved him.

Regret…because she hadn't figured it out soon enough to avoid breaking his heart.

Fear…because now…now that she knew she loved him…she had to tell him.

Could she overcome her terror enough to do that? Would Scotty even listen to her?

_Only one way to find out, _Lilly realized, as she yanked the door open and headed back into the squad room.

* * *

**A/N: Now we're getting somewhere!**


	37. On The Verge

**A/N: There are only two chapters left after this one, y'all. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I do own a lovely jar of Marmite, though.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: On The Verge**

John Stillman glanced up as he heard the metallic clattering of the blinds and the thud of a closing door. The noise startled him, as he thought all his detectives were either in the interview room with the doer or watching from Observation. They were about to close a case, and after the wild-goose-chase it had been at first, things seemed fairly straightforward. As a result, it was fairly slow around the office that day, and Stillman finally had an opportunity to catch up on some paperwork.

But, as he saw a streak of pale blonde hair hurry past the glass walls of his office and disappear into the observation room, he realized he'd been mistaken. Lilly had been outside on the balcony, it seemed. Had Stillman known she was out there, he'd have gone out to talk to her, but...knowing Lilly, especially having seen how distracted and scarce she'd been that day, he wasn't sure she'd have been in a listening mood, anyhow. Something, though…something sure seemed to have lit a fire under her.

With a slight chuckle and an almost paternal half-smile, Stillman shook his head slightly, then fished his letter opener out of the drawer and turned his attention to the two identical blank envelopes that had mysteriously appeared on his desk that day.

* * *

Hurrying through the squad room, Lilly slipped into Observation, hoping maybe…just maybe…she could snag Scotty before the interview. Maybe they could talk things over before she lost her nerve. Hell, maybe they could even go find a quiet place to talk and let Vera, Miller, and Jeffries get the confession; Lilly didn't care. For the first time in her life, work just wasn't important right now.

Upon arriving in the observation room, though, she realized Scotty and Vera were already in the room with Shawn. Their suspect sat glumly at the table, his plaid shirt accentuating the brawn of his shoulders, his hazel eyes haunted. Lilly studied him for a moment, knowing in a flash that the haunted look in his eyes spoke mostly of guilt, but there was something else under there…something else that she couldn't quite put a finger on.

Miller and Jeffries were in Observation already, and they glanced at Lilly curiously as she breezed in.

"Hey," she greeted them, in what she hoped was a light, professional tone. She couldn't let her co-workers know the depth of her feelings for Scotty. Not yet. Not until Scotty knew. She could handle her co-workers knowing she'd been stupid enough to have a fling with her partner, that that was what had chased her back out onto the line. But if she couldn't patch things up with Scotty, and the others knew she loved him…she couldn't handle the pitying glances they'd throw her way, couldn't handle the fact that they'd no doubt go out of their way to come over to the side of the room where she'd be and ask how she was doing, couldn't handle the idea that they'd tiptoe around the subject of Scotty whenever she was around. So she tamped down her feelings once more, trying to pretend that she was just in there to watch the interrogation, and nothing else.

Kat looked over at Lilly and saw her wearing her trademark Ice Queen mask again, then fixed a glare on Scotty through the glass, aghast at the fact that that screwed-up piece of man candy hadn't bothered to apologize to Lil yet. No way in hell had he apologized. If he had, Lilly Rush wouldn't be wearing that mask, wouldn't be trying to hide her hurt. Kat could have vaulted through that one-way window and throttled Scotty herself. But as she stole a few more peeks in Lilly's direction, she could see, underneath the hurt, what looked suspiciously close to fear in her colleague's eyes. Fear…of what?

Miller didn't have time to ponder that mystery, though, because the interview had already started, and she needed to be paying attention to the mystery she actually got paid to solve. She had a job to do, dammit, and the Rush-Valens soap opera had already demanded enough of her brainpower that day.

"No way would I have killed Tim…and I can't believe you think I killed Ann," Shawn was saying, spreading his hands wide in protest. "I loved her."

"People kill for love all the time," Vera replied brusquely, lightly slapping his notebook against the table for emphasis. "We ain't buyin' it."

Shawn was indignant. "What Ann and I had was…was special. Transcendent," he argued.

_Transcendent, my ass_, Scotty muttered inwardly. He wasn't even a hundred percent sure what the hell "transcendent love" looked like, or why a warehouse guy at a paper company would even be throwing that word around in the first place, but Scotty knew that, if there was such a thing as transcendent love…he'd been lucky enough to find it twice. And..unlucky enough to lose it. Both times.

"Lots of people with transcendent love wind up dead," he muttered cynically, his voice low and dark. _Keep your drama out of it, Valens, _his brain instructed. _Just do your job, get through this and get the hell outta here._

"No, you don't understand," Shawn protested. "I would never, ever hurt Ann. Ever. She was my whole life."

"But she was all chummy with that flop-haired co-worker of hers," Vera pressed, slowly approaching the table from the corner where he'd been standing. "They went to that convention in Scranton together, had a few too many, and wound up in bed."

Shawn sputtered in disbelief, his eyes wide with affected shock, glancing from one detective to the other. "She--she would never. She'd _never _cheat on me. Ever. You all got some nerve, sayin' that about my Ann."

"Save it," Scotty snapped, having had more than enough of this guy's bullshit. "You already knew she was cheatin' on you. We got witnesses to back that up."

"Witnesses sayin' you threatened her," Vera added, glaring at their suspect.

Shawn was silent.

Scotty picked up where Vera left off. "And if that weren't enough, she had to go and add insult to injury…she didn't just sleep with him in Scranton, she kept sleepin' with him back here in Philly. She was plannin' your weddin' by day and sleepin' with Tim Talbot at night. That had to have pissed you off."

"You ever have a woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, Detective?" Shawn asked.

Anger started to rise in Scotty's chest. "This ain't about me, pal," he retorted, without missing a beat. "This is about you and Ann, and Tim and Ann, and the fact that you killed both of 'em."

"But have you?" Shawn insisted, looking up to meet Scotty's eyes, making it clear that he wasn't going to answer any more of their questions until Scotty answered his.

Scotty froze. He knew Lilly was behind the glass, he was almost sure of it…and he really didn't want her to know how much he loved her, how desperately he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. The intensity of his desire terrified him…he didn't understand it entirely, himself, but it didn't matter, anyway, since he was sure Lil didn't feel the same way about him. She'd made that perfectly clear the day before.

Vera glanced over at Scotty in alarm, noticing the clenched jaw and the glittering eyes, wondering if he should step in, say something to bail him out, but the expression he saw on his colleague's face told him to let Scotty have this one, to see where he was going with it.

_What the hell? _Scotty thought, after a moment's hesitation. _Ain't got nothin' to lose. Maybe she'll think I'm talkin' about Elisa._

"Yeah," he conceded lightly. "I have."

"So you get where I'm comin' from," Shawn replied. "All I ever wanted was…the wife. The house. The kids. The dog. The goddamn white picket fence. "

"Me too," Scotty agreed softly, with a sad smile.

"All that crap…" Shawn continued, laughing bitterly, "…all that crap that chicks are supposed to want, and guys are supposed to run away from."

Vera, across the table, was dumbfounded. Scotty Valens…wanted _that_? Vera could have enlightened him then and there, given him stacks upon stacks of evidence that marriage wasn't all it was cracked up to be, but he was simply too stunned. _Just when you think you know someone, _he mused.

Lilly, for her part, froze behind the glass. Scotty…wanted that? The wife? The house? The kids? The dog? _That _was what he wanted?

"Don't see a ring on your finger, Detective," Shawn observed, and Scotty's dark eyes shot sparks in his direction. "Musta lost her somewhere along the line."

Scotty sighed. "Yeah," he finally agreed with a bitter chuckle. "Been there, done that."

_He's talking about Elisa. He's talking about Elisa. He's talking about Elisa, _Lilly chanted inwardly, balling her hands up into fists so tight that her nails dug painfully into her palms. He had to be talking about Elisa. That crap about the house and the kids and the dog…that had to be what he wanted with Elisa. Not with her. With Elisa. It had to be. Because Scotty knew, he _had_ to know, no way in hell could he _not _know…that she couldn't give him those things.

"Well, then you know what it's like," Shawn answered, satisfied.

"Yeah. I do know. It hurts. It hurts like hell to lose someone you love. Layin' it all out there and watchin' her walk away, knowin' there ain't a damn thing I can do about it…" Scotty glanced up toward the glass and swallowed hard. "It's killin' me," he finished huskily.

Lilly froze. The hard glare she'd seen in his eyes that morning had been replaced with the hollow, ebony gaze of heartbreak.

And she knew, with earth-shattering certainty…that he wasn't talking about Elisa.

He was talking about..._her._

She was simultaneously elated…

…and terrified.

She loved Scotty, she knew that now. Loved him more with each passing minute. But…he wanted things. Things she knew she couldn't give him.

_This is for the best_, that nagging voice from the previous night reminded her. _He wants things you can't give him, because you're too broken. Too messed up. Too wounded. You're damaged goods, Rush. He should be with someone who can give him what he wants._

_But he loves you, _another voice piped up. _Surely…if he loves you…he'll understand…won't he?_

The world began to spin, and Lilly's eyes filled with tears. She was absolutely terrified, frozen to the spot by the realization that…telling Scotty she loved him…meant…all that, too. Things Lilly hadn't dared hope for since Patrick…things she wasn't even sure she wanted for herself…and Scotty wanted them…with _her_?

She couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't do anything but stare at Scotty, to see the pain reflected in his eyes, pain that she had caused, and knew she'd continue to cause unless she could overcome her fears.

Sensing her colleague's turmoil, Miller glanced over at Lilly with concern. "You okay, Lil?"

But Lilly remained silent, her eyes fixed on Scotty. Miller slid closer to her and placed a supportive hand on her back.

A switch seemed to flip just then, and the hollow look in Scotty's eyes was replaced by one of anger and resolve. He was done with giving his own confession…he'd conceded way too much, thank you, it was beyond time to get the confession he was in there to get. Give a little to get a little, and he'd given more than his share. Setting his shoulders determinedly, he rose from his chair and switched tactics.

"Know what, Shawn? I got a temper," he admitted heatedly, rounding the table until he was face to face with the suspect. "I got a real nasty one. And if my girl was steppin' out on me, with somebody I worked with, no less, somebody I had to see every day, you think I'd take it sittin' down? You think I'd be okay with that?"

Shawn leaned back in his chair, but Scotty leaned forward, not giving him an extra inch of space.

"Think about it," Scotty pressed, looming over Shawn. "Her hands, that used to belong to you, touchin' someone else? While she was still wearing the diamond ring you bought her? Her lips…kissin' that other guy? Her naked, in bed, with him…screamin' his name insteada yours…"

"All right! All right! That's enough," Shawn screamed, leaping from his chair. "I did it. I killed her. And him. I killed both of them. I killed Ann…I just couldn't live knowing she didn't love me, that she loved some other guy….and then Tim….I waited four years because that's how long I was with Ann... I wanted him to know what it was like to live without her…to know the pain I was in having lost her."

That was it, Lilly realized. That haunted look in Shawn's eyes, tinged with a bit of something else…that something else was the same pain and heartbreak she saw reflected in Scotty's eyes as he gazed at her through the glass.

With a sigh, Scotty sat back down, suddenly sapped of strength, the dull throbbing in his forehead signaling the return of his headache. Or maybe an entirely new headache. He wasn't sure. He hadn't realized how much that interview would take out of him.

Vera glanced over, saw that his colleague was pretty much down for the count, and picked up where Scotty had left off, grabbing a yellow legal pad and asking softly, in detail, how Shawn had carried out the two murders. Lilly knew she should stay for the full confession, and the detective in her desperately wanted to…

…but the heartbroken woman in her had to get out of there. Had to go find someplace to sort through her thoughts…to see if she really could go through with this.

Her colleagues glanced up at her in alarm as she whirled abruptly and fled the observation room.

"What the hell was that all about?" Miller demanded sharply.

"Beats me," Jeffries replied with a shrug.

"Those two are so damn _stupid_," Miller griped.

"They can be," Jeffries agreed.

"He's so in love with her it's ridiculous," Miller said, her tone grouchy, but the smile that spread across her face belying her words.

"That he is," Jeffries confirmed. "And…I've never seen Lil act like this before."

"Me either," Miller replied softly. "She's in love with him…it's so obvious…dunno why I didn't see it before."

Jeffries grinned broadly at her. "You concedin' defeat, Miller?"

She shot him a fiery glare, but realized he had her. "Guess so," she sighed with a rueful smile. "Think those two fools'll work it out?" she asked, softening her gaze.

"I certainly hope so," Jeffries answered with a warm smile.

They were interrupted by the sound of the door opening as Stillman poked his head into the observation room, concern evident in his sharp, blue-gray eyes.

"Anybody seen Rush?" he asked, stealing a quick glance around the room.

"She just took off," Miller said with a shrug. "Dunno where she went."

"Well, when you do see her," Stillman said sternly, "tell her I'd like to have a talk with her."

"Will do, Boss," Miller said, eyes sparking with curiosity.

"And…send Valens in, when he's done," Stillman added as a final order. "Will…can I chat with you for a minute in my office?"

"Sure thing, John," Jeffries replied. Stillman headed out, and Jeffries followed.

"Wonder what the hell this is about," Kat mused, glancing at Jeffries with a raised eyebrow.

"I got a hunch," Jeffries answered with a smile.

"So…guess maybe I owe you that sixty bucks in my drawer," she said, grinning slyly.

"Maybe you oughta hang onto it for a while," he replied solemnly as he started to leave. "They don't work this out…it just wouldn't be right."

"They don't work what out?" Vera asked, emerging from the interview room, where Scotty was handcuffing Shawn and reading him his rights.

"Lil just took off," Miller replied with a sigh and an exasperated roll of her dark eyes.

"You mean she heard all that…and still took off?" Vera asked with alarm.

"'Fraid so," Miller answered.

Vera sighed in frustration. "Dammit," he groused softly. "I tried."

"_Tried? _Tried what?" Kat echoed in disbelief.

"Tried talkin' to Lil," Vera replied with a shrug.

"You? Nick Vera? Dolin' out relationship advice?" Kat retorted incredulously.

Vera smirked and shrugged. "I'm used to bein' underestimated, Miller," he replied. "But I'll bet you anything those two idiots get back together."

"Anything, huh?" Miller asked, arching a brow. "Even one of your precious donuts?"

"I'll do you one better," Vera challenged. "Coffee."

"Coffee? Like that nasty-ass coffee in the kitchen?" Kat demanded, folding her arms across her chest and shifting her weight to one leg. "That's not a bet. That's just…mean."

"Nope," Vera replied. "Real coffee. Like…from an actual…place that sells coffee," he finished lamely.

"Hmmmm…interesting," Miller purred thoughtfully. "Sounds good…'cause I got me a cravin' for a grande mocha latte with whipped cream, a little cinnamon, and maybe a few of those little chocolate sprinkles."

"That's funny," Vera retorted with a smirk. " 'Cause I was just thinkin' how good a big ol' cup of regular, non-nasty-ass coffee's gonna taste. No whipped cream, no fancy sprinkles, just regular old American coffee. The kind they used to make…before those jackasses at Starbucks decided to ruin everything…"

Vera's rant was interrupted briefly by Scotty emerging from the interview room, leading the handcuffed Shawn by the elbow. He glanced around the observation room, but didn't meet any of his colleagues' eyes, just kept going. They waited until he'd passed, then resumed their conversation.

"So what's our wager?" Miller asked, meeting Vera's gaze.

"I think they'll get back together," Vera mused. "But…if Rush just took off again…might be a while. I'd say by the end of the week, though."

"End of the week?" Miller sputtered. "This is gonna be easier than I thought. End of the day, _tops_."

"Oh, no way in hell," Vera disagreed with a shake of his head. "Valens says he wants the house and the dog and all that crap, and Rush runs off anyway? No way that's gonna work itself out easy."

"I read Valens the riot act in the car this mornin'," Kat proclaimed confidently. "He's gonna grovel his ass off, and everything's gonna be fine."

"No way," Vera argued. "She told me what he said this morning. And Rush knows how to hold a grudge."

"But I got the trump card," Miller retorted triumphantly. "She loves him, fatass."

Vera smiled the most obnoxious, arrogant smirk Kat had ever seen. "Well, I know that. It's obvious. You just figure that out all by yourself? _I_ was the one who told _Lil_."

"You…told Lil she loves Scotty?" Miller repeated, her eyes widening , so astonished that she couldn't even come up with a witty retort to the insult Vera had just launched in her direction.

"Done and done, Miller," he replied, dusting his hands together with a sense of accomplishment. "Now all that's left is for her to figure it out. Which is gonna take a while. So…like I said…end of the week."

"If she knows she loves him," Kat disagreed. "then this ain't gonna take long at all."

"What makes you say that?" Vera demanded.

"Woman's intuition," Kat answered smugly.

Vera sighed huffily and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever," he replied as he headed out of the observation room. That donut in there had been calling his name ever since his balcony confessional with Lil, and it was about damn time. After that, and the interrogation, he figured he definitely had it coming.

"You'd think they'da learned by now not to underestimate me," Miller muttered confidently to herself as she prepared to follow him out.

* * *

Lilly headed blindly down the stairs, reaching an isolated corner of the evidence warehouse before giving free reign to her panic. She stood leaning against one of the shelves, her heart roaring in her ears, the walls closing in, and her breathing rapid and shallow.

_All I ever wanted was the wife…the house…the kids…the dog…the goddamn white picket fence._

_Me, too._

Lilly hoped beyond all hope that it was just to get a confession, just to get that murdering scumbag to confess…but in her heart of hearts, she knew it wasn't. Scotty been engaged to Elisa. Rosalia had told her that much. He'd shown up one night with a diamond ring to prove to her that he wasn't going anywhere.

Which, was, of course, what Lilly feared most: that he'd leave her. But she suddenly realized that she was terrified, perhaps even more terrified…of him _not _leaving her.

If she told him she loved him, which she desperately ached to do…she was signing up for all that. Wasn't she? Wasn't she obligated to promise him all sorts of things she wasn't even sure she wanted, just so he wouldn't leave? That didn't seem right.

Lilly knew, in her heart of hearts…that if she ever did decide she wanted those things, that idyllic dream she'd all but given up on…it would be with Scotty. She knew that there wouldn't be anyone else for her. 

She knew she would never again love someone the way she loved Scotty; never be as happy, never laugh as much, never feel as much love…as she had with him. But she loved him too much to trap him in a relationship where he couldn't have the things he wanted, the things he deserved, the things Lilly knew he was fully capable of giving someone.

_I love him_…Lilly mused. _So do I hang onto him, swallow my fears, pretend these things don't scare the crap out of me, and hope that someday I'll come around and give him what he wants? Or do I let him go, so he can go find happiness with someone whole, someone healed, someone who's…not scared?_

Lilly realized, as she glanced around wildly, that she didn't like either one of those options. Acting like she wasn't scared…well, that hadn't worked. Ever since the beginning, she'd been swallowing her fears, hiding them, sweeping them under the rug, pretending they weren't there so she didn't have to deal with them…ignoring them so that maybe they'd go away. And that hadn't exactly been a success. She hadn't been able to keep herself from falling in love with Scotty, and she also hadn't been able to keep herself from being absolutely petrified by that very fact.

A sudden memory flashed into her mind, another memory from Tennessee…one hot day in August, when Lilly was nineteen and on the back of Ray's bike. With the wind in her hair and Philadelphia hundreds of miles in the rear-view mirror, Lilly felt free for the first time in her life. Ray was her ticket out, her road to freedom. He was the only one who knew her darkest secrets, the only one who knew her inside and out, and on a whim, he'd proposed.

_Wanna get married?_ he'd asked with a flirtatious grin, as casually and informally as he'd asked her if she wanted to get fried chicken that day for lunch.

_Married_? She'd been taken aback at first, but had then agreed, with a dazzling smile and a casual shrug. Hey, if it didn't work out, she could always get a divorce, just like her mom had.

But the closer they got to the courthouse, the more terrified Lilly felt. Divorce certainly wasn't the cure-all people made it out to be…in fact, her mother's first divorce had been what plunged her into booze in the first place, and each subsequent divorce made the drinking that much worse. Lilly's mother, it seemed, was always doomed to be alone, despite the fact that she fought it with tooth and nail, leaping from guy to guy with a pathetic sense of panicked desperation. And Lilly knew she didn't want to end up like her mom. _Maybe, _she'd thought back then, _maybe I'm just supposed to be alone. Maybe it'd be better if I didn't fight it._

By the time they'd reached the courthouse, she was nearly paralyzed with fear. Ray seemed to be having second thoughts, too, as he'd made no move to get off that bike. Neither did she, and for the longest time, the two of them just sat there, the Harley rumbling softly beneath them, the gentle breeze blowing their hair, Lilly's arms still around Ray's waist, neither of them daring to say a word or move a muscle.

Finally, Lilly had broken the silence. _Ray…_she'd said _…I'm not sure I wanna do this._

Ray had sighed with a relief she'd never seen from anyone, before or since, and had whispered, _Thank God. Me neither…it's that I don't love you, Lil…'cause I do…but…we're not ready. Maybe…someday,_ he'd said. Lilly had been just as relieved, and he'd kicked the bike into gear and taken them to a bar, the courthouse a distant memory by evening's end. Neither of them had really ever spoken of it again, but that night, over burgers and Bud Light at the dingy bar they'd found, Lilly thought, with the simplicity of youth, that if she ever did decide to get married...it'd be to Ray.

But Ray had never asked again, and they'd drifted apart. And then Patrick had showed up…and she'd been willing to spend forever with him…but that hadn't worked out, either.

And then there was Scotty. He wasn't asking her for forever yet. He hadn't proposed, and Lilly knew him well enough to know that he wasn't going to until he knew she was ready. But…that didn't change the fact that he wanted to just the same. He'd said as much. That's what he wanted from her…

…and she couldn't give it to him.

Trying to distract herself from her swirling thoughts, Lilly felt her eyes traveling over the rows upon rows of evidence boxes. Many, many of them had been marked CLOSED, and she felt a sense of satisfaction as she glanced around at boxes she'd marked, boxes she'd help seal up and lay to rest. Who knew when she'd be down here again? She was going back out on the line, where they created new evidence boxes rather than dig up old ones. She took a second to congratulate herself on all the cases they'd solved, all the many boxes that hadn't been marked CLOSED when she started that were now.

Her eyes lit on one particular box, a box with a single name written on the end. A name she'd written.

_Daniela._

Lilly smiled slightly as she remembered that case, the case of a transgendered woman who'd disappeared in 1979. Something Daniela's boyfriend had said to her floated up from the deepest recesses of her memory.

_It only happens once, _he'd said. _You only get one chance. You don't walk away when it happens._

_When what happens? _Lilly had asked.

_When you find the one you've been looking for all along._

An unbidden tear coursed down her cheek, and she brushed it away and hastily looked for another box, some box that wouldn't remind her of where she was and why she was terrified and in pain. She glanced up at one at random, and shuddered when she read the name on it.

_Lambert, J._

Janet Lambert had been a victim of George Marks, one of Philadelphia's most notorious serial killers, who had been working as a file clerk in their very own building, whose life Lilly had taken that night in the woods. Lilly avoided thinking about that night whenever she could. It was too much for her to deal with, so she just…didn't.

But George wasn't who came to mind today, thank God. Instead, Lilly remembered a conversation she'd had with Janet's daughter, Susan. Scotty had stepped away to take a call during their interview, and it was just Lilly and Susan sitting there. Seeing the pain in Susan's eyes, Lilly had tried to reassure her.

_It wasn't your fault…what happened to your mom_, she'd said.

Susan had looked at her, brown eyes dark with pain and regret_. If I could have that moment back_, she'd begun, with a trace of bitterness in her voice, _I would have told her._

_What_? Lilly had pressed.

At that moment, Lilly saw Susan not as the beautiful woman she'd become, but as the sweet-faced child she'd been.

_That I loved her, too,_ Susan had answered.

_That's all you get in life, _Lilly mused. _Moments. And you don't get any of them back._

She was startled from her reverie by the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Quickly, she scrubbed the remnants of her tears from her face, hoping to God her mascara hadn't run and made her look like a raccoon. Usually, she didn't bother with waterproof, because usually, she didn't burst into tears in the middle of a workday. She smiled wryly despite her pain.

The smile turned to paralyzing fear when she caught a whiff of familiar aftershave and realized who it was that had come into the evidence warehouse.

She was hidden well enough that there was no way Scotty would see her unless he looked in her direction, which he didn't. He was merely carrying a pair of evidence boxes to their final resting place on the shelf, another pair of cases solved, another couple of families with some sense of closure. Closure. What the hell _was_ that, anyway?

Heart pounding, she hoped he wouldn't look in her direction, and he didn't. She wasn't sure whether he'd look at her with contempt, as he had earlier, or pain, as he had most recently, and frankly, she couldn't handle either look. She could tell he didn't even know she was there, but the defeated slump of his shoulders told her the truth just as clearly as his eyes would have. He never looked defeated after solving a case. Never. Especially not lately.

Tears stung her eyes as she realized, again, how badly she'd hurt him. She was terrified that he wouldn't forgive her, but also terrified that he would, that he'd want to get back together…but if he did, he'd want forever.

Scotty finished his task and turned his back to her, started to go back the way he'd come, back up the stairs. Lilly's heart pounded wildly; if she let him walk away, who knew what he'd do? Who knew whether she'd ever have another chance? Her application for transfer was on Stillman's desk, she knew that in another day or two she'd be back out on the line, out of the squad and out of Scotty's life, but she realized that running away wasn't going to solve her problems.

Running away wasn't going to make her stop loving Scotty Valens.

_You don't walk away when it happens._

_I'd tell her…that I loved her, too._

The words tore from her throat, almost a sob, before she could stop them, before her fears could convince her to do otherwise.

"Scotty…wait."


	38. All I Have To Offer You Is Me

**Disclaimer: Thirty-eight chapters in, and I still haven't managed to procure these characters. Sigh.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: All I Have To Offer You Is Me**

Hearing the familiar voice nearly made Scotty jump out of his skin. Dammit, that was the second time that day she'd startled him. All he wanted to do was put those evidence boxes away, go talk to Stillman, who had surely, by now, found his transfer request, and be done with this whole mess. He hadn't had a clue Lilly was even in there. How in the hell did she keep doing that? What the hell kind of cop was he if people kept sneaking up on him like that?

He willed himself to keep walking, because whatever it was she had to say couldn't possibly make him feel any better, feel any different…it wouldn't change a damn thing. If he could just keep putting one foot in front of the other, he could go back up those stairs, clean out his desk, and get the hell out of there. If he could just keep moving, he would never have to see Lilly Rush again.

His stern mental coaching, however, fell on the deaf ears of his heart, which suddenly took over and ground his feet to a halt. In a flash, his legs were made of lead, and he couldn't move another step if his life depended on it.

Lilly's heart leaped into her throat. He'd stopped. He hadn't turned around; hadn't looked in her direction, hadn't given her any indication that he'd even heard her…but he'd stopped. She saw the rise and fall of Scotty's shoulders as he seemed to sigh in defeat, but he didn't say anything.

Neither did she.

Looking at Scotty, seeing the tension in his body, she felt all her newfound bravery suddenly bleeding out of her as quickly as it had come.

Crap.

Lilly mentally chastised herself for her sudden cowardice. She couldn't back out now. She'd called to him, and he'd stopped. She _had _to talk to him; had to find out what he really wanted from her…so she could figure out what the hell she was going to do about it.

She took a deep breath and tried to calm her frantic nerves. _You can do this, Rush. Just pretend he's a suspect._

"I need to ask you something," she said, the emotion of her previous exclamation now gone, replaced by far more confidence and composure than she actually felt.

Scotty didn't respond, but neither did he turn around. He stood, frozen to the spot, and Lilly fought the irritation that rose up in her chest.

"The house…the wife…the kids…the dog…you really want all that?" she asked softly, each syllable encased in the tone she used with suspects.

Scotty sighed in frustration. Why the hell did she have to go poking at his wounds with a stick? Why did it matter? What difference did it make to her?

"Why the hell do you care?" he demanded angrily, without turning around.

Inwardly, Lilly began to fume, and she clenched both fists in an effort to fight back her frustration. Scotty was bound and determined to make this difficult for her, wasn't he? She took a moment, composed herself with a deep breath, and continued.

"Just answer the question," she ordered coolly.

He turned around then, met her gaze, and had to fight with everything he had to keep from just punching the crap out of a couple of evidence boxes. That damn Ice Queen look was back, her true emotions forever walled off, and the icy look in Lilly's eyes confirmed, to Scotty, that she was indeed just interrogating him for sport. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take, and wanted desperately to just get out of there, but for some reason, his legs refused to propel him back up the stairs and out into the squad room. He did still owe her an apology, his conscience reminded him, using, for some strange and disconcerting reason, the voice of Kat Miller, and he wouldn't be allowed to leave the evidence warehouse until he could do that. But the interrogation he was getting from Lilly was making that apology damn hard to even come up with, let alone verbalize.

"Was all that just to get a confession, or is it what you really want?" she asked, a bit softer this time.

Scotty nearly laughed. What the hell was the point in telling her the truth? What would be the point in telling her how much he ached for something that would never happen, that yet again, he was facing the rest of his life without the woman he loved? Because, even if Lilly wanted those things, which he had to admit wasn't likely, she sure as hell didn't want them with him.

"It was just to get the damn confession," he lied, trying hard to keep his swirling emotions out of his voice. "You know that as well as I do. Ain't you claimed some pretty outlandish things to get stuff outta doers?" he asked.

"Dammit, Scotty," Lilly cried in frustration before she could stop herself, startling him yet again in the process.

She sighed once more, then changed tactics. "Please…please don't lie to me," she asked, her voice soft and plaintive.

Something in her tone, something in the way she practically begged him for honesty, forced Scotty to reconsider. Honesty. He owed her that much. He loved her more than he could ever say, loved her so much it hurt…he at least owed her the truth. With a sense of wry amusement, he realized it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference, anyway, so why lie?

"Fine," he sighed, the anger bleeding out of him, at least momentarily. "Yeah. I want all that."

Lilly felt her heart sink to the floor. It was just as she'd feared. He wanted all those things…things she couldn't give him. It didn't matter if she loved him. She couldn't promise him forever…and forever was what he wanted. He deserved to have what he wanted. He deserved to be with someone who could make that happen. All the wisdom of the previous few minutes seemed to fly out the window in a gale of panic, and she felt the walls starting to close in again.

"We done here?" he asked her, waiting only briefly before turning to go. He had to get out of there before he did or said something he'd regret.

Lilly couldn't speak. The tears were stinging her eyes, and the lump in her throat was too much for her to talk around. She just turned away from him and rested a hand on an evidence box, hoping to God that she wouldn't lose it completely until Scotty had left the room. She sensed him hesitating for a second, then she heard his retreating footsteps, heard them starting to climb the metal stairs, and she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He was leaving. It was over. It was really over.

Scotty forced his burning legs up the steps. God, those stairs were brutal. Not usually, of course, but after however long he'd skipped rope the night before, each step was agony. He paused for a second, just to give his overused muscles a brief respite from the pain, and heard something he'd never heard before in his life. Something he wasn't even sure was possible…and for a brief second, he thought he had to be mistaken. Had to be making it up.

Nope…he wasn't making it up. Lilly Rush…was crying.

Softly…he only heard a couple of sniffles and a quiet sob…but the sound was unmistakable. The Ice Queen had finally thawed.

Completely dumbfounded, Scotty turned around slowly. From his vantage point halfway up the stairs, he could see her clearly, leaning one hand against an evidence box for support, her flaxen hair falling around her face in a silky curtain, her free hand brushing away her tears. It was heartbreaking, yet absolutely beautiful, and for a moment, he was utterly motionless.

The sound of another sob pierced his heart like an arrow, and he felt his own tears springing, unbidden, into his eyes. Kat Miller's earlier words echoed in his mind. _I saw her this mornin', too, Scotty. Whatever runnin' she did, it's hurtin' her, too. You ain't the only one in pain today, believe me_.

He hadn't believed Miller…not really. And he'd been a damn fool. Again. Because Lil was in pain…pain that he'd caused. He had to apologize.

Slowly, tentatively, Scotty headed back down the stairs and approached Lilly with caution. Every ounce of his compassion wanted to gather her into his arms, let her cry on his shoulder, and kiss the hurt away…but every ounce of his pride forced him to resist. Who the hell knew whether she'd even let him touch her?

He stopped a few feet from her, and he knew she could sense his presence, because all of a sudden she froze, not moving a muscle.

"Please…just go away," she said in a small, broken voice.

"I ain't leavin', Lil," Scotty replied with quiet stubbornness, ignoring, for the moment, that he was about to do just that, that this was his last day in Homicide, that as soon as he left that squad room, he'd be holed up in his apartment for a couple of weeks, waiting for the department to decide where in the world they could put a rogue detective complete with boundary issues, a bad attitude, and a broken heart.

"No, go ahead," Lilly insisted, a touch of anger evident through her tears. "It's what you're good at."

Ouch. Her comment stung like hell, but Scotty knew he had it coming.

"Lil," he began tentatively. "I'm sorry….God…I don't know what got into me this mornin'…I never shoulda said that…I was…I just wanted to hit back…but that ain't an excuse. Lil…you gotta believe me…I never wanna hurt you. That's the last thing I ever wanna do. I'm…sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," she said quietly.

_Lil_ was apologizing? That nearly knocked Scotty off his feet, and the curiosity overwhelmed him. What the hell did she have to apologize for?

"For what?" he blurted out, before he could stop himself, then silently cursed his inability to remain cool.

Lilly took a deep, shaky breath and turned to face him, brushing away the remnants of her tears from her flushed cheeks.

"I'm sorry…that I can't give you the things you want," she began, her voice wavering slightly. "I…I wish I could. I wish I could promise you the house, and the kids, and the white picket fence…I wish I could promise you forever."

Scotty's eyes widened in shock. Of all the things he expected Lilly Rush to say to him today, that…that was about the last. What the hell did she mean, exactly…she wished she could promise him forever? His breath caught in his throat, and his heart pounded even faster than it had been. _Don't get your hopes up, Valens,_ a voice warned. _Wishin' she could and actually bein' able to are two completely different things._

He couldn't respond right away…he could only stand and stare in disbelief.

Lilly met his stunned gaze, and he realized, after a moment, that the Ice Queen look was gone. Her eyes shone with unshed tears, sadness, and, if he wasn't mistaken, a tiny bit of fear. Scotty was touched that she was letting him in that much. She'd thrown him a beautiful pitch, laid it right over the plate, and it was up to him to deliver.

"I ain't gonna lie to you, Lil…I want…forever," he began slowly, praying fervently that he wouldn't say something stupid to screw this up. "But…I only want it with you. I ain't gonna go…propose to somebody just 'cause I want kids or somethin'," he explained, fumbling for the right words. "Hell, I didn't even believe in forever…not anymore…not after…" He stopped. He didn't want to mention Elisa's name. Not here. Not now.

"Not 'till you," he finished, almost in a whisper.

Lilly's heart melted, and for a brief instant, she wanted to just run into his arms and never let him go. But she stood still, knowing she'd only wind up breaking his heart again.

"But…I can't promise you forever," Lilly protested tearfully, the panic evident in her voice once more. "I…_suck _at relationships, Scotty. I panic, I sabotage things, I run away…I hurt you."

Scotty couldn't say anything. What she was saying, well…it was true. She did panic, she did sabotage things, she did run away…she did hurt him. But…before all that, she'd made him happier than he ever thought he had any right to be, happier than he'd ever thought possible. He opened his mouth to say that, or at least something to that effect, he hoped, but she wasn't finished.

"All I can promise…" she began, then the words caught in her throat, and she couldn't continue.

She met Scotty's eyes once more, and the look in their infinite depths, though guarded, was full of enough warmth and tenderness that it gave her the strength to finish her thought.

"All I can promise you…is…me," she said softly, with a slight, nervous laugh.

Scotty could have sworn his heart stopped beating. She was promising…_her_? A wild hope suddenly surged in his chest, but he angrily beat it down. _She just said she can't promise you forever, Valens. Ain't you been payin' attention?_

"For how long?" he asked her, a little more harshly than he intended. "A week? A month? Then what?"

It was Lilly's turn to freeze. Scotty was using the exact same words Joseph had used a few months earlier. Joseph had wanted forever, too. Joseph had wanted her to put a timetable on it. And when she couldn't… he wasn't even willing to let them try.

The room started to spin again. Scotty was going to do exactly the same thing as Joseph. He was going to turn around and walk away…again. Lilly's brain shrieked at her to say something, _anything, _because her silence last time…that had been her downfall…that had made Joseph walk away and break her heart…

Scotty saw the deep hurt in Lilly's sapphire eyes and instantly regretted his words. He wasn't sure why they'd brought her so much pain, but there was no denying that they had. Dammit. Would he never figure out how to keep from hurting this woman?

"I'm askin'," he continued, swallowing hard, "'cause…I can't do this again."

"Do what?" Lilly asked him softly, terror piercing her heart. This was it. He was walking away for good.

"I can't…go through you leavin' again," Scotty answered huskily.

He looked up at her then, and she could see his pain in the depths of his dark eyes.

"My heart…" he started, not wanting to add to her burdens, but knowing that unless he said this, he was setting himself up for another roller-coaster ride, one that he wasn't sure he'd survive.

He took a deep breath, steeled himself, and finished his thought. "My heart can't take bein' broken anymore," he stated simply, looking at the floor, unable to bear the sadness he saw in her eyes for another second.

"I know," she said softly, the syllables filled with remorse. "And…mine can't, either."

Scotty's head snapped up then. Something in her words…something in her tone…there was something electric shimmering in the air between them that gave him a tiny bit of hope.

"What are you sayin', Lil?" he asked quietly. Was it possible that she wasn't giving up on them? Could it be that…maybe they weren't over?

"I can't promise you forever," she repeated, smiling slightly. It was a timid, tremulous smile, but it was a smile nonetheless. "But I can promise you…me. Because, Scotty…" she looked deep into his eyes, the emotions coursing through her body. She wanted to remember, for better or for worse, his reaction to what she was about to tell him.

_This is it, Rush. You get that moment back._

"…I love you, too."

If he thought his heart had stopped beating before, Scotty was certain it had now. She…_loved _him? No way in hell had she just said that. He was imagining it. Had to be.

But as he gazed into her soulful sapphire eyes, he saw the truth shining there, like a brilliant beacon of light. Oh, she meant it, all right. He'd never seen love like this reflected from anyone's eyes before. Lilly Rush was letting her guard down, at least for that moment, and the depth of love he saw stole his breath and nearly knocked him backwards.

He wasn't imagining it. He'd heard her right.

She loved him.

Scotty gazed at her in wonder, unable to speak, breathe, or move. He could only stare, taking in the tears that still shimmered in her eyes and clung to the ends of her long lashes like diamonds, her pink cheeks, her beautiful blonde hair, and that smile…shaky and apprehensive though it was. Love flooded his heart, and he swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.

Suddenly regaining his mobility, he closed the gap between them in about a step, gently grasping her elbows. "Oh, Lil…" he breathed reverently, looking deep into her eyes. "Are you sure?"

A stronger, more confident smile filled her face, the most heart-meltingly beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Not trusting her voice, Lilly merely nodded.

With a sigh, Scotty gathered her into his arms gently, not wanting to break whatever fragile thing it was that had made her open her heart to him. He breathed in the scent of her hair, of her skin, of _her_, the scent that he thought he'd never inhale again, and let the breath out shakily.

"Then why the hell ain't we together?" he asked into her hair, the tears stinging his eyes.

Lilly pulled away from him and met his gaze. "Because you want things I can't promise you."

"Lil," Scotty began, his heart in his voice as he brushed a stray tendril of blonde hair away from her face. "I want what you just promised…God, Lil, I just want you. I just wanna be with you, be by your side…be your friend, be your boyfriend…be your soul mate. Be what we were before I went and screwed it all up."

"You didn't screw it up, Scotty," Lilly insisted firmly. "You needed to tell me how you felt, and I needed to hear it. I have trouble believing people…when they say they love me…but you…you really do."

"More than…more than I ever thought possible," Scotty added, wanting desperately to pull her into his arms again and just lose himself in her. They could work out the damn details, the terms and conditions, all that other crap later. He just wanted…her.

But he knew that if he gave in then, they'd never talk about things…and they'd be right back where they were in a week, a month…whatever.

Lilly stood there, wrestling with the thoughts that swirled around in her head. Suddenly, a memory crystallized, one from a month earlier, when they'd brought their Nashville fling back to Philly. They'd stood in her kitchen, and she'd admitted to being scared, hating herself for her weakness, but knowing that Scotty deserved the truth from her. What was so different now? Instead of weakening her, confessing her fear had made her stronger. She realized, with a pang of guilt, that that was the only time she'd been honest with him about her fears…and, because she'd let him in…that was the only time she hadn't had to sweep her panic under the rug and pretend it wasn't there. If she could do that again...this might work.

Decision made, Lilly took a deep breath, her voice soft, but infused with a new confidence.

"Scotty…I love you so much it scares me," she admitted. "I…I don't have any idea how to handle it, and I'm so afraid I'm gonna screw it up again."

Scotty was touched, and gazed at her tenderly.

"Oh, Lil…you ain't the only one," he said softly, lifting her chin and caressing it gently with his thumb.

"Yeah?" Lilly asked him, her tone hopeful.

"I'm ….terrified," Scotty confessed in a whisper. "I ain't exactly had the best of luck, either, ya know," he reminded her, with a slight rueful grin.

Relief coursed through Lilly's veins. The fact that Scotty was scared, too…well, that made it easier, somehow, and gave her the boldness she needed to continue.

"But I'm not gonna let my fears rule over me anymore," she declared, her voice quiet, but determined, gaining strength with each word. "I'm gonna…tell you…when I'm scared. Instead of just running away. I'm done with running. Because this…what we have…I don't care what it costs, I can't lose you. Not again. And I want…to want the things you want. Deep down, I think…maybe I do...no. I do want those things. Some of them, anyway. Maybe…eventually. Someday…we can figure it out later…" she trailed off, realizing she was rambling incoherently. She stopped with a slightly self-deprecating smile, looked down at the floor for a minute, took a deep breath, then met his gaze again.

"But, Scotty…" she continued softly, taking his hands in hers, "I…I'm in this. Whatever happens…wherever it goes. You're…you're it for me…it just took…losing you to make me realize that."

Scotty couldn't believe what he was hearing. He just stared at her, his breath coming in short, shallow pants, his heart racing. She looked back at him, smiling through her tears, and her brow suddenly creased with compassion.

"What?" he finally managed to ask.

"You're crying," Lilly replied in surprise, with a tremulous smile.

Was he? He didn't think he was. But she reached up and gently thumbed a tear away from his cheek, so he guessed he must have been. He didn't care. She let her hand rest on his cheekbone for a minute, and he stood there, gazing into her eyes, and then gathered her to his chest again, knowing that he could be here like this, holding her in a corner of the evidence room for the rest of his days and he would die a happy man. He felt her shudder, heard a quiet sob from her, and held her even closer.

"Scotty," she said through her tears, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,"

"Me too," he answered quietly, pressing a kiss into her hair.

"I love you," she continued. "I really, really love you."

Scotty could only hold her, wondering how she'd reached this conclusion, wondering what had happened to her to make her open up to him like this, wanting to fall to his knees and thank God for…whatever the hell it was that made Lilly love him…but not wanting to let go of her long enough to do that. He inhaled deeply of that delicious flowery shampoo she always used, gripped her tightly, relished the warmth of her skin through her thin white blouse. She was his. She loved him. The emotions tumbled around within his heart, begging to be voiced, but Scotty realized, with some irony, that now, after all these weeks when he couldn't say anything…now that he had free reign to tell Lilly exactly how he felt about her, exactly what she meant to him…

…he couldn't say a word.

They stood there in silence, letting their embrace say what their words couldn't. Finally, Scotty found his voice.

"God, Lil…" he breathed. "I love you so much."

Joy sang through Lilly's veins. She clung to him fiercely, a flood of love coursing throughout her whole body. But she couldn't move too fast…she couldn't continue to pretend she wasn't scared, she couldn't keep just going along with things because she thought it'd make him happy. She lifted her head from his shoulder and met his eyes once more.

"But, Scotty…baby steps?" she asked, almost pleading.

Baby steps. He could do baby steps. He'd baby step from here to the moon if that's what it took. Anything she wanted. As long as there was hope…he could do baby steps.

"Oh, Lil," he sighed, the love shining from his eyes. "Whatever the future looks like…white picket fence or not…all I want is you."

"And…all I want…is you," she echoed, still a tiny bit afraid of the truth, but knowing deep in her soul that the truth…was exactly what she needed to tell him.

Scotty looked at her incredulously, not believing what he'd just heard, but seeing the truth of her words shimmering in her sapphire eyes. Quickly, somewhat fearful that she might change her mind, he lowered his head and sought her lips, and when he found them, the last remaining traces of his heartbreak were swept into oblivion by a wave of joy. Scotty's heart swelled, feeling like it would burst with the flood of love that welled up inside. She tasted even more deliciously sweet than before, felt even more wonderful, and he became aware of a drop of moisture on his cheek. He didn't know whether it was one of her tears or one of his, but he didn't much care. His heart thundered as their tongues met, and his knees buckled with the powerful onslaught of his emotions.

Lilly felt Scotty's hands tangling in her hair and she moaned softly, sensing in his passionate kisses the true depth of his love for her. Now that she was letting him in, she was astounded at the intensity of his feelings for her, thrilled to the core by how much he truly loved her. God, why had she almost walked away from this? Her heart pounded as she clutched him fiercely, inhaling his scent, tasting his lips, never, ever wanting to let go of him again. She had no idea it was possible to feel this much love for another person, and a few minutes ago, that would have scared her, but now, it seemed to shatter her fears and make her stronger.

As the passion continued to build, their kisses grew hungrier and more desperate. Scotty suddenly spun Lilly around and pressed her up against the shelf, against the stack of boxes, and tore his lips from hers to kiss her neck, inhaling her delicious scent and breathlessly whispering, "I love you," against her skin over and over between kisses. He slipped his hands beneath the back of her blouse, feeling the heat and smoothness of her satiny skin, and thought he might die from the pleasure.

"_Te quiero_," he whispered, and molten desire shot through Lilly's veins.

She laughed breathlessly. "What's that mean, anyway?" she asked him.

"Means I love you," he answered against her neck, and she felt her heart starting to melt.

He pressed a few more feverish kisses to her porcelain skin, then whispered, "_Mi corazon_."

"And that?" she gasped as she loosened his tie.

"My heart," he answered, and happy tears began to sting her eyes again.

"_Mi alma_," he breathed, as he brushed aside the collar of her blouse and his lips blazed a trail toward her clavicle while her fingers frantically worked at the knot in his tie. "My soul," he added, not waiting for her to prompt him.

She kissed him desperately once more as she stripped his tie from his neck and threw it somewhere, not knowing or caring where it landed. He grinned against her lips and whispered, "_Eres el amor de mi vida._" He blazed a few more frantic kisses against the curve of her jawline before translating huskily, "You're the love of my life, Lil."

"Oh, God, Scotty," she cried, her tears of joy finally spilling over, then twined her tongue around his while unbuttoning his striped dress shirt. Scotty's hands slipped lower to cup Lilly as he ground up against her, moaning in ecstasy as her fingers splayed across his chest, separated from his burning skin only by the thin fabric of his T-shirt. She gasped as she felt the swollen proof of his desire pressing against her oversensitive center through her clothing, and the room began to spin.

Three loud _thwacks_ shattered their bubble as evidence boxes tumbled to the floor and served as an unwelcome reminder of where they were.

"Holy shit!" a loud, gravelly voice exclaimed.

"Mother of God," quickly followed.

"Oh, sweet Lord…" a deep, velvety voice finished.

Scotty froze, then slowly released his claim on Lilly's neck, trying in vain to catch his breath, to stop the room from whirling around him, to calm his frantic heartbeat. Lilly's eyes widened with fright as they focused on something over his shoulder, and he turned slowly to see Vera, Miller, and Jeffries standing there, evidence boxes at their feet where they'd been dropped. Miller's eyes sparkled with amusement, Jeffries stood there, a faint smile playing on his face, and Vera, from whom Scotty had expected to see that trademark shit-eating grin, merely stood there, eyes and mouth agape in shock.

Scotty cleared his throat, stepped away from Lilly, and glanced at his colleagues with a sheepish smile as he inhaled shakily and buttoned his shirt. Lilly didn't meet their eyes, just self-consciously smoothed her blouse, brushed away her tears, and shook out her hair. Her already flushed cheeks turned an even brighter pink as she frantically tried to erase the evidence of what they'd seen. How much _had_ they seen? She was horrified at the thought.

Miller finally broke the silence. "That's the one thing I've missed about Narcotics," she remarked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Workin' cold jobs, you almost never catch someone in the act."

Jeffries found his voice next. "I take you two have…patched things up?" he asked, not looking directly at them.

Scotty couldn't help smiling as he smoothed his hair. "Looks that way," he replied. He stole a glance at Lilly, who returned his smile bravely, and, encouraged, he put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. She didn't lean away, but broke into one of the most dazzling smiles he'd ever seen. He was elated.

"Thank God," Vera finally said. "'Cause I can't take any more of Scotty's singin'."

Singing? What singing? When the hell had there been singing? Lilly threw Scotty a confused glance.

"I'll explain later," Scotty muttered sheepishly. "You ain't never gonna let me live that one down, are you?" he asked Vera.

"Nope," Vera replied with a smile.

Scotty squeezed Lilly's shoulders, glancing at her for confirmation. Her shining blue eyes told him all he needed to know, and he took a deep breath.

"You all might be gettin' new partners soon," he said with a smile,"'cause me and Lil are partners now in a different sense, and IAD probably ain't gonna like that too much."

"That reminds me," Miller interrupted. "Boss is lookin' for you two."

Scotty and Lilly exchanged worried glances, but Miller reassured them. "We haven't told him anything," she replied. "But you all got until the end of today, and then we're tellin' him whether you have or not, 'cause this…" she said, motioning between the two of them with a finger, "…this ain't gonna fly. You gotta come clean."

Lilly smiled sheepishly up at Scotty, and he returned her smile. "We do," she agreed. "It's long past time."

"You, uh...might wanna take a few minutes before you go up there," Miller suggested. "Get yourselves back in some kinda order."

"We'll just tell him you're putting away the rest of the boxes," Jeffries added smoothly. He indicated the three discarded boxes on the floor with a jerk of his head, then motioned for Vera and Miller to follow as he climbed the steps and left the warehouse, smiling to himself and shaking his head slowly. He'd known all along…and while the changes in the squad would require some adjustment…he was truly happy they'd worked things out.

Vera headed up the stairs, and Miller turned to follow, but stopped when she spotted a blue silk tie crumpled at the bottom of the steps. She looked over at Lilly and Scotty, who were still trying to regain their composure, stole a glance at Vera, who had also stopped, and grinned at him impishly.

"Hey, Man Candy," she called, bending down to retrieve the tie from the floor. "This belong to you?"

Without waiting for a reply, she hurled it across the room, impressed, and simultaneously somewhat disgusted, at how far away from her amorous colleagues that tie had landed. She had no idea how it had flown that far, and she really didn't want to know.

Scotty caught his tie with a cocky grin. "Thanks, Miller," he replied as he flipped up his shirt collar and draped the tie around his neck.

Lilly glanced up at him quizzically. "Man Candy?" she repeated softly.

"I'll tell you later," Scotty answered, his cocky grin turning slightly sheepish.

Miller laughed softly as she and Vera turned and headed back up the stairs.

"Holy shit," Vera muttered again.

"Tell me about it," Miller replied.

"Those two idiots have got no idea how to have a secret relationship," Vera whispered, winking at Miller.

She smiled at him mischievously. "Nope…not a clue."

**A/N: Squee to your hearts' content. I know I am. **


	39. Amazed

**A/N: Special thanks to lsr from the Look Again board for providing some helpful, real-life information! **

**Also, if this story had a theme song, it would be "Lost," by Faith Hill. The words are just perfect.**

**Disclaimer: Anybody wanna buy 'em for me?**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Nine: Amazed **

"Okay, before we go upstairs, I have two questions for you, Valens," Lilly said, grinning broadly.

"Go for it," Scotty replied, fumbling with the knot in his tie while gazing into his girlfriend's eyes. The love he saw shining there was practically blinding in its intensity, and he couldn't get enough.

"When was there singing, and why is Kat Miller calling you Man Candy?" she asked, trying to sound cool and icy like she did in the interview room, but failing miserably. At that moment, she was pathologically incapable of keeping the joy out of her voice.

"The singin'…" Scotty began slowly, grinning almost sheepishly as Lilly straightened his tie and let her hand linger there on his chest. "Apparently, last night…I got…kinda drunk…and I guess when I get enough in me…I sing."

Lilly giggled. "Dare I ask what?" she inquired, eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Country, apparently," Scotty answered. Lilly, who had been fussing with his hair, trying hard to eliminate the evidence of their warehouse indiscretions, burst into gales of helpless laughter.

"I'm sorry," she managed to gasp between giggles. "It's not funny…really, it isn't…but…" she trailed off, still laughing. "You _hate _country!"

"Yeah, well," Scotty shrugged. "Get me drunk enough, guess I'll do pretty much anything. Hell, you got me to dance country," he reminded her.

"Sure did," she replied, looking over at him, tears of mirth sparkling in her blue eyes as she recalled the night in Nashville that had started it all. Remembering the almost obscene number of times Scotty had stepped on her foot that night, she couldn't help a few extra giggles that escaped her lips, and Scotty was absolutely enchanted. Her laughter was music to his ears. He didn't care one bit that it was at his expense. If Lil was laughing, then all was right in his universe.

"And the whole Man Candy thing?" she asked with a smile.

Scotty sighed. "That…car trip. This mornin'. Miller talked some sense into me…and lemme tell you, that woman's got a helluva way of makin' a point." He shuddered as he remembered the sixteen-car pileup she'd nearly caused. "Anyway…she called me a screwed-up piece of man candy."

Lilly looked at him and burst into giggles again, then quickly composed herself and took a deep breath. She couldn't face her boss like a giddy schoolgirl. Finally, she turned to Scotty.

"Ready to go upstairs?" she asked him.

"Not so fast, Rush," Scotty said with a cocky grin. "I got a couple questions of my own, y'know."

"Yeah?" Lilly asked, suddenly unsure of where he was going with this.

"What changed your mind?" Scotty asked her softly, gazing into her eyes.

Lilly broke into another dazzling smile. "Your friend Rosalia…and then Vera," she replied, thoroughly enjoying the complete and utter surprise that flickered over Scotty's face.

Scotty's head began to spin. Rosalia? When the hell…? _How _the hell…? And Vera? _Nick Vera_?

A bemused grin lifted the corners of Scotty's mouth, and he leaned against the evidence boxes, blocking her escape from the aisle. "Okay, you gotta explain that one."

"Which one?" Lilly asked, arching a brow.

"Well…both of 'em," Scotty answered, still amazed at the love that radiated from her eyes, and drinking it in like a man dying of thirst.

Lilly grinned. "I was out for a walk last night…to kinda think things over, y'know…and ran into Rosalia. She basically told me I'd be an idiot to let you get away."

Scotty beamed. Rosalia was absolutely the best sister a guy could ask for. And she wasn't even his sister. He had no idea what he'd done to merit that kind of luck, but he knew he'd have to write that woman a helluva thank-you note.

Lilly returned his smile and continued. "And earlier today…after I saw you in the elevator, I went out on the balcony, and Vera came out there…he told me not to give up." She giggled slightly. "He told me he thought I loved you…and after he left, I realized he was right."

Scotty stared at her in disbelief, then burst into peals of hearty laughter. Of all the people in the world he thought would knock some sense into Lilly, Nick Vera was about the last. "Guess I better get that guy some donuts or somethin', huh?" he asked with a grin.

"Donuts at least," Lilly smiled back at him.

They gazed into one another's eyes for a moment, basking in the afterglow of their shared laughter, and then Lilly said reluctantly, "We can't hide down here forever."

Scotty sighed. "Guess you're right. Better go get this over with."

As he took her hand and they headed for the stairs, Scotty's elation was pricked by an undercurrent of fear, and he glanced over at Lilly, not wanting to do anything to burst that bubble, but reality insisted upon intruding.

"I dunno what's gonna happen…with our jobs…" he began, but Lilly cut him off.

"Whatever happens, it's fine," she said firmly, starting to climb the stairs. Their second step, though, she heard Scotty inhale sharply, felt him stiffen, and noticed him clenching his jaw.

"Fakin' an injury's not gonna get you outta this, Valens," she remarked with a grin, but the grin turned to a frown of concern as she realized he really was in pain.

"My legs," he admitted, smiling ruefully. "Kinda…overdid it with the rope last night."

Lilly giggled slightly, her brow still creased with compassion. "Was that before or after the singing?" she asked.

"Before," he replied. "'Cause I remember that part."

Lilly laughed again. "Sit down," she ordered him softly.

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Just do it," she said, taking a seat a couple of steps below him. He eased himself to a sitting position and looked at her with curiosity.

"I'm guessin' that all that rope-skipping is my fault," she said smoothly, "so…I'll make it better."

Scotty could only stare in amazement as Lilly began to caress his thigh, and soon, bliss started to radiate from wherever her hands touched him and spread rapidly throughout his whole body. Scotty closed his eyes and moaned softly while she gently kneaded the tension from his aching muscles. Her capable hands worked slowly down his leg, rubbing his calf, and then moved to the other leg. Lilly was thrilled to the core by his soft moans and the relaxation she saw reflected on his face. She hated not being able to take more time, but they really did have to make it upstairs eventually. Besides, she realized…she could always do a better job later.

Scotty sighed in delight as her hands moved up toward his other thigh, then realized that the relaxation was quickly turning to arousal, and knew exactly what would happen if she didn't stop right then. And they couldn't…not here…not now…Boss was waiting for them, and their squirrely co-workers were bound to get suspicious.

With great reluctance, he gently grasped her wrists and opened his eyes. "Lil," he rasped. "You don't stop this…we don't make it upstairs."

She sighed, and he could tell by the look in her eyes that she hated the fact that they were at work every bit as much as he did.

"Well, hope it's better for now, anyway. " She smiled wickedly at him. "I'm definitely gonna give you a more thorough massage later."

"Can't wait," Scotty replied honestly as he grabbed the railing and hauled himself to his feet. His legs still ached, but they were better. Much, much better.

"Thanks," he said softly, giving her a tender kiss on the forehead. Looking deep into her eyes, soaking in the sunshine of her love for a moment, he took her hand, and added, "Time to face the music."

Lilly nodded and smiled, and they started up the stairs together.

* * *

With pounding hearts, Scotty and Lilly faced their boss, who was peering sternly at both of them over the rims of his glasses. Scotty stole a glance at Lilly, remembering the last time Stillman had called them on the carpet, and when she glanced back with a slight smile, he knew she was looking back on the same fond memory.

"You two owe me an explanation," Stillman began, looking from one detective to the other. After another brief glance at Lilly, Scotty steeled himself for the uncomfortable interrogation that was no doubt about to occur, but he was amazed when she beat him to the punch.

"An explanation of what, Boss?" she asked evenly, her eyes betraying nothing. _How the hell does she do that? _Scotty wondered in disbelief.

"Either one of you want to tell me why the hell you two both requested a transfer, why the _hell _my two best detectives both requested a transfer out of my squad on the same damn day?" Stillman demanded.

Lilly's eyes widened, and she looked at Scotty, whose mouth had fallen open in shock.

"You…asked for a _transfer_?" he finally managed, still gaping at Lilly. "You…were gonna _quit_?" He was utterly dumbfounded. Lilly Rush…had put in to transfer out of cold cases?

Lilly was equally shocked. "Me?" she echoed. "_You_ were gonna leave? You? Where were you gonna…?" she trailed off, unable to finish her question, and the two of them could only look at each other incredulously.

Stillman watched them standing there, staring at one another in shock for a moment, and then cleared his throat softly.

Jerked back to reality, Scotty and Lilly both turned to face their boss, but their minds were spinning so rapidly, still trying to absorb the information, that neither of them could say a word.

_Scotty was…gonna leave? Really…leave?_

_Lil was gonna quit workin' cold jobs? 'Cause of me? Oh, dear God…_

Stillman sighed and removed his glasses. "Do you two honestly think I don't know what's goin' on here? Do you think I don't know what happens with my own squad? I've been a detective since before the two of you could tie your shoes."

Scotty and Lilly exchanged another glance. Finally, Scotty sighed in defeat and started to open his mouth_. Better to just come clean, get it over with, maybe he'll take pity on you and transfer you someplace good so Lil doesn't have to leave._

"I don't need to know the details," Stillman interrupted sternly. "I don't…_want _to know the details. But the fact remains that the two of you have been…entangled…in an inappropriate relationship, for far longer than you should have been. Now, department policy is very clear."

"I know, Boss," Lilly said softly. "We screwed up. I'm sorry. We should have told you earlier."

"Yeah," Scotty echoed. "We should've. It was…wrong."

"We just…we didn't know what this was gonna be…until…it was," Lilly finished simply. "But…since we've both filled out transfer requests, I guess one of us'll be shippin' out." Her heart sank slightly despite her newfound joy. One of them…would be leaving. Glancing over at Scotty, she realized with a pang how much she'd miss working with him. The way he could make her look at a case from a completely different angle…the thirst for justice that was nearly as strong as her own…the way he could, even in the worst cases, bring a smile to her face…

Stillman sighed again as he sank into his chair and studied his desk, tapping a pen against it as he pondered the situation. He knew he should have thrown the book at Rush and Valens, but…maybe he was too old, maybe he was too tired, but he just didn't have it in him to suspend either one of them. The squad needed them.

Looking up at the detectives, he said again, "Department policy is very clear…partners cannot be romantically involved in any way, shape, or form. And, after the last couple days, I think you both know why."

Lilly and Scotty looked at each other again, and Stillman noticed, with a tiny bit of satisfaction, that they at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

"So," Stillman concluded. "I've been lookin' through the policy handbook, and it says nothing about romantic involvement within the same squad. As long as the two in question aren't partners…there doesn't seem to be a problem."

The implication of Stillman's words hit both of them, and they exchanged another amazed glance.

"So…me an' Lil…we ain't…partners anymore?" Scotty finally managed, smiling slightly.

"Are you ending this relationship?" Stilllman asked with a slight grin, knowing the answer before either of them said a word.

Lilly smiled shyly at Scotty, and Stillman couldn't help but feel a wave of almost fatherly affection as he saw the love shining in her eyes. Scotty returned her smile with a brief one of his own, then turned back to face Stillman.

"No way in hell, Boss," he said confidently.

"Then, effective immediately, no. You're no longer partners," Stillman announced. "I've been giving some consideration to who you'll be working with from now on, but I'll tell the whole squad as a unit. This affects all of them, too, you know," he continued.

Relief washed over Lilly as she realized that she and Scotty would neither one have to leave the squad, but at the formal dissolution of their partnership, she couldn't help but feel…well, just a tiny bit sad. It was the end of an era; an era that had begun with a cocky grin and firm handshake from him and an _I can't believe I'm getting stuck with this guy _look from her, and now, this afternoon in Stillman's office, it had just come to an end. Lilly smiled slightly as she realized that she'd miss it.

"So…how's this gonna work, Boss?" Lilly asked. "Do we…still go out on interviews, do interrogations together?"

Stillman smiled slightly and glanced in her direction. "When the situation warrants the two of you and your particular skills, then yes, you'll work together. I'm not gonna keep a running tally, and I'm not gonna let the fact that you two are…involved…affect decisions I make regarding personnel on cases. I've got better things to do."

He sighed and rubbed a hand over the top of his head. "Running herd on this squad is a full-time job in and of itself. You're both professionals. I don't have time to baby-sit you, and I don't expect to have the need. I expect the two of you to conduct yourselves with the same degree of professionalism that you always have. Are we clear?"

Scotty and Lilly both nodded.

"Now…Stillman began again, looking from one detective to the other, "are you two still serious about those transfers?"

Wordlessly, Scotty and Lilly approached Stillman's desk and retrieved their respective transfer requests, Lilly sighing with relief and Scotty breaking into a wide grin as he stuck his letter into Stillman's paper shredder.

Once the whirring of the machinery had subsided, Stillman smiled kindly at the two of them and produced two identical forms from his desk, laying them on the edge of it, facing Scotty and Lilly.

"I'm not gonna keep secrets from IAD," he declared. "You two have to let them know you're involved."

Scotty looked down at the blank form in front of him and swallowed nervously. They were back together, they were happy, they were in love, and he wouldn't change that for anything in the world…and, yet…there was just something about that piece of paper, about scrawling his signature across the bottom, that gave him pause. Signing that form made it…official. Concrete. There was no going back. That signature at the bottom would end their partnership and announce, to people who Scotty felt didn't have any business knowing, the beginning of something entirely new and different. His heart leaped into his throat as he realized that this relationship of theirs was going to require a level of commitment, from both of them, that he hadn't quite counted on. Maybe he'd been naïve, or maybe he'd just been stupid, but he'd been so caught up in the whirlwind of his romance with Lilly that he hadn't really considered the long-term implications. He'd known all along that they'd have to come clean eventually, but the fact that the moment was here, that he was about to reduce their…transcendent love…to a few scribbled lines on a cold, impersonal form…that made him, well…balk slightly.

Lilly, for her part, dashed through the form quickly, then got to the line at the bottom, the one with "Detective Signature" underneath it. She paused for a moment, recalling another, vastly different form that she'd filled out just that morning. It felt like a lifetime ago, and might as well have been, she realized with a slight smile. Signing this form would make her relationship with Scotty absolutely, one hundred percent official. No more hiding. No more running away. She was really doing this. There was no going back once she'd inked her name on that little line.

With a dazzling smile and a surge of joy, she triumphantly scrawled her signature across the bottom, then breathed a sigh of relief and glanced over at Scotty.

He was absolutely dumbfounded. Lilly Rush, who had literally run away from him a mere twenty-four hours ago when he'd told her he loved her, had just dashed through the scariest, most intimidating form he'd ever seen as though it were a magazine quiz. Did she even _read _the damn thing? Did she have the faintest idea what she was signing, what they were both _doing? _

But the look in her sparkling blue eyes told him the truth: she'd read every word of the form, she knew exactly what she was doing, and she'd done it anyway without the slightest hesitation. _She's kickin' your ass, Valens, _his brain informed him, and Scotty smiled, his fear suddenly bleeding out of him. If Lilly Rush could do this, then he could do it. Her smile gave him the confidence he needed to fill out that form, and when he scribbled his name across the bottom, he broke into a wide grin and felt an enormous weight lifting from his shoulders. This was scary, they were heading into uncharted territory, but it was right. No more secrets. No more hiding. No more running away. They were in this.

They handed the forms to Stillman, who placed them in a manila envelope, then smiled at the two of them. Gaining courage, and overwhelmed by curiosity, Scotty turned toward him.

"Boss, can I ask you a question? Off the record, of course."

Stillman nodded.

"When did you…y'know…?" he asked, much to Lilly's alarm. She was as curious as he was…but at the same time, she wasn't at all sure she wanted to know how long their…secret relationship…hadn't been a secret.

"When did I figure out that something was going on between the two of you?" Stillman finished Scotty's thought.

"Well…yeah," Scotty replied, smiling sheepishly.

Stillman sighed. "I suspected as much when you got back from Nashville, but I didn't know for sure until you both came in grinnin' like idiots the following Monday."

Lilly was stunned. "So…all this time…you've known? Last night…when you told me to look at the evidence…you knew? You knew this would disrupt the squad, and you…tried to talk me into it anyway?" she asked slowly.

Scotty glanced at her incredulously, then turned his stunned gaze onto Stillman. _Boss _had gone to bat for him, too? He couldn't believe it.

Stillman couldn't help but smile slightly as he glanced from one to the other.

"Professionally…this might not have been the wisest move in the world," he began, smiling at Lilly, "but…when love comes…you're gonna regret it if you don't do everything in your power to keep it. And you two are good for each other, there's no denying that. So…we'll adjust."

Lilly's heart soared. Having Stillman's blessing on the relationship meant the world. A wide smile crossed her face, and her eyes sparkled with joy as she gazed at Stillman. "Thanks, Boss," she said simply, her tone conveying far more than her words ever could.

"You're welcome, Lil," he replied, smiling at her kindly for a moment, then cleared his throat. "Could you…give us a minute?" he asked, looking over at Scotty briefly.

Lilly glanced at Scotty with alarm, but agreed, turned, and left the office.

"Close the door," he instructed, and with one last wary glance at the two of them, she obeyed uneasily, heading for her desk with a pounding heart.

After Lilly departed, Stillman turned to face Scotty, a stern, almost paternal look in his eyes. It kind of reminded Scotty of the suspicious look the cats had given him at first. He'd been unnerved by it then, and he was no less unnerved by it now.

"Scotty…" Stillman began. "Lil is…special to me. Not just as a detective, but…personally. I care about her. A lot."

"I know that, Boss," Scotty replied softly, confusion creasing his brow slightly.

"So don't screw this up," Stillman ordered, his voice stern.

Scotty couldn't help smiling. "I'll try my best."

"Because if you hurt her…you're gonna have to deal with me," Stillman finished. Scotty chuckled nervously, but at the glare the boss shot him, he sobered quickly, attempting to disguise the laugh as a cough.

"This is serious, Valens," Stillman said, leveling him with another fierce look.

Scotty wiped the last traces of the grin off his face.

"I know," he replied, looking at Stillman earnestly, "and if it's any help, Boss…I love Lil…with all my heart. And…hurtin' her is the last thing I ever wanna do."

"Okay, then," Stillman replied. With a smile, he extended his hand to Scotty, who shook it, grinning broadly.

"For what it's worth, Scotty," Stillman added, almost as an afterthought, "it's good to see the two of you…smilin' again. You've both had a rough couple of years."

"Yeah," Scotty agreed. They had had a rough couple of years, what with Elisa, and George, and all the rest…but now, all that was a distant memory, washed away in the flood of love he felt for his partner…_former _partner, he corrected himself. Lilly was his girlfriend now. She loved him, and he loved her.

Scotty's heart soared, and he almost felt like bursting into song. _Get a grip, Valens, _his brain chided him._ This ain't some cheesy-ass musical, this is Homicide._

"So, then…you kinda knew why I was so dead set on takin' Lil to New York," Scotty concluded with a slight grin.

Stillman looked up at Scotty and gave him a withering glance. "I'm not stupid, Scotty."

"I know that, Boss….just sayin'…" Scotty trailed off uncomfortably.

"Get out of here," Stillman said with a smile. "Go take Lil out to dinner or something."

"Will do, Boss," Scotty replied with a wide grin, and left the office with a discernible bounce in his step, making a beeline for Lilly's desk, where he placed a proud kiss on the top of her head. The secret was out. There wasn't any need to hide anymore. Everyone knew, and no one objected. He was almost giddy.

"What was that all about?" Lilly asked, a concerned note in her voice.

"Nothin'," Scotty replied, placing his hands on her shoulders and massaging them gently. "Boss just says I gotta take you out to dinner tonight."

"Really? He said that?" Lilly replied, turning to look up at him. He kissed her cheek quickly, then came around in front of her and perched on the edge of her desk.

"Yeah," he grinned. "He also…kinda…did that whole…dad thing."

"Dad thing?" Lilly asked, mystified.

"Y'know, the thing…where the dad threatens to kick the guy's ass if he ever hurts the girl," Scotty explained, grabbing Lilly's coffee mug and taking a sip.

A flicker of amused disbelief crossed Lilly's face. "Boss threatened you?"

Scotty chuckled slightly, then handed the coffee mug to Lilly, who absently took a sip and set it back down on her desk. "Kinda," he replied. "Said if I ever hurt you, I'm gonna have to deal with him."

Lilly was touched, and she smiled in the direction of Stillman's office, where she could see the boss sitting there, filling out paperwork as though nothing at all had happened. "Good," she replied softly, gazing at Stillman for a moment.

She then turned back to Scotty and met his eyes, which were sparkling with a joy she'd never seen from him before. "You look like the cat that ate the canary, Valens," Lilly remarked cheerfully.

"Well, you look pretty damn happy yourself, Rush," he replied with a grin. He scooted forward on her desk and lowered his head to kiss her.

"Damn, you two…get a room or somethin'," Vera said loudly, entering the office with a large paper cup from Starbucks. Jeffries, who was coming in right behind him, just chuckled softly.

Vera looked at Lilly and Scotty, who were still gazing adoringly at each other, then sighed, shook his head, and set the coffee cup down on Miller's desk.

"Got the wrong desk there, Nick," Jeffries pointed out smoothly, with a raised eyebrow.

"You're right," Vera replied, a touch uncomfortably, as he retrieved the cup.

Miller came in from the kitchen just then, where she'd discovered, with surprise and glee, that a single donut remained.

"Okay, fatass, where the hell's my mocha latte with the whipped cream and the sprinkles?" she demanded.

Vera rolled his eyes and handed it to her without a word. At the curious glances cast in their direction by the other detectives, Miller explained smoothly, "Vera lost a bet. The wager was a real cup of coffee."

"What was the bet?" Scotty asked, frowning in confusion.

Miller and Vera glanced at each other with a brief smile.

"I figured you two would kiss and make up by the end of the day, and he said you'd be at each other's throats for the rest of the week," Miller explained. Turning back to Vera, she added, "Never, _ever _discount a woman's intuition. Especially mine. I'll toast your ass and have it for breakfast…every single time."

"Yes, ma'am," Vera replied with a toothy smirk.

Scotty and Lilly exchanged a glance, and Miller saw it and deftly changed the subject. "So what'd Boss want?" she asked coolly.

"To talk to all of you," Stillman answered, striding in from his office. The detectives all gathered around. Miller perched on the edge of Vera's desk and sipped her coffee, her eyes sparkling with the triumph of her victory. Vera tossed her a brief glare, then turned his attention to Stillman. Jeffries leaned against a desk, and on the other side of him, Scotty had pulled up a chair next to Lilly, turned it around backwards, and straddled it. Discovering that the positioning of his chair effectively shielded their hands from everyone else's prying eyes, he boldly reached over and took Lilly's delicate hand in his. She glanced at him in surprise, then relaxed and tossed him a secretive smile, her eyes sparkling.

"There's gonna have to be some changes around here," Stillman began. "As I'm sure you all know, Rush and Valens have decided to take their…partnership…in a different direction." Four pairs of eyes glanced over at them, and Scotty grinned broadly while Lilly blushed and looked down at her desk.

Stillman cleared his throat and continued. "Department policy is clear that partners can't be romantically involved, so they're not partners anymore…but this means that there'll be some adjustments for all of us. The only other option would be to transfer one of them out, and I don't think anybody wants that."

Lilly glanced up nervously to discover her colleagues all shaking their heads. It was clear from their reactions that a transfer was the last thing they wanted, and Lilly was touched.

"So…while the pairings for interviews will be as varied as always, Lil, your new partner is Jeffries," Stillman announced.

Jeffries turned to Lilly with a broad smile. "Well, you're a lot better lookin' than my last partner," he remarked smoothly, earning him a slight giggle from his new partner.

Beneath the desk, Scotty squeezed Lilly's hand. "He's right, y'know," he whispered into her ear.

"And, Scotty…" Stillman continued, unable to hide the amused grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth. "You'll be workin' with Miller."

Kat looked across the room and met Scotty's stunned gaze, a self-satisfied smile creeping across her face.

"Crap," Scotty griped with a tight smile, and Miller burst out laughing.

"Oh, man, Valens…your ass is toast!" the smirking Vera chortled from across the room.

"Damn right it is," Miller agreed with a grin.

Scotty sighed and rolled his eyes, eliciting more chuckles from the rest of the group. "I'm screwed," he muttered.

Stillman smiled slightly, then turned to Vera. "Nicky…you're on your own for a while…but as you know, I like to mix things up, so it won't change too much for you. I'll make sure of that," he added kindly, and Vera met his boss's eyes with an appreciative nod. He wasn't thrilled about the changes, but the way Stillman knew that and was making the extra effort to keep things as much the same as possible…well, that was just tops.

Besides, he realized, with a twinkle in his eye…Miller would have her hands full keeping Valens…or…Man Candy, as Kat suddenly insisted on calling him, for reasons he couldn't even begin to fathom…in line, and that meant she wouldn't have nearly the time or the attention to devote to the donut supply in the kitchen. Basking in the knowledge of this realization, Vera smirked in her direction, and she leveled him with an icy glare.

Stillman glanced around the group. "These changes acceptable to everyone?" he asked. They all nodded in response.

"Well, then I'll just go get that paperwork filled out so we can all get outta here," he said, turning and heading back into his office.

Looking over at her new partner, Miller smiled slightly. "I'm glad he's gonna mix it up sometimes, 'cause I'm sure as hell not gonna be able to stand you all day every day."

"Likewise," Scotty replied jovially, with a cocky grin.

"You and your damn sex hair and clothes everywhere…" she muttered.

"Relax, Miller," Scotty said, rolling his eyes. "Me an' Lil are gonna keep it professional when we're on the clock."

Miller arched a skeptical brow. "Professional, huh?" she repeated. "Then I don't ever wanna catch you two doin'…whatever the hell it was you were doin' in the evidence room...again, and I mean _ever_. I do _not_ need that visual."

"Or, y'know…at least hang your tie on the doorknob or somethin'," Vera added with a smirk.

"Keep it clean, "Jeffries echoed. "Or at least…discreet."

"Speakin' of the evidence room," Miller said slyly. "There is one more box."

"We'll let you two take care of that…" Jeffries added.

"We're stayin' the hell upstairs," Vera concluded.

Scotty and Lilly looked at their three colleagues, whose eyes sparkled with mischief as they gazed back.

"We don't see your asses back up here in ten minutes, we're bustin' down the door, so no funny business," Miller warned as they each picked up a box and started to leave.

As Scotty and Lilly passed, Vera elbowed Scotty. "Valens, you dog…you had me thinkin' you were with some hot blonde, and it was just Lil the whole time."

"Lil _is _a hot blonde," Scotty replied, smiling over at Lilly.

Miller rolled her eyes, Jeffries chuckled softly, and Vera shuddered. "It's like picturin' my sister," he complained.

Lilly headed around the corner toward the hallway, and Scotty hung back. "I'll…I'll be there in a second, Lil," he said, and she glanced at him, confusion creasing her brow, then shrugged and continued on her way.

Scotty pulled Jeffries aside and looked deep into his colleague's eyes. "Thanks," he began. "Thanks...for last night…and this mornin'…I was kind of a jackass."

"No problem," Jeffries replied with a smile.

"So…you and Lil, huh?" Scotty asked, grinning.

"I should be askin' you that," Jeffries retorted.

"Listen," Scotty said soberly. "She ain't my partner anymore…an' I know she's in good hands, but…" he paused, wondering how in the hell he was going to impress upon Will Jeffries the need to look out for Lilly, to protect her, to make sure nothing ever happened to her…without sounding condescending, or sounding like he didn't trust Jeffries.

Jeffries smiled kindly and patted Scotty on the shoulder. "I'll take good care of her for ya, man."

Scotty nodded. "Thanks," he replied with feeling, then turned to go.

As soon as he was gone, Jeffries turned to his colleagues with a smile. "I believe there's the little matter of settling up," he reminded them.

Kat rolled her eyes, then fished in her desk drawer, located the wad of cash, and slapped it into Jeffries' outstretched hand. "This is one bet I don't mind losin'. You won fair and square," she admitted with a smile.

"Age before beauty," he returned, eliciting chuckles from the other two detectives.

"So how come you ain't gripin' about losin' the bet like you usually do?" Miller demanded, looking over at Vera.

Vera smirked. "'Cause I'm the one who got 'em back together," he replied.

"My ass," Kat retorted. "I'm the one who spent an hour talkin' sense into Valens this mornin'."

"I had to listen to him sing," Vera retorted, wincing at the memory.

"So did I," Jeffries pointed out. "But you didn't have to deal with him this morning. That man is one surly SOB when he's hung-over."

"Tell me about it," Miller agreed with a roll of her eyes. "Had to throw away that damn flask."

"He brought his flask?" Jeffries asked, raising his eyebrows, then smiled slightly and shook his head. "Can't believe he pulled one over on me."

"Serves you right," Miller returned.

"Point is…"Jeffries continued, "…I think we all had a part in it. Those two are happier than I've ever seen 'em, and they've got us to thank for it."

"Damn straight," Kat agreed.

"So…who's up for drinks tonight at the Black Sheep? My treat," Jeffries smiled, waving the wad of cash.

"Oh, I'm in," Vera agreed quickly.

"Absolutely," Kat echoed.

"Hey, John," Jeffries called toward Stillman's office. "Black Sheep tonight? I'm buyin'," he said.

Stillman poked his head out of the office and smiled. After the day he'd had, a drink sounded like about the best idea he'd heard in quite some time.

"Sure thing, Will," he said. "Just gotta finish up this paperwork and get you all to sign it."

"Well, we'll wait for you," Jeffries replied, then sat down at his desk, sighed contentely, and continued bantering with his colleagues.

* * *

Scotty shelved the evidence box and turned to face Lilly, and, in unison, the two sighed with relief, then both suddenly burst out laughing.

"I can't believe you were gonna transfer," Lilly gasped between giggles.

"Me?" Scotty was incredulous. "Never thought I'd see the day when Lilly Rush quit workin' the cold jobs. "

Lilly sobered slightly. "Me, neither," she replied. "But being here, every day…with you, but without you… I couldn't have done it, Scotty."

"Me neither," he agreed. "Woulda been…just too hard."

They gazed at each other for a moment, and suddenly Scotty began to realize that Lilly really, truly wasn't his partner anymore. He couldn't help but feel just a little sad...after all they'd been through together...how could he say goodbye to her as his partner?

Suddenly, inspiration twinkled in Scotty's eyes, and he extended his hand to Lil. "Well, Detective Rush, it's been a real pleasure workin' with you," he said with a grin.

"Likewise," Lilly replied with a smile, shaking his proffered hand. "It's been…interesting, I'll say that."

Scotty's eyes sparkled with mischief. "I pictured a guy," he said, and fond recollections danced in Lilly's sapphire eyes.

"You got the one girl in the joint," she replied without missing a beat.

"Best thing that ever happened to me," he said, the mischief gone from expression and replaced with warmth and tenderness.

"Me too," she agreed softly. "Course, you're still stuck with a girl," she added playfully.

Scotty rolled his eyes. "_That's _gonna be a trip and a half," he commented.

Lilly giggled. "One that I, frankly, can't wait to see."

"Oh, sure," he mused sarcastically. "Laugh all you want. But you've got Jeffries…that man is one sneaky SOB, I'll tell you that right now, so watch out."

"Oh, I will," she replied with a smile. "And I'd tell you to watch out for Kat, but I think you prob'ly figured that out on your own."

Remembering their conversation in the car, Scotty couldn't help but shudder. "That woman's gonna keep me in line whether I like it or not."

"Good," Lilly replied firmly. "Someone needs to, and I guess it can't be me anymore."

"You got a better job," he retorted. "You ain't my partner anymore…but you are my girlfriend. And that comes with all kinds of perks."

Lilly smiled and shook her head. That cockiness…when the hell had it gone from being annoying to endearing? She didn't have time to dwell on it, though, because Scotty was pulling her close. He lowered his head and kissed her then…a kiss full of love, passion, and promise. She felt her knees go weak as her heart flooded with love, and she was far from ready for it to end when he pulled away and gazed deep into her eyes, smiling tenderly.

"I love you, Lil," he said softly.

"I love you, too, Scotty," she replied. She turned around and leaned back against him then, laying her head on his shoulder and planting a kiss on his neck, and he sighed contentedly and wrapped his arms around her torso.

Suddenly, Lilly saw the ghostly forms of Tim and Ann. At first, neither one of themlooked in her direction. Ann's arms were wrapped around Tim's neck, a shy smile painting her delicate features, and Tim grinned at her adorably, brushing the end of her nose with his fingertip. They were completely lost in each other's eyes.

"That's kinda sweet, ain't it," Scotty said after a moment.

Surprised, Lilly turned to face him. "You see 'em, too?" she asked in amazement.

"Yeah," Scotty replied softly. "And I knew you would."

Tim and Ann glanced their way just then, Tim still grinning, Ann smiling shyly, and then they faded away.

"They looked pretty happy," Scotty commented.

"Yeah," Lilly agreed, before pulling him close for one more kiss. Her heart flooded with love as their lips met, and she felt happy tears prick her eyes once more. A peace stole over her soul as she realized that this relationship…this was like nothing she'd ever experienced before, and she couldn't wait to see what was around the corner for them. The kiss ended, and they stood there, just basking in the love that shone from one another's eyes.

"We better get back upstairs," Scotty told her reluctantly. "I don't want Miller breakin' down the door. 'Sides, I forgot to hang my tie on the doorknob."

"There's always time for that later," Lilly reminded him with a soft kiss on his cheek. She grinned at him once more before taking his hand and leading him down the aisle of boxes. He laced his fingers through hers, and the two climbed back up the stairs to the squad room.

_The End_

**A/N: All good things must come to an end. I have had an absolute blast writing this story, and I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to read, review, and enjoy this. If I were to express my thanks the way you all deserve, it would take a chapter in and of itself, so I'll refrain, but I do want to take a moment to tell you all how grateful I am for your comments and feedback; it's done a world of good for my confidence as a writer, and makes me eager to write more stories!**

**I'm already hard at work on a sequel to this, because I dearly love this little world I've managed to create, and am in no way even close to being ready to leave it. So it shouldn't be too long before the next one!**

**Thanks again; you all are the best fans a writer could ask for! **


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